


The Call

by Kittykatzrq



Series: The Call [1]
Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-19
Updated: 2020-02-15
Packaged: 2020-07-08 08:22:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 87,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19866475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kittykatzrq/pseuds/Kittykatzrq
Summary: The mountains are calling, and I must go. Miroku gets Inuyasha to be their wilderness guide for a vacation to the backcountry and Inuyasha must face the demons of his past. [T - language, AU - Complete]





	1. Prologue

#  The Call

~ Kitty

**Prologue**

… 

_ ‘Deep in the forest a call was sounding, and as often as he heard this call, mysteriously thrilling and luring, he felt compelled to turn his back upon the fire and the beaten earth around it, and to plunge into the forest, and on and on, he knew not where or why; nor did he wonder where or why, the call sounding imperiously, deep in the forest.’ _

_ \- Jack London, The Call of the Wild _

* * *

**From** : Miroku theIdiot

**Sent** : Tuesday, January 1, 2019

**To** : Inuyasha Takahashi

**Subject** : Hey roomie!

Hey roomie!

Long time no talk! How you been since falling off the face of the earth? Seriously, Myouga’s been harassing me for your whereabouts. You’re still somewhere in Alaska or something right?

So, Sango and a friend of hers are planning a backpacking trip through your end of the world and I told them you could guide for us. How bout it? I know Sesshoumaru’s pretty tight on the purse strings - we could pay you to keep us alive. Not a bad deal right?

Let me know!

…

**From** : Miroku theIdiot

**Sent** : Sunday, February 3, 2019

**To** : Inuyasha Takahashi

**Subject** : Hellooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Dude! Are you alive? Sango’s breathing down my neck for some rough plans and I need to get back to her! We’re looking at 2 weeks in July. Is that good for you?

… 

**From** : Miroku theIdiot

**Sent** : Wednesday, March 6, 2019

**To** : Inuyasha Takahaski

**Subject** : you leave me no choice…

Inuyasha,

This is your last chance. Answer me or I will go directly to your brother to cut off your ramen supply.

You have been warned.

Looking forward to hearing from you.

…

**From** : Sesshoumaru theTurdWad

**Sent** : Thursday, March 21, 2019

**To** : Inuyasha Takahaski

**Subject** : Answer the moron

Inuyasha,

You will inform Miroku to cease his harassment of my female employees and clientele immediately. Failure to do so will result in complete cessation of all shipments for the foreseeable future.

In translation for your simple brain: no more ramen or coffee.

Sesshoumaru Takahashi

CEO, Takahashi Corporation

…

_ Bzzt! Bzzt! _

It wasn’t often that Miroku received a call from this particular number and he smirked as he stared down at the buzzing device. There was a gleeful spark in his eyes as he allowed the cell phone to ring for several more seconds before finally tapping the answering icon.

“Glad to see you haven’t died yet,” he said smoothly, holding the phone a fair distance from his ear, bracing for the slew of screaming profanity he knew was about to burst forth. A tall, young woman entered the room and glanced at him curiously as she pulled open the fridge. He winked at her, holding out a thumbs up. Their trip was all set to go!


	2. ... And I must go

#  **The Call**

~ Kitty

**Chapter 1: … And I must go**

… 

_ “To the lover of wilderness, Alaska is one of the most wonderful countries in the world.” _

_ \- John Muir, Travels in Alaska _

* * *

He moved with very little motion, just a small shift of balance to tip him over and off the last step, landing with a sharp crunch on the hard dirt surface. A long, dark braid dangled over his shoulder and he absently flipped it back and he paused to take in his surroundings. The smells and sounds of the city invaded his senses and he wanted nothing more than to swing himself around and back into the rickety little plane that had brought him to this place. His heavily booted feet brought him to the back of the bush plane and he collected his worn, dusty pack quickly before trudging around the tiny building that served as a mini airline terminal. The other passengers that had arrived with him were heading inside to escape the summer sun but to him, the less time he spent indoors the better. The air was lifeless here, somehow barren and empty, and he felt as though it latched onto him as though to siphon out his very life force. There was muted chatter around him as the commuter airline crew hauled around the freight that he’d traveled with into Fairbanks. The unnatural movements in his periphery and the sounds of machinery and human voices grated on his senses, making him feel unbalanced, like he was at sea. Sunlight, harsh and overbright, bounced off of the metal and windshields in the parking lot, further throwing him off center as he struggled to adjust to the sudden rush of civilization attacking him from all sides. 

A sharp ping sang out from his back pocket and the young man failed to stifle his flinching reaction to the sudden noise. He heaved a long, suffering groan, almost a growl, as he fished a cell phone out of his pocket to glance at the chipped and cracked screen.

_ “Just landed! See you at passenger pick up!” _

A scowl cut deeply into his forehead and he resisted the urge to hurl the phone into the parking lot pavement. Instead, he clumsily punched in a response to the message and sought out a shaded corner to crouch in. His stance and ‘bite your head off’ expression kept workers and airline patrons alike at a distance. In his adolescence perhaps, the sidelong glances and hushed whispers would have made him painfully self conscious. But now, like how years of friction grows a callus, he’d settled into the hardened protective mental shell around his heart and the waggling tongues no longer caused him grief.

And so, he waited, silently stewing, while his glare seemed to burn holes into the ground beside him.

… 

_ “Get your ass over here” _

Miroku chuckled immensely to himself as they waited at the curb. He practically bounced as he swayed from foot to foot while reading the message. His movement helped dislodge the pressing, incessant buzzing insects trying to land on his arms and legs, which he kept in constant motion since his bug spray was buried somewhere deep inside their luggage. Beside him, his fiance rolled her eyes behind her dark sunglasses.

“He’s seriously going to just leave you to die when we get out there,” she told him. Miroku only smiled, sidling up closer and trying to discreetly slip an arm around her waist. The tall girl side-stepped his approach neatly, eyes locked onto the screen of her own phone and leaving Miroku to embrace nothing but air.

“Kagome’s already at the hotel,” she informed him, waving her hand beside her face to swat at the mosquitos clamoring for fresh tourist blood. They were huge. Heavy, floating black spots with spindly legs and probing mouths, the air was thick with them. Sango huffed as she tried to keep them off her face, the one stretch of skin she’d left undeeted. Miroku took a moment to admire her physique, the sturdy way she planted her feet, a hip cocked out to emphasize the roundness of his favorite feature. Athletic clothing looked good on her; even how the loose fitting cargo pants hung from her hips seemed to accentuate her proportions and now his thoughts turned in another direction.

“Think we can get Inuyasha and Kagome to… give us some private time tonight?”

Sango rolled her eyes again, shaking her head. She gave him a deadpan look and said flatly, “If he’s anything like I remember, I think he’ll make it a point to cockblock you this entire trip.”

The young man sighed, it was probably true. He rocked back to his heels, leaving Sango to continue her text conversation with Kagome. Casting his eyes around, he made a face at the large, overly stuffed baggage piled at their feet. He nudged the contents with a booted foot, hearing the crinkling and clanging inside, the tools and supplies that would keep them alive for the next two weeks. Sango swatted his shoulder, giving him a look that demanded no nonsense, even as she continued to be engrossed with her phone. A few minutes later, a large van pulled up along the curb, bright lettering on its side indicating it was their ride.

“Springhill Suites?” the driver called, stepping out and glancing around.

“Here!” Miroku called, shouldering his pack and grunting as he struggled with the rest of the bags. Similarly laden, Sango shuffled towards the shuttle, gratefully dropping her luggage with a heavy thud. 

“Jeez it’s hot,” she grumbled, “Isn’t it supposed to be cold in the arctic?”

Miroku chuckled to himself as he buckled in. He was looking forward to seeing his friend again, for all Inuyasha’s prickliness. He directed the shuttle driver to a small, commuter airline at the other side of the airport, and his eyes eagerly picked out a crouching figure hunched over in the shade. Twitchy, tanned arms hung limply over his knees, a nasty glower painted onto an otherwise handsome face. Sango beside him snorted as they approached.

“Yup, he hasn’t changed,” she stated, amusement evident in her voice, “this is going to be an interesting trip.”

The instant he spotted them, Inuyasha stood abruptly, limbs stiff and lips pursed. He was the picture of prickly grumpiness, clearly uneasy in his surroundings. Miroku took a breath and braced himself before stepping out of the van.

“Hey roomie!”

“Fuck you.”

The gruff young man brushed past him, muttering a stunted greeting to Sango as he unceremoniously climbed in and seated himself at the very back of the shuttle. Miroku could feel Inuyasha’s glare at the back of his neck the entire ride into town. Without turning his head, he could clearly see his friend in his mind’s eye: arms crossed, shoulders slouched. Sango was used to this frosty attitude and gazed out the window to take in her first sight of the northernmost city she’d ever been to. Surprising to her eyes, it had the feel of any other modern suburb, complete with supermarkets and a Walmart, restaurants, and Starbucks. And then she chastised herself. What did she expect, igloos? Beside her, a wide, warm hand found its way to hers and she smiled to herself, letting her fingers intertwine with Miroku’s. She knew her assertion earlier was true. They were unlikely to find much private time these next two weeks. With a sigh, she mentally resigned herself to the fact that she would have to deal with a ravenously amourous fiance when they returned. 

The ride was short and soon the shuttle was pulling into the hotel parking lot. Sango barely had time to step out when she heard a familiar voice call out to her.

“Sango!”

A slender figure bounced out of the sliding doors, arms open wide. “It’s been ages! I can’t believe we’re finally doing this!”

Sango laughed as she returned the bear hug. “Oof! It’s great to see you, Kagome! You look great!”

The girls pulled apart and Kagome laughed. “I better! I worked my ass off to get fit for this thing! You still have me scared to death that we’re going to get eaten by something out there.”

“Ahem,” Miroku coughed, “Long time no see, Kagome.”

Inuyasha had been standing awkwardly to the side, his jaws locked tight as he stood unhappily in the background. Everything was too loud, everything was too strange. He begrudgingly admitted to himself that perhaps he’d been a little too isolated for a little too long as the small reunion seemed like chaos to him. And then the new girl spun around to greet Miroku and Inuyasha got a good look at her beaming face.

It felt as if he’d been plunged into a snowmelt lake. He felt something turn to lead inside his chest and plummeted through his stomach to his feet. Blood drained from his face and his entire body went rigid stiff. His breath hissed as he gasped through tightly locked jaws. He was twenty-three again, and the crashing heartbreak returned in an avalanche of memory and familiar gut-twisting pain. He could no longer breath and he felt a rolling sensation of nausea ripple up the back of his throat.

“... and this is Inuyasha,” Miroku was saying. Before the smiling young man could fully turn around, Inuyasha was gone, briskly grunting a greeting as he pushed his way past them and into the hotel. The receptionist could not check him in fast enough and he nearly crumpled the plastic key card in his white-knuckled fist. The elevator doors opened at a glacial pace and he when he heard their voices behind him as he waited, he turned tail and raced up the stairs, retreating like a wounded dog into his lonely room. The party he abandoned watched him go in confusion, oblivious as he stumbled to the bathroom and heaved the contents of his stomach while he forced back his tears.

… 

The sun was toying with the horizon when he finally picked up the phone he’d been ignoring for the last several hours. He’d closed the black-out curtains and the screen’s artificial brightness caused his eyes to squint and water.

“What.” He said simply, neutrally.

“Dude, finally,” Miroku said, “What’s going on? We’re trying to make plans for dinner.”

“Go without me,” Inuyasha replied, hanging up before Miroku could begin to utter an answer. He knew he couldn’t hide in the hotel room forever. But oh, how tempting it was to abort this endeavor right now. He’d been mentally prepared to deal with the annoyance and the frustration that came along with keeping Miroku out of trouble. He’d spent a significant portion of his college experience rescuing the idiot from every situation imaginable. But that girl. Sango’s friend. He could not endure  _ her _ .

Inuyasha lay flat on his back on the bed. There was a tightness in his lungs that made him short of breath. A cold, unfeeling fist was squeezing down on his chest and his teeth pierced his lip as he struggled to tamp down the rising panic. The taste of iron in his blood was sharp and bitter. Then the tension snapped and he was holding his breath while his diaphragm spasmed. The would-be sob lodged in his throat and he held it there, remembering the tactics he’d used so long ago to silence his gasps and whimpers. 

_ Let it pass. _

When his body quieted, he chanced a small intake of air. The smallest little gasp before the lump in his throat threatened to spill out again. He bit down on both his lips as he held onto his quaking lungs.

_ Let it pass. _

It took a long time for the convulsing to end. He lay there for hours, focused on his breathing, commanding his lungs to inhale smoothly. In the dark, his face was carefully set to neutral, almost serene, but when his concentration broke for even a second, the corners of his lips twisted and moisture seeped from the corners of his eyes. Eventually, he stood up, absently pulling open the curtains to gaze down at the river outside his window. The sight of water helped his mind think of other things. The ripples, the reflections. The swirls and the eddies. The hypnotic dance of light refracting on the water’s surface and his mind quieted as his eyes lost their focus. Above the arctic circle, the summer sun did not truly set, and it was to the light of the midnight sun that Inuyasha was able to slowly drift into the blissness darkness of sleep.

… 

“Good morning.”

Inuyasha looked up to the sound of her voice, swallowing his first instinct to flee. It was difficult, to see the girl in front in him, the bright, hopeful eyes, the cheerful cheeks that dimpled as she tried to hold her smile. Instead it was a haunted mask that he saw and he grit his teeth as he forced himself to hold her eyes. She seemed startled by the fierceness of his gaze, frightened even. He realized he must surely be glaring at her and blinked, glancing away.

“Keh,” he said in answer.

She stood in front of his table for a moment longer, a steaming cup of coffee in her hands. The noises of the hotel breakfast buffet continued around them, the bustling of the hotel workers, the chatter of the guests. The ambient sounds around the room, with the thick, heavy smells of breakfast meats and coffee seemed to press in from all sides and he suddenly felt suffocatingly claustrophobic. Eventually the girl awkwardly tried to start again and he found it hard to listen to the question.

“We… we’re going to REI to pick up last minute gear,” she said, voice slipping as his lack of response discouraged her, “You want to come? … maybe…?”

_ ‘No.’ _

It was on the tip of his tongue. But the rational part of his brain quieted his reluctance. He also had a shopping list. 

“Yeah,” he said, “OK.”

He kept his eyes on the table, hearing her let out a breath, like she was trying to laugh. The shadow she cast moved and fidgeted uncomfortably.

“Great… we’re meeting in the lobby in ten minutes.”

He grunted and stood, having tolerated as much as he could bear. Preparing to flee, he found himself briefly distracted by just how small she was. She hardly came up to his chin. His abrupt movement must have startled her. She jumped back like a frightened deer, her coffee dangerously close to spilling over her hands and shirt. She adjusted her grip and scampered away, and a heady relief washed over him. He could finally breathe.

It was an awkward walk to the store. The silence was thick and tense and eventually, Inuyasha couldn’t suffer it any longer, picking up the pace until he could no longer hear their footsteps behind him. Kagome stared at his back, allowing the distance to grow greater and greater. The long swaying braid he wore had piqued her interest when she first saw him step out of the van. And despite his stern look, he was handsome, and she had been excited at the prospect of spending the two weeks in the wilderness with him. His abrupt departure yesterday was startling but it wasn’t until his icy attitude this morning that she’d firmly landed on her conclusions about this stranger.

“Has he always been such an ass?” She whispered to Sango as they strolled. Sango frowned, perplexed as well.

“Well…,” she said, “Not  _ that _ much of one…”

“Are you sure he’s gonna be ok to guide us?” Kagome asked, “I’m kind of not getting a good vibe from him.”

“Think of him more like a safety net,” Sango tried to soothe her friend, “he’s mainly there in case something goes wrong.”

“I guess…,” Kagome said. She still wasn’t quite convinced. It was only the four of them, and with Sango and Miroku being an item, she seemed to be heading in for an incredibly awkward, tension-filled two weeks, with an unstable, touchy hermit as her only reprieve from being the third wheel. This wasn’t looking promising. And then she remembered the other part of their trip.

“Sango…,” Kagome said. The taller girl reacted instinctively to the apprehension in her friend’s voice. “Could you be my raft partner? I really don’t think I’ll be comfortable with Inuyasha…”

Sango resisted the urge to sigh. One week on foot, one week on water. That was the plan. And only the boys had real white water experience. But one look at Kagome’s worried face and Sango let out the sigh.

“Let’s see how things go,” she said, “But if you’re still not comfortable with him, sure, I can be your partner.”

Kagome cracked a smile in relief, “Thanks Sango.”

A little ways ahead, Miroku was power walking to catch up with his dark haired friend.

“Inuyasha!” he called, “Dude, seriously.”

Inuyasha turned aggravated hazel eyes to the ponytailed man, hardly slowing his pace in the slightest. The expression on his face should have warned him away, but Miroku was determined to get to the bottom of his ex-roommate’s bizarre behavior.

“What is  _ wrong _ with you, Inuyasha? Kagome’s way freaked out because of you!”

“Fuck off,” Inuyasha said sharply, entirely unwilling to broach the subject. And then, under his breath, “as if you don’t know…”

“Don’t know what?” Miroku asked. It was with a mixture of annoyance, and concern that Miroku persevered. Grumpiness, he’d been prepared for, but  _ this  _ seemed like something else entirely.

“You’re joking,” Inuyasha ground out, keeping his voice low as they entered the store, “You must be fucking joking.”

He led them in a beeline to the fuel section, blindly grabbing several canisters of kerosene and rushing toward the checkout counter.

“Inuyasha, I have no clue what you’re talking about...”

Inuyasha rounded on his friend, very nearly spitting into his face while he thrust a scratched up, worn credit card at the startled cashier. “You really don’t see it?”

“Don’t see  _ what _ , Inuyasha?” Miroku asked, beginning to feel exasperated, “Remember our talks in college? I can’t  _ know _ unless you  _ tell me _ !”

Miroku raked a frustrated hand through his hair, dislodging the modest ponytail at the nape of his neck. Man, did they sound like an old married couple, he thought to himself. Some things never seem to change.

“ _ Kagome! _ ” Inuyasha hissed in a barely contained whisper. Miroku was brought up short by the hardness in Inuyasha’s voice.

“ _ Kikyou! _ Kagome and Kikyou! They’re practically  _ twins _ !”

Miroku frowned, struggling to call up an image of Inuyasha’s old college flame. “So… they look similar?” he tried.

“Try fucking identical! It’s like Kagome’s a clone of her!”

Miroku paused, the gears in his head turning. Inuyasha glared at him impatiently, waiting for something to click in the idiot’s brain. Miroku made a face and shook his head.

“I don’t know,” he said, “I don’t remember. And in any case, Kagome completely different from your ex.”

“Are you fucking  **_BLIND_ ** ?” Inuyasha bellowed. All shoppers in the store turned startled eyes to the bickering couple who’d been whispering irately to each other for the past several minutes. Miroku glanced around, embarrassed, noting that Sango and Kagome were staring as well.

Dropping his voice down to hardly a whisper, he spoke harshly into Inuyasha’s ear.

“Don’t. Ruin. This. Trip.” he ordered, “It was a logistical nightmare and we’ve been saving for years. I honestly don’t remember what your ex looked like. She hated us and pretty much made you disappear since senior year. Kagome. Is. Not. Her. She’s completely different and you’ll see that once you get to know her. So be nice.”

Abruptly, Miroku stood back and plastered his best ‘used car salesman’ smile on his face. “Hey Sango, Kagome, you guys done?”

Kagome gave him a dubious look, an eyebrow raised, but nodded, “Yeah, we’re ready to check out.”

Sango’s expression seemed far more peeved than anything else. ‘ _ These two seriously haven’t grown up since freshman year,’ _ she decided. Her ponytail swished as she tilted her head to ask, “Do you two boys need a room? Think you can get through this shopping trip without causing any more scenes?”

“ _ He _ fucking started it!” Inuyasha snarled, his eyebrows stitched fiercely together. Then he caught sight Kagome’s startled, worried face and his ire was instantly doused. Reeling himself back in, he swung around, grabbing his bags, and stomped away, taking up position just outside the store with his arms crossed tightly. Several shoppers took special care to give him a wide, wide berth as they entered and exited. Kagome glanced up at Sango for some kind of explanation. The taller girl just rolled her eyes.

“Those boys never grow up!” she muttered to herself. 

_ Unstable, touchy, and very bad tempered hermit’ _ , Kagome amended in her mind. She paid up first and decided to suck it up and tackle the beast. There was determination in her face and stance as she swept out the doors of the store and marched up to him. Inuyasha sent her a suspicious sideways look but held his ground, despite his body instinctively leaning as far away as possible from the perceived source of pain. A slim hand went unconsciously to each hip as Kagome took a breath to speak.

“I won’t be a fucking drag, I won’t get in the way of your perfect little vacation, and I’m not interested in making friends,” he informed her before she could even begin to form words. Kagome practically choked on her tongue. Coughing, she sputtered. 

“W-what?”

“I’m saying, don’t get your panties all knotted up,” Inuyasha said venomously, internally dumbfounded by his own behavior, “We don’t have to fucking sing kumbaya, I just need to get you guys from drop off to pick up and you’ll fucking pay me, right?”

Her jaws worked open and closed as she tried to mentally maneuver around her disbelief with this man’s behavior. While her brain tried to reconnect with her tongue, Inuyasha paused for a moment, holding his hard stare while taking a closer look at her features. His outburst had relieved much of his internal tension and the rush he felt helped him overcome his inner struggle enough to really look at her. The resemblance was haunting. For him, it was like a ghost had come back to life. Everything was achingly familiar, from the way her dark hair framed her high, elegant cheekbones to the point of her small, delicate chin. But if he really had to be nit picky, he thought, he could concede to Miroku. Kagome was a different person from Kikyou. She was more expressive, more direct, and somehow more compelling as her wide brown eyes stared into his. There was a spark of something bright and upbeat in her that Kikyou never had. In a brief moment of uncharacteristic metaphorical thinking, it briefly flashed in his mind that Kikyou was like ice, and Kagome was fire. And then her voice cut through his train of thought and brought him crashing back to the present.

“Has anyone ever told you, you’re an ass?” she demanded, her ire clearly present in her voice and expression. There was more color in her voice, he thought, a musicality in her tone where Kikyou’s would remain somber and level, even in anger. The mask of Kikyou his mind place over Kagome slowly began to crack and peel away.

Blinking, Inuyasha snorted in response. “I’ve been called worse since the day I was born.”

And now, the rest were finished and emerging from the store so he turned on his heel and began stomping off. Kagome gaped after him in disbelief, her initial hurt and confusion had now fully transformed into anger. Slim, purchase-laden shoulders heaved as she tried to take several calming breaths while Sango looked on in mild amusement.

“Ready to go?” Miroku asked nervously. He learned very quickly in his relationship that Sango’s friend had a temper and it was one to respect. And those quick, shallow breaths were a sure sign of it.

“What  **_is_ ** his problem?” Kagome exclaimed, throwing her hands up in the air. She glanced back at the pair, “Did someone shove a hedgehog up his butt?”

Sango snorted as she tried to contain a chuckle. Kagome raised tense, frustrated hands up beside her face before dropping them to slap against her thighs in apparent resignation. She began stomping off after the cause of her anger and in very much the same way Inuyasha had, her bags thumping heavily against her bare legs. 

Miroku and Sango watched her go, each with their own thoughts. Sango made a face and sighed, “Well, if not for them, at least this is gonna be an entertaining trip for you and me.” 

Miroku could only frown and scratched his chin, clearly more apprehensive about these developments than his fiance was. Honestly, he’d long admired Kagome. The young woman was bright, energetic, and her positivity was infectious. Honestly, he’d been hoping Kagome and Inuyasha would have some kind of connection during this trip. His ex-roommate had been hiding from society for far too long and, Miroku thought despairingly, if there was any hope of bringing Inuyasha back from his self imposed exile, it would have been Kagome. 

… 

He sat hunched over, resting his weight on his elbows balanced atop his knees. Sunlight from the window competed with lamplight to illuminate the space and it felt warm where it landed on his back. The room was neat and clean, with hardly a towel or sheet out of place. The only evidence of occupation was the slight dimpled wrinkling on the bed where he’d slept the night before, and his pack near the door, which he stared at solemnly. 

A knock at the door sounded hollow in the empty room. He ignored it.

The knock persisted.

Inuyasha narrowed his eyes with just a hint of amusement. While it was quite obvious that Miroku enjoyed poking and prodding him to the point of madness, Inuyasha, too, played a game of agitating Miroku as far as he could go.

From behind the door, the polite knocking became a heavy pounding.

“Inuyasha!” the muffled call was clearly at the edge of his patience, “Inuyasha we need you to check our stuff! Are we bringing enough? Do we have enough food? C’mon man!”

He was getting really close, the harried edge to the usually smooth, suave voice was getting more evident. The seated figure made no move to stand up from the bed, and a corner of his lips began to stretch upward into a smirk. It was such a call back to their college days. Although, Inuyasha was certain he’d gotten locked out of their room far more often than Miroku. The damn perv. 

Inuyasha frowned when a new, female voice sounded from beyond the door. He still hadn’t figured out what he was going to do about this Kagome. Just the faintest stray thought of her made his heart recoil. Her voice was agitated, and there was a part of him that was distressed to hear it. He huffed to himself, pursing his lips and tried to steel his resolve to ignore his heart’s response to everything related to her, and more importantly, the woman she resembled. 

Eventually, they left him to his isolation and finally, he stood. As their last night with running water, he figured he may as well take advantage of the few aspects of modern amenities he actually appreciated. He bathed quickly, wrinkling his nose at the strange concoction of smells the hotel offered him in their little shampoo and conditioner bottles. In a gush of steam, he strolled out of the bathroom, toweling his hair before setting to work taming the long tresses. 

A soft, subtle click was all the warning he had.

The door burst open, revealing her determined, angry face. So startled, Inuyasha didn’t even notice Miroku’s wide-eyed face peeking out from behind her. He was too stunned by the intrusion to focus on much else besides the looming, angry face that invaded his personal space and came to within an inch of his nose.

“I don’t care **_what_** your hang up is, you **_are_** coming down to our room to double check our gear to make sure we don’t **_die!_** ” she informed him, grabbing at whatever was most accessible on his person, which, in this case, was his hair. 

There was a half second frozen silence before a meek voice, wobbly from contained glee, spoke out behind her.

“Maybe…, maybe after he gets dressed though, Kagome?”

Within the span of a heartbeat, her face paled to a ghostly shade and she couldn’t help her reflexive action to glance down and confirm what Miroku had implied.

For the second time that day, Kagome opened and closed her mouth stupidly, her brain having disconnected from the rest of her body. Inuyasha, in a similar state of stupefaction, vaguely heard his voice respond obediently. 

“I’ll… be right down.”

Sango had a hearty, side-splitting laugh at Kagome’s expense while Inuyasha, presumably, hastily clothed himself. Miroku was incopacitated on the bed, clutching his stomach in laughter.

“I still can’t... believe... front desk gave you... a key card to his room!” he said between gasps

Kagome could only hold her face in her hands, pressing the heels of her palms into her eyes in an attempt to rid herself of the image emblazoned into her eyelids. By the time he appeared at their room, Kagome had positioned herself firmly in a corner, her face beet red and a glare that could put his glower to shame burning a hole through the hotel carpet. Sango apparently pitied Kagome enough to spare her the humiliation of facing Inuyasha any more that evening, and handled the run through of their gear inventory. 

“This is stupid, this is stupid, and this is stupid,” Inuyasha said, indicating to large chunks of Miroku’s gear. He spoke robotically, surprisingly composed given recent events.

“But, what if we need to chop firewood?” Miroku insisted, pouting as he moved the little hatchet to the reject pile.

“You won't, dumbass.”

“Then, what about these for fileting fish?”

“As long as it’s you carrying the extra weight.”

The fileting knife and plastic cutting board were similarly discarded.

“And shouldn’t we carry more water?”

“You’re  **_in_ ** a fucking river the whole time!”

“Alright,” Sango cut in smoothly, “So there’s nothing else we definitely need?”

Inuyasha grunted an affirmative and turned unceremoniously to march back out the door. As soon as he was in the elevator, he collapsed against the closest wall, unraveling as strength fled his legs. ‘ _ Just fucking great, _ ’ he thought to himself,  _ ‘Made an ass of myself, then gave her a full fucking show!’ _

Back in the room, Kagome had similarly crumpled to the floor, her face hot in her hands while Sango’s chuckling turned to full bellied laughter beside her.

This trip was not getting off to a good start.

… 

The next morning was a bit of a reversal of the previous evening.

_ BANG! BANG! BANG! _

“Mirokuuuu!” Inuyasha’s voice sounded through the door, “Get your ass up, Miroku!”

Under the covers, Kagome groaned. Perhaps it wasn’t such a great idea they had, to party on their last night in civilization. It was just so hard to remember the time when the sun never set. She wasn’t entirely sure how she managed to get into her clothes, blindly grabbing at whatever she’d laid atop her pack the night before. The electric light felt like a stab through her eyes and into her brain and her collision with the hard, flat chest just outside the door was unavoidable.

“Miroku up yet?” he demanded, glaring down onto the top of her head. He’d spent the whole night crystalizing his resolve to harden himself against the torture of her presence. But then her head tilted up to face him and he felt the armour around his heart beginning to crack all over again.

“Nnnnno, I don’t think so,” she answered, voice thick with sleep. Not awake enough to remember her dislike of this prickly young man, Kagome murmured a sleepy morning greeting, raising a fist to knuckle the sleep out of her eyes.

The sight of her, hair mussed, eyes hooded, and still half way in the land of dreams was far to intimate for him to handle. She stood so close to him, he could feel her breath against his chest, warm and insistent. There was a hard, pressing lump in his throat the next time he swallowed.

“Well, get him up then!” 

His agitation added a growl to his voice and he fled before he had to see the startled hurt spread across her face. In short order, he found himself staring dejectedly into a steaming cup of coffee, once again trying to steel himself to face her again. He was probably going to get another earful from Miroku.

“They’re getting ready,” her voice spoke up in front of him. Resolutely keeping his eyes downcast, he grunted to show he’d heard. Instead of leaving him now that the message was delivered, he heard the chair across from him scrape against the floor and watched her small hands clasp each other on the tabletop. They fidgeted nervously, her thumbs rubbing each other as they sat across from each other for a brief silence.

“So… I heard from Miroku that you two have been friends since college,” she started.

_ ‘Ah,’ _ he thought,  _ ‘she’s doing the small talk thing.’ _

Again, he grunted.

“I’m, uh… I’m sorry about last night…” she tried.

He consciously controlled his breathing, making sure not a muscle flinched. He grunted.

“I’m… really looking forward to this trip,” she said, switching topics.

Grunt.

“Kind of nervous about it, too,” she admitted, a hint of anxious laughter coloring her voice.

Grunt.

“I wonder if we’ll see any bears,” she mused.

Grunt.

“I guess as long as they’re really far away.”

Grunt.

“I hope we have good weather though…”

Grunt.

There was a pause then. He hoped she’d finally had enough and was irritated enough to leave him alone. He glanced at her hands, trying not to be so transfixed by how slender her fingers were as they toyed with each other. And then, a bubble of laughter from her startled him. This wasn’t the reaction he’d expected and he looked up in spite of himself.

“Are you a caveman?” She asked him, an amused smile lighting her face, “Miroku said you weren’t much for conversation but this is ridiculous!”

Her face… the painfully dear features in her round, full lips and wide-set brown eyes. But they were smiling at him and there was a sunniness to the expression that finally made her face seem foreign and new to him. He couldn’t quite explain why but his body responded to her despite his sullen reservations and the quirk of a smile pulled at his lips. Her eyes seemed to catch the subtle movement and her smile brightened.

“So, um, did we have to wake up so early?” She asked him, “Our flight isn’t for another couple hours.”

The more he watched her, he found, the more she seemed to become Kagome, and not a shadow from his past. She became enough of her own person in his eyes for him answer her.

“Ever heard of ‘hurry up and wait’?”

Her eyes sparkled, delighted that they were actually having a conversation now. She tilted her head curiously, raising an eyebrow in question.

“Yeah…,” she said leadingly.

“There’s a lot of that here,” he said. And then he surprised himself by continuing. “Spazzing to be on time then waiting. Especially in the backcountry. I think they call it ‘village time’ or something.”

She tried to stifle her laughter but he felt it anyway and for the first time, a true smile appeared shyly across his face.

“It’s a different rhythm of life out there,” he told her, “You don’t need clocks. I get up when I feel like it, sleep when I’m tired. I always have something to do, but I’m never busy.”

There was a very particular joy for him, when he was outside in the summer. To be able to recline against the soft mossy lichen and absorb the sun’s radiance alongside the flowers and the trees. And now, as she smiled wistfully at him, imagining how idyllic it must be to live that way, he felt himself unfurling like a leaf, reaching up to capture its share of the golden warmth. 

“It must be like paradise,” she sighed. 

And now, he saw past her, through her, thinking of his little cabin and the game trails surrounding it. Is it paradise? That didn’t quite seem right.

“It’s… been a haven,” he murmured, more to himself than to her. Kagome sensed the shift in his mood and frowned slightly, but did not press for explanation. Instead, she nodded and fell quiet. 

They sat together without a word for several minutes and he was struck by how easy the silence was. Around them, the noises of silverware clattering and others’ conversations filled the background but the space between them felt warm and private.

“What..,” his sudden vocalization surprised both of them, “What made you decide to come out here?”

Her smile was bright and immediate, somehow over pouring like sunshine over a mountain ridge. He was startled by how it flooded his senses and briefly captured his train of thought.

“Overwork,” she answered, her expression turning sheepish, “Lost my passion, got burnt out, needed to get away.”

She smiled to herself as she tucked her hair behind an ear and Inuyasha found himself following that small movement with rapt attention.

“But why Alaska?”

“In all honesty?” She said, looking straight into his eyes, a smile brighter than ever painted across her face. He felt himself freeze, his heart squeezing tight. But this time, it was a sensation that left him aching for more. She seemed oblivious to his sudden loss of breath and continued.

“Miroku showed me some pictures you sent him,” she explained, her expression soft, her gaze direct, “Something about them just called to me, you know? I had to come see it for myself.”

A buzz sounded from her pocket and she glanced away, breaking the spell. He struggled to recollect himself while she quickly read and chuckled down at the message.

“So, Sango wants you to go up and drag Miroku out of bed…” she said.

He blinked, then snapped to attention, hauling himself up out of the chair. Under his breath he began a string of curses as he departed. Kagome laughed after him, an easy laughter, without tension. And even while his focus had shifted to aggravation over Miroku’s slow ass, there was something contagious about the sound of her mirth that slowly bled into his subconscious. He wasn’t aware of it, couldn’t be aware, but an edge to his personality was being sanded down and his body felt it in the way he breathed, smooth and easy. 

Kagome smiled at his back as she watched him go. It was a short interaction, stunted and a bit awkward, but she felt she saw a glimpse of the man behind the crusty exterior and found something endearing in it. She felt significantly better about this trip.

In very short order, Inuyasha had Miroku down in the lobby, hair in disarray, but dressed and ready for action. He was berating the violet-eyed man while Sango and Kagome took care of calling their taxi and soon they were headed for the airport, where an old, small bush plane was waiting to take them into the wilderness.

* * *

A/N: so this is a bit different from my usual chapter stories. I’m making Inuyasha fully human and completely taking out all the demons and spiritual powers stuff (i may need help remembering that… haha). I normally gravitate away from making Inuyasha fully human because so much of his character centers around being half demon and the complexities that arise from it. And also, i love his random dog-like traits and superhuman senses. I feel like when you take that away, it’s not Inuyasha anymore, he could be any grumpy male character with a backstory loaded with baggage. And yet, here we are doing just that :P

Anyways, let me know what you think! This is a bit of an experiment for me and I’m not really sure where it’s going to go. Really needed to just get back into writing. Keeps me sane, you know?


	3. Between every two pines...

#  **The Call**

~ Kitty

**Chapter 2: Between every two pines...**

… 

_“Thousands of tired, nerve-shaken, over-civilized people are beginning to find out that going to the mountains is going home; that wildness is a necessity; and that mountain parks and reservations are useful not only as fountains of timber and irrigating rivers, but as fountains of life.”_

_― John Muir, Our National Parks_

* * *

It was a tiny airport, more like the waiting lobby of a doctor’s office than an entire airline service. Kagome, Sango, and Miroku all entered with wide, astonished eyes. It was the first time they’d ever been to so small a terminal. The air held on to the scents of the many passengers that have passed through, the dirt and grime from prior adventures, fragrances from tundra flora. Gruff men and women napped in the old, worn out chairs, sinking into the flattened cushions. There were a few other expeditions heading out from Fairbanks that morning and were cloistered around the coffee pot, discussing their route plans with lazy, curling wisps of steam framing their faces. Inuyasha rolled his eyes at his companions’ wide-eyed curiosity and trudged over to the counter.

“Ten o’clock, Bettles,” he said simply, “Inuyasha Takahashi.”

“Ten o’clock… Bettles,” the man at the front desk squinted at the computer screen as he pulled up their reservation, “Got it, for four passengers?”

Inuyasha grunted and lifted his pack onto the scale between the counters. He felt a presence come up beside him and stiffened.

“So that’s neanderthal for ‘yes’?” Kagome joked. She saw his ID on the counter and moved to pull out her own. He grunted in response, drawing out her laughter. It was bright and clear, like a bell, unashamed of the attention it received in the quiet lobby. He managed control over his lips but a hint of a smile entered his eyes before he glanced away, rolling them sarcastically.

“Ok, Inuyasha, step on the scale please,” the airline staff gestured.

Kagome looked puzzled, even as Inuyasha moved to comply.

“They need our weight, too?”

Inuyasha shrugged, “Keh, small plane.”

They all checked and weighed in and all found seats in the quiet lobby, glancing this way and that, chittering with excitement. Inuyasha lounged in a chair, pulling his broad-brimmed hat low over his eyes and for all appearances, fell asleep. He fit right in with the other experienced passengers, with their gear boxes and mud-caked boots, apparent boredom written onto their features. But Sango, Miroku, and Kagome were wired with eager anticipation. Their adventure was about to begin and Kagome was full to bursting with excitement.

“I can’t believe this is really happening!” Kagome exclaimed in a hushed whisper. The atmosphere was almost brittlely quiet, like a library, and compelled her to attempt to curb her enthusiasm. But her entire body was energized, practically vibrating in her seat as her eyes flashed. Sango laughed at her friend, though in truth, they all felt the same nervous zeal, manifesting as a fast paced pulse in their chests.

“Think we’ll see any bears?” Miroku wondered, “Moose? _Wolves?_ ”

“Don’t be stupid, Miroku,” a grouchy voice sounded. Inuyasha maintained his reclined position but continued to speak, “There’s no way we’re seeing wolves.”

“Why?” Kagome asked, turning to face him. She was feeling brave, and moved to pull up the brim of his hat and reveal his eyes. She laughed at his annoyed glare, deciding there was nothing that could dampen her spirits today.

“Wolves are smart,” he said, “Wolves are cautious. Seeing a wolf is like finding the holy fucking grail. You’d have to specially track and lure them out if you want to see one.”

He raised his hand to push aside hers and slammed his hat back down over his eyes, crossed his arms, and slouched back down. Kagome pouted at his curtness, flicking the brim of his abused hat.

“Sourpuss,” she called him sarcastically, before turning back to Sango. She missed the huff and the smile that pulled at his lips in response to her tap. ‘Hurry up and wait’ turned out to be an accurate description of their experience as they idled in the waiting area for another forty five minutes, watching hungrily as an earlier flight was called and boarded, twiddling their thumbs anxiously, twitchy with anticipation for their Alaskan adventure. All the while, Inuyasha maintained his bored, disenchanted position like every other seasoned passenger. 

Finally, it was their turn.

“I need Inuyasha, Miroku, Sango, Kagome, Peter, and John?”

The three of them practically leapt out of their chairs, much to the amusement of the others in the waiting area. The two other passengers joining their flight chuckled to themselves as they gathered their belongings and lumbered over. Inuyasha just rolled his eyes, lingering towards the back as they all lined up. 

Flying out on a bush plane was a far more informal affair than the common commercial flights taking off from the nearby international airport. The staff marked them off like teachers taking attendance, then led them to the small, well used plane. Kagome eyed the weathered, worn metal with some apprehension, clumsily patting the side of the plane as she precariously climbed the thin loading steps. Inuyasha eyed the motion curiously before swinging himself smoothly up into the cabin. The familiar, musty smell of the aged upholstery and greasy metal embraced him like an old friend. He may have a distaste for machinery and loud, growling engines, but the bush plane was a necessary evil that he was well practiced with, and the tension he felt from being in civilization began to loosen as his body recognized the hallmarks of rugged life in the woods and mountains. Miroku and Sango settled in towards the front of the plane, leaving Inuyasha and Kagome to squash themselves together towards the rear. The plane tilted strongly upwards, so that the only thing visible from the cockpit windshield was the clear blue sky. Kagome made herself small, tucking her legs together, trying to avoid the awkwardness of touching thighs. Inuyasha, for his part, continued to look bored and unimpressed.

“Alright folks!” Their pilot said, climbing into the cockpit and switching on the plane. “Seatbelts on. Emergency instructions are in the seatback pockets.” 

The little metal beast roared to life, shaking all the passengers inside while it warmed up. Kagome couldn’t tell if her heart was jittering from the plane’s vibrations or her own thrilling excitement. It was crammed inside the plane and she was wedged awkwardly into a small, minimal seat with hardly enough cushion to count for comfort. Inuyasha beside her had to stifle a smile at her inexperience as her head turned this way and that, taking in what details she could for her first time in so small a plane. Her eyes followed the pilot’s actions as he toggled switches and pushed and pulled levers. The plane lurched forward and she let out a soft gasp, hands clutching at the seat beside her and landing on his thigh. The contact sent a thrill through him that startled him, even as she jerked back quickly.

“Sorry!” She whispered, embarrassed. He couldn’t define what came over him in that moment. His hand moved on its own, grasping her slender palm and giving it a squeeze.

“Look outside,” he told her as they began accelerating down the bumpy runway. Her hand gripped his tight as she obeyed, eyes drinking in the sight as the little plane began to climb up into the sky. A gust of wind and their flying metal cage wobbled and dipped. This time, Kagome practically flung herself against him, her other hand wrapping around his arm and pulling her body close. Inuyasha ignored the fluttering in his stomach and again, urged her to look outside.

“You’re fine,” he said, “Look outside. It’s my backyard.”

Again, she shifted to obey, and the brush of her clothes against his arm distracted him as he watched her take in the beauty of the Alaskan wilderness. The city of Fairbanks faded away behind them, and the ground below was transformed. Thick, lush forests of pine and alders blanketed the rolling hills and mountain slopes, while wide, powerful rivers carved winding oxbows around them, tapering higher up the mountain ravines into thin, tumbling creeks that crashed down to the valleys below. Wide, sparkling lakes, rocky, reckless mountain peaks, and a peerless blue sky. There was something bold and desolate about Alaska, and it sang a siren’s song to her as she gazed down at its beauty from the loud, little plane. He saw her breath come in short and shallow and he found something bewitching in the way she gazed down in rapture. Something about her new and innocent mesmerization of something he held near and dear created a warm bubble in his abdomen and he found himself watching her for a majority of the hour and a half flight into Bettles.

… 

Miroku had nodded off quickly after they took off, and it wasn’t until Sango poked him in his side that he roused, abruptly, to see her holding a finger to her lips and urgently pointing behind them.

He glanced back surreptitiously, before whipping his head back around in a double take and staring at the pair behind them in surprise. Kagome’s full attention was out the window, batting at Inuyasha’s chest absently to draw his attention to whatever it was down below. With more patience Miroku had ever witnessed in his anti-social friend, Inuyasha seemed to whisper something into Kagome’s ear, pointing down to explain this or that about what she’d spotted. They were pressed close to each other as they leaned against the window, practically spooning, and Miroku somehow managed to fish out his phone for a candid shot before either of them noticed their audience. Flipping back around, he smirked conspiratorially to Sango and gave her a thumbs up. She rolled her eyes but smiled just the same. Things were looking good.

Kagome’s arm was wrapped around his again as the plane bounced repeatedly on their landing into Bettles. The gears and joints in the rusty, old contraption squeaked as it reunited with the earth. It was a short, gravel runway and the agile little plane swung around before coming to stop. 

“Ok, welcome to Bettles!” The pilot announced, swinging his door open and disappearing to the ground. The back of the plane thumped and the door swung open, allowing the passengers to file out and taste the fresh air.

Boxes and packs were being unloaded and they quickly picked out their gear before heading for the small general store, Inuyasha leading the way. It was a small building, all the buildings in the settlement were. The only thing larger was the airplane hanger in the distance. As they approached, a pair of low, dark shapes could be spotted milling around the porch and Inuyasha flinched to hear a squeal from behind him.

“Puppies!” Kagome cried, rushing forward. He was about to call out to caution her, the hunting dogs were not coddled house pets, but she quickly dropped to a crouch before them and reached out to introduce herself. The dogs, initially startled by the enthusiastic human rushing up to them, paced a bit before stretching out with their noses for a tentative sniff. Inuyasha huffed a quick, relieved sigh to see that the young woman at least understood the importance of allowing an animal to decide when it was comfortable enough to approach her on its own. Rolling his eyes, he moved around her to enter the dark store interior. 

The shop owner glanced up when the door opened, and she smiled to recognize her customer.

“Inuyasha,” she greeted, “That was quick, couldn’t stand the city for more than a couple days?”

“Feh,” Inuyasha grunted, “When can you take us out?”

She rolled her eyes. Inuyasha had always been straight to the point, private, and kept to himself. He wasn’t an oddity in these parts though. Many of her regular customers were uncomfortable with human company, and she rarely saw them, typically only received shipment orders. She glanced behind the solitary young man, surprised that Inuyasha had company this time. 

“Fred just flew out with another group,” she told Inuyasha, “He should be back in an hour or two. These your friends?”

Inuyasha just shrugged and grunted again, turning and stepping right back out the door, leaving Miroku and Sango to introduce themselves. Outside, Inuyasha was met with a rather amusing sight.

What was once just two dogs had suddenly become five, milling around the slender, crouching figure, tails wagging. The dog she was currently showering attention on was half melted to the ground, a leg twitching rapidly as she worked her fingers into that special spot behind a floppy ear. A cloud of fur had risen around her and a young pup tried to wedge his nose under her arm, demanding she share her love. Wet, pink tongues were everywhere, on her cheeks, her nose, her chin. Her laughter, light and bubbly, latched onto him and he stood hostage there, witnessing the scene.

“Kagome,” Sango’s voice called, ending the petting spree. Kagome looked up as Miroku and Sango emerged. She reluctantly stood, patting her thighs to dispel the dust and the fur.

“We have to go to the ranger station for an intro thing,” Miroku told her, waving toward the green roofed building. The dogs trailed after her for a short distance, eyes dewy and sad, mourning the loss of her stroking fingers. The four humans crunched down the dirt and gravel road toward the station. It was very quiet in the air around them and their footsteps seemed loud and abrasive. The station was a small, sturdy building, brightly painted, with a rustic wooden sign bearing the familiar arrowhead logo of a national park. Before entering, Inuyasha veered off to a set of cubbies while Kagome glanced over curiously. He produced a large, sturdy looking revolver from a pocket and casually placed it in one of the metal cubes, pulling out the accompanying key and checking the lock. Glancing at her interested expression, he nodded at a “No Guns” sign posted on the door before moving inside. 

A bright young face looked up eagerly when they entered, brightening further as Inuyasha stepped in behind them. The interior was dressed up like a museum exhibit, with taxidermied animals lining the walls and shelves, each with a neatly printed description card. But the very first thing that visitors were drawn to look at was a large, highly detailed map of the Brooks Range, old and faded, but impressive nonetheless. While the rest of the group gazed around wide eyed, the ranger stepped up to greet Inuyasha.

“Inuyasha!” The ranger exclaimed, “You’re back!”

“Keh,” he responded.

“How was Fairbanks?” It became immediately obvious all the young ranger’s attention focused on the returning local. Inuyasha shrugged, even as the young woman came around the counter to batt her lashes at him.

“Bring me anything?” She asked coyly, completely ignoring his companions. Miroku coughed into his fist.

“Excuse me? We were told we needed to get an intro briefing?”

The ranger glanced over with disinterest. “Oh, sure,” she said absently, “Just push play on the screen in that room.”

She gestured down a hallway before quickly returning her attention to the uncomfortably uninterested Inuyasha. Kagome gave him an amused look as she passed him, her eyes sparkling and her expression brightened into a full smile when he glared at her in response.

Twenty minutes later, Inuyasha felt he’d had just about all he could bear when Kagome and the rest emerged from the backroom, Miroku covering a yawn as he exited. The ranger turned as his attention shifted, assessing the other three, clearly unimpressed. With little else to do at the station, they wandered back to the airstrip, Kagome easily keeping pace with his long strides, enough to voice her questions from the video they’d just been subjected to.

“So, when should I use the bear spray and when should I just rely on you and that big gun of yours?”

He glanced down at her smiling face, noting the hint of playfulness in her eyes. He rolled his eyes before responding.

“We won’t get close enough for that,” he said.

“How can you be so sure?” She asked, genuinely curious.

“I just am.”

Kagome pouted. “OK, fine, then, what about what the ranger said about burning your trash? Is that really ok?”

“Keh, do you really want to lug around your smelly trash for all the bears to smell?”

He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye to catch her considering expression.

“I guess that makes sense…,” she acquiesced. Then her look turned sly.

“So…,” she said, her voice taking on a musical quality and she stepped closer to him, “That young ranger seemed very interested in you…”

Inuyasha couldn’t help himself and just groaned, pulling his hat lower over his eyes and picking up his pace. Kagome laughed at him and slowed hers, falling back in step with Sango as they headed back to the general store. The shop owner was there and waiting for them.

“I need to weigh you and your packs,” she informed them, standing beside an ancient looking scale and holding several lead blocks with their weights etched into their sides. 

“Gosh, you really can’t be weight sensitive here, can you?” Kagome murmured to herself, smiling up at Inuyasha when he snorted. “More people here know my weight than back home!”

It was quick and informal, their weights jotted down on a scrap of paper and taken inside. Then, all there was to do was wait. The dogs returned for more petting and Kagome couldn’t help but surrender to the wagging tails and cold, wet noses. Miroku and Sango decided to take advantage of their last stop with a toaster oven and feasted on some frozen pizza while Inuyasha found a seat on the porch steps and returned to his bored and napping position from the airport at Fairbanks. 

“Hurry up and wait, huh?”

Inuyasha tilted his head up and squinted at her. Backlit from the afternoon sun, Kagome stood above him, a gaggle of dogs trailing at her feet. He grunted.

“Why yes, Kagome,” she answered herself, pushing her voice box down to mimic his lower timber, “It’s ‘village time’ out here.”

Inuyasha smirked, despite himself, sitting up a little and humoring her chatty mood.

“Get used to it,” he told her, “No clocks, remember?”

“Hmm,” she said, plopping down on the porch beside him. “It’s so relaxed here,” she said, “Nobody’s in a rush.”

He grunted.

“Why yes, Kagome,” she said low in her throat again, mocking him, “Get used to it.”

He snorted. “You always so damned peppy?”

“You always such a sourpuss?”

Grunt.

“Yeah, I thought so.”

A small, rust colored dog with stumpy legs waddled up to her and her attention shifted.

“Aw, come here you little fuzz ball!” She placed both her hands on either side of the little dogs face, caressing its jaw and massaging its ears. Inuyasha huffed softly to himself but Kagome didn’t miss the look he gave her.

“What?” She asked playfully, “You jealous?”

“Keh.”

“Don’t mind him,” she told the little fuzzy face, “He’s just a big grumpywumps.”

The dog placed his paws on her legs, struggling to haul himself up and over her knees. She giggled and helped the little creature onto her lap. Inuyasha watched her for a little while, unable to admit to himself that he was, in fact, just a little jealous. It was the tenderness with which she handled the little creature.

“You’re a dog person,” he said, a statement more than a question. Kagome laughed and he enjoyed the brightness in the sound.

“I’m an animal person,” she said, “Too bad my job makes it difficult to have pets.”

Grunt.

Kagome laughed again, turning to him and leaning in. Startled, he stared up at her with wide eyes.

“You need to work on your conversation skills,” she told him, “did someone forget to tell you we’ve evolved beyond ‘bam bam’ and ‘ugga wugga’?”

Snort. Kagome chuckled to herself then signed. She leaned back and gave him his personal space back.

“So… when are we flying out of here?”

Inuyasha shrugged. “Whenever Fred gets back,” he said, “So hurry up and wait.”

Kagome laughed again, shaking her head. They fell silent, sitting on the porch and watching the activity happening around the airstrip. Several other collections of people also waited, some making last minute preparations while others lounged about with nothing to do. Miroku and Sango eventually emerged from the little general store, lips smeared with grease from their pizza. And then things settled into silence again, Kagome scratching her lap dog’s chin while the rest sat, and sighed, and waited for their pilot to return.

…

Their next plane was smaller than the first. When Kagome first caught sight of it coming in to land on the lake they’d been driven out to, she could hardly believe it was capable of carrying passengers. The floats under the fuselage were faded and Kagome feared they would spring a leak, sinking the entire aircraft into the lake. They unloaded from the pick up truck and trudged down to the pier to meet Fred.

“This everybody?” The pilot was asking. Inuyasha grunted an affirmative, briefly pausing to accept the offered hand shake before making his way to the back of the plane to load his pack. Fred turned an amused smile to the rest of the group.

“So, you’re entrusting your lives to this grouch for two weeks?” He asked, gesturing at Inuyasha with a sharp jerk of his thumb. 

“Hey!” Inuyasha yelled over his shoulder. Kagome laughed freely but made herself useful, lugging over her pack for Inuyasha to load. Miroku was less than helpful.

“Sango! Let’s take a picture!” 

The young man enthusiastically pulled his fiancé into his arms, holding out his phone for a selfie. Kagome laughed, smiling at the couple while Inuyasha grumped.

“Get your bags, dumbass,” he grumbled. Miroku glanced over and smirked, heaving his overly laden pack toward his grumpy friend.

“Here ya go!”

“What am I, your pack mule?” Inuyasha growled under his breath. He loaded the pack though, and accepted Sango’s pack when Kagome handed it to him.

“You sure this little guy’s gonna get us to our drop off point?”

Grunt.

“Ok, now you’re just doing that to annoy me…”

Grunt.

Kagome couldn’t stop herself. Her slim, little fist flew out and playfully tapped him on the shoulder. She laughed at his startled expression and stuck out her tongue. Before he could retaliate, Miroku was in between them and ushering them in front of the plane for a group photo. 

“Get off of me!” Inuyasha growled, half-heartedly struggling to get out from under Miroku’s arm. 

“C’mon Inuyasha, smile!”

Kagome couldn’t help but laugh. The image was endearing, with Miroku slung over Inuyasha’s shoulders, almost piggy-back, and she stepped into position almost shyly, feeling intrusive in their bromance. Inuyasha immediately stilled when Kagome came in for the photo, her shoulders just barely brushing against his shirt. The lake water rippled and buckled in the wind and Kagome giggled as she reached out for something stable to steady herself. His arm came around her unconsciously, like it was the most natural thing in the world and cradled her waist, pulling her against his strong, firm body and she stood stock still, feeling the warmth of his heat against her back and her cheeks were flushed as she smiled at the camera.

It wasn’t long before they were all piled into the tiny, metal plane, barreling down the little mountain lake and then soaring up, heading toward their little camping adventure.

… 

The tiny lake looked like hardly enough water for proper landing, and when the plane dipped down for its final approach, Kagome squealed to see the pine trees come rushing up as if to rip their little metal raft right out of the sky. Inuyasha’s body moved on its own, bracing her shoulders and murmuring under his breath.

“You’re ok,” his deep, soft voice said into her ear, “You’re ok.”

She shivered against him, his breath tickling the hairs at the nape of her neck. Every little movement seemed to tip the plane off balance and they bounced as they hit the water, rocking to the side before slowing. Kagome released guilty fingers from Inuyasha’s forearm, leaving little indents where her nails dug into his skin.

“Sorry!” She said, surprised at herself for the harm she’d caused.

“Keh,” Inuyasha grunted, eliciting a little huff of amusement from her. She gave him a lingering smile, and then her attention was entirely captured by the goings on around her. Their pilot maneuvered around the lake with practiced ease, assessing the depth of the shores and selecting a suitable section of shoreline to pull up alongside. Kagome was bouncing in her seat as they all felt the grumbling clatter of the branches brushing against the metal wings. Her face was a picture of excited anticipation as she gazed at the green outside the window. At long last, Fred deemed the boat in position to disembark.

“Watch your step, everybody!” He called out, opening the passenger door and helping Miroku and Sango out. Inuyasha appeared next and immediately turned back to offer a hand to the final passenger. Her slender fingers gripped his with excitement and her smile was brilliant as she stepped out and looked around, eyes sparkling as though beholding the world for the first time. 

“Wow,” she breathed, “That is just amazing!”

The air was clear and the sky was blue. The sun shone down on them, radiating it’s warm, gentle energy and the whole world around them rose up to rejoice in the short, bountiful summer. The world seemed oversaturated. The greens were over green, the blues were deep and dreamy. Swaying in the marsh grasses, little white cottony balls waved at the newcomers in little bobbing motions in time with the breeze. A light wind buffeted up to them and brought with it a wonderfully deep, earthy scent, somehow sharp, as if acidic in nature, bracing them and Kagome turned to him with a wide, radiating smile.

“You have an _amazing_ backyard,” she told him, “I’m crazy jealous!”

Inuyasha, for lack of a better response, grunted again and shrugged, bashfully turning away and helping Fred unload the little Beaver floatplane. It was with mixed feelings that Kagome watched Inuyasha’s sinewy figure help the pilot push off from the shore and all four of them solemnly witnessed the plane’s departure, roaring down the lake’s length before lifting into the air and soaring away. The little red-painted plane slowly faded from sight and the sound of its engine gradually dissipated and all that was left was three still figures contemplating quietly this strange, alien feeling of truly being cut off from civilization, trapped in a great, wide open expanse of wilderness with only each other to depend on for the next two weeks. As the group glanced uneasily at each other, Inuyasha busied himself, tightening the straps of his pack before swinging it up onto his back. Kagome glanced at him and frowned.

“You’re starting off in water shoes?” She asked, surprised to see him in shorts and sandals. 

“We’re in a bog,” he said simply, before turning and trudging away, using a pair of trekking poles to find steady purchase on the shifting ground. His actions spurred everyone into action, Miroku calling out for the disappearing figure to wait.

“Jeez, Inuyasha!” He called after Inuyasha’s back, “Wait up, man!”

Sango and Kagome glanced at each other, sharing lopsided smiles before turning to their packs, mimicking Inuyasha’s dress. The mound of earth they were perched on was deceptive, for it only took Kagome a few steps to wind up knee deep in muck, the added weight of her pack pressing her deeper into the muskeg soil and her throat cried out in surprise.

“Ugh!” She said in a high pitched squeal, “That’s gross!”

The water was cold and sent goosebumps up her thighs. Glancing around, her eyes landed on a neat little pile of almond shaped droppings and a grimace spread across her face. 

“Ew…” she whined to herself. Despite her revulsion, the spark of excited remained in her eyes, even as her nose wrinkled. She shifted, struggling to release the foot and it took an exaggerated heave to convince the marsh to surrender her shoe with wet pop. 

“Wow!” She exclaimed to Sango, who’d sported a similar, disgusted look that dragged down the corners of her lips. Kagome giggled at her, then said, “This is not what I was expecting!”

Sango gave Kagome a look that made the shorter girl giggle harder before rolling her eyes and shaking her head. Carefully avoiding the pile of moose droppings Kagome nearly landed, Sango tentatively took her first brave steps out onto the taiga. Kagome was plunging ahead, arms flailing as she struggled to keep her balance, alternatively giggling and squealing with each muddy, marshy step she took. This was why Sango had wanted Kagome to come along. There was simply nothing that could bring down the bouncy, peppy young woman and Sango was glad to have Kagome here with her. The pair of women reached for each other, gripping each other at their elbows as they laughed together, struggling against the suction grip of the ground below them and began trudging after Inuyasha. Miroku was making headway, reaching out to grab Inuyasha by the shoulder in an effort to slow him down.

“We’re not all mountain hermits like you!” He exclaimed, “Give us a second!”

Inuyasha turned and glanced back. Shaking off Miroku, he snorted, “They look like they’re fine.”

He couldn’t tell what the two women were gibbering about but suddenly raucous laughter erupted from the pair. Miroku and Inuyasha both stared at the women, each seeing a radiant smile atop a pair of strong, sturdy legs and when the girls turned to glance at them curiously, they each met a pair of direct, unashamed gawking eyes. 

“What are you lookin’ at?” Kagome demanded, returning stare for stare. At this distance, it was easier for him to resist the sparkle in her eyes and raise an eyebrow in response to the dare inside her playful expression. Sango just shook her head, glancing around.

“So where’s this river we’re supposed to be following?” The taller girl asked. The sun was warm in the later afternoon and already a sheen of sweat was appearing on her forehead. The sinking earth beneath their feet made forward movement a challenge, and, added to that, the strange, wobbly tufts of marsh grass, tussocks, were land mines for their ankles, and eventually Kagome learned it was far safer to step between them than on them. Inuyasha had to suppress the quirk of smile as he watched her, gingerly stepping between the tussocks and sinking into the soft, marshy soil. The smile was wide on her face despite her squeals in protest. Setting his expression back to his usual glower, he shouted back at them.

“Pipe down, will you!”

Kagome looked up abruptly, her face open for a breath before she narrowed her eyes and stuck out her tongue.

“Sourpuss!” She yelled back, “How on earth are you moving so fast?”

“I’m not a gimp,” he retorted loudly. Miroku was busily trudging back towards the pair, holding out his hands to offer aid. Sango thought nothing of accepting, but Kagome gave the offered hand a suspicious glare.

Miroku feigned offense at the insinuating look Kagome gave him, “I’m an engaged man, Kagome!”

In front of them, Inuyasha snorted, “Yeah, and that in itself is a miracle.”

His braid swayed, thumping against the side of his pack as he moved. Finding a rhythm, his gate was even and his legs worked in time with his breathing. With his hiking poles providing and additional two points of contact with the ground, he moved like a wild animal, each limb contributing to his forward motion smoothly, almost effortless. There was a resonance he could achieve out here, something that pulsed inside him that found solace and harmony and his heart was light and easy in the beautiful arctic day. Glancing back at the huffing triplet, he couldn’t stifle his groaning sigh. Seeing their stumbling, struggling movements, he paused, glancing upward along the slopes of the nearby mountains and changed direction, climbing higher. It would be drier, higher up, but they’d have to fight their way there through the tangled branches and the snagging boughs. His arms went to work, pushing the dense foliage aside as he made his way up.

When another round of laughter erupted from behind him, he glanced back in surprise. The thick alders weren’t usually something people laughed at. Cursed and avoided, but certainly not enjoyed the way those behind him seemed to. But they’d slowed once reaching the dense, coiled branches and he watched them for a while, the struggling and the slipping, before he finally sighed and moved back down to them.

Kagome looked up sharply when his hand appeared before her, the handle of his trekking pole pointed toward her. She was in the midst of battle with a particularly stubborn bush that seemed poised to swallow her whole. The image was comical and he didn’t even realize the wide amused smile that had plastered itself across his face. Kagome’s reaction to his open expression was a brief moment of frozen breathlessness. He had strong, sharp features and when his glower was absent, he could really be a lady killer. Gratefully, she grabbed hold of the hiking pole handle, trying to find a place to use it for leverage. Her pack held her tightly to the tree and after watching her struggle for a moment or two, he leaned in again, offering his now free hand.

“Need a hand?” 

“I need a helicopter!” 

He huffed a snort, before reaching out and gripping her wrist tightly as he heaved, pulling her against him to untangle her from the tree. She yelped as she came forward, her voice muffled against his shirt where she landed.

“Free at last!” she joked, ignoring the thrill of his hard body supporting her unstable one. 

Grunt.

“Why, you’re welcome, Kagome,” she said sarcastically, “Anytime, Kagome.”

He turned around to hide his smirk, lest she find out just how much her antics amused him. There was still a long ways up, toiling through marshy clearings and tangled alders. Her breathing came in moist, heavy pants, punctuated with a giggle or startled yelp when the ground or a branch moved in unpredictable ways. It was slow, tough going in the strong sunlight. Eventually, they stepped out onto soft mossy earth without sinking into glacial meltwater and a cool gentle breeze brushed against their sweaty, flushed faces. Inuyasha paused for long, deep breath, then nodded his chin down the valley.

Kagome turned her eyes in the direction of his nod, gasping at the sight that met her eyes. She was gazing down at a pristine, mountain valley, dotted with colorful flowers, framed by pines. The sky above was a perfect baby blue and something about the simple alpine beauty clawed at her throat and she swallowed hard. She blinked rapidly for several moments, completely taken with sunny landscape. They waited several minutes for Miroku and Sango to catch up enjoying the quiet serenity of the remote mountain side. Kagome’s eyes drank in the sight and her lungs absorbed what they could of the clean air in long, deep draughts. For years, she’d stared at pictures of pristine mountain wilderness, dangerous and alluring, calling to something deep down inside her. Now she was here, though a part of her could hardly believe it. No longer gawking at images on computer screens or peering through a window. She’d stepped through the photograph and into a brand new world.


	4. Le Sainte Terrer

#  **The Call**

~ Kitty

**Chapter 3: Le Sainte-Terrer**

* * *

_ “The walking of which I speak has nothing in it akin to taking exercise, as it is called, as the sick take medicine at stated hours …but it is itself the enterprise and adventure of the day.”  _

_ ― Henry David Thoreau, Walking _

* * *

The terrain had a way of getting to you. The scattering of swampy, slimy stretches in between thickets of dense, impenetrable alders. It chipped away at you. In the way it clung to your feet, clawed at your arms, stubbornly resisting your movements. They’d fallen silent as they walked, a heavy, panting silence. Even though now their feet weren’t being sucked to the center of the earth by the marsh mud, it was still an exercise of endurance to make progress. The sun beat down relentlessly and the four slowly moving figures periodically mopped at their faces to keep their sweat from dripping into their eyes. Kagome paused, sighing as she tilted her head from side to side to relieve some of the tightness building up from under her pack straps. She tried to breathe in as deeply as she could, despite the cinched belt strap on which her heavy backpack rested, digging into her hip bones. She’d paused frequently during the hour or so of hiking, afraid that her concentration on where she placed her feet would cause the scenery to flash by without having a chance to savor it. For all its hostility to their trespass, it  _ was _ beautiful scenery, the green, green meadow below them, the rocky cliffs above. But then the little caravan of hikers would begin to grow smaller in the distance and Kagome would have to resume her grueling trek, staring down at her feet to avoid a stumble. She was grateful to the hiking pole Inuyasha had lent her and marveled at how fast he could move. It was difficult, mentally, to be in the rear and she huffed to herself, setting her lips in a determined line before pressing on. 

“You alright, Kagome?”

Kagome glanced up to see Sango looking back at her, sweaty and panting as heavily as she was. Not for the last time, Kagome enviously wondered how much faster she could move with a longer set of legs like her tall friend. 

“I’m good!” She called back, injecting her voice with as much chipper enthusiasm as she could muster. “Could use a break to top up on water though!”

Her throat was parched and she contemplated bringing out her water bottle, perhaps just enough to wet her mouth. She’d quickly gone through her stash and was baffled by how the rest hadn’t seemed run out yet.

Ahead of her, she listened to Miroku call out to Inuyasha.

“Hey roomie!” He shouted.

No response.

“Roomie!”

Only the rustling wind through the twisted alders.

“ROOMIE!!!”

If she listened carefully, she swore she heard a grunt in the distance. 

“ROOMAROOOOOO!!!”

“Stop fucking calling me that!”

“Let’s drop back down to the river!”

“You wanna get eaten up by the alders again?” Inuyasha’s cranky voice was faint in the distance. The past hour had taught her a lot about the dynamics this trip would take on. Miroku was a naturalist at heart and enjoyed regaling them all with his near encyclopedic knowledge of the region. Kagome was decidedly more educated now on wild blueberries, bear berries, the acidity of muskeg soil, and some other berry she couldn’t quite recall the name of. And Inuyasha, despite being the hermit actually living on the Alaskan taiga, had no desire to listen, hence why his little figure was just a speck in the distance. That didn’t stop Miroku and for the first half hour, he’d maintained a continuous, educational monologue about the ecosystem around them, making Kagome feel as though they were in a nature documentary. Eventually, Inuyasha threatened Miroku with bodily harm, waving his revolver in the air in order to get the talkative young man to finally shut up.

“We need to pump water!” Miroku answered Inuyasha’s protest. If Kagome squinted really hard, she swore she could see the distant figure drop his head to his palm. 

“You can’t be out already!”

For the beautiful day. For the adventure they were only just embarking on. For the cheerful, wobbly cottongrass flowers waving at her as she panted to catch her breath, Kagome could forgive their grouchy guide. But she definitely still needed to get back down to the river.

“I am!” she shouted, waving her bottle in the air as if to prove it. They’d all started half empty anyway, so it really wasn’t that unrealistic to be at the end of their reservoirs. Inuyasha appeared to sigh in reluctant defeat, spinning on his heel and marching down the gradient toward the thick, brambly bear berry bushes and alder thickets. Kagome heaved a sigh of relief and began to bumble her way down the slope. The bushes and small trees guarding the stream had grown thicker as they’d progressed away from their drop point and Inuyasha’s hiking pole became more of a hindrance than an aide, tangling and snagging in the branches. She tried her best to keep up, but it was difficult to keep an eye on where everyone else was while she was struggling to fight her way through the thick, dense bushes and there was a teetering moment when she thought to shout out for help. 

“...Never again in my fucking life am I ever gonna…,” his voice reached her long before the racket of rustling foliage and stomping feet. She looked up gratefully to see his sharp-angled face appear from the collage of densely growing leaves. The scowl was deep and cut viciously across his forehead as he thrashed through the bushes. There was a brief moment, her noticing the dripping sweat running down his face, where she fleetingly suspended her feelings of self-doubt over her abilities. If even he was breaking a sweat out here, at least she didn’t feel so bad about herself.

“Are you the helicopter?” She asked, her eyes sparkling with mischief as she took in his peeved, and thoroughly disgruntled expression.

“Just fucking get a move on!” He snarled at her. He reached out abruptly to grab hold of her wrist. His grip was rough and firm and little bells of alarm rang out inside her head as he jerked her arm towards himself.

She fell against him heavily, with a yelp and a grunt. His breath was hot on her ear where she landed against his chest.

“Jeez!” Kagome exclaimed, pushing herself up, “You trying to rip my arm off?”

“Just get moving.”

Kagome blinked, surprised by his sour temper. She eyed him for a moment, pushing away and stepping back, immediately losing her balance and once again relying on his steadying hands to hold her upright.

“Can you start walking now?” He demanded, clearly annoyed.

“What crawled up your butt this time?” She asked back, shrugging to release his hands from her arms. Inuyasha narrowed his eyes, pausing, before glancing skyward and taking a harrowed breath.

“We’re making bad time,” he said, turning and continuing on. Kagome frowned, upset at the insinuation that  _ she _ was the slow one, yet also concerned that she would be the burden at the back of their caravan. As she watched his heavily laden pack disappearing between the alders, she pursed her lips, realizing there wasn’t much else she could do but to continue trudging ahead. Resolving to take less time to enjoy her wild surroundings, she followed, pressing onward with more urgency until the branches ended and a clear, happy stream tumbled and bumbled its way through a lush green channel. Miroku and Sango were already at the brook’s edge, industriously pumping water into their plastic bladders. 

“Hey Kagome!” Sango called out cheerfully, “Another alder try to eat you?”

Kagome returned a half smile. “Yeah… sorry…”

Sango frowned, sensing the disheartenment in her voice. “Don’t be,” she said, “Miroku and I have more experience in the bushwhacking department. You’ll get the hang of it.”

Kagome sighed with a lopsided smile, gratefully dropping her pack and coming over to crouch beside her friend and take in the view. They were cloistered together on a narrow sandy bank and the stream carved a windy path past them, through a copse of tall, skinny pine trees, disappearing around the corner. Kagome found her eyes were drawn to the beautiful deep green of the bushes. She couldn’t have composed a better framed picture. Looking down to dig up her phone, she spotted an imprint in the sand beside her and let out a surprised squeal.

“Bear!”

“Where?!”

Inuyasha was up for action immediately, a hand on the holster strapped to his leg. His brows were furrowed as he sniffed the air and scanned the brambles surrounding them, coming up empty. Miroku and Sango nearly dropped their water pump, spinning around frantically, eyes wide open. 

Kagome was pointing at the ground, nearly bouncing with excitement. 

“Sorry, sorry!” she was saying, “It’s a bear print! Wow, it’s huge!” 

She crouched down beside it while Miroku and Sango both came over eagerly to take a look. Kagome extended a hand down to the moist, compressed earth, marveling at how dwarfed her little palm looked alongside the massive pawprint, trying to envision the animal that left it behind. 

“Jesus fucking christ,” Inuyasha grumbled above them. Kagome looked up apologetically, but Inuyasha continued his rant, preventing her from apologizing again.

“Just hurry the fuck up and pump your damn water,” he said, stepping over the print.

“Wait, wait, wait!” Miroku exclaimed, “Let me get a picture first!”

“Kagome already took a damned picture.”

Inuyasha was completely ignored, with the rest of the party gathered around comparing the size of their hands to the large, wide print. The tracks were fresh, with perfectly outlined toes, each tipped with long, pointed claws. It was humbling, to see the evidence of such a large, majestic, and dangerous creature pressed heavily into the same earth they currently stood on. Inuyasha rolled his eyes over their enthusiasm, stomping a short distance away to sit down on a convenient rock. Kagome didn’t let him mope for very long.

“Have you ever seen a bear in real life? Have you ever gotten close to one?”

Glancing up into her beaming face was a mistake, he realized, as he struggled to cling to his sulky mood. There was something bafflingly contagious about her excitement and he had a very visceral reaction to it, like her smile could reach inside him and draw him out. He tried to keep his face straight, despite the muted spark of humor lighting his eyes when he answered her.

“Yeah,” he said, “And it wasn’t anything to get all excited about.”

“Was it scary?”

Grunt. 

“Did you get close?”

Grunt. 

Kagome threw her hands up in the air. 

“You’re impossible!”

Returning to her more amiable companions, she took up the discarded pump and began refilling their empty bottles from the clear, sparkling mountain water. Sango wandered over, her interest in the bear print satisfied. She dug out a bag of candied peanuts and held it up to Kagome. 

“No thanks,” Kagome said, shaking her head. They all rested in silence, the trickling cheerful music of the mountain stream matched with the faint squeak of the water filter, chirping with each pump Kagome made. Miroku finally looked up from the print, at the surrounding bushes that leaned in heavily around them and glanced at Inuyasha. 

“Hey, why don’t we walk in the stream for a while? It’ll be way easier than fighting our way back up the bank.”

All eyes shifted to their guide, slouched grumpily on his rock. There was a tenuous pause before Inuyasha glanced downstream and shrugged, and grunted. 

“Why yes, Miroku, that’s a fantastic idea!” Despite her best attempts, Kagome couldn’t quite bring her pitch down to his level which resulted in a comical impression of the grumpy mountain hermit.

Snort. 

Sango giggled and Miroku winked at Kagome. 

“Why thank you, Inuyasha,” he said to Kagome, “How very nice of you to say.”

“You’re welcome, Miroku!” Kagome answered, her voice cracking briefly as she tried to sustain her lower register, “You know I love you, man!”

Sango snorted on a peanut, chortling into her hand. Inuyasha tried to give Kagome a stink eye, caught off guard when she flashed a smile at him despite the ugly look he was giving her. 

Miroku managed to hold his composure for a bit longer. “Aw gee,” he said, “Thanks roomie!”

Inuyasha rolled his eyes, groaning into his hand. Kagome broke out into giggles and under the guise of bemoaning his ill-fated luck to be stuck with a bunch of morons, Inuyasha allowed the brightness of her laughter to bring a quirk of a smile to his lips. They eventually packed up the water pumps and hauled their packs back up onto their shoulders.

“Ugh!” Kagome exclaimed, “That feels so icky!”

Sango was likewise, squirming in her straps. The cold feel of sweat returning to cling to their shoulders and backs as their backpacks pressed their sweat drenched clothing against their skin was a discomfort that had them all grimacing to each other. 

“Get a move on,” Inuyasha ordered, fed up with their chatter.

Miroku and Sango each made faces as they stepped into the snowmelt stream but there was no power on earth that could have suppressed Kagome’s squeal as she found just how cold freezing could feel.

“Holy  _ FUCK _ !”

Inuyasha stared at her wide eyed while Sango and Miroku burst out laughing.

“Haven’t heard you swear like that in a while,” she said in between her chuckles. 

“It’s  _ fucking _ cold!” Kagome yelled, gasping as she tried to convince her feet to move forward, or backward, and at least do  _ something _ .

“Will you believe me if I said you’ll get used to it?”

“I’d rather get eaten by a tree!”

Kagome’s knuckles were white as she clung to the hiking pole with both hands. It took a several frozen seconds for her to get control of her breathing and for her nerves to regain control of her feet. She glanced behind her and took a moment to glare at the broad, toothy smile on Inuyasha’s face. It was a moment that only spanned the briefest of seconds before he seemed to realize uncharacteristic open grin and tried to reel it in. He couldn’t extinguish the obvious amusement in his eyes, however, and for once, it was her turn to glower at him.

“Stuff it!” She grumbled before turning to catch up with Sango and Miroku. There was a sparkle of laughter in his deep, hazel eyes and the smile softened his angles. Internally, she felt a flush as her mind recalled the visage.  _ ‘Wow…,’ _ was all she could think.

And then she looked up to fully appreciate the magical pathway the narrow mountain stream created as it cut its way through the dense foliage said ‘wow’ again, this time aloud for all to hear.

“Yeah,” Sango called over her shoulder, “We should have dropped to the river earlier! This is breathtaking.”

It sure was. So much so that Kagome forgot the painfully frigid waters and her senses were awash with awe and wonder. The sun cast its rays over the rippling, tumbling water and the shadows from the trees overhead created a dappled, ever changing mosaic of light. In a kaleidoscope of color, with reds and blues and greys, the rocks beneath the water winked and shifted in the refracting light. And the sunlight that filtered through the trees and bushes was a warm golden hue punctuated by the green of the trees. It was a gateway to paradise and Kagome’s eyes were round as she struggled to commit it to memory.

She hadn’t even noticed she’d stopped moving until Inuyasha stepped into her peripheral vision. Jumping, she smiled an apology, too startled to see the quick play of emotions cross his face.

“Sorry!” She said, “Guess I’m really slowing us down.”

Inuyasha hadn’t been thinking of their pace. For a tiny fraction of a second, her smooth, wonderstruck expression brought to mind the ghost of Kikyou to his thoughts and it was several blinks before he was again able to look at her and see Kagome. Just Kagome. Her wide eyed wonder as she took in the view, her slack jaw open ajar with a hint of a smile. And then, he found it difficult to recall just what was it that reminded him of the phantom from his past. There was so much more expression on her face than ever was on Kikyou’s. She was positively beaming and it rekindled something deep down inside him. He was beginning to remember why he’d run away to this beautiful land.

“Keh,” he said, close to a mutter, “We’re not really that behind.”

She frowned suspiciously at his inconsistency, as though she could see through his facade but said nothing, and turned to continue onward downstream. He kept pace with her, watching her learn the art of river walking, each step a learning experience as her feet sought a firm purchase on the smooth, slippery rocks. It was far easier though, as the shallow, little river encouraged them onward with its current. A shadow had passed over his thoughts when Kikyou reared up temporarily in his mind but it was a cloud that passed over him quickly, led away to happier, simpler things by a presence beside him that radiated a strange kind of infectious joy. The day was warm and, as they moved, the cool river was a relief. And every so often, Inuyasha would pause and glance around, taking in the green archway of branches overhead, or spying the twinkle of rusty red below, with Kagome’s gaze guiding his. Ahead, Miroku was educating Sango about this or that, he didn’t particularly care. Instead, he followed Kagome’s pace, living in the moment and finding something new to observe at each time she paused to look around. He felt himself discovering this land all over again.

… 

The stream joined with other streams and what was once a little ankle deep creek was now up to their thighs. The water laughed and giggled merrily as it tumbled past them, eager on its journey to the sea. The foliage was beginning to open up, creating less of a magical protected trail and providing glimpses of the sweeping views up the bold mountain slopes. But now the sun was dipping low and a grumble from below reminded Kagome that it was well past dinner time. Ahead of her, Miroku called out to the group.

“Want to stop at the next gravel bar? I think it’s time to eat.”

“Yes,  _ please! _ ” Sango said enthusiastically, picking up her pace at the promise of food. Kagome’s eyes lit up and she, too, eagerly sloshed forward. They didn’t need to trek very far. Every bend in the river piled up a collection of smoothed rocks and driftwood. Inuyasha began to press towards the front, stepping up onto the next gravel bar and dropping his pack. The rest followed in short order, grunting and groaning as they gratefully shed the heavy backpacks with a clatter onto the rocks. While they stretched their tired backs, Inuyasha kept busy. He already had his stove out, and was pumping the pressurized fuel bottle before lighting it. With practiced ease, he had the stove operating in seconds, and then reached absently for his pack to pull out his pot. Very soon, he had his water coming up to temperature and glanced at the rest to see how they’d progressed.

Very little, it turned out. 

“I never get this working on the first try…,” Miroku grumbled to himself. Sango and Kagome were rummaging around in their packs while Miroku fumbled with the metal feet and coils of the little camping stove. Eventually, he glanced up hopefully at Inuyasha’s skeptical face.

“Hey roomie,” Miroku said, “Ol’buddy, ol’pal…”

“Figure it out yourself!”

With a pout, Miroku spent several more minutes with the little contraption while Inuyasha watched, the only expression on his face was just the slightest hint of amusement in his eyes. The lid on Inuyasha’s pot wobbled and he glanced down to see the steady gush of steam emerging from its edges. Carefully, with a small set of folding pliers, he lifted the metal lid to find the water at a rolling boil. Without spilling a drop, Inuyasha tipped the heated water into his foil-lined pouch and seal the dehydrated meal to cook. By now, both girls had their three dinner pouches ready and were growing visibly impatient while Miroku struggled with the stove. Wordlessly, Inuyasha smirked to himself and poured more water into his pot and pumped the fuel bottle to raise the flame of his stove. Looking up, he caught Sango watching him and now she stood, wordlessly handing over hers and Miroku’s pouches, before snagging Inuyasha’s now empty water bottle.

“I’ll go pump more water,” she said to no one in particular.

Meanwhile, Kagome crouched down beside Miroku. She watched him for several minutes, eyeing him flip the contraption over in frustration, and glancing over at Inuyasha’s functioning one. Eventually, she felt she had enough of an idea to have a go herself.

“Can I try?”

“Yes!” Miroku eagerly relieved his task onto her, holding out his now soot covered hands with a grimace. “This stuff stays on  _ forever! _ ” he complained.

Miroku made his way to Sango at the edge of the gravel bar to scrub off the fine black dust that settled into the lines and wrinkles in his hands while Kagome flipped around the little stove. She turned it over once to orient herself, carefully noting how the legs were stored bunched together. 

“Doesn’t look  _ too _ complicated…,” she muttered to herself. Inuyasha observed her with interest, her concentrated look was endearing, her teeth biting a corner of her lower lip. The stove squeaked as she moved its parts until eventually, the three little legs were in place and now she moved on the fuel bottle. It took a couple tries and a little bit of spilled kerosene before she had the brass supply tube correctly locked into place. By the time Miroku returned with somewhat cleaner hands, Kagome was ready to light.

“How’d you figure it out so fast?” Miroku asked her with just a hint of exasperated annoyance.

“She’s not an idiot like you,” Inuyasha said. Kagome glanced up and met his eyes, a smile lighting up her face and she winked, before turning to Miroku and shrugging.

“I just like puzzles,” she said, nonchalantly, “Now, how do I get this thing going?”

“Pump the bottle a bit, then let some fuel into that cup in the bottom.” Inuyasha moved beside her to point out the little priming cup. Sango was coming back with full bottles and she and Miroku eyed each other, each suppressing an amused smirk over the grouchy Inuyasha patiently explaining the stove while Kagome frowned in concentration.

“Isn’t it supposed to burn from up here?” She asked, pointing to the burner head a little higher up.

“You gotta heat up the coils first,” Inuyasha explained, handing her his lighter, “That’s how it turns into gas.”

Kagome raised a confused eyebrow, trying to follow his explanation, but obediently allowed some fuel to pool up in the little dish at the bottom of the stove. Lighting it, she yelped when a burst a yellow flame rose up to lick at her fingers. 

He placed an unconscious hand on her shoulder, bracing it while the fuel warmed up into gas. Now he urged her to light the top and with a pop, they had a flame they could cook on.

“Huh,” she said, “Can’t decide it that’s overly complicated or really clever.”

“Best lightweight stove,” Inuyasha said, “easy to fix, too.”

Kagome smiled at him and they held gazes for a moment, before her eyes flicked toward the other pair in their party and then her expression turned quizzical.

“What?” She asked. Inuyasha turned as well, his open expression instantly souring to see the bright eyed amusement in Miroku’s face. Miroku instantly schooled his expression to one of innocence.

“Nothing, nothing,” he said, “Just glad to know we won’t starve tonight.”

With two stoves, enough water was soon boiling to prepare their dinner with some extra for tea. Soon all four pouches were rehydrating and Miroku, Sango, and Kagome were all eagerly salivating, waiting for dinner. Inuyasha was not idle, rummaging around the gravel bar, selecting twigs and branches from the washed up dead trees. When he snapped a sizable limb loudly enough to make Kagome jump, she turned to him with a quizzical expression.

“What are you doing? Are we having a fire here?”

“Yah,” he said, like it was obvious, “Gotta burn the trash.”

“Oh…,” she glanced around, “Should I help?”

Grunt.

“Dude!” Kagome exclaimed, “Use your words! I know you have them!”

Despite the pure exasperation in her tone, she stood to help scrounge for firewood, taking a hint from his actions and selecting the dried, smooth branches that had been worn down by the current. Inuyasha snorted at her outburst and to all appearances proceeded to ignore her whilst he continued his hunt. But he was watching her, glancing from the corner of his eye. He found there was something catching about her movement, as she shuffled around testing this branch or tugging that one. She moved like a bear cub experiencing her first arctic summer, merrily throwing her weight onto a particularly strong branch until it broke with a sharp snap, dry leaves and bark spraying into the air. Kagome yelped and giggled and then moved on to seek out the next branch. There was a sort of serenity that came over her face as she worked. He’d noticed the relaxed, yet intent expression while they were hiking, and again while she puzzled over Miroku’s stove. And here again, as she cast her brown eyes around, searching for one last branch to pile into her loaded arms. She possessed a focus that was enthralling, and he had to remind himself to look disinterested.

“That’s enough,” he said, tossing down his own bundle beside Miroku, clattering against each other and bits of dust and bark flew up and made his so-called friend sneeze.

“Thanks, Inuyasha,” Miroku said, his voice stuffy and peeved, “Real nice.”

Grunt.

“Aw, I’m sorry man,” Kagome’s voice cut through the quiet, mocking in her mimicry of his tone and timber, “I can be a real idiot sometimes.”

If it were possible to express annoyance in a grunt, Inuyasha achieved it. Sango giggled, scooting over to snap and break off the tiniest twigs from their collection of firewood and arranging them together before snagging Inuyasha’s lighter and setting them aflame. With some careful tending, Sango soon had the fire burning and Kagome sank down to sit beside it with a long, sedate sigh.

“Nothing like a fire,” she said, her eyes half closed as she stared at the dancing, yellow light. They distributed the cooked pouches and for several minutes, there was only the trickling sounds of the nearby stream and whisper of the wind in the trees. The fire crackled and popped and cast its orange light across their faces, radiating and warm and Kagome leaned in close. The flit and flicker of the flames reflected in her deep brown eyes and Inuyasha found himself inexplicably drawn to it, like a moth. With the sunlight slanting in the early evening, insect life began to rise. Sango flinched, spotting a looming mosquito dip in low near her face and she immediately turned to her pack, rummaging for the deet she kept readily accessible. 

“Oh no you don’t, oh no you dont!” she muttered to herself while Kagome grinned at her, heartily amused. They always joked that Sango had sweeter blood and Kagome was grateful to be less of an attractant to the blood sucking insects. That didn’t make her immune though, and she resolved to be vigilant of the hovering black spots, grateful the smoke and heat of their fire helped combat the mosquitoes.

“Did you know,” Miroku said while pulling out his own bottle of repellent, “That a caribou can lose over four  _ pounds _ of blood to mosquitoes in a year?”

“Yech!” Kagome and Sango both grimaced, squirming at the thought. Sango sprayed several more fragrant squirts of repellent onto her legs and arms for good measure.

“I guess I would expect no less from Alaska’s state bird…,” Kagome said, trying to joke despite the horrified expression still adorning her face. Miroku laughed obligingly.

“Let’s hope we stay lucky,” he said, “Looks like they’re not all that bad here.”

“It’ll only get worse,” a decidedly pessimistic voice spoke up from beside her. Heads turned to Inuyasha, who was scraping the last bits of rice from inside his pouch. 

“On the lower river,” he continued bluntly, “Clouds of them.”

“So he  _ does _ speak!” Kagome joked, cynical amazement reflected in the tone of her voice. Inuyasha shrugged, crumbling the foiled lined plastic. Miroku, meanwhile, gave Inuyasha shove.

“Only to be the harbinger of bad news,” he said, tone mocking. Inuyasha glared at Miroku before tossing his completed pouch into the fire. The flames glowed green and purple as it ate up the plastic and the last few traces of the freeze-dried meal sizzled and popped in the heat. Sango clearly did not react well to Inuyasha’s statement and groaned.

“I’m going to be eaten alive…” she grumbled to herself, returning to her meal. Miroku chuckled and patted her thigh, reminding her of the several repellent options they’d packed. She only sighed, waving a paranoid hand around her face. They all soon emptied their little pouches and began to prepare to trek again. The sun was low and toyed with the horizon and they were sluggish with their full bellies. The river felt especially frigid after dousing their hot little fire and Kagome bit her lip to keep from verbally complaining.

They hadn’t hiked for very long before Inuyasha’s voice sounded from up ahead.

“We’re campin’ here.”

Kagome looked up and glanced around the open space. Keeping her eyes on her feet had lead her to forfeit view of the changing landscape and she took a moment to take in the wide, gradual valley they had sauntered onto. A few lazy clouds were floating lethargically overhead and caught the slanted sun rays to dazzle them with pink and purple highlights. Inuyasha was climbing onto a wide gravel bar and trudging beyond, onto the soft, grassy land behind and Kagome inhaled deeply, giving herself a moment to enjoy the wet green smell of the lush valley, before urging her legs forward to catch up. Sango beside her took a breath and let her head fall back.

“Ugh,” she groaned, “Finally.”

It had been a full day of flying and walking. Yet, surprisingly, Kagome didn’t feel tired. She glanced at her watch, astonished to find that it was already nearly midnight, and frowned up at the bright golden sun teasing the mountain ridge. Without direct sunlight, the cold mountain air fell upon them and created goosebumps across their skin. Kagome eagerly trudged up the bank to join Inuyasha on the little clearing. He’d dumped his pack and was rummaging into its depths, pulling out all manners of pouches and containers. 

“We’ll put the bear bins over there,” he said pointing, hoisting his blue plastic can under an arm. Kagome mimicked his actions, gratefully pulling out her own stuffed bin. With very little ceremony, Inuyasha reach out to her and pulled her bear can under his other arm and began sauntering away in the direction he’d pointed out. Kagome stared after him, initially surprised by the unrequested help but her gaze swiftly focused on the smooth gate as he moved away and her expression turned appreciative. A presence startled her from behind and she turned to see Miroku bearing two plastic bins of his own. Kagome ducked her head, embarrassed to be caught ogling but Miroku only winked at her.

As Miroku joined Inuyasha with the bins, Kagome turned to Sango, copying her more experienced friend and soon had her tent fabric laid out and ready to assemble. The clickety clack of the thin aluminum poles and the ever present tumble of creekwater was their background soundtrack.

“So what do you think of your first day in the backcountry?” Sango asked Kagome. In the distance, Inuyasha subtly angled his head to point an ear in the girls’ direction.

“Surprisingly peaceful,” Kagome said thoughtfully, straightening as she mentally reviewed the day. “It feels bizarrely ordinary, like the fact we’re hundreds of miles from civilization hasn’t really hit me yet.”

Sango smiled. “Yeah,” she responded, “You can almost forget that you’re in one of the most remote places you can possibly be.”

Kagome made a sound of agreement, then said with a smile, “I could definitely do with a little less bushwhacking though.”

Sango laughed at this. “I do miss real trails with cleared bushes!”

The girls giggled together, continuing the task of setting up their tents while the boys trudged back. Miroku was again teasing Inuyasha.

“So, I couldn’t help but notice you helping Kagome out,” he started leadingly.

Silence.

“Sango says she’s single right now…”

Inuyasha tilted his head toward Miroku, trying to cover the genuine interest in his eyes with a death glare.

“I’m impressed, by the way,” Miroku said, keeping his voice low as they came closer to the campsite, “You guys already holding hands on the plane! I didn’t think you’d move so fast!”

Inuyasha tried to suppress his annoyed groan, settling instead of picking up his speed.

“It’s such a relief, you know,” Miroku continued, this time allowing his voice to get louder, “I was afraid you’d be resorting to moose and caribou out here in the middle of nowhe- oof!”

“You haven’t changed one fucking bit, have you!” Inuyasha growled, his hand still fisted as he stomped back to the girls. Miroku was chuckling despite rubbing his sore side where Inuyasha had made his annoyance known. He still couldn’t resist one final jibe as they returned to their campsite.

“Or maybe you're more into bears? Like Tormund?”

“Who the fuck is Tormund?”

Sango gave Miroku a look before rolling her eyes and shaking her head.

“Let’s have another fire?” she asked.

By now, the girls had both tents erected and so the trio set off to hunt for wood. Their voices began to dissipate into the distance and Inuyasha heaved a relieved sigh before slinging his pack back up onto his shoulders. Aside from Miroku’s inanely aggravating teasing, it had been a surprisingly pleasant day, but the human company was still wearing on him and he trudged a small distance away from the pair of tents before selecting a small, flat, dry patch of earth for his own sleeping area. It wasn’t the solitude he was used to, but it was something, and the rest of the group seemed to have the sense to understand his deliberate choice to refrain from joining their circle around the fire. His sleeping necessities were simple, nothing more than a small tarp staked down over his hiking poles. The mossy, untrampled grasses were a soft enough mattress and the fresh, living scent of the earth was like an embrace and he found himself drifting to the sound of  _ her _ laughter as it crossed the distance between them. 

All in all, not bad. 

* * *

A/N: So… the gang are gonna all be out of character in this story i think… sorry...

Also…. not sure if there are any hardcore hikers in the fandom reading this… but I’m definitely not one. I’m drawing from my own experience here though, so sorry if I have the characters using equipment that a true extreme backpacker would never use. If anyone’s curious, the gang is using a Whisperlite Stove by MSR. We use it a lot on our longer trips when we’re trying to be as light as possible since it’s teeny tiny. I know a lot of the more extreme ultralight folks will use little converted beercan stoves with denatured alcohol but since I don’t have any experience with it, I gave them something I’ve actually used. It’s not that hard to use, i just have a bad habit of making Miroku the butt of all my jokes...


	5. Wild lives

#  **The Call**

~ Kitty

**Chapter 4: Wild lives**

… 

_ “An eagle soaring above a sheer cliff, where I suppose its nest is, makes another striking show of life, and helps to bring to mind the other people of the so-called solitude—deer in the forest caring for their young; the strong, well-clad, well-fed bears; the lively throng of squirrels; the blessed birds, great and small, stirring and sweetening the groves; and the clouds of happy insects filling the sky with joyous hum as part and parcel of the down-pouring sunshine.”  _

_ ― John Muir, My First Summer in the Sierra _

* * *

The branches they dredged out from the river were damp and it took longer to start this second fire. After several false starts, Sango finally managed to coax the flame into a self-sustaining fire. Miroku had a small collection little metal mugs at his feet and he was pouring a healthy portion of amber colored whiskey in to each. Kagome lounged beside Sango, using her foam sleeping pad for a yoga mat and gingerly stretching out her tired legs.

“It’s so bizarre!” She exclaimed, “It’s almost one and the sky’s still so bright!”

“Yeah, feels like it’s only five or six,” Sango said in agreement.

“I don’t even feel tired!”

Miroku gave her a disbelieving look. “Not even your legs?” He asked, slightly incredulous.

Kagome rolled her eyes, conceding. “Like, I’m not mentally tired,” she clarified, “I don’t feel sleepy at all.”

Legs stretched and tended to, Kagome settled down comfortably on the mat, pulling a small pouch onto her lap and pulled out a small black notebook. Sango glanced over curiously.

“You still painting these days?” She asked her friend.

Kagome shrugged, flipping to an empty page and pulling out a pen. ”Not much,” she answered, “I brought my watercolors for this trip though.”

“You gonna be able to keep them dry?” Sango asked, “We’re very likely going to flip several times when we get on the pack rafts…”

Again, the raven haired girl shrugged. “If they get wet, then they get wet.”

“That’s the spirit,” Miroku piped up, handing out the whiskey and taking a seat beside Sango. He raised his cup above the fire.

“To surviving our first day,” he said. There was a chorus of cheers and then he turned toward the tents. “And to our grumpy guide!” He said loudly.

A very faint grunt could be heard in the distance and Kagome giggled, shaking her head. The whiskey burned on the way down but it was bracing and she took another sip before sighing. 

“So, how do you know each other again?” She asked, genuinely curious, “You guys were roommates in college right?”

Sango snorted on a laugh while Miroku answered.

“Yep, four straight years if you can believe it.”

“I… can’t believe that...,” Kagome said, laughing and shaking her head, “Voluntarily?”

“You guys didn’t start sophomore year as roommates though,” Sango cut in. Miroku scratched his head recalling.

“Yeah,” he said thoughtfully, “We both went with the lottery system and had new roommates that year.”

Kagome scooted forward, her journal forgotten. She tossed a new bough onto the fire and leaned in curiously. “So, what happened then?”

“They both applied for new ones,” Sango said, a smile growing wide on her face, “These two were apparently insufferable to everyone but each other.”

Kagome raised an eyebrow, sipping at her mug. “Inuyasha I can already guess,” she said, turning to Miroku, “What did  _ you _ do to your roommate?”

Miroku jerked back as though wounded, pressing a hand to his chest. “Kagome!” he exclaimed, “You insinuate that it was my fault that my roommate wanted out?”

Kagome laughed. “Yup.”

At this point, Sango piped in. “You got that pudgy guy, Hachie… something?”

Miroku sighed, shaking his head. “Don’t know why he wanted to move out. I thought we got along really well.”

“You kept hitting on any and every girl he brought around.”

“Eh,” Miroku said carelessly, “Share and be shared.”

Kagome was giggling into her mug while Sango fixed her fiance with a serious stare. “Not anymore,” she said, her voice clipped and deathly serious.

Miroku nervously huffed a few chuckles. “Yeah, honey,” he said, “Of course…”

Kagome glanced toward their collection of tents, where a distant little tarp was all she could see of Inuyasha and asked with a sparkle of curiosity in her eyes.

“So, what’s the story with Inuyasha?” she asked, “I guess that his roommate couldn’t stand his grouchiness?”

Sango frowned, thinking back to their college days. “Actually,” she said, “I think it was Inuyasha who made the new roommate request. Something about being fed up with Jack’s advances or something.”

At this, Miroku choked on his whiskey, coughing and laughing until tears sprung to his eyes. “Jack! Oh my god, Jack,” he said, “I’m surprised Inuyasha didn’t murder that guy.”

Curiosity well and truly piqued, Kagome leaned closer with a gleam in her eyes. “Why’s that?” she asked.

Sango also had a wide smile of her own and she smirked. “Jack was gay. Very, very, gay. And he fell violently head over heels for Inuyasha.”

Kagome brought a hand to her mouth to keep from guffawing into her drink. A discomforting burning sensation blasted up to her eyes as the alcohol vapors invaded her nose. She was coughing for several minutes, Sango sympathetically patting her back while laughing. The conversation turned to different topics and eventually they all decided it was much too late to be staying up beside the fire. They did their best to stay quiet as they returned to the tents although Kagome was completely certain Inuyasha still lay awake and she felt extremely self conscious as she shuffled around in her tent. How he could sleep like that, partially exposed and open to attack from every mosquito in the vicinity, was a mystery to her. But the physical exertion of the day caught up to her quickly she was almost instantly enveloped by the oblivion of sleep as soon as she closed her eyes.

…

A loud, deafening crack echoed through the valley and three slumbering campers were awakened in a state of disoriented panic, practically wetting themselves as they tumbled out of their tents. 

“Rise and shine, lazy asses!”

The shot was ringing in her head, she could virtually feel her skull vibrating with aftershocks and she groggily fell out of her tent as her feet snagged on the fly tiedown straps. Luckily, the ground was soft and forgiving just outside her door. Miroku and Sango’s tent was a thrashing mess of limbs and agitated voices, toppling over as the occupants were rudely startled awake. Kagome, with her hair sticking out at odd angles, squinted into the overbright daylight in the general direction she believed her auditory assailant to be in and managed a hoarse grumble.

“You are so dead,” she mumbled, “I’m gonna kill you today.”

“Keh, go for it,” he dared her, grinning openly at her disheveled, blotchy appearance. As much as she wished to take him up on his invitation, Kagome could only groan as she tumbled out the rest of the way from her tent. 

“What time is it?” She managed to ask.

“Time to get up,” Inuyasha said simply, wasting no time and already pouring out a hot mug of coffee. The steam drifted over the campsite and it helped draw Kagome up and out and she bumbled her way to the cold, black campfire, a hand outstretched.

“Make yer own,” he grumbled, greedily taking a long draft from his mug. Kagome pouted, her eyes still not quite adjusting to the golden sunlight and she wrinkled her nose at him.

“But sharing is caring…,” she whined, resigning herself her own bear bin to dig out a portion of the wakefulness elixir. The opening mechanism required far more dexterity than Kagome was capable of so early in the morning, and after watching her for several minutes, Inuyasha rolled his eyes, sighed, and handed her his mug.

“Hold this,” he said, pulling her bin in front of himself and finangling the stubborn lid off. Kagome held the hot mug under her face, reveling in the rich, dark scent and enjoying its warmth in the chilly morning air. 

“Here,” he said, handing over the now open bin and reclaiming his mug. She was clearly still in a state between sleep and fully awake and he took advantage of the moment to take in her drowsy expression. No matter what the mood or context, he realized, there was always a bit a sunniness in her face, something joyful that shined behind her eyes. Perhaps that was why his subconscious was beginning to lean towards her, her presence was somehow soothing. With her hands free again, she rummaged through the bin, sifting through the tightly packed collection of freeze dried pouches and miscellaneous snacks. By the time she managed to locate her instant coffee, Inuyasha had water boiling for her and she was soon contentedly sipping from her own steaming mug. Sango and Miroku eventually joined them in matching masks of morning grumpiness.

“Did you  _ have _ to use your gun to wake us up?” Miroku asked.

Grunt.

“Next time just bless us with the sound of your voice?”

Grunt.

Kagome chuckled into her mug before offering Sango a sip. She knew her friend well and as predicted, the first hit of caffeine helped clear away the clouds on Sango’s face and the taller woman sighed, her shoulders relaxing as she handed the mug back.

“So,” Sango said, “Today’s more of the same?”

Grunt.

Miroku, not having the benefit of coffee, nor in any mood to humor his infuriating ex roommate, didn’t hold back his retort.

“Use your damn voice, Inuyasha!” He shouted, “Or I will surgically remove it from you!”

Grunt.

“Inuyasha!”

Miroku’s first swing was easily dodged and Inuyasha caught the second one easily. Kagome watched the proceedings with an eyebrow raised, quietly impressed that Inuyasha had drawn out physical violence from Miroku. Inuyasha seemed completely unfazed by the attack and went about cleaning up camp. Kagome was fully awake now and ready to help, grinned at him with those shining eyes.

“Just how  _ did _ you two survive each other in college?” She asked as they both carried their bear bins back to camp.

Grunt.

Kagome groaned with mock exasperation. Inuyasha glanced over at her as she maneuvered around her gear, taking down her tent and wrangling it back into its stuff sack. Gear tamed, Kagome turned her attention to her hair, sitting comfortably atop her pack and splitting the dark locks into two equally portioned halves. Once again, he found himself enraptured by the serenity in her face as her eyes drifted distantly across the landscape. Plaiting done with one half of her hair, Kagome turned her face away from him to braid the other side. Eventually, Miroku and Sango returned to the tents full up on granola bar breakfasts and coffee and with very little ceremony, camp was taken down and packs were hoisted up, and another grueling day of trekking spilled out before them.

… 

Things were an improvement from yesterday, Inuyasha decided. Kagome was once again borrowing a trekking pole, carefully picking her way through the river whenever they had to cross to the other side. Since they’d started out on the river that morning and open swaths of gravel were growing more and more common along the water’s edge, they made good time, silently huffing and sloshing for the next hour or two. The peace was punctuated here and there by Miroku or Kagome excitedly pointing out yet  _ another _ animal print, calling him over to identify this or that for them. Though they paused often, Kagome’s genuine wonder over every new thing she saw took the edge off his impatience, helping him to savor the moment, rather than focus on getting to their destination. Over the course of that single morning, there were wolf print sightings, several wide moose prints, and one very large set of bear tracks. As they moved lower and lower down the valley, Miroku turned to Inuyasha.

“Should we be shouting or making noise or something?” he asked, “The intro video said the worst thing possible is to surprise a bear out here.”

Grunt.

“Is that a yes or a no?”

Grunt.

“I’m going to fucking kill you…”

Kagome laughed, watching the interaction while Sango could only shake her head. “I get first dibs,” Kagome said, but Miroku protested.

“No,” he said, “Believe me, I think I get first dibs after suffering through four years of being his roommate.”

Snort.

“MOOSE!!!”

Kagome’s whole body was stiff as a board and her eyes were wide and stunned as she stared downriver. The alarm in her voice had instantly alerted the group that this was no drill and all heads whipped around to see the young bull moose staring calmly at them. There was a modest rack of antlers proudly displayed on the strange, elongated head, still covered with a brown, fuzzy velvet. The entire group of humans stood stock still, hardly breathing as they watched the large creature continue to gaze at them before turning toward the shore, powerful muscles rippling with each leisurely stride. Its long, slender legs moved easily through the river water and it returned gracefully to the wilderness, disappearing up the river bank and among the low brush. Silence lingered between them after the moose’s departure.

“Wow…,” Kagome sighed, “Just wow…”

“That thing was huge!” Sango said beside her, her eyes round as Kagome’s. Miroku’s reaction was one of disappointment.

“Aw man!” he exclaimed, “I completely forgot to get my camera out!”

Sango patted Miroku’s shoulder while Kagome laughed. “I don’t think I’ll need a picture to remember  _ that _ !” she said.

Inuyasha, for his part, relaxed his hold on the grip of his gun and sighed. He wouldn’t admit it, but touch of panic in Kagome’s shout had caused his heart to leap into his throat, and the thumping in his chest was only just beginning to come down. Kagome turned to him with a sheepish smile.

“Sorry…,” she said, excitement still swimming in her eyes, “I’ll try to be less jumpy.”

His body reacted on its own in response to her and his lips flashed a smile despite himself. Shaking his head, he sloshed forward downriver towards where the moose had been.

“Let’s get moving,” he said. 

When they’d arrived at the spot where the moose had been standing, another wave of awestruck murmurs erupted from Kagome and Sango.

“Look how big it’s feet were!” Kagome said, leaning over the prints.

“Look how  _ deep _ the prints are!” Sango responded, marveling alongside her friend. 

Inuyasha rolled his eyes while Miroku instructed the girls to place their feet beside the tracks as he snapped picture after picture. Finally, his patience wore out.

“Can we get a fucking move on?” he complained. Miroku waved at him absently, adjusting his camera before taking one last picture and straightening up.

“Ok, ok, angry one,” he said patronizingly. He turned to Sango and began informing her about the mating rituals of the creature they’d just seen, while Sango rolled her eyes, but humored him as they began to move forward. Inuyasha grumbled as Miroku shoved past him, but he let him pass, lingering until Kagome stepped up and eyed him curiously. He didn’t make eye contact, but started walking alongside her. It wasn’t even a conscious decision, simply that her presence spoke to something inside him and he naturally gravitated towards the thing that made him feel at ease. 

… 

As they continued to descend down the valley, a chorus of birdsong joined the rushing water and rustling foliage and Kagome stopped often to look around, trying to catch a glimpse. One clear throated bird stood out among the rest, taunting her with a melodic three note song. When Kagome stopped once more to pinpoint its location, Inuyasha sighed and indicated toward a thicket of trees.

“Probably over there,” he said, “It’s a white-crowned sparrow.”

“It's got such a distinctive call,” Kagome mused, moving again. Inuyasha just shrugged.

“Sparrows are a dime a dozen out here,” he said.

Kagome made a sound of acknowledgement and continued on. Only a short distance later, she stopped short again.

“The creek is orange!” she said, perplexed. Inuyasha glanced over in the direction she was staring, a little feeder stream pouring into the river they were on.

“Iron in the mountains,” he posited, shrugging again, “Could also be sulfur.”

“Or both…,” Kagome said, her expression thoughtful as her eyes absorbed as many details as they could detect. Even more than the day before, Inuyasha found himself pulled into Kagome’s pace, glad the rushing water drowned out Miroku’s unceasing exposition from up ahead of them. He seriously couldn’t fathom how Sango put up with the man. As they progressed, Inuyasha found himself pointing things out to Kagome, enjoying her reaction and admiration as he indicated toward useful plants or features in the mountain. There was an intimacy there that he hadn’t felt in years. The land around them had left a deep imprint inside his core in the last five years he’d lived out here and sharing it with her felt like he was sharing a piece of himself. Her open excitement and acceptance of each new bit of information felt as though she was slowly embracing more and more of him as they hiked. This feeling of connection, of bonding, with another person was deeply profound for him and somehow unsettling in a way that made him excited and restless. While he could not give it shape or form, there was something budding inside him that had been buried for a long time and Kagome drew it out like springtime defeating the long sleep of winter. 

As they carried on, the river grew deeper, and finally, they arrived at the end of gravel bar and stared at the deep, fast paced current that flowed between them and the next open bank.

“Miroku, let me see the map again,” Sango said, turning to Miroku’s pack to pull out the laminated paper. Unfolding it, she and Miroku oriented themselves with the terrain and landmarks while Kagome huffed a sigh and looked around, grateful for the break. After Miroku turned the map over several times, Inuyasha finally came up to the pair.

“That’s north,” he said, pointing, “That’s this, and that’s this.”

Sango frowned as she shifted the map to align with Inuyasha’s indications while Miroku kept glancing between the paper and the nearby peaks.

“Are you sure,” he asked Inuyasha, “I could have sworn we were much further down river.”

“We’re not, dumbass.”

“So, should we cut up the side now?” It had been in the plans to travel up a side creek and cross over a mountain pass before descending down to meet up with a supply drop. But they were still a fair distance away from the juncture and it was getting harder to continue trekking in the river. Any deeper, and Sango was sure Kagome would be swept away.

“I was hoping to get down to that flatter area before cutting to the Wolverine Creek,” Sango said, pointing out where the plain seemed to level out. She glanced up the bank they currently stood beside and grimaced. It was steep, and thick with trees.

By this point, Kagome had taken a refreshing swig of water, dabbed her sweaty forehead with bandana she’d dipped in the icy cold river, and had come up behind them to glance at the map, the upcoming river, and quickly made a decision for them all.

“I wanna avoid freezing my crotch,” she said bluntly, “My vote is to cut over to the creek now.”

Decision made, Inuyasha grunted, and started off up the hill, Kagome marching after him. Miroku looked up at the slope and groaned, he did not fancy another stretch of bushwhacking in the scratchy, tangled alders. Sango took Kagome’s lead and began moving without complaint. Very soon, they could hear nothing but the sound of their own heavy panting, punctuated by snapping twigs and the rustling of branches as they pressed through the dense forest. Without the cold river to help cool them during the exercise, sweat poured down their faces in little rivers by the time they each burst through one last thicket and into an open meadow, sparsely dotted with tall spruce trees.

“Oh my god, finally!” Kagome wheezed, stumbling out of the trees and plopping herself down beside Inuyasha who was calmly exchanging his water shoes for a sturdy pair of boots. Sango and Miroku were both in very similar states as they emerged, bracing each other as they caught their breath. Laces tied, Inuyasha straightened and observed his companions with obvious amusement.

“Break, I need a break,” Miroku begged, slipping out of his pack and letting it fall heavily to the ground. Kagome laughed at Sango, who staggered over to her and rested her hands on both of Kagome’s shoulders, leaning heavily on the seated girl. 

“How ya feelin’?” Kagome asked, patting Sango’s hand.

“Like we’re doing that Spartan thing all over again…,” Sango said, slowly catching her breath, “I regret not working out enough for this…”

Kagome laughed again, shrugging to dislodge her friend while Sango groaned and moved to sit down as well. The clearing was a cheery, sunny place, where the bushes were knee height and manageable. They all lounged on the bed of soft mosses and grasses for several minutes, rubbing sore and scratched up shins as they switched to more comfortable land footwear.

“Yikes,” Sango said, glancing over at Kagome’s legs, “You have a nasty one there.”

Kagome grimaced, looking down at the angry red welt.

“Yeah, I think the tree won that one.”

There was chuckling and groaning and eventually, after the sun dried their sweaty bangs to their faces, Inuyasha decided they’d had enough of rest and stood to press on. Kagome and Sango managed to scrambled to there feet but Miroku required a special kind of encouragement.

“Get your ass up, Miroku!” Inuyasha demanded, giving Miroku’s pack several half hearted nudges with his booted foot. When that didn’t work, Inuyasha moved on to Miroku’s rear end.

“Yow!” Miroku exclaimed, “Alright already! I’m up.”

At such a higher elevation from the water below, the land was firmer and drier and movement was far easier. They briefly traversed a recovering burn area, colorfully decorated with bright purple blossoms that Miroku identified as fireweed. The sun had no trouble piercing the barren branches overhead and so another sheen of sweat began to form and drip from their faces before Inuyasha paused, reaching a cliff and turned to wait for the others to catch up. 

“What now?” Miroku asked, coming up behind him and looking down at the slender river below. Wordlessly, Inuyasha just motioned down the steep side and Miroku groaned. And then Sango and Kagome arrived and both girls surveyed the view, Kagome’s eyes lighting up with delight.

“That’s beautiful!” she said, “It’s almost a canyon!”

The opposing cliffside was bare rock and hung over the rushing water majestically, catching the reflected light from the river below. There was a deep pool where the water eddied and spun in little rippling circles and Inuyasha immediately decided that this would be their lunch spot, and that he would take a dip. The scrambling descent down the crumbling slope was tricky and Kagome found herself very far behind, emerging from the brambles with leaves and dirt smudged into her face and hair. But the scene that greeted her eyes immediately removed her thoughts from her discomfort and she stood for several seconds, dumbstruck and mouth ajar.

Water glistened off his skin and he seemed to glow and sparkle in the sunlight. Then he dropped, plunging below the waters to emerge a short way downstream, shaking his head so his heavy, wet brain whipped around his torso and brought her attention to his abdomen, which was tight and contracted as he breathed and shook, the angular light highlighting the little streams of water racing down between the lines of his muscles. Closer by, Sango coughed, catching Kagome’s eyes and winking.

“You’re drooling” she said playfully, her eyes twinkling with mischief. Kagome snapped her jaw closed, blinking rapidly, and reached out to take a share of the firewood Sango was holding.

“Holy crap!” Kagome whispered under her breath to her friend. Sango giggled. They joined Miroku on shore who was nursing a little flame with small twigs. 

“You’re not going to take a dip?” Kagome asked Miroku. He sent her a flabbergasted look.

“Fuck no!” he said, “It’s freezing in there!”

Inuyasha was now emerging from the river, water droplets streaming off his shorts and hair. Kagome determinedly kept her face neutral and focused on finding a snack for lunch, all the while glancing at him through her lashes. Inuyasha came to them and shook himself like a dog, spraying Miroku who complained loudly.

“Oi! Watch it, dude!”

Grunt.

Miroku grumbled under his breath, vowing to get Inuyasha back for that as well as this morning’s wake up call. Inuyasha seemed unfazed by the threats and moved to grab his discarded shirt before sauntering back down to the water’s edge to rinse the sweaty, dirty garment off, his actions inspiring Kagome to do the same. 

“That’s a good idea,” she said, coming up to squat beside him. She’d taken her shoes and socks off and squealed when she stepped into the freezing water.

“How…,” she gasped, “How the hell did you manage to take a swim in  _ this _ ?”

Inuyasha smirked and shrugged, tilting his head up to glance at her, immediately captivated as she began to shed her top to reveal her own trim stomach, her modesty protected by a simple black sports bra. Her proximity prevented him from fully appreciating her form as he quickly succumbed to self-conscious embarrassment and looked away. She was preoccupied by her own bashfulness and proceeded to dunk her dirty, dusty shirt into the water, industriously scrubbing at the fabric and pretending not to have the most attractive male specimen she’d ever seen crouched right beside her. The water was refreshing, and after acclimating to the temperature, Kagome felt brave enough to scoop a few handfuls up to rinse the dirt and grim from her face. 

The stop was brief, only enough to grab a snack and rinse out sweaty clothing. Soon, they were packed up and picking their way carefully along the long gravel bar. It was only a short distance before the gravel shores came to an end and the group was faced again with the cold, fast-flowing, deep water. They stalled there briefly, no one particularly eager to plunge through the frigid waters again. Just as Kagome was about to pipe up, Inuyasha turned his head sharply, his eyes scanning the cliffs over head.

And then she heard a sharp, piercing call echoing off the rocks above.

“What’s that?” Sango asked, looking up as well. Miroku, clearly determined not to miss another photo opportunity, immediately dropped his pack began rummaging around for his camera. 

“Some kind of bird of prey…,” he muttered in response. He triumphantly located his camera and joined the others searching the skies. 

“Hawk,” Inuyasha said, “Red tailed hawk.”

He narrowed his eyes at a particular little dark spot on the cliff and absently gestured to Kagome and pointed. Kagome squinted, struggling to make out the bird and jumped when something brushed against her hand.

“Here,” Inuyasha said, holding out a pair of binoculars. 

Gratefully accepting, Kagome eagerly swung up the device to her eyes, gasping in delight when she spied a messy collection of twigs and branches supporting a grey, fluffy, clumsy fledgling only beginning to shed its down for true flight feathers. A dark shadow passed over it and the little creature tilted its head back, beak wide open as it begged for food. 

“Wow!” she exclaimed, passing the binos to Sango. She turned to Inuyasha, her face bright and excited.

“That’s so cool!”

His reactions toward her were growing softer and this time, when he smiled in response, there was a warmth she’d not seen before in his eyes. That combined with the absolute vision she’d witnessed of him earlier caused a surprising flutter in her chest that she hadn’t been prepared for. 

Inuyasha waited a minute longer for Miroku to take his pictures, before grunting and moving to cross the river. Kagome lingered a bit longer on shore, gazing up at the little speck on the cliff, then looking up further to spie the baby bird’s parents circling overhead, releasing their piercing calls as they stared down at the strange, two legged creatures below. Eventually, Miroku was satisfied with his pictures and he and Sango began to cross the river. And then it was Kagome’s turn. She took a breath to push back her apprehension of the swirling currents, and took her first step toward the opposite shore.

It was scary. Kagome’s knuckles were white as she struggled to stab the borrowed hiking pole into the cracks between smooth, slippery river stones and she had very little trust in her ability to find solid footing. The water was strong, a wave of force that pulled her downstream and there were several teetering moments when she nearly called out for help. The river was brushing her hips and her knee-length shorts clung damp and heavy to her legs. And it was cold. Bitterly cold and her breath came in short, involuntary gasps. She was so focused on ensuring her body stayed upright, she didn’t even notice a helpful presence come up beside her until he’d placed a hand at her elbow.

“You’re fine,” his gruff voice said and somehow, she instantly felt better. He stood upstream of her, bracing her and breaking the current. Between the hiking pole and his steady arms, she somehow made it to the other side in one piece, although certainly a lot wetter than she’d hoped she would be. Trembling, she smiled her thanks to her rescuer.

“River’s gonna stay pretty high for a ways,” Inuyasha said, “Let’s climb up higher on this side.”

The next two days were much the same, only dipping back down to the river in order to replenish their water bladders. Sparrows and chickadees alerted each other to their presence as they passed and the end of each day, Kagome would glance back at the valley they were slowly trudging up, marveling at the distance they’d made and how narrow the river was becoming, eventually dwindling down to a shallow, bubbling creek and then finally, they arrived at the last stretch, to climb up the high mountain pass to reach the next valley.

* * *

A/N: Not sure how much people care but i’m trying to derive all the chapter titles in this story from some famous John Muir quote or other (i.e. chapter 1 - the mountains are calling and I must go) but i’m running out of good ones… anyone have any favorite John Muir quotes they want to suggest? Specially for this chapter cause i spent hours and couldn’t find a good one… :P

Also, sorry for how rambly this story is… i don't really have a plot in mind so i’m just going with the flow on this one...


	6. Alpenglow

#  **The Call**

~ Kitty

**Chapter 5: Alpenglow**

… 

_ “How glorious a greeting the sun gives the mountains!”  _

_ ― John Muir, The Mountains of California _

* * *

The terrain had changed dramatically since they first set foot on the taiga. Gone were the waving cottongrass balls and lush foliage of the river valley. The hillside, instead, was a vibrant collection of hardy alpine flora, with bright pinks and blues and deep red droplets budding from the tough, dry soil. Their boots crunched on dry lichen, their packs caught and snapped the dry, grasping twigs. They were coming back down to the river and as they descended, once again the plant life grew dense and the ground was soft and finally, the leading figure broke through the trees surrounding the open gravel bar. There was a brief moment of serenity where the world opened up for him, with a gleaming, sparkling brook spilling over clean, colorful stones nestled in the lush embrace of the tangled alders and willows. And then the fragile peace was shattered by a smashing and thrashing behind him and Inuyasha closed his eyes, suppressing a groan, before stepping forward, only to be shoved the rest of the way when a body fell heavily against his back.

“We’re free!” Miroku exclaimed, huffing heavily against his neck. Inuyasha roughly spun around to dislodge the pest.

“Get off!” 

“Are we at the river?” a female voice gasped behind him, its owner still shrouded by shrubbery. 

“I think so,” an optimistic tone responded, “Don’t stop now!”

The pair of women burst from the bushes together, sprouting twin looks of relief to be free of the foliage. The little clearing was comfortably situated at the confluence of two small creeks, the sunlight scattering over the tumbling water. 

“This our last water stop?” Kagome asked, catching her breath and staring up at him with bright, sunny eyes.

He hoped his pause wasn’t too obvious as he blinked to break the spell of her gaze. There was just something so damned peppy about her smile whenever she looked up at him that froze his thoughts and made him momentarily dumb.

“Uh, yeah,” he managed to stammer. He pursed his lips together and pressed on into the water, making for the little island in the center sporting a large flat rock. An entirely different discomfort than his initial gut reaction to Kagome was developing inside him and it made him uneasy to share her company for too long. And despite the avoidance, he found himself hoping she wouldn’t notice. Because despite the strange sensation of being thrown off center, he found himself gravitating towards her and her cheerful upbeat presence.

By this time, thankfully, Miroku seemed to run out of things to educate them about and there was an easy silence in the atmosphere as everyone set about preparing lunch. Little meal pouches were set to rehydrating and Inuyasha reclined atop the large boulder, absorbing the warm sun. There was some scrambling off to the side and he tried to discern which of his camping companions was encroaching on his respite. Soon a shadow was cast over his face and he cracked open a squinting hazel eye. 

“What,” he demanded.

Kagome grinned, giggling at his facade of dourness that he’d tried to maintain these last several days. By now his gruff demeanor didn’t scare her and she’d grown a taste for this game of annoying him as Miroku loved to do. 

“Scoot,” she commanded, nudging his leg with her toe, “You look comfy.”

He snorted. “So you want to ruin that?” He asked.

“No,” she said, laughing, “I wanna share the rock.”

“My rock,” He said, spreading his arms and legs to cover the smooth, sloping surface. She glared down at him with narrowed eyes, the glitter in them belying that she wasn’t truly put off by the action. Instead, she gave an exaggerated harrumph and shifted to drape herself over his stomach, an action that quickly brought all activity in his brain to come to a screeching halt.

Her back was warm where it lay over his abdomen. Every muscle in his torso was locked up tight as he struggled to catch up with what was happening. Her giggle was transmitted to him through their contact and his lungs burned. 

“Ahhh,” she sighed, “That’s a nice back stretch.”

“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!” He shouted, his voice bouncing down the valley. A short distance away, Sango and Miroku both turned startled heads to the boulder, wondering what sort of cahoots what going on. 

“Sharing the rock,” Kagome answered innocently. Slowly remembering to breath, his lungs lifted and dropped her gently, her weight settling further against him.

“This is a reeeeally comfy rock,” she said teasingly. 

Inuyasha gradually regained some little morsel of composure, enough to retort, “It  _ was _ .”

She had the gall to laugh.

“Ugh, get off woman!”

Laughing harder, Kagome rolled off to the side beside him. The rock was warm against her back and she lifted her arms above her head to stretch out the sore, tired muscles.

“Sharing is caring,” she said.

Grunt.

Eventually, boots crunched on the gravel beside their rock.

“Here’s yer food,” Sango said. Kagome smiled and sat up.

“Thanks!” She said, “Wanna hop here too?”

“Don’t mind if I do!” MIroku chirped, throwing up his pouch so that in landed on Inuyasha’s chest.

“Asshole!” Inuyasha growled, shoving the hot pouch aside.

“Oh come now, Inuyasha,” Miroku said, sounding hurt, “And here I am, bringing you your food and this is how you thank me?”

“Asshole,” Inuyasha repeated, low and under his breath, swiping the pouch from Miroku and sitting cross legged to eat. Miroku scrambled up the rock, plopping down beside Inuyasha, much to his chagrin. Kagome was happily digging into her meal.

“You were so right,” she told Sango, “The pad Thai is definitely the best.”

“Especially the new recipe.”

There was a short silence filled with the sounds of spoons scraping plastic. Inuyasha finished first and escaped the overcrowded rock to start the fire. Miroku’s eyes lit up with an idea and he nudged Kagome, busily folding his empty pouch. Winking at her, he glanced over to the figure hunched over the little pile of smoking wood.

“Hey roomie!” He called, “Incoming!”

With remarkable precision, Miroku launched his plastic folded plane toward Inuyasha, the point of the little missile poking Inuyasha at the base of his braid, sticking out like a little plastic flag.

“Oi!” 

The trio on the boulder burst out laughing. Inuyasha glared at them, roughly grabbing the offending plastic and setting it ablaze. Still chuckling, Kagome slid off the rock and brought over hers and Sango’s pouches.

“Hiya,” she said.

Grunt

She only laughed and tossed the two finished pouches into the fire. Crouching beside him, she curiously watched the multicolored flames dance as it devoured the plastic, enjoying the heat radiating onto her face. He was watching her as she gazed into the fire, growing captivated as he took in the quietly shining amusement in her expression. Eventually, she sighed and stood, stretching her arms above her head and twisting this way and that.

“Nnnnngh!” She squealed, “One more hill climb to go!”

Turning to make herself useful, she headed back to their packs to pull out the water filter and top them all up for the final trek up the looming mountain pass. She glanced up at the looming uphill climb and grimaced, before groaning and moving to the waters edge. Kagome didn’t notice, but two pairs of glinting, scheming eyes observed Inuyasha’s gaze follow Kagome as she moved to the creek and the slow, begrudging smile that spread across the normally sour face. Sango and Miroku eyed each other and smirked.

…

The ascent grew quickly steeper as they followed the creek that slowly tapered down to a meager trickle. And then it disappeared altogether, present only in the rushing tumble of water below the boulders they hopped and climbed over. In between the dilapidated boulder fields, the earth was a thin, deceptive blanket of moss and lichen that hid deep, jagged crevices between the rocks that were gradually being transformed into soil. It was hard walking, where a careless move could easily cause a fall. Inuyasha fell back to keep pace with Kagome again, bracing her each time a faulty step punched through the thin moss, causing her to yelp and latch onto him. 

“You’re fine, you’re ok.”

“This sucks,” she pouted, her lower lip jutting out to emphasize her displeasure with the terrain. Even in her complaints, there was an air of playfulness and Inuyasha couldn’t help himself and huffed a half smile, catching her again as she managed to find yet another unstable rock that threatened to sprain her ankle. 

“Think you can carry me piggyback?” She tried to joke, blowing a strand of hair off her forehead.

He favored her with a chuckle, and then glanced up the opposite mountain peak. He suddenly sprouted a bright eyed smile, tapping her shoulder to get her attention.

“Look,” he said, pointing. 

The sun was low in the sky and its golden light transformed the jagged mountain rock into a fiery emblem, bold as it reached for the sky. His ears savored her gasp of delight and a flutter rippled through his stomach to feel her hands grip his arm. It was every bit alive as a fire and Kagome swore she felt it breathe, as though it had a pulse just like her. And as she watched, its color changed, from fiery gold, to a brilliant orange-red as the sun dipped beyond the horizon. 

“That. Is. Amazing!” She exclaimed breathlessly, before turning to shout to Sango and Miroku to look as well. 

Newly energized, she turned to Inuyasha. “Ok,” she said, “Let’s conquer this pass!”

There was much huffing and puffing as they moved up the nearly vertical incline. The rock beneath them was black, and sounded hollow as it bumped and scratched against each other while bearing their weight. And far, far beneath them, the sounds of mountain spring water rushed down to the stream, slowly eroding and grinding at the stones, bringing the mineral enriched waters to feed the valley. Every now and then, Kagome liked to pause and stare at the dazzlingly illuminated rock face across from them as though it provided her strength.

As remote as they were, with only a single minded mission of reaching a particular set of GPS coordinates, life was whittled down to simple things. Breathing in the clean mountain air, the feel of the rough rock they were scrambling up, freshly sheared from the mountainside. Tough little mountain plants clung to the rock, stubborning eking out a living drawing minimal nutrients from the hard surface and one had to admire their tenacity for life. As they grew and died, they would lay down the foundation for richer life to follow them. The air was wet and cold and smelled rich with both live and decaying plant matter. His breath rushed in and out of his lungs easily, creating small wispy clouds around his face and all tension was gone from his body. There was only the next foothold for his feet to find and trust his weight against. His eyes were only concerned with placement for his next step, or to assist the girl in front of him as she teetered and tottered her way. 

“You’re fine. You’re ok. I’ve got you.”

She paused for breath, leaning against an arm he lent her. Her grip on his hand was tight and shaking. Her breathing was fast and her eyes gleamed from the exercise. She smiled up at him, her expression bright with exhilaration.

“We’re so high up!” She said, glancing down the ravine. He glanced down with her, preparing to voice his agreement when his eyes spotted movement down below.

“Shh,” he whispered, shifting to retrieve his binoculars. The laser focus of his expression and movement had her positively thrilling with anticipation. Kagome held perfectly still, hardly breathing, as she anxiously waited. Inuyasha stared through the magnifying lenses for an excruciatingly long minute, staring at a distant brown rock. Kagome squinted in the direction he pointed the ocular device, straining to make out whatever it was he’d spotted. Did the rock shift? Or a trick of the light? At this distance was hard to tell. 

And then a head of antlers rose up from the brown rock and suddenly Inuyasha was staring at a stately young caribou, full rack of antlers arching proudly overhead, a silvery sheen highlighting its branches as the sunlight caught on the fine velvet. 

“Look! Look!” He whispered to the girl beside him. Carefully aiming the binoculars, he brought an arm around her waist to steady her as she eagerly peered through. Shortly after, she gasped, catching sight of the proud arctic creature. A small hand came up to his chest and he shivered from the contact.

“Wow,” she breathed, her voice soft and awed and very, very close. Her hand shifted and patted his sternum rapidly.

“He’s looking right at us!” She whispered excitedly, “Can he see us?”

He allowed a soft half smile to cross his face and his chest heaved in a humored laugh.

“Nah, I don’t think he can see us,” he answered her softly, his voice low and deep in his chest. He found himself tracing the lines of her profile with his eyes, then admiring the gleam of her braided hair that framed her face. His arm flexed unconsciously, drawing her slender waist firmer against his body. Just then, she seemed to come aware of how close they were standing, turning her head quickly so that their breath overlapped.

The world around them held still for that brief little moment. Neither had bathed in days and their skin was sticky with sweat and dirt. Inuyasha had a dark patchy collection of stubble reclaiming his chin and cheeks and Kagome’s face was blotchy from a developing sunburn. But none of these details would come back as they each reminisced on this memory. They would only remember the warmth where their bodies pressed against the other and the depths of each other’s eyes as they wordlessly searched the other’s expression. Weeks and months later, Inuyasha would ponder back on that moment and wonder, what was the question her dark brown eyes seemed to be asking him.

A gust of wind blew up from the valley and the moment was broken. Kagome coughed self consciously and timidly stepped back, out of his arms. He sniffed, briskly tucking the binoculars away in an effort to hide the confusing disappointment flooding his chest. When he glanced up again, she was biting her lip nervously, her eyes glancing at the scenery beyond him.

“Guess we should catch up with Sango and Miroku,” she muttered, before returning her attention to their arduous trek.

At some point in their long and tedious ascent, the sun was obscured by cloud cover, and gusty chilled winds began to tug at their jackets and hair. The cold air hit her lungs like a physical strike and she tried to remember to breathe through her nose in an effort to prepare it before it hit her lungs. It was under a shroud of moist, gray mist that the little caravan of heavily laden hikers managed to crest the high mountain pass. 

… 

“Tonight I’m peeing on this side,” Miroku announced, marching toward the valley they’d just come from. He set his feet and fiddled with his zipper. 

“Tomorrow, I pee on the other!” Sango rolled her eyes before turning to Kagome.

“I’m gonna go to bed,” she said, downing the last of her hot chocolate, “You sure you don’t need my extra down jacket?”

Kagome waved off her friend, hunching her shoulders to ward off the chill. She hoped her sleeping bag would be warm enough for the temperatures but she wasn’t about to deprive her friend of an extra layer of warmth. Sango shrugged before turning to slip inside her tent. Without trees or bushes, there was no hope of a fire up here and Kagome sorely missed it. Instead, she rubbed her cold fingers along the sides of her mug, trying to glean some minimal warmth from the hot beverage. They’d huddled together for a celebratory drink, cheerfully announcing that it would be all downhill from here. Camp at the top of the pass was less than ideal. While the top turned out to be surprisingly wide and flat, it was rocky and exposed, and much time was spent deciding where the tents should go. The sky was gray and getting grayer and Kagome nervously tried to read the clouds for rain, hoping she’d set up her tent correctly to stay dry.

Through the discussions and nervous preparations, Inuyasha lounged comfortably against his pack. His tarp was weighed down with a handful of rocks and though Kagome was rather dubious about his camp set up, he seemed unconcerned about the approaching shower. Now as Sango and Miroku retired into their tent, it was just the two of them and Kagome found herself wanting to stretch out this private moment as long as she could. She shifted to curl herself into a tighter ball around her mug, all the while eyeing the dark haired man. How he could be immune to the cold, foggy evening was baffling to her, as well as how he could appear so comfortable, laying back on the uneven, rocky surface. There was an unconscious elegance to his stance and movements, the hallmarks of someone completely at home in this harsh and testing habitat. He reclined with his legs akimbo, and he cast his eyes down the valley, and it called to mind the image of some apex predator surveying his territory. In one hand, he swirled the hot cocoa, making a face at the dark liquid before taking a swig.

“You don’t like chocolate?” She asked him, breaking the silence. He eyes flicked over to her and a thrill shot up her spine. He had a very direct stare and this time, he wasn’t glaring or glowering or sneering. And then the hint of a smile curled the corners of his lips and squinted around his eyes and Kagome smiled back at him.

“It’s not my favorite,” he answered her, “Too sweet.”

“Not into sweets?”

He glanced back down at the drink, wrinkling his nose. “It coats your tongue,” he said, “Can’t taste for shit afterwards.”

Kagome frowned, before raising an eyebrow in amusement. “Why’s that so bad?” She asked.

He shifted and sat up straighter. “You gotta be careful what you eat out here,” he said, “And taste can tell you a lot about a plant.”

“Oh, like if something’s poisonous?”

He grunted and tilted his head back to down the last sip. Kagome swirled the remains of her hot cocoa as well, reluctant to finish it as though emptying the mug would bring an end to the evening. She was feeling coltish, with a frustrated sort of nervous energy. The breathtaking, tense moment on the hillside had sparked an awareness of the chemistry between her and this man of few words and she felt compelled to explore it. And though while he appeared perfectly content to sit in companionable silence, she so desperately wanted to converse, to learn more about this handsome, unique mountain hermit.

“That caribou earlier was amazing!” she tried, changing the subject. 

Grunt.

Kagome made a face, blowing a raspberry as she sighed in exasperation. While she glared at the side of his face, she caught a sly glance he gave her and the ensuing smirk he sent her more effectively warmed her insides than any hot drink. Feeling bolstered, she tried again.

“It’s hard to believe we’re already almost halfway done.”

Grunt.

“Dude! You’re impossible!”

Inuyasha had to chuckle as Kagome pouted and shifted to hug herself, looking comical in the large, puffy down jacket she wore. Rolling his eyes, he shifted to face her and took a breath.

“How d’you like it so far?” he asked, humoring her apparent need to converse.

Her smile was beaming and could have competed with the sun. 

“It’s been amazing!” she exclaimed, “We’ve seen so many animals and I can’t believe we’ve walked so far!”

They smiled at each other for a breath, her hoping he’d continue the conversation, him simply basking in her glow.

“I’m getting nervous about the packrafting,” Kagome pressed on, changing the subject. “I’ve never gone white water rafting before…”

Inuyasha snorted, but when he glanced at the obvious apprehension on her face, he quickly felt compelled to put her mind at ease.

“You can ride with me,” he said simply. Kagome smiled.

“You sure? I’ll probably be dead weight.”

Grunt.

She rolled her eyes and laughed while Inuyasha shrugged.

“We’ll portage the really choppy sections,” he told her, “The rest is just letting the river do the work.”

“Hmm,” Kagome said, nodding. Then she sighed and glanced around again, taking in the harsh beauty of the alpine biome. 

“I… I think I can understand the draw of this place,” she said thoughtfully, “The simplicity. I almost wish I could stay here forever.”

Inuyasha started to huff a grunt, before failing spectacularly to smother it. It came out as an odd sort of coughing snort and Kagome burst out laughing, leaning over to pat his shoulder. He tried to appear unfazed by the unconscious touch.

“Thanks,” she giggled, “I appreciate the effort.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he said with mock exasperation. Then his expression grew distant. “It’s not all fun and games, though. The land challenges you. It makes you work to survive. It can be cold, dark and barren.”

_ And lonely _ .

She thought she heard that last phrase, but then it could also be a whisper in the wind. His tone, the hint of defeated resignation in his voice, it made her wish to reach out to him, to tell him that it didn’t have to be so. But there was a wall of glass between them suddenly and she was afraid to try to reach past it. 

They sat in silence for a time, Inuyasha gazing thoughtfully into the mist. Kagome watched his profile, noting something sad and forlorn in his face. Where to start, she wondered, how do you reach someone who’s built up such high, impenetrable walls? She thought perhaps she’d give it another try.

“Um,” she started, “Can I ask a personal question?”

He narrowed his eyes as he stared at her askance. He seemed to debate her request before finally grunting his permission.

“You have a college degree from a good school, and from what Miroku said you had a solid job that you really liked. Why did you throw all that away and come out here?”

Ahh, it was wrong to ask, Kagome realized as she watched his reaction to the question. The muscles in his cheeks jutted out as his jaw clenched and the soft, reflective look in his eyes turned steely and hard. His entire body was still and tense and Kagome fought a surprising and confusing urge to rush over and wrap her arms around him.

“Shit happened,” he said finally, soft and clipped. That was all. He stood abruptly and marched to his lonely tarp and slipped inside, leaving her alone to ponder his reaction with both regret and intrigue. Sitting by herself on the lonely pass, she sighed to herself as she finally guzzled down the last of her drink. A strong gust of wind blew over the pass and down into the next valley and she shivered. Finally, Kagome stood, deciding she needed to be inside her warm, downy sleeping bag. As she passed Inuyasha’s small, efficient little tarp, she whispered, hardly loud enough for him to hear.

“I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to pry. I won’t bring it up again.”

He listened to her shifting and the zipper of her sleeping bag, slide up to enclose her inside a downy shell. He lay like a mummy, on his back with his hands crossed over his stomach. There wasn’t much space in his little set up, not even any room to roll over. Staring up at the hiking poles that propped up the crinkly fabric, he tried not to feel so guilty. The regret was strongly present in her voice as she apologized to him, making her sound defeated and sad. It was not the usual Kagome voice he’d grown used to and somehow it rankled him to hear the depressed tone. It was none of her business, she should be sorry for prying. 

But then, there had been a part of him that was opening up to her, sharing the joy and beauty of his backyard with her. Wanting her to accept these trivial little things and being grateful that she did with wonder and enthusiasm. It had been both enjoyable and a comfort to point out the beautifully lit mountain rock face, and the caribou, and to watch her innocent and exuberant delight to share the sighting with him. He just wasn’t ready to share this little darkness with her yet. He wasn’t quite ready to face it himself.

That’s all.

* * *

A/N: ehh…. sorry this was so short. I really wanted to end it before they started hiking down cause that was the portion of our trip that I found most brutal and sucky and didn’t feel like reliving it just yet…...


	7. Thrive in the suck

Pro tip - always test your tent fly before going camping. We discovered our fly was as waterproof as a tissue paper right there at the top of the mountain pass and had to sleep in puddles all the rest of the trip… not fun.

* * *

#  **The Call**

~ Kitty

**Chapter 6: Thrive in the Suck**

… 

_ “God has cared for these trees, saved them from drought, disease, avalanches, and a thousand tempests and floods. But he cannot save them from fool”  _

_ ― John Muir _

* * *

She woke to a tap, tap, tap and for a little while, she lay there wondering how long it had been raining. The air seemed wet and heavy around her face and a crunching outside told her her companions were up and about already. Tap, tap, tap. And then she realized that the tapping was not coming from outside.

Tap, tap, tap.

Something was hitting her sleeping bag.

Sitting up with a groan, Kagome’s sleepy eyes slowly came to focus on the dark little puddle growing at the foot of her bag.

“Shit!”

She looked up, noting that there was a sagging puddle dripping from the top of her tent and now she glanced around, grateful that at least the water hadn’t completely penetrated her layers to freeze her with the cold mountain water. Her movements inadvertently disturbed the sides of her tent and the entire floating puddle came pouring down on her.

“Fuck!” 

“Kagome?” a concerned voice came from outside, “You alright in there?”

Kagome sighed grumpily to herself before answering her friend. “I’m ok, Sango, but my tent is leaking.”

“... Well that sucks,” Sango replied.

“Ya think?” 

Sango watched Kagome’s tent sympathetically as the girl inside grumbled and shuffled around before finally poking her head out. Already prepared with a shamwow in hand, she offered it to Kagome, who gratefully accepted before disappearing back into the leaky fabric shelter.

Heavy, gray clouds hung low and ominous over the pass. What was once a grand, sweeping view on both sides was now obstructed by a dense fog. It was disorienting, and when Kagome finally managed to step out onto the wet, rocky ground, she found herself completely turned around, unable to tell which direction they’d come from, and which direction they ought to be heading. This realization brought a concerned frown to her face.

Her eyes glanced around with apprehension before turning to Sango. 

“Today is gonna suck, isn’t it?”

Indeed it did, and the suck crescendoed gradually. It was difficult to pack up and ready herself for the downhill march, with her sodden belongings clinging to her skin and picking up leaves and dirt and smearing it across her hands and face. The extra water weighed down her load and required extra heaving just to get it onto her back. And it was cold, the chilly mountain wind biting at her fingers and cheeks and nose. The damp air chilled her insides and she was shivering by the time they were ready to start their trek. Inuyasha was sullen and silent throughout preparations. Kagome tried to tell herself it was because of the dreary morning they’d awoken to, but a part of her nagged that it was all her fault for bringing up painful memories that he clearly would rather not broach. He avoided eye contact with her the entire morning and all she saw was the back of his head and his swinging braid trudging away into the mist as they departed their campsite. Kagome worried her lip as she started off after them all, entirely mentally unprepared for the drudgery that lay ahead.

The top of the pass might have been broad and clear, but it didn’t take long for them to reencounter the thick, dense bushes of the alders and willows, their leaves slick with rain. Kagome pressed through one, just one small bush, and found her pants completely soaked through where her raincoat couldn’t cover. Another step and she was dripping. While water was no longer pouring from overhead, apparently the rain was very determined to make their downhill hike as miserable as possible. Mother Nature had a vindictive way of reminding you of your smallness.

The pace was quick, Inuyasha had already disappeared into the fog and Kagome fought to quell the little lump of panic in her throat as she struggled to keep up. Thankful for Sango’s and Miroku’s brightly colored packs, she somehow managed to keep them in eyeshot until she hit the first boulder field.

Going up the mountain had already been tricky, with teetering boulders that rocked and slid just when she thought she’d found good footing. Going down the mountain was several times harder. She didn’t trust her balance, and with the slick wet rain, suddenly every step was treacherous and her companions were beginning to grow faint and small in the distance.

“Sango! Miroku!” She called them desperately, “Hold up!”

Sango turned to wait while Miroku shouted for Inuyasha in the distance. There was a great deal of muffled shouting, arguing, but Kagome couldn’t be bothered to pay attention. Just one more step, she began telling herself, just take one more step. The mountain was dotted by bright, happy little flowers, white and blue, that seemed to encourage her and she bit her lower lip as she focused on the downward climb. They were delicate looking little flowers, yet somehow perfectly at home in this hostile terrain and, briefly distracted, she missed a step as she admired them.

Kagome yelped when a sudden hand grabbed hold of her arm. He didn’t look at her at all as he stabilized her. Just stood mutely beside her as she found better purchase on the slippery rock and moved to step forward. 

Seeing that her friend was being assisted, Sango turned again and began to trudge on with Miroku, unaware of the tense, silent atmosphere that had descended between Kagome and Inuyasha. They both silently stewed in grumpy unhappiness while Kagome battled for every forward step she made.

And then, they were in the bushes again, enveloped by the wet, dewy leaves. Inuyasha moved in front of her, satisfied that she could press on on her own, and began to pick up his pace again. In a panic, she grabbed hold of his arm, he was a stabilizing presence, even when he was sulky, and she wanted him nearby to bolster her spirits.

“Wait!” She cried.

He paused and tilted his head to glance backwards. He still didn’t meet her eyes.

“I’m… I’m sorry,” she said, releasing him, “I just… I just don’t want to be left alone.”

Grunt. 

Kagome sighed a little in relief when he continued to wait, allowing her to move in front of him. She felt immensely better to have a walking companion, and even when Sango and Miroku disappeared briefly in the thick cloud cover, she felt comforted to have the strong, experienced outdoorsman at her back.

They walked in silence for a time, slowly dipping down below the clouds, until they came across a long, wide stretch of dead and dying trees. Kagome stopped short at the sight of it, her eyes round and confused. It was the first time in their travels to see such a large swath of brown dirt with sagging, limp, twisted branches scattered like skeletons across it. In the damp misty morning, the area seemed like a graveyard and sent chills up her spine. She turned to Inuyasha for explanation.

“Global warming,” he said, “The permafrost is melting.”

From the side, his expression seemed stoic and distant, but his voice was sad as he took in the destruction. Sango and Miroku were lower down and actively exploring the desolation. The bottoms of their pants and boots began collecting little stains of red-brown dirt. There were great sheets of dirty, brown ice exposed for the first time in perhaps millennia. Methane gas rose up from the released, thawing organic matter and reached them, combined with the scent of rot. Kagome wrinkled her nose at the smell of it.

She didn’t know what to say about the ruined land and stayed silent. Eventually, Inuyasha shifted, turning his eyes away from the scene and said softly under his breath.

“Let’s get moving.”

Finally, the caravan of soaking and tired travelers reached the small river that rushed down into the basin they were seeking. It was a shallow, friendly little stream and Sango and Miroku wasted no time switching to their water shoes and plunging in. River walking was infinitely better than bushwacking, or so they thought.

Kagome found herself in a pickle shortly after setting foot in the river. It was a fast flowing stream, one that cut a deep path down the steep valley, with boulders and churning white water that no sane person would traverse, to her mind at least. The stream very quickly became a thrashing, violent rapid, careening over rocks and boulders on its way down. Kagome wanted out. But the dense tangle of leaves and branches on either side pressed in and forced her to face the rushing water and her forehead furrowed with anxious distress. With the white noise blotting out all other sounds to her ears, her mind found there was only herself and her predicament to focus on, and the pounding in her chest as she struggled to move forward without the push of the water toppling her over to drown her. The rock was cold and slippery and her fingers were bruised and raw from scraping against the unforgiving surfaces, trying to find a hand hold that would keep her from falling. There were moments, terrified, where she was sure there was no way to move forward, and that she was stuck there forever clinging to a boulder while the rest of the group disappeared into the distance.

The only thing that kept her moving forward was his presence at her back. Little things, a touch at her elbow, a hand moving into her field of vision to push aside a low hanging branch that was reaching out to snag her. Despite his silence and his more muted demeanor that day, she was infinitely grateful for his help in battling that lively, frightening little river. 

It was something she was still learning about the mountains, the rugged wilderness, that ate up the folly of carefree innocence and spat out time and weather hardened creatures of grit and resilience. Never let your guard down. Just as she was beginning to relax, to take braver steps into the white, frothy, rushing water, she suddenly felt herself slipping and a terrified scream tore from her throat as her body began to drop into the freezing water below.

His arm snaked across her stomach faster than humanly possible and she felt him pull her flush against his body. How he managed to pull up, not only her body weight, but maneuver around her pack was a feat she could hardly fathom and it was all she could do to cling to the arm that saved her, gasping. 

“I’ve got you,” his voice told her, warm and deep against her ear, “You’re ok, I’ve got you.”

She was getting spoiled, hearing that comforting voice telling her she was safe. Turning, she tried to look up into his face, her eyes sparkling as she cheekily spoke to him.

“You’re my hero,” she said, “Seriously, all your drinks are on me when we get back to Fairbanks.”

She felt the huff of his snort, the heaving of his chest, more than she heard it and she allowed herself to relax, letting her head roll against his shoulder for a small, relief filled moment.

“Kagome?!” Sango’s voice drifted in from a distance, “Kagome, are you ok?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” she shouted back, hoping Sango wasn’t battling her way upstream to get to her. Despite the awkward positioning, there was a part of her that wanted to extend this little embrace as long as she could. Trying to remind herself about the suspension bridge effect, Kagome sighed and turned to her savior again.

“Thanks,” she said to him, her eyes trying to emphasize just how much she meant it, “Really, thanks so much.”

It was the first time all day that he met her eyes and there was an emotion there in his handsome face that felt vulnerable and earnest. His arm released her slowly, waiting until she was firm in her position on the river stones against the rushing water and then, a surprising thing. The hand, rough and calloused, traveled upward, finding her cheek and tugging a slick lock of hair away from her face. She forgot to breath while he moved unchecked over her skin, tucking the damp hair behind her ear. His lips quirked in an almost smile she swore she heard his breath rushing in deeply into his lungs, even above the roar of the river.

Then he blinked, and glanced aside, and grunted.

Her cheeks still tingled from the trail his fingers left across her face.

… 

Kagome was thoroughly drenched and exhausted by the time Miroku decided to peel off from the river, brave the steep, steep ascent into the thick foliage, and take a much needed break. Sango found a bluff from which they could survey the rest of the distance they’d yet to travel and she called them all over for a hot drink and some fatty, savory snacks.

Kagome stumbled heavily up to the bluff, gratefully dropping her pack and turning into a puddle beside it, panting, not even caring anymore that all her things were likely soaked through and that she was shivering now, from both the cold and her physical exertion. Sango quickly came to her friend, hot tea in hand, and they huddled together, wryly bemoaning what a miserable, sodden day it was with a sarcastic sort of humor. The camaraderie helped.

“Hey, Inuyasha,” Miroku called out, a sudden idea hitting his thoughts. Inuyasha braced himself, recognizing the tone of mischief in his ex-roommates voice and not liking it one bit.

“You should lend Kagome your tarp for her tent,” Miroku suggested, “Since hers is leaking.” Kagome perked up, liking the idea of being dry while Inuyasha glowered at Miroku.

“And where will I sleep?” He all but growled. Kagome frowned, just realizing the dilemma.

“In the tent with Kagome of course!” Miroku said, clearly very satisfied with his clever little plan.

“What?!” Inuyasha exclaimed. He was about ready to smack the annoying man across the face. Kagome looked on apprehensively. On the one hand, she would really love to stay dry at night. On the other…

“It  _ is _ a two person tent,” Sango said helpfully, “And it’s just a few days.”

“Exactly!” Miroku said, leaning in, “C’mon Inuyasha, it’s the gentlemanly thing to do.”

“Well I ain’t a gentleman,” Inuyasha protested while Kagome spoke up as well.

“It’s ok, he doesn’t have to,” she said, “I’ll survive…”

It only took one look at the pathetic, soaked, shivering figure for all Inuyasha’s protests to vanish into smoke. He deflated quickly, his own stature losing an inch, before grunting and grumbling and moving to regather his gear. Kagome, relieved by the thought of a dry tent, had mixed feelings as Inuyasha once again took up position beside her as the rest readied themselves for the rest of the trek down.

“You really don’t have to,” Kagome whispered to him, “If you don’t want to.”

Grunt.

“I… I can use my raincoat to cover most of my things.”

Grunt.

“Inuyasha,” she paused, turning to grab hold of his arm, “You’ve really been a huge help already, I’d hate for you to be uncomfortable because of me.”

He allowed himself to be held back, his arm feeling warm and tingling at her touch. The hike down the valley had done a number on her. Her hair was damp and plastered to her forehead and cheeks. Those cheeks were flushed a bright, vibrant red and her slender shoulders shook and shivered. She looked haggard and exhausted. But her eyes, there was sunshine in her eyes and they peered into his with both a sincerity and a beseeching sort of look that seemed to reach straight into his chest to pull up his heart. He heaved a sigh, closing his eyes and covering her small hand with his.

“It’s ok,” he muttered, “Just don’t complain if I snore.”

It was the right thing to say. Her face lit up into a big wide smile and the sound of her laughter rang out like a bell. Suddenly, she didn’t look as if she’d just battled mountain and river to within an inch of her life and her gate was practically bouncing as they descended back down toward the river. 

Things improved dramatically after that. The river gradually leveled out and familiar gravel bars came into view. Soon they were all marching along easily over the even, flat surface. And up in the sky, patches of blue peeked out from the gray clouds and songbirds twittered tentatively as though testing the air to see if the storm had passed for good. The walking was not easy, but they moved quickly and soon they found themselves at a junction in the river, where the little tributary they sought met up with the larger current. Turning, the little troupe began the gentle upward trek to their final campsite at the source of that small, narrow stream.

… 

“This way!” Inuyasha shouted. Sango and Miroku were up ahead somewhere, battling the head height alders and bushes. The mostly level landscape had created a marsh and Kagome was beginning to wonder if their day of walking could get any worse. She found herself at the point of exhaustion where she really could only manage the next step forward, and stuck closely behind Inuyasha as her only guide in finding where to place her feet. She glanced at the direction the dark haired man pointed and couldn’t even find it within herself to groan at the uphill climb. Further up, however, she saw the forest of spruce and pine and realized he was changing their direction for her benefit. The needles from the evergreen trees kept the forest floor bare and soft, making for far easier walking than they were experiencing at present and Kagome gratefully, but wearily, turned to trudge up the slope. A hand at her elbow helped her keep her balance and soon she found herself moving easily through the forest of straight, rough-barked trunks. 

She paused then, for a sigh and to readjust her bearings. Blinking rapidly, she slowly brought her mind to focus on her surroundings, finally appreciating the beauty in that misty forest. The rain from earlier that day had evaporated and then condensed low to the ground and the fog floated amongst the trunks like a magical blanket, toying coyly with the branches, and depositing small, delicate dewdrops on the fine needled leaves. She noticed something then, peering into the grey mist, the sky overhead still dark and heavy with unshed rain. The greens of the forest somehow seemed deeper and richer, the longer she stared, and there was something rich and lush about their mossy surroundings. 

And behind her, a young man with a long dark braid found his eyes inexplicably drawn to the dawning wonder sprouting on her face. He was perplexed by her, he couldn’t figure out any other way to describe it. He’d seen her whittled to a low point that day, frightened stiff while clinging to a boulder in the rapids, or drenched and shivering as she struggled through the tangles trees and shrubs. But despite all this, to be able to pause in the diffused, waning light of the evening and gape at the looming forest with such open awe, Inuyasha tempered his confusion with a begrudging respect for Kagome’s ability to appreciate her present despite her environments hostility. Nature had been an ass to them today, yet she could turn around and gaze back at it so lovingly. And with just a look, she transformed the foggy, gloomy forest into a warm and inviting place and he couldn’t help but note a loosening in the tension between his shoulder blades as he shifted, then pressed forward to lead them onward. 

The spruce trees ended at a small creek that must have only recently rampaged down the valley and into the larger river, for a massacre of fallen trees lay scattered in the rushing water. Inuyasha gestured to Kagome and pointed upward, toward the sheer cliff they’d stepped out under.

He found himself smiling a soft, gentle smile to see Kagome’s eyes widen gradually as she looked in the direction he pointed. Her face opened and her jaw dropped down as her head tilted up. They were near the base of a waterfall and the white, wispy plumes of water careened straight down several hundred feet to wreak havoc on the forest below. Though wet, they would certainly have enough firewood tonight once they had a stable bed a coals. 

“Dinner here then camp in the forest,” Inuyasha said simply, picking out a convenient looking patch of gravel and dropping his pack. Sango and Miroku grunted, weary and relieved to finally be stopping. There was a brief silence before the sound of hysterical laughter bubbled up from behind them.

“You… Oh god… haha!” The other three turned to give her funny looks, clearly concerned for her mental state. Kagome was clutching her stomach, swaying and pointing at them and laughing a full belly laugh that had the contents of her pack clanking and jingling. When she glanced up at their confused, stunned faces, it only made her laugh harder.

“Haha! It must be the water, or something,” she managed to say, laughing, “Now we know why Inuyasha just grunts all the time!”

The realization dawned on their faces slowly. Sango was the quickest to catch on, her lips twitching before stretching out into a full grin and she began to chuckle herself. Miroku joined in the merriment soon after, shaking his head. Only Inuyasha managed to maintain a straight face, the exasperation painted on it sending the rest into greater fits of laughter. With the look of a parent trying very hard to be patient, he took a long, deep breath, rolling his eyes before letting out a long, beleaguered sigh and turning to his pack to set up his stove. It was only when Sango and Miroku’s chuckles tapered down and the couple began to busy themselves with collecting firewood, and Kagome came over to crouch beside him, sharing a bright smile just for him, that he allowed his stoic mask to crack, and he returned her smile, one that reached his eyes and made them shine back at her.

She paused then, struck by the strange peaceful intensity she read in them. Magnetic and warm and transformative. Kagome would look back on this day and have trouble remembering the rigors and the cold, damp struggles she toiled through, only able to recall how wonderfully gentle and intimate the day ended.

… 

It was much later that night, with much shuffling and scooting, and the obnoxiously loud, abrupt sound of zippers being slid shut, that Kagome laid down awkwardly beside Inuyasha in her tent. She stared up at the ceiling fabric, hardly able to breath and body tense and stiff. Her eyes darted around while her teeth nibbled her lips. 

“Um, goodnight,” she said, her voice small and shy.

There was a silence while Inuyasha held back his customary grunt of response.

“Goodnight,” he replied, eventually.

They both lay wide awake, the gentle evening light filtering in through the red and brown colored fabric, illuminating the interior with a soft, warm sort of color. Kagome still breathed shallowly, hyper aware of how close their shoulders were in the small space. She could hear him breathing, deep and even, and briefly wondered if he’d already fallen asleep.

“You did good today.”

She’d hardly been aware it was possible, but Kagome choked on air when his voice spoke out beside her. She coughed, then turned to look at him. He was staring straight up, eyes determinedly glued to the top of the tent. 

“Thanks,” she said softly, “You really saved me several times today.”

He huffed, probably would have grunted if not for the atmosphere somehow compelling him to be as quiet as possible. His voice dropped down to a whisper as he responded.

“Heh, you need a lot of saving.”

Kagome couldn’t help the smirk that crept onto her face. She admired his profile, his sharp angles giving him a fierce look. 

“C’mon, you don’t need to be so smug about it.”

“I’m not,” he said, turning to face her. Their eye contact was electrifying. “You can call on me any time.”

Shifting to lay on her side, bringing her hands below her chin to tuck the fabric of her sleeping bag tighter around her face, Kagome graced him with a soft, grateful smile. She could only hold the gaze for the briefest of moments, before growing self conscious and glancing down. It gave Inuyasha an opportunity to analyze her face, the endearing way she was cuddled into her sleeping bag and how it pushed up her cheeks. Finally, he sighed, long and deep into his chest, turning to face the top of the tent and letting his eyes drift closed. He didn’t fall asleep right away though, just took on the semblance of sleep while he relived the day in his mind. She’d looked at him with so many different eyes that day. Desperate eyes, frightened eyes, sullen eyes. And then shining, awed, joyful eyes that only seemed brighter for the hardships they faced that day. Gradually Kagome relaxed beside him, her breathing evened out and he listened to it for a good long time. It was a strange bag of mixed feelings he had lying there beside her. Though by now he’d gotten to know Kagome, and saw her when he looked at her, there was still a part of him that remembered another girl with such a similar face, that had once laid beside him at night. Had it always felt so warm? He wondered to himself late into the early morning. Had it always felt so peaceful? There was something so incredibly soothing about Kagome’s gaze. The way it seemed to transform the instant she met his eyes, immediately conveying some kind of great happiness and pleasure to see him. Had he felt the same way when he stared into Kikyou’s eyes while they lay in bed together?

He couldn’t remember.

And strangely enough, he found, he was beginning not to care.

* * *

Thanks for reading! Hope you liked!


	8. Not past, but through

A/N: Holy Crappa! Thanks so much to whoever nominated this story for the 2nd Quarterly Inuyasha Fandom Awards, by FeudalConnection! It’s so flattering and humbling to be nominated! 

* * *

#  **The Call**

~ Kitty

**Chapter 7: Not past, but through**

… 

_ “Climb the mountains and get their good tidings. Nature's peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees. The winds will blow their own freshness into you, and the storms their energy, while cares will drop away from you like the leaves of Autumn.” _

_ ― John Muir, The Mountains of California _

… 

Sunlight filtered hazy and diffused into the small, still space. Bodies shifted, lungs heaved. It was hot and stuffy in that little fabric shelter. And just outside, the trees creaked and murmured to each other against a constant breeze while birdsong filled the air. Enclosed in the small tent, one could imagine a caterpillar as it peers through its translucent, hazy cocoon and wonders what was happening in the outside world while it slept, snuggled and cozy in its own little private safe place. Eventually, groaning, a shape rose from the mussed bed of fluffy down sleeping bags. The figure heaved a great long breath, smelling the pitchy scent of the evergreens surrounding them, sharp and sappy, and then he shifted, listening to her breathing in the quiet early morning. 

Kagome had kicked off her covering at some time in the night, her tent acting like a mini greenhouse as the sun grew stronger in the sky. Her hair was splayed out around her head, framing her face which was lax from sleep. Soft and intimate, Inuyasha clenched his fists to keep from reaching out to touch her cheek. Her chest rose and fell in time with her deep, even breathing and he found himself inhaling and sighing along with her. A flash of skin at her midriff peeked out at him where her shirt had bunched up and he couldn’t help but crack a soft smile at the endearing, vulnerable image, even as a hand reach out to tug the shirt back into place. She shifted, turning her head to face him and sighing, leaving her lips ajar and drawing his attention. It was a bit too much for the lonely mountain hermit first thing in the morning, and he decided to make his exit. 

Kagome cracked open bleary, sleepy eyes as Inuyasha shook the sides of the tent on his departure.

“Inuyasha?” She called softly into the empty tent. The gentle noises of the forest, soft chirping and the distant pounding of the waterfall, answered her. She heard a crunching around the tent and glanced around to catch his shadow as he moved around, before suddenly crouching down. Curiously, Kagome unzipped her side of the tent to poke her head out.

“Inuyasha?” She whispered, unconsciously aware, somehow, that she should keep her voice hushed. His back was to her but he turned, a sparkle in his eye as he raised a finger to his lips before shifting to give her an unbroken view, pointing. He shuffled backward toward her, surprisingly silent on the pine needle carpet of the forest floor. 

“On the rock,” he told her quietly, “By that tree.”

Kagome squinted, unable to pick out what they were looking at until her eyes spotted movement. No more than a ripple in the moss, a flash of rusty red raced through a patch of sunlight. Easily the most graceful, fluid creature she’d ever seen, the tiny, bright eyed weasel popped back into view a few seconds later, peering out at them from behind an old spruce stump. Russet with a splash of brilliant white down its neck and belly, its fur gleamed with the shine of a healthy, voracious predator. It tilted its small, pointed head as it examined them. The dark, beady eyes had a depth and intelligence in them and Kagome felt profoundly like she was meeting eyes with an alien mind. The whiskers on its little muzzle twitched. And then it blinked, and faster than Kagome could have thought possible, the weasel vanished into the patchy shadows and low growing ferns. She discovered that she’d been holding her breath and heaved a sigh before turning bright, excited eyes to Inuyasha.

“Wow,” she breathed. His expression was very different from hers, a quieter, more pensive appreciation of witnessing the elusive forest creature rather than her open, wide eyed wonder. But his eyes smiled when they turned to her, and his lips quirked to match the brightness of hers.

“It was so cute!” She said, puckering her eyebrows, “and it looked so soft!”

Her fingers wiggled as she imagined the softness of ermine fur. Inuyasha’s smile spread further across his face as he watched her thrill over their latest wildlife encounter. 

“Heh, it’d bite off all your fingers before you get close enough to touch it,” he said. 

Kagome looked at him with a raised eyebrow. “ _ That _ little thing?” She asked, incredulous. 

“Weasels are vicious little fuckers,” he shrugged. 

“Aww,” she exclaimed, “with an adorable face like that?”

Snort. “That’s the face of a killer.”

She didn’t look convinced and narrowed her eyes playfully to convey her doubts, before breaking the silence with a giggle. There was always such a brightness in her face and when she laughed, a tickle of warmth started in his gut and reached gentle tendrils up to his heart. When her giggles petered out, they continued to smile dumbly at each other for a quiet, spellbound moment. Then he shifted, coughed, and crack a shy smile.

“Mornin’,” he said quietly. 

“Morning,” she responded, “Sleep ok? I didn’t kick did I?”

The smile he was sporting turned lopsided as a smirk crossed his features. “Nah,” he said, “But you did snore.”

“I do not!”

“Heh,” he huffed, eyes cocked in mock accusation. Then he fixed her in place with a sly grin, the brightest expression she’d seen on his face since Fairbanks. “Yah did last night.”

That look he gave her could slay a female heart, and before she could recover her breath to formulate a retort, he’d turned back around and moved to the center of camp to get coffee and breakfast started. 

Kagome ducked back into the tent, a hand pressed to her chest to quell her pulse.  _ ‘Maybe that’s why he’s a hermit,’ _ she thought to herself,  _ ‘Girls must drop like flies when he looks at them like that…’  _

She sighed and shook her head and proceeded to dress for the day. Their packrafts were being flown in that day and considering the heat of the morning, Kagome decided on a minimal outfit, just enough to keep her skin from burning in the ever present sun. With the expectation of a day in the river, she eagerly pulled on a pair of shorts, then stepped out to enjoy the feel of the sun’s radiance on her bare legs.

It’s a glorious thing, to step out into a conifer forest in the early morning light. Tinged with a golden hue, the light filtered down to the floor in patches, creating a wonderland of contrast between the brightly illuminated and the dark mysterious. Dust floated and glittered in the sun rays like fairy dust. It was magical. The greens of the trees were deep and rich, while the moss on the ground was bright and vibrant. Pushing up from carpet of needles, little colorful flowers dotted the forest floor, eagerly drinking up the golden light. The ground was soft and sank when she stepped out onto it. It was a young forest, with trees that Kagome could wrap her arms around and still touch the other side. But here and there an ancient spirit loomed overhead, imperious and powerful, somehow demanding silent reverence from her as she gazed up at the majestic monuments. 

There was a soft thump and a snap behind her, and she turned to find Inuyasha, steaming mug in his hands, held out in obvious offering. It was his mug and she smiled to accept the hot coffee, gratefully taking a sip and letting the dark bitterness wash over her tongue. 

“Thanks,” she said quietly. He nodded in response, preserving the peaceful morning atmosphere and together they absorbed the harmony in the forest around them.

It was not to last long, however, as the signs of life began to emerge from the second tent and eventually, Miroku tumbled out, shouting a bright and chirpy ‘halloooooo!’ Kagome giggled when Inuyasha beside her groaned, his shoulders slumping, before turning and glaring at the raucous young man.

“Oooh, coffee!” Miroku exclaimed eagerly, holding out his hands for the mug in Kagome’s hands. Inuyasha quickly reclaimed his cup, glaring at Miroku.

“Make yer own,” he grumbled. Miroku pouted.

“But sharing is caring!”

Inuyasha rolled his eyes, groaning before retorting, “Fuck off…”

He stomped off, checking on the rehydrating pouches of breakfast. Miroku turned to Kagome, giving her a sad puppy dog look that made her laugh outright.

“Why did you get to have his coffee?” He whined with a pout. Kagome only shrugged, turning her attention to another dark head tumbling out of the second tent. Sango had apparently decided to fully embrace the mountain hermit code for communication and voicelessly reached for the currently steaming cup of coffee in Inuyasha’s hand. When rebuked, she shrugged, grunted, and proceeded to dig into her bear bin for her own packet of instant wakefulness powder.

“Morning Sango,” Kagome said brightly.

Grunt.

“Sango! Not you too!”

Grunt.

“Stop it, Inuyasha,” Kagome complained, “Let’s at least evolve to the point of language.”

For the second time that morning, his smirk left her breathless and incapable of retorting. Then he grunted again. For lack of a better response, she stuck her tongue out at him and felt a thrill when he chuckled in response.

Coffee and breakfast was an efficient, although conversationless affair and Sango needed at least two cups after the day before in order to warm up the gears in her brain.

“Ok,” she said, “Where’s this lake we’re meeting the bushplane at?”

The four of them peered down at the laminated map, a bright red dot indicating their current estimated location. Inuyasha pointed a confident hand along the route he wanted to take.

“Wouldn’t it be easier here?” Miroku protested, gesturing down closer to the edge of the lake, “It’s way flatter.”

“And wetter,” Inuyasha argued, “You want to slog through more bog?”

“Nope!” Kagome piped up, clearly willing to do everything necessary to avoid the swamp. Her socks from the previous day were still damp and she was unwilling to risk her back up pair for the sake of dry feet. Sango agreed as well.

“Let’s go Inuyasha’s way, Miroku,” she said to her fiancé. Miroku huffed a sigh before relenting.

“Fine…, but we don’t really need to get moving until later in the morning right?”

Grunt.

“Is that a yes?”

Grunt.

“I hate you…”

“Why don’t we head there early,” Sango suggested, “It looks like there’s a beach down there, we can go for a dip while we wait.”

Miroku groaned, unwilling to tear down camp and toil through the bushes and terrain. Kagome was more than eager, excited by the prospect of a bath in the lake. The sun was a bright, cheery orb in the sky and it brightened her spirits as though the day before had been nothing but a dark, stormy dream. 

With the arctic summer sun came arctic summer heat, and arctic summer mosquitos. The recent rain lead to a bloom of the buzzing, blood sucking insects and Kagome felt that every time she paused to swipe her hand over her sweating brow, her arm came back littered with the corpses of the little insects that had drowned in her sweat. She was a veritable walking fly paper trap for the little buggers and she was both disgusted and ever so slightly pleased that she could so effortlessly kill so many of them. She made it a point to generously spray herself with insect repellent and bit her lips whenever her sweat brought the stinging fluid to her eyes.

It was the thought of the cool, pristine lake they slowly descended down to that kept her going. Slowly, very slowly, the sparkling blue waters of that beautiful puddle in the middle of the mountains came into view. It was a well established lake and was a popular fishing spot and soon, joy of joys, they stumbled upon a packed, well defined trail that led them down to a soft, gravel beach. 

The lake was a rippling, sparkling reflection of the cheerful blue sky rimmed with dark green foliage. By the time their feet first crunched on the gravel beach, the sun had risen high in the sky and the breeze was warm as it danced along their skin. Kagome wasted no time, immediately dropping her pack and making for the cool, blue water, discarding her boots and socks in a little trail behind her. Sango was a half step behind and the girls giggled and teased each other, sending water droplets flying. It was a vision and Inuyasha swallowed hard from a suddenly dry mouth. 

“I love the beach,” Miroku said beside Inuyasha, “The sand, the water, the girls…”

“Argh, get off!”

Shoving his friend off his shoulder, Inuyasha dropped his pack to the ground with a heavy crunch, trying to turn his attention to checking his gear and adjusting straps. It was an irresistible force of gravity that kept pulling his eyes toward the sparkling water and the figures dancing amongst the glitter. She was radiant, a smile spread from ear to ear and despite her short stature, he legs seemed miles long as they romped and waded in the lake. He swallowed hard again. 

Hurry up and wait apparently applied to the backcountry as well and the hours crawled by as the group waited for their resupply plane. 

“What do we do if they don’t show up?” He glanced over at the sound of her voice. She’d tired of the water quickly, and was now situated on the beach, her raven hair loose and drying in the breeze. It fell over her shoulders as she leaned over her journal, betrayed coy glimpses of her neck in between the locks. Paintbrush in hand, she adopted a serene, mysterious expression as she applied color to paper. He craned his neck curiously, wondering what she was painting in that little black notebook in her lap. In response to her question, he grunted.

“Ah, of course,” she said sarcastically, making a face, “Why didn’t I think of that?”

“If they don’t show, I guess we wait for tomorrow,” Sango said behind her. She was sprawled out in her swimsuit, absorbing as much of the summer warmth as she could in the wake of the cold stormy day before. A short distance away, Miroku was engaged in his favorite activity, ogling his fiancé. Kagome glanced at him before cracking a sly smile and turning back to her lap, exchanging her brush for a pen.

“I’m near the end of my food,” Kagome said, “If the plane doesn’t show tomorrow, I’m officially screwed.”

Grunt.

Turning to face him, Kagome arched a cynical eyebrow. 

“What,” she said, playful mischief sparkling in her eyes, “Are you going to hunt for us if we run out of food?”

Grunt.

“Neanderthal.”

And they fell into an easy companionable silence for a time, and there was something perfect and touching about that slow, sunny morning. They were surrounded by mountains, over one of which they’d crossed just the day before and the slopes were a lush and rich deep green. The water lapped lazily against the gravel beach, icy cold water warmed by the every present summer sun. The breeze was gentle and mischievous and played with their clothes and tugged at their hair. Songbirds sang, the occasional fish flipped and flopped as their dark, slender shapes patrolled the water’s surface for insects, and the group of two-leggeds folded into that world of harmony easily, innately. Clean air and sunshine, the only two requirements of happiness, was theirs in abundance. At some point in the day, Sango and Miroku vanished together and then it was just the two of them on the peaceful little beach.

“What’re you doodling in that thing?”

Kagome looked up abruptly, the look on her face almost akin to guilt. He narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

“Nothing…,” she said unconvincingly, “Just the mountains and stuff.”

He suddenly felt coltish, playful, and it brought him to his feet to peer over her shoulder. 

As he approached, she was a flurry of activity, frantically flipping pages until the journal fell open to a colorful, picturesque, and totally innocent scene of a mountain valley. 

“Huh, you’re actually not bad,” he remarked, earnestly impressed by the quick sketch and the detail she’d been able to include. The centerpiece of the composition was the fiery, bold mountain peak in stunning golden highlights from just a couple days before. 

“Gee, thanks.”

He leaned over her shoulder to flip the page over, his thick, heavy braid landing with a plop against her back. Inuyasha huffed a chuckle, catching sight of her spot on depiction of Miroku’s stupid, ogling expression from earlier that morning and his eyes glazed thoughtfully at her rough sketch of the weasel they’d spied even earlier that day. Her drawings were as lively as she was, with a warmth and a love of life that was somehow conveyed in a way beyond words and he found himself leaning in more as he flipped yet another page. 

Suddenly he was met with a stone faced, stern expression that he recognized immediately and it was like a jolt down his back to see his own visage staring up from the page. At first glance, his expression was cold and his eyebrows drew together while something in his stomach sank to think that this was how she saw him. But as he frowned down at his own face longer, more details seemed to emerge. She’d captured his eyes with a shocking realism and if he stared hard enough, he swore he detected a plea in the lines and shading of his eyes. Kagome coughed beside him, feeling her cheeks glow hot as she nervously waited for commentary on her sketch of him. 

“Nice.” Was all he said. He straightened back up and she tried to sigh discreetly in relief. She was a bit worried, nervous over how his expression closed off as he studied the sketch, but before she could ask, he changed the subject.

“That should go at the bottom of the dry bag when we get into the packrafts,” he said, “We’re guaranteed to flip in the next couple days.”

“ _ If _ we get those rafts at all…,” Kagome cut in. Inuyasha scoffed at her concern, his face relaxing again.

“They’ll come,” he said confidently, “They may be late, but they’ll come.”

And with perfect timing, as no more than a soft, distant hum, the first sign of humanity in six days appeared over the horizon. Inuyasha detected it first, standing and whipping his head in the direction of Bettles, eyes sharp and searching. Kagome also stood, taking her cue from Inuyasha and scanning the skies in the direction of his gaze. The faint, subtle hum grew into a low, distinct grumble and then a growl and then a fuzzy dot in the distance sharpened into wings and then she was staring at a small rotary plane with a proud red stripe painted along its fuselage. The bubble of relief popped inside of her and she was laughing and giggling as she stood to wave.

“Stop waving!” He chastised her, “That’s an emergency signal. You can wave with one arm, not two.”

“Oh… Whoops.”

The bush plane flew in low, circling over their heads as it scoped out its landing. Sango and Miroku came crashing through the foliage behind them and the grumble of the plane reverberated through her chest as it swooped over them. Then it banked heavily, curving back around, and like a swan, gracefully descended to a long, gliding stop on the lake. 

… 

“Alright, that’s the lot of it!” Fred said as a way of farewell before swinging himself back into the large metal bird. Four heads turned to watch as the little growling plane put-put-puttered to one end of the lake, and then with a grunt and a grumble, it began careening down the length of the water, the lift from its wings gradually pulling it up into the air. For the second time, Kagome watched the little hardworking piece of machinery disappear into the sky and she was struck with the same feeling of dissonance, knowing that that little plane was their last chance to bail from this venture, and now it was time to face the unnegotiable might of nature. She pursed her lips, gripping the journal she held tight to her chest, then took a long deep breath before turning to her companions. 

Miroku was complaining loudly as Inuyasha lashed one of the deflated packrafts to Sango’s pack. 

“Deal with it,” Inuyasha countered, “You’re the one who brought too much shit!”

The ponytailed young man grumbled, acquiescing and reluctantly hefted the overstuffed drysack, testing its weight and wondering how on earth he was going to strap it onto his pack. Kagome also had a resupply, and happily sifted through her renewed stash of food and snacks, cheerfully cracking open a beer.

“Ahh, the taste of civilization!”

Snort.

“You know you want one,” she joked, holding out a can toward him. The sun was high and hot and he rolled his eyes as he stepped up to accept the offering.

“How many of those did you bring?” He asked, eyeing her bulging sack with mild apprehension.

“Just enough for everyone to have three each day.”

“Seventy two fucking beers?!”

She looked up at him with an openly confused expression.

“Well,” she said, shrugging, “We’re gonna have plenty of capacity in the rafts, right?”

“And you’re just gonna carry it all on your back at the portages?”

She had the nerve to grin sheepishly.

“Well, Sango and I thought you guys could just make two trips?”

“Fucking hell!” Inuyasha groaned.

“Well…,” she pressed, deflating just a little, “The portages aren’t that long, right?”

And then a little gem. An expression he never graced her with before. A comical mixture of exasperation and humor left a strange, lopsided, begrudging smile on his face and she beamed up at him with an audacious wink. Sighing, he raked an annoyed hand through his bangs before shaking his head and grabbing her sack.

“You’re carrying the raft,” he said, nudging the roll of laminated nylon with his foot. Then, he turned to the rest, “Pack up folks, let’s get to the river.”

“We’re not inflating them now?” Kagome asked, frowning.

“Outflow’s too narrow,” he answered, “We’re huffing it to the river.”

Kagome now sported the same look of regret Miroku wore just moments ago, watching him stalk off with her heavy sack and she hurriedly moved to shove the bundled up packraft into the straps of her pack and shuffled to catch up. They backtracked up their original approach to the lake until they were well above the marshy tussocks and bobbing cottongrass. The refreshing dip in the lake was now just a memory and a sheen of sweat once again rolled off her cheeks and dripped from her chin. Some carried their life jackets, but Kagome made the mistake of wearing hers and the extra layer was unbearable in the heat and toil. It was late into the afternoon when the troupe finally managed to reach the river and by then, everyone eagerly dipped into Kagome’s beer stash for a thirst quencher. They decided to have an early dinner before tackling the river and it was when the sun was beginning to sag low in the sky and behind a few scattered clouds when they finally began the struggle of inflating the packrafts.

“How the hell is this thing supposed to work?”

Kagome fumbled with the bizarre device, it’s flapping, neon colored fabric tangling upon itself. Sango and Miroku were experiencing similar levels of frustration as they held up the manual inflating contraption.

Inuyasha examined the threaded spout at one end, matching it to the packraft nozzle. 

“I guess this thing goes here…,” he mumbled, screwing the parts together while Kagome struggled to keep the fabric straight. It gradually became clear how the pumping was going to happen and Sango glanced dubiously over at their progress.

“This is gonna take forever…,” she said, a concerned frown painted across her face.

“Then we’re wasting time,” Inuyasha answered her, taking the fabric ends from Kagome and holding the balloon like design open. Twisting the open end into his fist, he squeezed the captured air into the raft and reopened the balloon. It did look like a futile exercise and Kagome hovered over his shoulder nervously, more convinced than ever that they were doomed to be stranded there forever. Miroku tried to be creative with the fillbag, attempting to utilize the breeze to push more air into the raft with each pump. 

It took a significant amount of struggling and finagling before visible progress was made. The rafts were simple structures, made of sturdy thick rubber and really were just kayak shaped inner tubes with a bottom to hold passengers. It was a real jigsaw problem trying to tie down their packs and Inuyasha grumbled over their set up, wishing he’d simply brought his own kayak rather than deal with the rental. 

The river they were on was shallow, with the rafts bottoming out if they bore any more weight than just their supplies. The water tumbled and tripped over smooth gravel beds and the boats simply shimmied over top of the stones rather than any form of buoyant floating. Strange, hollow noises erupted from the giant, resonant hulls and the water made gentle slap-slap sounds as it pushed and prodded them while river rocks scraped and clawed at the bottoms. And so, an odd procession was witnessed traveling down river, two sets of rafts being pushed and pulled downstream attached to a towline, like dogs on a leash. And it was rough going, pebbles and stones shifting and slipping beneath their feet. Kagome winced as a particularly jagged rock struck the bony part of her ankle. With the sun so low and the river so cold, she was very quickly drenched to nearly the same degree as the day before and began shivering as she struggled to help Inuyasha heave and tug at the boat. After another tumble into the shallow, frigid river, firm, rough hands grabbed her by the shoulders.

“Just get to shore!” Inuyasha ordered, taking the tow line from her. 

“It’s ok,” she insisted, “I’m fine, I can help.”

“You’re turning blue,” he said, brushing her away, “Get to shore.”

He had to admit, he felt a bit of regret sending her away, the pout in her face clearly conveying how disheartened she was by his dismissal. But then, he’d never seen seen someone bounce back quite to brightly as she could. Trudging along the river tugging the unwieldy, bumbling raft behind him, he spied her drenched, raggedy figure hopping up the bank a little further on. She was bouncing from one foot to the next, and at first, he assumed she was trying to keep warm. Then she brought her hands to her mouth and began shouting at them.

“You got this guys!”

Sango and Miroku looked up startled. Sango immediately broke out into a grin, re-energized and gave the stubborn boat another tug. Inuyasha continued to frown at her in confusion. She laughed at him and continued shouting.

“Let’s go Inu, let’s go!”

Inuyasha groaned and tipped his head back, even as Sango and Miroku both picked up on her cheering and whooped and shouted in response before turning back to their raft. Inuyasha brought his head back upright and gave her a begrudging smile, shaking his head and rolling his eyes. She stuck out her tongue at him and continued shouting, jumping up and down and waving her arms. It served a dual purpose, keeping the mood light and upbeat, while also keeping her warm. And thus, an otherwise dreary trudge downriver turned into a dilapidated parade until they all finally decided they were exhausted enough for one day. 

… 

Camp that night was full of fire and smoke. The river had taken a lot out of everyone and none more so than Kagome. Eventually the feeling of uselessness weaseled its way into her mind and ignoring Inuyasha’s protests, she waded back into the river to do her part, tugging and slipping with the rest of them and now she huddled by the fire, shivering violently in her sodden clothes. The cold had a funny way of trickling into your skin. If she stayed still, her nerves could be fooled into thinking that she was warming up, but just a little shift of an arm, or a little drop of water from her hair would remind her of the heat she was losing in her wet clothes and the tremors would start renewed. Finally Inuyasha stood over her, his flannel lined jacket in hand, hauling her up by the arm.

“You gotta change,” he ordered, “I’ll take Miroku over there. Now strip and dry off!”

It was a humorous exchange and Sango giggled to herself as she followed Inuyasha’s advice before helping her friend. Miroku was complaining loudly about being dragged away from the fire but couldn’t escape Inuyasha firm grip and resigned himself to the ordeal of setting up camp away from their burning heat source while the girls changed. 

“Never thought I’d hear Inuyasha tell a girl to strip,” his ears overhead Sango say. A blush began to burn hot under his cheeks.

“Guess I just have that effect on people,” he heard Kagome respond.

“On this person especially…”

Miroku was staring at him with a broad, toothy grin and Inuyasha couldn’t bear it anymore, punching Miroku hard in the shoulder to remove his smirk. 

“What gives, man?” Miroku complained, punching him back.

“Shut up!”

Miroku waggled his eyebrows mockingly. “I didn’t say anything.”

And then because he had no real sense of self preservation, his grin returned. “Wish I got you telling Kagome to strip on video!”

“Shut. Up.”

Returning to the fire treated him to a view he wasn’t entirely prepared for. With their drenched clothes hung out over the rocks near the fire, Sango and Kagome stood together chatting, warming themselves and waiting for their stove to boil water. Kagome had very little to actually change into without digging into the very bottom of their shared dry sack and so she stood bare legged by the fire, his oversized jacket devouring her small frame and her hair tumbled over the collar, leaving little dark stains where the water began to seep into the fabric. The fire cast its orange, yellow hues over her skin and highlighted her hair. It popped and crackled and the glowing thrown embers danced beside her, giving her an almost mystical aura. She seemed quite content to stand there, pushing up the collar into her cheeks so that they bunched up under her eyes. And when she smiled to welcome them back to the fire, hot tea steaming in her hands, it was a bizarre, bittersweet kind of twinge that ran through his heart, to feel this soothingly peaceful, yet knowing how delicate and temporary it was.

… 

Later on that night, they reluctantly doused the fire and retired to their sleeping bags. It was oppressively silent in Kagome’s tent, despite the din of the rushing water nearby. Kagome pulled Inuyasha’s jacket higher up under her chin, absently rubbing the collar and smelling him in the fabric. It was oily and musty, layered with the scent of conifer needles and river clay. But there was a masculine scent there too and there was a part of her that enjoyed how it wrapped around her, protectively, and felt like an embrace. She was startled when he cut through the silence and spoke.

“Do I really look like that?”

She fell into confusion while she processed the question.

“Like… what?”

“In your drawing.”

Kagome blinked, frowned, and turned onto her side to face him. He was staring straight ahead, at the ceiling of her tent his lips twisted and pursed and made his expression anxious.

“Like what?” She asked, as gently as she could.

“Do I really look that mean?” And now he turned to her, an expression mirroring the one from her sketch. Her eyes widened to hear the words.

“You think it makes you look mean?” She asked, horrified.

He glanced away awkwardly. “Well, I don’t look friendly.”

“Weeeeell, you weren’t exactly friendly on day one,” she chided softly, her tone trying to strive for brevity. When his expression remained sullen and serious, she took a breath and sighed. She bit her lip, her voice dropping low as she responded.

“I don’t think you look mean,” she whispered, reaching over boldly to tip his chin up, forcing his eyes to meet hers, “But you look really… intense, like there’s a lot on your mind. Honestly, you’re like Mona Lisa, you make me want to know more about you.” 

He was drawn in by the earnestness in her gaze and an unconscious hand came up to clasp hers. Then his mouth twisted and he scoffed.

“Ain’t much to know.”

“A whole heckin’  _ lot _ to know,” she corrected, “Why you came to live out here. What do you do all day? What are the winters like? Do you ever want to come back to the lower forty eight? And most importantly, how did you survive as Miroku’s roommate for  _ four whole years _ ?”

That broke through the frown on his face. He huffed a half hearted laugh, a twitch in the corner of his mouth and she smiled at him in response. 

“You don’t have to spill everything,” she whispered, “It’s just how I interpret your long brooding silences.”

He rolled his eyes and huffed another laugh, releasing her hand and turned over onto his back. She turned around too, pulling his coat further up her face. While she felt bad for his interpretation of her sketch, she was very glad he had stopped there and not turned to the next page. Faces had always fascinated her with their capacity for expression, but his hard angles and sour expression had layers and depth like she’d never seen before. Further pages in her journal had several more studies of those layers and she was sure she’d die of embarrassment if he were to discover her growing fascination of his features. Kagome vowed to be more secretive of her doodling in the days to come. 

And then her mind drifted, lulled to sleep by the sounds of the river and winds and his strong breathing beside her.

* * *

A/N: hey folks! Sorry this took so long! Been traveling for almost 4 straight weeks… hope this update was ok, like i mentioned before, this story is gonna be a bit aimless and meandering so… :P

Anyways, if you’re at all curious, the packrafts they are using are Alpackaraft GNU 2-person. They’re a little quirky (or maybe I just had no idea what I was doing) but tough little buggers and I really want to get out there again with those little things. 

Also, part of the reason I felt like sticking in the watercolor bit was because of the Noatak Sketchbook (google: noatak sketchbook robin peterson artist in residence) we flipped through at the Gates of the Arctic visitor center at Bettles. It’s absolutely beautiful and I imagine Kagome to have a similar looking sketchbook by the end of their trip :)


	9. Beating warm against the sea

#  **The Call**

~ Kitty

**Chapter 8: Beating warm against the sea**

… 

_ “... the streams are singing bank-full, swaying softly through the level meadows and bogs, quivering with sun-spangles, swirling in pot-holes, resting in deep pools, leaping, shouting in wild, exulting energy over rough boulder dams, joyful, beautiful in all their forms.” _

_ ― John Muir _

… 

He roused that morning to the sound of her laughter mingling with the gasps and gurgles of the river. Sitting up, he was surprised she could make her exit without waking him, although admittedly, her stealth was probably greatly aided by the white background noise of being so close to the river. It was still early, the sun’s angle in the sky was still throwing pale pinks against the clouds but the colors were fading quickly as the solar orb gained more height. Allowing himself a wide-mouthed, toothy yawn, he stretched his arms and neck to and fro before slipping out of the fabric shelter and into the light of day. 

‘Bear cub.’

It was all he could think as he watched her little figure, still drowning in his large jacket, hopping clumsily around the boulders and stones in the river. She practiced her balance, waving her arms haphazardly in the air as she fought to steady herself. A small grey bird flitted past her and she nearly toppled over with a squeak as her head tried to spin around to follow the little speck’s flight. The Northern Shrike dipped down into the water, ruffling its feathers and shaking off droplets. Then the bird darted overhead again and again, Kagome tried to rotate her neck beyond her human capabilities and nearly found herself doused in the river had not a steady, firm hand grabbed hold of her arm.

“You’re no owl,” he said simply, bringing his other hand up to her other shoulder when she continued to fight for balance. “Think you can avoid breaking your leg long enough for me to make coffee?”

She giggled, rolling her eyes at him. “As long as you make me some too.”

“Deal.”

As he turned to stomp away, Kagome obligingly found herself a comfortable seat beside the ashes of last night’s fire. The breeze was cool and the sun was warm and she closed her eyes, content and placid as she soaked up the morning serenity. The little grey bird zipped by again and caught her attention, it’s sharp, black markings stunning against its steely grey feathers. 

“Shrike,” a voice behind her said, “That one’s also a vicious little fucker.”

“Is everything in Alaska an adorable ‘vicious little fucker’?” She reached out to accept her mug, feeling self conscious as her fingers brushed his. For his part, he made no indication to have noticed the contact.

“Only the carnivores,” he said, taking a sip from his coffee.

“So,” she said, giving him a sly, assessing look, “Does that make you an adorable ‘vicious little fucker’, too?”

He coughed into his drink and his voice, after he found it, tried to sound annoyed and grumpy. “Do I look ‘adorable’ or ‘little’ to you?”

He wasn’t quite prepared for the playful, sultry look she gave him, but he felt it, the way her eyes roamed up and down his body in response to his question. She bit the corner of her lip while the other corner curled up in a coy smile.

“Well…,” she said slowly, “those wouldn’t quite be the adjectives I’d use…”

Kagome had to laugh at the panicked look on his face and she winked at him, then freed him of her presence so he could breathe again. He gasped on several deep draughts of air before raising his mug to down his entire coffee in a single scalding gulp. Something about that look had his mind spinning and in a daze, it gradually dawned on him. 

She was flirting with him. 

_ ‘Well damn…’ _ he thought to himself,  _ ‘maybe I  _ **_have_ ** _ been a hermit for too long…’ _

In his confounded bewilderment, he didn’t notice the rest of their group stirring to life and was caught by complete surprise when a sudden weight dropped to his shoulder. 

“So,” Miroku said, crouching down beside him at the water’s edge. He had the water pump in hand and a string of empty bottles in the other.

“So, what?” Inuyasha asked testily, fairly certain the studiously pumping man was about to tease him relentlessly over the interaction he’d just had.

“So, I’m glad you and Kagome are getting along so well.”

_ ‘Bingo.’ _

“I was really worried at the beginning with the whole Kikyou doppelgänger thing.”

All of Inuyasha’s thoughts and musings were suddenly banished and he turned and frowned at Miroku.

“Why the fuck are you bringing that up now?”

Miroku shrugged. “Kagome’s a really nice girl,” he said, “She’s sensitive, too. She tends to worry too much about others well being before her own. She would have been walking on eggshells all week if she thought you were uncomfortable around her.”

Inuyasha’s frown deepened as he tried to discern just what Miroku was getting at.

“Well, good then,” he said. His lips were tight and he continued to stare at his friend suspiciously. He was certain this wasn’t all Miroku wanted to say.

The gasket seal in the water pump squeaked with each push, preceding a little splash of clean, filtered water filling the bottle. Squeak, splash, squeak splash. Eventually, Miroku straightened, shaking out his working arm, and repositioned himself to continue. 

“So,” he said after resuming, “What all happened with you and Kikyou in the end anyway?”

Even though he’d been bracing for it, Miroku’s question was a gut punch right in the diaphragm and Inuyasha felt it like a physical force. Miroku didn’t seem to truly expect an answer, and he went right along with his musings, monologuing while gazing out into the swirling, tumbling eddies in the river.

“You ghosted us for months, then suddenly we get a notice that your new forwarding address was somewhere in Nowhere, Alaska.” Miroku’s voice was strangely disembodied as he went on. He glanced up at Inuyasha and sighed.

“Look, I won't pretend to understand the relationship you had with Kikyou, but she fucked you up, man,” he said haltingly, for once sounding like he was struggling for words, “And I’m sure she left all kinds of skeletons behind, but you need to move on, Inuyasha. She’s in the past now, you can’t let her keep haunting your future.”

When no angry outbursts or fisted hand came, Miroku took it to mean his words had hit home. Water bottles filled, he stood, awkward patting Inuyasha on a stiff, hunched shoulder, before leaving him to his thoughts and returning to camp. Inuyasha stood by the river for a long time, watching the grey northern shrike dig down and around the water’s edge, and letting the trickling, giggling hum of the river drown out his senses. His lips were tight and his stance was stiff and his thoughts struggled to pin down a single cohesive thread to focus on. 

He was surprised, really, by his own reaction to Miroku bringing up the ghost haunting his present state. He felt his body’s agitation, the way his heart pounded and his palms sweated in his tightly closed fists. But it was nothing like the near hysterical panic he’d felt when Kagome’s smiling open face first turned to his and brought the memory of her look alike come crashing down upon him. It was a calmer state of mind and he rode through it with surprising ease. It was in the past. He breathed in and let it out in a careful stuttering sigh. It was in the past and one day, perhaps, he could open that part of himself he’d locked tightly away. But now, he found with considerable astonishment, he could push that box aside, set down the burden of its dark weight, and stroll back to camp where a brightly smiling face would welcome him back and remind him that the sun cast its warmth evenly on all creatures. Although, secretly, hidden even to himself, there was a small, selfish part of him than believed she saved a special brand of joy to smile just for him.

… 

“Alright,” Miroku said, straightening with a hand on each hip to examine his handy work, “That should hold together… I hope.”

Sango came up beside him and eyed the mess of straps and buckles with no small amount of trepidation. They were all tightly clad in neoprene shorts and socks in an attempt to feel warmer in the icy river and Sango looked ready for the raging rapids. Her fiance waited anxiously as she tugged and tested the top heavy bundle of packs teetering and swaying atop the front and back end of their inflated boat and glanced at Miroku with a look that most definitely did not inspire confidence.

“What?” he asked, “We’ll never no until we try it out!”

She made a face that said she was expecting everything to fail spectacularly, but instead, she said, “I guess so.”

Together, the couple bent down to heave and shove the laden boat into the shallow waters.

At the other packraft, Inuyasha and Kagome were experimenting with a different set up, using their dry sack and packs as seats in the main body of the boat but experiencing similar levels of concern with regards to the success of their configuration.

“I think we’re going to scrape up the bottom of the boat this way,” Kagome said, standing back and scratching her head. Inuyasha was fussing with the tie downs and growing frustrated as the flappy straps tangled with each other.

“We got all day to figure it out,” he mumbled, “As long as we don’t spring a leak, we’re good.”

“Oh my god, I hope not!” Kagome exclaimed, edging closer to peer over his shoulder. She giggled and covered his hands with her own.

“Here, let me try,” she said, taking the chaotic mess from him. He let go of the straps slowly, subtlely enjoying her hands on his for as long as he could. Tangled gear relinquished, he moved to test the rigidity of their boat, deeming the raft adequately inflated and when he turned around, she was already finished with her task and he took the straps from her to tie loosely to the sides of their raft. When he noted her curious glance, he explained.

“Something to grab onto when you fall overboard.”

Kagome coughed, raising her hands to her hips. “Ahem, excuse me?  _ When _ I fall overboard?”

Inuyasha shrugged nonchalantly. “You’re very accident prone,” he said, “I can’t be there to save you all the time.”

She tried to harrumph with mock indignance, but there was an obvious spark of genuine fear in her eyes and he moved quickly to assuage her concerns.

“Hey,” he said, reaching out a hand, “Don’t worry, I won’t let you drown.”

She eyed him before grabbing hold of his hand and letting him help her onto a comfortable seat in the raft. The river curved around a bend and out of sight and the water seemed deep enough to actually ride so Inuyasha carefully walked the boat into the middle of the river and hopped in, keeping as much weight as possible on the inflated sides of the raft to keep from bottoming out. Kagome squeaked as she felt the boat lurch and her knuckles were white around the shaft of her paddle. Reaching forward, even as the boat wobbled and swerved in the shallow eddies, Inuyasha planted a steady hand on her shoulder.

“You’re OK, I’ve got you.”

Ahead, he watched her dark head nod and felt her hand cover his for a squeeze, and then they both turned their attention to the current as it brought them closer to the riverbend and the unknown.

The shallow river was choppy and quirky, with a malicious sense of humor and a terrible penchant for sudden drops and tight corners and they were all thoroughly soaked before they even got to the first true set of rapids. Kagome’s adrenaline was racing through her veins and she hardly noticed her shivering as her ears fought to sift through the noise and the white water to hear Inuyasha as he barked instructions from behind her.

“Paddle right! Other right! Now forward! FUCK!”

Being on water was disorienting, and the threat of being **in** water was petrifying. Every boulder they bounced off threatened to dislodge her and her entire body would be thrown one way then the other and several times, they managed to slap paddles and entangle each other, causing their little raft to be thrown off course and then she would marvel at Inuyasha’s herculean strength as he strong armed the raft back into position to narrowly miss a pinch point or a very jagged looking rock. When the river finally seemed to calm down for a quick breather, Kagome took one look around at her surroundings and her jaws promptly dropped to the bottom of the boat as her eyes opened wide.

At some point during their rocky ride, they’d traveled into a canyon and the speckled grey walls hanging over the winding river outshone any great hall mankind could ever build. The sun was still young in the sky and its yellow light peered down at them shyly in slender, golden rays. It was as if the sun was peeking over the edge of the canyon walls and wondering what sort of crazies would subject themselves to the gauntlet of the Iniakuk River. 

“Gawk later, paddle now!”

There is no truer test of nature than to step into the element of water. Water is vicious in its wrath, be it howling rain or thrashing rapids and Kagome was quickly getting her fill of both on this little venture. The narrow canyon came together overhead like the large, gaping mouth of a whale as it swallowed them whole and then it was back to facing the angry, frothy waters. She had only a moment to look up, his voice and the thunderous waters filling her ears to the point of distraction while her eyes briefly took in the terrifying drop, watching two boulders funnel the water together and over to a white, foamy beyond and when their little, insignificant raft tumbled over, a hard bump launched her to the side and the river swallowed her like a hungry god accepting an offering.

She fought her instincts to right herself, unsure where it lay dormant in her mind to avoid standing on unsure footing against a current as strong as this. But it saved her as the waters carried her down river and his shouts were faint in the distance. Being at the mercy of a wild and lively river wasn’t an experience for the weak hearted. No amount of paddling with your arms, or kicking with your legs, could counter the river’s current and it took you where it willed, without a thought to the bashing boulders or suffocating waves. Kagome could hardly find opportunity to draw breath, every brief surfacing was quickly followed by a dousing. All the while, her life jacket struggled to keep her bottom safe from the bumping and the bruising of the stones below. She had the distinct impression that the river was giving her a spanking, punishment for even daring to brave its rapids. 

The whale of a canyon opened its mouth a short while later, spitting her out into an open valley, where the river shallows brought her to a halt along a wide gravel bed and she gingerly picked herself up to stand, dazed and certain she’d lost a few body parts in that ordeal.

“KAGOME!”

Distant shouts came from behind, all overshadowed by his resonating bellow.

“ **_KAGOME?!?!?!_ ** ”

Kagome turned to spot the worried faces of her friends, Sango and Miroku had beached their raft on the gravel bar and were rushing over to her. Meanwhile, the distant bright red of Inuyasha’s raft tumbled out of the canyon and was hurriedly being paddled towards shore. 

Sango got to her first, taking up her shaking, shivering hands and peering into her face with fright. “Are you alright? Should you be standing? How many fingers am I holding up?”

Her breathing was heavy as her brain slowly caught up with what had happened and then a bubble popped inside of her.

“Haha!” she laughed, hard enough to create a cramp in her stomach, “Oh my god! That was awesome! Let’s never do that again!”

Sango persisted her concerned look for a small moment more before cracking a toothy grin of her own, relieved that her friend seemed to be in one piece.

“You really gave me a heart attack back there,” she told her, releasing her hands and slapping her gently on the shoulder. Miroku blew out a raspberry as he sighed in relief, shaking his head. 

“She’s ok!” he shouted to Inuyasha who’d just hit the shore and was scrambling out of the raft. Miroku came forward to help tug the boat further up the bank but Inuyasha had eyes for only one person. He was sloshing up the gravel bar, absently dropping the towline when it went taut in his slack hands.

“KAGOME!”

Through her laughter, she didn’t notice the stricken look on his face and only after he grabbed her by the shoulders, roughly spinning her around to face him, did she manage to focus her eyes on the distressed trembling man, the absolute terror in his eyes stopping her mid guffaw. His arms were shaking, like he’d exhausted all his strength in an effort to paddle his way to her rescue and he was thoroughly drenched from head to toe, water running in rivulets down his cheeks like tears. His throat could not produce words, and instead his body moved without thought, crushing his body against his, hard enough to press the air from her lungs and he clung to her with a desperation that belied some deeper trauma that recent events could not account for. Kagome raised her hands to return the embrace while Sango and Miroku looked on, unsure whether to smirk at the bear hug or to frown with concern over the uncharacteristic display of emotion.

“It’s ok,” Kagome found herself saying, almost cooing as though he were a child just woken from a nightmare. “It’s ok, I’m ok, it’s ok.”

… 

It took a long time for heart beats to return to a normal cadence and when their adrenaline returned to baseline, they all found themselves feeling drained and ready for a midday snack. Kagome was still shivering, and Inuyasha had silently went about gathering wood and starting a fire, his expression intense and stiff, his mind far away in thought. He eventually wandered off into the hills overlooking the next bend in the river, muttering that he would scout the rapids up ahead. Sango and Miroku were embroiled with lunch preparations but Kagome watched him go with some apprehension, feeling as though she’d gotten a glimpse of something deep, dark, and secret in the way he’d held her and she felt compelled to discover just what it was that created the look of abject horror he’d worn while rushing up to her.

“Here’s yours, Kagome,” Sango said, tapping her shoulder with the rehydrated packet. Kagome accepted it absently but continued to gaze off in the direction Inuyasha had disappeared.

“He’ll be fine,” Miroku said, mouth full and chewing, “He just had a scare, he’ll be back.”

“I think it was more than that.”

Miroku sighed, reaching over to nudge at her food with his spoon. “He’s always been like this. He just needs to process things on his own. He always comes back.”

‘ _ Except when he didn't…, _ ’ Kagome couldn’t help but think. Afterall, thus far, he hadn’t come back from his self imposed exile in Alaska. Some things you just can’t recover from in solitude and isolation. And she felt that there was something about his reaction to her dip in the water that reached beyond just a superficial fright and clawed at something far deeper inside of him. 

With a groan, she stood up slowly, feeling her sore and battered limbs protest the movement. Gingerly, she stretched her arms and shifted her weight from foot to foot. Sango glanced up at her and winced in sympathy. 

“How’re you feeling?”

“Alive… I think,” she said with a grin. Kagome glanced around the gravel bar, marveling over how just a half hour ago, she was convinced she was going to die, or at least be severely maimed by the river. And now, they were lounging on a gravel beach, the golden sun gently drying their clothes and hair, about to dig into a nice, hot meal. She sighed. “I’m gonna walk around to make sure my body still works.”

Sango gave her a knowing look but nodded. With the sun bright and hot at her back, Kagome set off, bouncing carefully on her knees and flexed her ankles, absently munching on her lunch as she slowly meandered down the overgrown game trail Inuyasha had disappeared down. The path he took was steep, and very soon, she was hot and sweaty, fighting her way up the cliffside and now very certain that, at the very least, her legs and knees were operational. Her smashing and crashing through the branches obviously alerted him well before she actually happened upon him, but he made no sound to give away his presence and she yelped in surprise when she nearly tripped over his seated figure. 

“Hey,” she said, not quite sure how to approach him. He was seated against a fallen log, his arms and legs strewn around him like discarded clothing. Everything, from the way his palms lay facing up to his sagging torso slumped against the rough bark, told a story of heartbreak and tragedy. More than concern, Kagome felt a fear for the man before her that clamped around her heart like a vice and she immediately dropped to her knees beside him. Her eyebrows knit together with concern.

“Hey,” she said softly, “Are you alright?”

He didn’t react to her right away, first blinking his eyes like waking from a dream. He turned his head, meeting her gaze but not seeing her. Then slowly, dilated eyes came into focus and then one more blink before he truly seemed to recognize her.

“Kagome.” 

“Yup, that would be me.”

He blinked a few more times, registering the slight tone of humor in her voice, and remembering what an appropriate response was. With a snort, he answered her.

“Yup, that’s you.”

“Inuyasha?”

He grunted, casting his eyes aside, down the opposing cliff face and down into the river. Then he followed up with a grim, “Yup, that would be me.”

“Are you OK?”

She studied his profile as he heaved a long, drawn out sigh, his back sagging further against the fallen tree. He didn’t meet her eyes.

“Yeah,” he said quietly, “Yeah, I’m OK.”

She continued frowning at him. Nothing in his demeanor suggested that he was ok. Unsure how far she should push him, she carefully stepped over the log and settled herself beside him, their shoulders only barely touching. She sat uncomfortably for a while, desperately wishing to soothe whatever it was that was clearly bothering him but fearful that she would only push him further away. Finally, she heaved a sigh, resorting to a primitive form of comfort for lack of any better ideas.

As she descended from her exhale, slowly, carefully, she let her body fall to the side, dropping her head to his strong, muscled shoulder, and gently leaned her weight into his warm, breathing body. For a tenuous, anxious moment, she wasn’t sure what reaction she would get from him, and could only hope that whatever small amount of comfort she received from the physical contact would be replicated for him. 

A breath.

Maybe two.

Then suddenly he let out a long, shuddering sigh. His sagging body still held tension but as he began to release it, she felt his weight lean onto her and wordlessly, she shifted, turning toward him and bringing her arms around his shoulders. It was a silent, small moment. No words were spoken. No tears were shed. Just a quiet, tender moment. She felt him breath, a slight pressure against her side as his lungs expanded and collapsed. Around them, the breeze continued to blow through the dense branches and the birds sang their lazy summer songs. And below it all, the constant roar of the river they must continue to face for the next five days. She wasn’t sure how long they sat together, each to their own thoughts and drawing some amount of comfort from their shared contact. Her freeze dried meal had congealed and turned cold when Inuyasha finally shifted, sighed, and sat up. He glanced at her meal, tipped it with a finger to glance inside, then wordlessly nicked her spoon from her hand and took a taste.

She laughed at the face he made, reclaiming her spoon and forced herself to take a mouthful. It wasn’t gourmet, but it was nourishment, and it was necessary for the ordeal ahead. They looked at each other, each somehow rejuvenated and centered, and a twinkle exchanged from her eyes to his and they both trekked back down to the gravel bar, grimacing as they took turns force feeding themselves the calories in her little food packet and rejoined Sango and Miroku for the next portion of their river journey.

… 

And that journey turned out to be on foot. Between Inuyasha’s reluctance to put Kagome back on the river, and the next stretch being littered with class five plus maneuvers that even Miroku’s blasé attitude could not justify, there was little option but to portage the next mile and a half of the river. So with packrafts, paddles, beer, and other survival necessities, they proceeded to load the gear on their backs and tackle the dense, overgrown, and very steep land route to bypass the turbulent river. It did indeed take multiple trips, and when they reached the peak of the short portage, Inuyasha and Miroku, with a grunt and a thump, dropped their heavy packs and wearily turned around to retrieve the last of their belongings. Sango watched the pair leave before turning with a wink to Kagome.

“Beer up top before carrying all this shit down?”

“Gladly,” Kagome answered and she eagerly lightened her load of two twelve ounce cans, tossing one to Sango and cracking open hers. 

“Ok, now to shed even more weight,” Kagome said to Sango before turning for the trees. They giggled to each other over the sound of their streams and, feeling significantly jollier, took up the heavy, sweaty packs and began the huffy, dusty scramble back down to the river.

The calm waters they dropped down to were a beautiful, deep, mystic blue and Kagome couldn’t help but stare into the abyss when they made it to the small, sheltered cove nestled amongst the trees. The water that streamed into the pool was bordered by two, tall cliffs, standing like guardians over them as they carefully laid down their packs. Panting, they eyed each other, before each making squinty faces of painful resignation, turning back the way they came to huff and puff their way back to the very top of their portage, gingerly pulling the next two discarded packs onto their shoulders, grimacing over the cold, slick, sweat soaked shoulder straps of their respective new loads and hauling the gear down to dump alongside their own at the deep, blue pool. By this time, Kagome was dripping with sweat and she very quickly resolved to remedy the discomfort.

Inuyasha, slipping and panting as he descended down the steep embankment, pushed past the last of the branches barring them from the river just as he heard a splash of a body meeting icy cold water.

“Fuck!” He heard her shout, “Mother fucking cocksucker!”

With a very curious and rather astonished face, he stepped onto the crunchy gravel, Miroku close behind him, arms laden with rolled up packrafts and life jackets, to see Kagome hurriedly scrubbing herself in the river before beating a hasty exit. The splashing water creating a veritable, glittering halo behind her, she could have been the very definition of a heavenly maiden from mythology, had the extreme cold not produced an entertaining stream of profanity from her as she struggled not to scream. She glanced up as she scrambled back up the gravel bar and took one look at the wide grin on his face and stuck out her tongue.

“Jump in,” she dared him, “Water’s great.”

“As I can see…,” he said, setting down his load and snagging a beer from the stash the girls had set up in the river to get cold. Miroku copied his actions before inching towards the water until the ripples lapped at his water shoes, just barely brushing the toes inside..

“Yow, that’s cold!” he shouted, “Nope, I’ma stay here.”

He groaned as he sat down heavily beside Sango, lightly tapping her beer can with his but Inuyasha decided a dip in the river was a great idea. The pool they’d descended to was deep, colored a dark, pristine blue and the high, sheer cliff face leaning over it was a perfect diving platform. He waved off Kagome’s concern as he set down his beer and sloshed to the other side of the river in order to scale the cliff for a better view. 

Even the short height of six or seven feet above the water transformed his perception of the cove below. Kagome’s intent, open face stared up at him solemnly, carefully observing him as he inched to the edge of the rock. Dirt and leaves and rotting twigs scattered beneath his feet, sprinkling the water below and floating downstream. The branches on the trees surrounding him seemed to hold him back, tugging at his raggedly shirt and snagging his braided hair. It was high time he brushed it. A short intake of air, then he stepped off the edge, bringing his legs together in anticipation of breaking the waters surface. 

Plunging into water was like taking a leap into a new world. It’s like a rebirth. The cold, silky embrace of the river came up over his head and the only sounds he could hear were the swishing current the beating of his own heart. Bubbles peeled off his body like a veil and he curled into himself as he sank. The underwater realm was a strange and alien place, yet nostalgic and familiar all at the same time. Ignoring the burning in his lungs, he cracked his eyes open to gaze up at the distant sunlight, rippling and shifting as the river flowed by. His toes brushed the smooth, round stones at the bottom and he carefully positioned himself for a push to the surface. Unfurling, with a smooth, strong thrust, he launched his body upward to the light, breaking the surface with a sharp gasp for air. Water droplets flew from his skin and his hair as he swung his head around, casting his gaze around himself and spotting the shore. Her eyes were concerned as she watched him and her relief seemed to wash through her and invite him closer. With long, powerful strokes, he paddled his way back and she met him part way, a towel in one hand and a wide smile brightening her face. 

“Well, that looked fun,” she said, “But you had me worried there when did you didn’t come up right away.”

He made no move to accept the towel so she took it upon herself to drape the cloth over his head, pressing in briefly around his skull before bashfully dropping her hands.

“I’m ok,” he said. His stare was bright and direct as he spoke and there was a shining, lively light in his eyes. It was a strange way, water had, to both bring devastation and rejuvenation all in a single windy river and Kagome smiled back at him, finally convinced that the shadow had passed. Behind them, Miroku and Sango had rested and begun reinflating the rafts and very soon, they were back on the water, adjusting their seats, tightening their grips on their paddles, and bracing themselves for the next test the river would send send their way.

… 

“So I should just focus on balancing on the raft?” 

“More or less.” 

The river was calm for a very short section before a modest set of baby rapids broke up the monotony and prompted a quick river safety lesson. While Inuyasha and Miroku, being both the heaviest and the most experienced, were seated in the back where they had ultimate control, the girls quickly learned there were still significant actions they could take to impact whether they would experience the river from above, or from within. 

“If nothing else, just counterbalance the boat and keep your head down so I can maneuver.”

“I don’t need to help paddle?”

“Nah, the river’s moving fast enough on it’s own, just focus on staying  _ in _ the boat.”

Kagome nodded, making a face to herself. “Sounds easy enough.”

Grunt.

She giggled and turned to smile back at him, only to have him nod his chin toward something up ahead.

“Incoming!”

“I’m on it!” she answered him, bracing herself and partway standing, letting her legs cushion her against the rocking and bumping of the water and the rocks. She wasn’t sure if this was in any way correct in terms of boating skills and technique, but fuck it, she was staying out of the river at all cost! Around them, another canyon rose up its walls, shading them from the sun and looming high overhead. She had to swallow hard around the lump of trepidation in her throat and behind her, Inuyasha set his jaw, determined to bring them safely to the other side of the rapids. Fearful anxiety transformed quickly into giddy excitement, then extreme, pinpoint focus. The body knew instinctively when its survival was on the line and very quickly, extraneous concerns, worries, and every other stray thought was cast aside. Every firing nerve concerned itself with maneuvering the ride, anticipating and reacting, with all of life’s lessons in physics and coordination called to bat. Her muscles positively sang, tensing and releasing. Never in her life had her body ever moved so innately, every fiber contributing to preserving this beautiful creation of evolution. 

When they paused briefly in an eddy, Inuyasha immediately concerned himself with ensuring her safety.

“You ok?”

But for once, it was Kagome who couldn’t respond with words. Instead, she whirled around, her eyes glittering and her smile wide. She was laughing, her entire body energized, and after a brief moment of incredulous shock, an unconscious smile found its way onto his face as well.

“That. Was.  _ Fucking _ amazing!!!” she exclaimed, finally remembering her words. “Absolutely amazing!”

She shouted at Sango as their blue boat made its way through the rapids and Sango and Miroku sent back a chorus of whoops and victorious shouts. 

“Hells yeah!” Sango shouted, shaking her paddle above her head and letting out a warcry. “Bring it on, river!”

Her first dip was certainly not her last. Rafts capsized and the river tested them relentlessly but they all remained in one reasonably whole piece, though slightly disheveled, by the time they rounded a corner to a lovely sheltered cove bounded by gentle, forested slopes and decided it was time to end the day.

“Oh my god,” Kagome panted as she scrambled out of the boat and onto shore, her smaller dry sack in hand, “Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god.”

She was shivering badly, hardly capable of releasing the buckles of her life jacket, and desperate to strip off her sodden, clinging clothing without a care or regard to the rest of the party. Abandoning Inuyasha to handle beaching their boat on his own, she immediately sought out a convenient boulder to semi coverself and promptly began stripping. 

“Get it off, get it off!” Her teeth were clattering with each other as she muttered to herself. 

“Agh, dude! Cover yourself!” Kagome whirled around, startled by the disgust in his voice, finding herself staring at the bare backend of her best friend’s fiance and she shrieked as she turned back around, ducking further behind the boulder. Emblazoned into her mind’s eye, the images of three tight bare bottoms glowed like full moons. Apparently they all had the same idea, the cold having sapped a great deal of their energies and inhibitions. There was only comforts and discomforts of a physical kind and all other concerns were unimportant triflings. In very little time, Kagome straightened a sigh, her body still trembling from the cold and she carefully stepped out from behind the boulder, the soles of her bare feet tender against the bumpy stones. Her wet clothes lay around her disarray and her skin tingled as blood began to circulate down to her extremities, tentatively, as if unconvinced they’d seen the last of the cold river for the day. Shyly, she peeked through her lashes at Inuyasha, mildly disappointed by how quickly he’d changed and was reclothed and already turning his attention to fire and stove. As she picked up her things and came closer, he glanced up and quickly slipped off his coat.

“Here,” he said, thrusting the jacket into her arms. 

“Oh, no,” she exclaimed, pushing back, “I have layers.”

“Get ‘em later,” he said, forcing her to take the thick material into her arms. With a sigh and a soft smile, she accepted the offer and revelled in the feel of the soft flannel against her skin. Gradually, Sango and Miroku joined them around the small but growing fire. The stones and boulders of that small gravel bar were quickly put to good use and impromptu dry racks. There was beer that night, and a large hearty supper, but after such a day, they all decided a whiskey nightcap was strongly required. And later, the boats were piled up and weighted down with rocks, and they all slowly trudged up the surrounding slopes for softer ground to set up camp.

It had been a draining day, and they retired early. But when Inuyasha pushed back the fabric door of the tent, he paused in surprise. Kagome’s sleeping bag lay unused, tightly zipped and ready for her. But the girl was gone. Swallowing a brief surge of fright, Inuyasha straightened up, spinning around to search for her among the sparse conifers. It took several scans of the surrounding hills before he spotted her, small and crouched in the distance. She’d chosen a small flat bluff above the tent, sitting so still, she may as well have turned to stone. But her expression was perplexing, her brows furrowing and her lips twitching as though distraught. With a look of concern, he climbed up beside her, leaning over her curled figure.

“Kagome?”

She sniffed and blinked, glancing up at him. He started to panic when a single tear escaped her eyes and trickled down her cheek but she laughed at his stricken look, shaking her head and tugging at his leg for him to sit. Then she gestured downstream, their campsite high enough to overlook the next turn the river made before disappearing behind the high walls of the canyon. Tall spruce stood tall and solemn over the frothy waters and grey sloping cliffs constrained the river to its winding course. The sun was fading low in the sky, its golden light tinged with red and pink, and gradually fading to purple and the two figures shifted and sighed together as they absorbed the peaceful scene. Eventually, Kagome took a long deep breath and leaned heavily against him. There was a heat between them, and it glowed where their bodies made contact.

“It’s just… perfect,” she whispered, her voice hushed in awe and reverence, “It’s wild and beautiful and perfect.”

* * *

A/N: If anyone is interested at all in the route of this trip, pm me and I can share the caltopo route map. As frightening and as much of a logistical/planning nightmare as it was, I would definitely recommend if you have a hankering for adventure (mosquitos and hypothermia aside, 12/10 would recommend). There’s also a great youtube video of a couple adventurers rafting the entire thing (we only jumped in part way). It’s one of the first hits you get if you search Iniakuk River.

Chapter title from yet another john muir quote :P


	10. Strength to body and soul

#  **The Call**

~ Kitty

**Chapter 9: Strength to body and soul**

… 

_ “A walk in nature walks the soul back home” _

_ ― Mary Davis _

… 

Morning tapped slowly at her consciousness the next day. The first part of the waking world that crept into her awareness was a stiffness in her joints and when she shifted inside her sleeping bag, all the abuse from yesterday came rushing back to her as her body complained loudly. She let out a long, sighing groan in response.

A chuckle beside her alerted her to her tentmate’s wakefulness. Slowly, the vertebrae in her neck creaking like rusty gears, she turned her head to glance at him.

“Sore?”

“Nnnnngh…”

Inuyasha chuckled, a soft, sympathetic smile crossing his face. In that little moment, Kagome blinked, then tried very hard to focus. His eyes were warm and bright, as if he were smiling directly into her soul. This face, this look, she would try her hardest to remember, and the way it seeded a little ember deep inside her chest. They lay there, gazing at each other, the sunlight slowly warming the air inside the tent, gradually soothing her aching bones until she felt that maybe, just maybe, she could possibly sit up to face the day. Inuyasha beat her to the punch and carefully pulled himself into a seated position. He was on the downhill side of the tent and so when he unzipped the door and pushed aside the fabric, they were both forced to pause and take in the sweeping view. Compared to the quiet serenity of the sleepy sunset hours earlier, the morning light seemed to be playfully inviting them outside, adding a touch of innocence to the forested Alaskan wilderness around them. The river appeared friendly from this height, harmless even, as if yesterday’s gauntlet had been a mere prank. And further in the distance, mountain peaks that had been masked by the colorful dying throes of an aging sun the night before now stood tall, stoic, and proud, guarding the vast landscape. Sitting up and leaning forward so that the front of her shoulder pressed against his back, she sighed, wide open eyes taking in the picturesque morning.

“Now that’s a view,” she said. They sat frozen for a breath, and then, to her great relief, she felt him lean back into her so that they balanced each other and held each other upright. She couldn’t tell if the tension in her chest was due to her heart straight up stopping, or if it was beating so fast it was humming. Pressed against her, she felt his breath expand and compress his chest as he sighed.

“Yeah…”

She didn’t know how long they stayed like that, the breeze lifting their bangs as it swept through their tent. He’d heave a sigh, sinking into her further, and she’d heave a sigh, dropping her chin to his shoulder. It was a peaceful moment that hid so much excitement. The ambiguity of their relationship, with so much unspoken, created a strange sort of thrilling tension between them and neither were particularly willing to directly clarify it. So the moment stretched out for as long as they could take it, before a rustling in the next tent over told them that this private time was coming to an end. Kagome shifted, carefully recentering herself while Inuyasha turned, looked down at his lap, then moved to exit. He didn’t look at her or speak a word, but just for a brief second, his hand brushed against hers before she was left in the empty tent.

“Kagome,” she murmured softly to herself, shaking her head, “Girl, you’re in trouble…”

Hearing voices outside brought her back to the present and she rediscovered her bruises as she tried to extract herself from the tent.

“Owww…,” she groaned as she emerged. Sango scoffed nearby and Kagome turned to make a face at her so called friend.

“Hey, I’m feeling it too,” Sango said in response to the look of grumpy betrayal Kagome sent her way. As if to prove it, she raised her arms above her head, wincing as the joints in her back popped and cracked. Kagome rolled her eyes, letting out a long groan as she tried to stretch as well, bending down to touch the ground. 

“I feel old,” she grumbled, moving stiffly around the tent. It was slow going that morning, everyone seemed to move gingerly and carefully, with more than enough sore bottoms and muscles to go around. It took a while for tents to be packed away and for them to trudge back down to the water’s edge. The giggle and gurgle of the river sounded like the Iniakuk was laughing at them, taunting them for their injuries and preparing a new set of hurdles with gleeful anticipation of their return to its waters. How playful and sprightly that naughty river was! Gratefully receiving her share of the freshly brewed coffee, Kagome stumbled towards the river, finding a large smooth boulder to perch herself atop, and sipped the dark liquid slowly, eyeing the river as she mentally tried to prepare for the ordeal of the day.

When her mug was drained, she turned to glance back at her companions, taking in their looks of sleepy grumpiness, Miroku’s eyes squinted shut as if unwilling to admit the day had started. His face was pinched and brought to mind the unhappy, reluctant image of a newborn baby, displeased with being roughly pushed into the bright, crazy world, and her lips twisted and tightened and finally broke apart into laughter.

“Ugh, what are you laughing at?” Miroku grumbled crossly. He was clearly sore from the previous day of hard paddling, arms stiff and fingers slack. He held his mug in both hands and, even then, seemed to struggle with the ordeal of bringing the cup to his lips. Sango was the more industrious of the pair, carefully testing her neck and shoulders, rotating them through their full range of motion, and Kagome decided to emulate her. Standing to come closer to breakfast preparations, she began the motions of limbering up for their next section of white water.

Their clothes had dried overnight, and Kagome distributed the articles to their respective owners. The densely woven fibers where embedded with small grains of sand and gravel and it took many rigorous shakes to clear it all out. 

“Ok, everyone look upriver!” Kagome announced, ducking behind the washed up remains of a tree that had succumbed to the river. Inuyasha, mind not entirely ready to process speech yet that morning, glanced over at her in reaction to her shout, eyes widening as she slipped off her pajama bottoms. But rather than taking in the roundness of her shape or the tone of her legs, his eyes were drawn to the angry red welts decorating the skin of her backside and he winced before quickly ducking his head and turning around. Several of her bruises were already beginning to darken to blue and purple and he mentally hardened his resolve to keep her safe and uninjured for the remainder of the trip. It would be quite a task as there were still long stretches of meandering canyon and plenty of white water to go before reaching the Alatna river, which would take them down to a small village to be flown out. Eventually, bellies were filled and caffeine was consumed. Warm sleeping wear was exchanged for insulating neoprene and boats were packed. They were ready to tackle the day.

… 

“Come on! Is that all you’ve got?” 

Inuyasha had to roll his eyes and huff a chuckle. “I wouldn’t go challenging the river like that if I were you,” he called, grinning and laughing to himself when she turned around to stick her tongue out at him.

The next several bends in the river were fierce but manageable, and Kagome had learned a lot the previous day. Her antics at the front of the boat were a ceaseless source of amusement for him, as she bounced on her seat, eager for the next challenge. 

Hunger. She faced adventure like she was ravenous for it. And the canyon they traversed delivered in spades. She was never still, even when the waters weren’t rushing. Her head spun this way and that, and her shifting would be transmitted to him in the way the raft rocked and tipped. And then she’d gasp as her balance faltered, before catching herself and giggling, turning to smile back at him with a liveliness in her eyes that forcefully pulled a smile to his face, even as he sighed and shook his head over her naive excitement. He felt her joy and awe inside his own chest, despite his well-versed familiarity with the wilderness around them. The river cut a deep, savage path through the grey, hard rock and created walls around them like a gateway to another world. Overhanging arches and grand monoliths stood above them, topped with swaying spruce trees that waved down at them like spectators at an arena, watching tributes being lead to their next match. Here and there, their little rafts floated close enough to the steep, majestic walls of their canyon and Kagome would reach out a small, delicate hand to feel the rough, cold stone. No cathedral in the world could make one feel so small, and no creation of man could touch the soul the way a single, fleeting contact with wild, river-carved stone could strike at your core. 

And then turbulence returned, splashing and drenching and then she was shivering and laughing and shrieking, developing her sea legs and an intuition for the unpredictable river. She was strong, her body moved and flowed with a harmony that matched the beat and pulse of the forest surrounding her. And, though new to this habitat, she was gradually gaining mastery of the river, confidence rising with each rocky splash.

Turning the next bend and the river was calm again, treating them to their reward, with glimpses of blue sky in between the tall stone walls. The rockface was tall and sheer one one side, and then Kagome glanced to the other side and gasped, catching Inuyasha’s attention and he glanced up. 

“Oh my god, oh my god, look!” she exclaimed, pointing eagerly to the side where a small, feeder creek was pouring into the river.

Tight and narrow, the little trickle of water had carved a deep, deep cleft in the rock, creating a maze in the canyon that seemed both inviting and daunting all at the same time. A sliver of sunlight glittered deep in the narrow gorge and then they drifted away, the view clipping off as though a door had been closed. Kagome turned to him, breathless from the view.

“You could tell me that’s the path to Terabithia and I’d believe you!”

“Guess, in a sense, it is,” he answered shrugging. Kagome beamed back at him happily then brought up her shoulders in a brief shiver before turning around. Inuyasha saw this and frowned. They had many more miles of canyon to float through and sunlight struggled to reach them down at the bottom of the gorge. 

“You cold?” he asked, “We can stop to have a fire.”

She paused mid paddle, tilting her head to consider the suggestion, then turned back to him, almost sheepishly. “Yeah,” she said, I think I’d like that.”

… 

Schedules were a thing to be scoffed at in the backcountry. They stopped where they willed and snacked when they were hungry. And so, Inuyasha turned to Sango and Miroku behind them, waving his paddle and gesturing for the next gravel bed, and the little caravan quickly made a push for the shore, beaching themselves and set up a crackling fire in very short order.

“Alright,” Miroku said, setting down his bright blue bear bin in the gravel and prying it open, “I got chocolate bars and nut bars and beef jerky.”

“And we’ve got the beer in the cooler,” Sango said, jerking a thumb at the little pile of cans in the river. Inuyasha snorted, shaking his head.

“What?” Kagome asked, standing beside the fire, “It’s liquid bread!”

Grunt.

“And it’s good for morale.”

Scoff.

“And nothing beats a cold beer by a hot fire.”

Inuyasha groaned and rolled his eyes, but he snagged a couple cans anyways and moved to stand close to her. 

“Oh, we only just put them in the river,” Kagome protested, “They’re probably not cold yet.”

“But you are,” he countered, popping the cans open and handing her one. “Warm beer for you until you stop shivering.”

She tried to give him her worst glower, to which he scoffed to hide a chuckle. His lips twitched but his eyes smiled, even as he pressed the can into her hands. His jacket was once again deposited around her shoulders and she sank into it gratefully, her body disappearing until she was a strange, round fabric lump with only a head sticking out the top. Inuyasha watched her askance for a breath, a tickle in his chest, while he took in the details of her profile, before standing and moving off to gather more wood.

Snacks were consumed and bodies warmed. Eventually, under threat of gathering grey clouds, the troupe decided it would be best to move on. As they tugged their boats back to the river, Kagome turned to Inuyasha with a spark in her eye.

“Can I try steering?”

Miroku paused in tugging at his raft, glancing over at Inuyasha to observe the reaction. His roommate had been notoriously solitary throughout college, to the point of single handedly completing group projects whenever a class called for cooperative teams. It was something Miroku had taken shameless advantage of. So he was surprised to witness Inuyasha nod, willingly placing his well being in someone else’s hands. Inexperienced hands. Amused, he edged closer, impressed by the patience with which Inuyasha explained the basics of paddling around obstacles and how to read the river. He would have continued to eavesdrop had Sango not grown impatient, coughing to get his attention. Obligingly, he returned to hefting the packraft, splashing in the shallows and positioning it for her to climb aboard. Sango was also sneaking glances at Inuyasha and Kagome and when she met his eyes again, he waggled his eyebrows at her, nodding his head towards the rafting lesson, to which Sango just rolled her eyes. 

“I’d say things are going well,” he called up to her. He watched her dark head shake from side to side.

“Impressively well,” she called back wryly. They were upstream of the other pair and it was an amusing show, watching Kagome’s clumsy paddling and hearing Inuyasha’s encouragement. Who’d have thought that Inuyasha of all people could be an attentive and competent instructor? Her memories in school when it came to Inuyasha’s “help” with homework often amounted to him storming off in frustration whenever someone couldn’t pick up a concept quickly enough. Now he was guiding Kagome through the various pushing and pulling strokes, correcting her gently and demonstrating the movements several times for her to observe. They were chattering easily and the sound of their voices was interspersed with fits of laughter as Kagome conquered this or that maneuver. The river was mellowing out, becoming a perfect practice course for a novice rafter and even Sango was considering swapping with Miroku for a chance to tackle the river. She watched her friend for a time, a gentle, if not amused, smile on her lips before sobering as a thought crossed her mind.

“Did Inuyasha ever tell you what happened between him and Kikyou?” Sango asked suddenly. Relying on the ever constant rush of water to hide their words, Sango felt brave enough to inquire on the taboo subject.

Miroku heaved a sigh. “Nothing,” he replied, “I can’t tell if she dumped him, or cheated on him, or anything. For all I know, maybe she turned out to be a man.”

Sango snorted, leaning back in the boat and enjoying the river’s gentle rocking. “You always have to work Jack in don’t you,” she said sardonically, “But seriously, Inuyasha was completely traumatized. And yesterday… Kagome’s right, there was something off about him yesterday after Kagome first fell in.”

Miroku heaved a sigh, agreeing with Sango. “I have no idea what happened or why it all ended. I could never get a read on Kikyou, and she couldn’t stand us.”

Now Sango heaved a sigh, thinking back to their university days. Kikyou had exacerbated Inuyasha’s solitary nature, isolating him from everyone straight up through graduation. Rather than a healthy relationship, it was as though she considered him a possession which she guarded jealously, only to suddenly discard him. “Do you know what Kikyou’s up to these days?”

“No clue,” Miroku answered her, shrugging, “She never had any social media. Last I heard, she was offered a job in Boston or something.”

“And Inuyasha went off with her.”

Miroku made a face, stabbing his paddle into the water. “I can’t believe he turned down that offer. He was so excited to get the job, it paid well, he would have had it made.”

“Then he disappears for a year and winds up in Alaska.”

“Yup.”

“Yup.”

“Ok, let’s change the subject, this is hugely depressing.”

“Alright,” Sango said, her voice brightening, “Let’s get Inuyasha and Kagome drunk together when we go back to Fairbanks!”

Miroku guffawed behind her, his laughter shaking the boat. “Now that’s a plan I can get behind!”

A little ways downstream, a little red raft floated, unaware of the conspirators behind them plotting their future hangovers. Inuyasha was finally beginning to relax, the first several rapids having been filled with shrieks and near spills as Kagome’s arms and reflexes began to understand the motion and the rocking of the river. The latest set of frothy waters required little aid from him and he leaned back, feeling oddly playful, to tilt his head up into her lap to congratulate her.

“Nice job,” he said. Viewing her face upside down put her in a new light and he was captivated in a sudden, strange new way.

“Thanks!” she replied. Her voice was breathless and exuberant, her smile wide from ear to ear. She looked down at him with smiling, bright eyes and reached down to pinch his nose.

“Oy!” he sputtered, droplets from her paddle landing on his face. He sat up, wiping away the water while turning to give her a mock stink eye. She giggled at him.

“Oops, sorry!”

Grunt.

“Haha, oh come on,” Kagome complained, “You were doing so good with your words.”

He shrugged and grunted. In retaliation, Kagome moved to give him a gentle whack with her paddle, only to have him catch hold of the shaft.

“Cheeky wench,” he called her. Kagome’s eyes went wide as her entire face flared with surprised outrage.

“What did you just call me?!”

Her reaction surprised him, it was a face he’d never seen her make before. Alarm rang through his mind before another part of him rose up excitedly to play with this new side of her. He smirked, a spark entering his eyes.

“Heh, would you prefer ‘cheeky brat’?”

“Huh,” Kagome said, her bright eyes narrowed, “Fighting words from a mountain recluse. You sure you wanna start calling me names while I’m at the helm?”

“Hey, if I go over, I’m taking you with me.”

“Whatever happened to not letting me drown?”

“Never promised I’d keep you dry.”

“Ha! If you had, you’d’ve failed several times over.” She leaned in, the corners of her lips twitching upwards even as she tried to give him an accusatory look. “Some mountain guide you are.”

He snorted. “You’re still in one piece,” he countered, releasing her paddle to poke her in the calf. He cracked a smile when she squealed in reaction, before continuing, “And you seem pretty lively to me. I think I’m doing a fantastic job.”

“You mean  _ I’m _ doing a fantastic job staying alive  _ in spite _ of you.”

“Good grief,” he huffed, rolling his eyes before fixing her with a glare of challenge, “When have you almost died on this trip so far?” 

Kagome paused then, thinking of all the moments she was sure she’d enter cardiac arrest from the different, breathtakingly handsome, looks he’d given her. As she took a breath to answer, he cut her off.

“ _ Besides _ yesterday morning,” he clarified quickly. Her laughter broke through some tension he’d felt when the memory of her first fall into the river rose up in his mind. She reached forward to grab and shake his shoulder and though her hand was small and cold, the gesture warmed him, bringing out a bright red coloring to his cheeks as something in his chest squeezed. Behind him, he heard her answer bafflingly.

“So many times,” she said, “So, so many times.”

He sent her a confused look, an eyebrow cocked to emphasize his silent question, but she only smiled mysteriously and shook her head.

They continued floating and paddling through the canyon, keeping a close eye on the clouds overhead and bracing against the white water as it thrashed and splashed over the sides of their rafts. There was one last portage to climb, clambering and scrambling up a steep embankment to avoid a particularly choppy section of river. And then they dropped into a wide, flat valley, finding themselves back in the shallows and alternatively dragging the boats and riding the boats in a several hour long push that left them panting and feeble with overexertion. It was an immense effort, to wade through the knee deep water with barely floating raft in tow. And add to that the energies a body burns to keep the cold, icy water at bay and altogether you wind up with four exhausted travelers staggering up a grassy bank, with only food and fire on their minds.

… 

“You want some help with that?”

Inuyasha turned to her, scowl etched into his brows. His braid had slowly transformed into a crow’s nest and now he found himself tackling the disaster just a bit too late. 

“Nah,” he replied, “I might just cut it all off.”

“Oh no, don’t do that!” Kagome exclaimed, “I’d kill to have hair that long!”

She inched forward, the sleeping pad beneath complaining loudly of her shifting weight. They were inside her tent, the filtered light shading their skin with an orange, reddish hue. Boldly, she took hold of the end of his braid and plucked at the elastic band that held it together.

“Here, turn around,” she ordered.

He made a face, but complied, sighing and tilting his neck to and fro. He’d forgotten what long days of nonstop paddling could be like and his neck and shoulders were stiff while his fingers and palms were beginning to tingle with a prickling numbness. Thinking of his aches and pains reminded him of the collection of bruises Kagome was growing.

“How’re you feeling?” he asked, breaking the silence.

“I feel like I’ve been paddling for eternity,” Kagome answered, giggling, “This is gonna take a while, my fingers aren’t cooperating.”

He smirked to himself. 

“Even though I’ve been doing all the work?”

“Hey! I’ve been helping!”

Grunt.

“Ah, we’re back to this now are we?”

Grunt.

Kagome chuckled, shaking her head as she worked through the plaits. She marveled at the length of his hair, internally screaming with jealousy. 

“So, have you always grown out your hair?”

The question was innocent and she couldn’t have imagined the rush of negative memory that accompanied it. His shoulders hunched as he answered.

“Yeah, my mom insisted.”

Kagome frowned, noting his loss of stature. She couldn’t see his face to try to read how far she could press, but her burning curiosity for the man before her eventually got the better of her voice.

“... Why?”

She was half way up the braid, gently using her fingers to comb through the tangles and knots. When silence met her question, she quickly backpedaled, fearful of the icy wall materializing between again.

“Y-you don’t have to answer,” she said quickly, “Sorry, I can be a little too nosy sometimes.”

He sat cross legged with his elbows on his thighs, curled over with his head hanging low. He was so still, she could hardly detect the rise and fall of his breathing as she watched him, her fingers frozen in his hair. 

“She said it reminded her of my father,” he said, “She said it made me look like him.”

Kagome tried to remind herself to breathe, looking down at the little growing pool of sleek dark locks in her lap. It was soft, silky, without a split end in sight and she briefly wondered what sort of blessing of genetics his father had given him. Then she thought of his voice, sullen and low, both drawing her into the subject and warning her away. 

“So, is you dad a rockstar then?” she asked, matching his volume though striving to lighten the mood. It seemed to work, barely. He huffed a soft rush of air before leaning back, bringing his arms backward to rest his weight on them, his head hovering over her lap. The sudden proximity startled her and she brought her hands to the back of his neck as though to catch it. 

“He was a business mogul,” he said quietly, “My mom was his personal assistant. They were going to wait until his divorce was finalized before announcing their engagement.”

Kagome desperately wanted to see his face, she felt blind staring at the top of his head in her hands. Were these memories causing him pain? Did he feel forced to tell her somehow? In a small, tentative voice, trying to be as gentle as she could, she prodded him further.

“But…?”

Quitely, wordlessly, he leaned more weight onto her hands and she watched, disembodied, as her arms guided his head lower, down into her lap. As his body sagged to the ground, he shifted, reclining comfortably in the downy nest of their sleeping bags, his eyes gazing through the top of their tent at a distant beyond. Kagome’s poor little heart felt like it would burst, and the weight of his head and shoulders against her legs seemed the only thing pinning her down to earth. Carefully, she moved her fingers along his skull, caressing it, before bringing her palms to either side of his face and gently tracing his jawline. He barely reacted and she took it to be consent to her trespass over his skin.

“But his private jet was sabotaged and he died. My mom had me all on her own and my father’s family refused any support, denying that we were related.”

He blinked, biting his lip.

“Mom used to have me sit for her while she brushed my hair. She’d cry while she braided it.”

Inuyasha sighed, blinking again and allowing the action to draw him back to the present. There was a restrained part of him that was quietly horrified by how much he was sharing with a woman he’d only known for one and a half weeks. Slowly, reluctantly, he raised his eyes to watch her, bracing himself for whatever reaction he was about to receive.

It felt better, to witness her response from upside down, the change in perspective making it easier. Her eyes were sad and her lips were tight and a single, lonely tear teetered on the edge of her lashes. Perhaps he’d shared too much, perhaps she didn’t want to know. But then her fingers moved across his cheeks and there was a tender, loving care in her caress. A breath, and then another, he closed his eyes to focus on the soft, warm touch that carefully stroked the sides of his face and let out a long sigh.

“I…,” Kagome started, desperately searching for something, anything, to say, “I’m…”

Opening his eyes, he stared up at her face, noting her distress and finding himself both soothed by her sympathy, and concerned for the pain he saw in her dark gaze. His body moved on its own, reaching up to touch her cheek, carefully swiping the trembling tear away before it could fall.

“It was a long time ago. They’re together now.”

Her lips twisted at this, the whole picture coming together in a tragic jigsaw puzzle, but she bravely held on to the sob that tried to scramble up her throat. Gently, she covered his hand with hers, pressing it more firmly against her cheek while she tried her best to smile for him. They stayed like that for a moment more, before the sound of shifting in their neighboring tent brought the present reality back into their consciousness. Kagome sniffed, pulling herself back together, before encouraging Inuyasha to sit back up. She was careful with her brushing, suddenly treating his long tresses with respect and reverence. And then, because she just couldn’t permit them to tuck in for the night with such an overpoweringly oppressive atmosphere, she took the end of his freshly braided hair, tickling his nose and giggling softly when he caught her hand, expressing his exasperation with a tweak at her own nose. She was relieved to see the spark of a smile return to his eyes, even as he rolled them at her before zipping himself into his sleeping bag. She lay beside him, watching him for several minutes, following the rise and fall of his hands where they rest on his chest. Then she shifted, reaching out to take one in hers, their fingers interlacing. He turned his head to glance at her curiously before smiling, a warm, gentle smile, returning her grip and letting his eyes drift closed. She followed suit shortly after, the heat of their joined hands fanning the ember glowing in her heart.

* * *

A/N: hmm… not entirely sure how satisfied I am with this but oh well… the interesting part is over (in terms of the wilderness/river stuff) and now it’s just a slow endless slog to get to the bushplane… so I guess i get to focus on inuyasha’s backstory from here on out :P

Work is gonna be pretty busy between now and the start of the holidays so it may be a bit of time before i punch out another chapter… sorry! 

Another muir quote for a title


	11. The stone-aged children

#  **The Call**

~ Kitty

**Chapter 10: The stone-age children**

… 

_ “ _ _ Sorrow carves riverbeds in our soul, deepening us as it flows in and out of our lives. _ _ ” _

_ ― Francis Weller _

* * *

After a time in the wilderness, there is a shift in mindframe that occurs. Social consciousness and inhibitions give way to practical necessity. So it wasn’t for modesty’s sake that Kagome carefully picked her way through the prickly bushes and sharp edged grass. Well, perhaps for just a little bit of modesty. Finding the perfect spot takes experience and practice. It wasn’t just a simple search for a screen of foliage a specific distance away from the water source. If the ground was hard, she would not be able to dig a deep enough cathole. If the ground was uneven, she risked losing her balance and tipping over. Beside a fallen tree was good, perhaps near some stones, in order to build up a cairn to signal others to steer clear. And even after she located a satisfactory location, there was still some work to do. In a remote location like the backcountry of Alaska, it wasn’t quite as necessary to dig a deep hole. But there were bushes and grasses to be dealt with, and Kagome hastily stomped down a small clearing. The first time she’d gone out on this particular bodily mission, a slender green blade of grass promptly made its protests known and she nearly fell over herself in reaction to the startling sensation. Now wiser, she carefully assessed her surroundings, grabbed hold of a nearby branch, and squatted down to commit the deed. Birds twittered overhead, winds whispered through the trees, and the sunlight cast warm, gentle rays across her bare bottom. While she certainly missed flushable toilets, she had to admit the scenery and ambience of the wilderness bathroom was difficult to top.

A crashing and thrashing preceded her return to camp and Inuyasha glanced up, raising his eyebrows to note her sour expression. The morning light highlighted her hair with gold and the tall grasses and bushes around her swayed as they gave way to her legs as she passed them. Despite the beauty in her surroundings, she walked stiffly, a grimace pinching her face. Sango apparently noticed as well and smirked as she voiced her mocking concern.

“Pipes clogged up?”

Kagome sputtered before she could manage a reply. “Ew, no!” she exclaimed, “Gross, Sango!”

Sango just shrugged, biting back a chuckle. “What’s the problem then?”

Kagome’s grimace deepened and she squirmed, adjusting her pants. “There were a lot of mosquitos out there, I swear everything feels itchy now!”

Now it was Sango’s turn to make a face, quickly reaching for the bug spray and dousing herself. Miroku watched with a dubious expression.

“It may not last that long,” he said, indicating to the repellent, “The water will probably wash it off your legs as soon as we get onto the river.”

Groaning, Sango squirted some more of the solution onto her face and arms, determined to wage chemical warfare on the little sucking insects, no matter the cost. Kagome continued making a pinched expression, adjusting the fabric of her pants, until suddenly, she exclaimed.

“Fuck! I have a bite on my butt!”

There was nothing in the world that could have prevented Inuyasha’s guffaw, though he did try admirably to hold it back, resulting in the first rush of air to blow out his nose. The combined visual of Kagome’s uncomfortable, disgusted expression, her lips curling up while her brows frowned down, and her loud declaration drew out a fit of uncontrollable chortles and gasps and before he knew it, he was belly laughing, clutching his stomach as his abs burned and his eyes teared. Miroku nearly dropped his water pump into the river, the unprecedented occasion of Inuyasha heaving any more than a short, stunted chuckle caught him completely off guard, stunned to see his notoriously impassive friend so incopacitated by laughter.

Kagome, in the meantime, was in no mood to humor the mountain hermit and shot him a narrow eyed glare that promised revenge, before swiping the coffee mug from his hands and downing the hot beverage. He surrendered his drink easily, hands lax as his arms braced his sides.

“It’s not  _ that _ funny!” She complained grouchily. Her grumpy expression slipped a bit as his chuckles diminished and he looked at her, a grin stretching from ear to ear. His smile was roguish and his eyes were bright and he managed to yet again root her to the ground as she took in his handsome face beaming at her. 

“Yeah,” he responded, “It kinda is.”

Then he broke the spell by reaching a wide, gentle hand to plop heavily on the top of her head, tossling her hair. 

“Aw, hey!” She said in protest, “You’re gonna tangle it!”

In the background, Miroku was desperately holding himself back, his pesky, mischievous side itching to jump in and draw attention to Inuyasha’s uncharacteristic behavior. His other side was fighting a losing battle, barely containing his little figurative internal devil. But there was a warm tingling feeling in the back of his mind, finding the interaction between these two endearing and generating a protective impulse within him, wanting to see it grow. He glanced over to his fiancé and winked, observing her similar look of someone on the verge of teasing the budding couple. Eventually, the group broke down camp and packed up the rafts. Kagome claimed the back seat again, eager to practice the skills she’d learned yesterday in steering the boat. It wasn’t long before the color floating rafts were in the water and being paddled down toward the Alatna.

… 

Life on the river, now that it had calmed into a wide, lumbering highway, was relaxed, lazy even. The stretches of calm were more and more frequent as they floated down the wide, flat valley. Rather than crashes and roars, the river giggled and trickled as it tripped its way over the smooth stones and around slowly arching bends. Occasionally, the shallows would rise up to beach them and then it was a period of huffing and pushing to get back to a floatable depth. Kagome would squirm every time they reseated themselves and Inuyasha would let out a chuckle to himself, even as she reached forward to give his shoulder a firm whack. 

Her steering was getting better and the river was tired now, lumbering slower and slower to the sea. Kagome experimented, turning the boat this way and that, spinning full circles as she worked to get a feel for the raft’s dynamics.

“Oy! Quit it!” Inuyasha practically growled, one hand releasing his paddle to steady himself against the sides of the raft. The centripetal force she was managing to generate gave even him a hard time staying upright.

“Wheee!” Her voice chirped from behind him, “This is fun!”

“Fucking wench!”

The boat abruptly stopped spinning, throwing him to the other side. His head spun as he tried to turn and glower at her, succeeding in a comical, cross eyed glare.

Kagome, slightly dizzy herself, glanced beyond Inuyasha and smirked.

“Call me ‘wench’ again,” she said, “I dare you!”

“Damn fucking wench,” he growled, not even pausing to draw breath. If only he could hold a straight line of sight, he would have seen the most evil grin Kagome could manage spread across her face as she dipped her paddle deep into the water. She leveraged the shaft against her body to cause the front of the raft to swerve suddenly to one side, and straight into a heavily leaning spruce tree, letting loose a showering of needles into the boat and down Inuyasha’s shirt.

“Gyah!” He shouted, raising his hands to the nape of his neck. It was too late and he gingerly plucked at the itchy little leaves the best he could. Kagome was chortling gleefully to herself behind him. So she’s a prankster, huh? Inuyasha narrowed his eyes and renewed his grip on his paddle. 

Despite Kagome’s position at the rear of the boat giving her a greater control, there was nothing her slim arms could do to out-muscle him as he buried his paddle in the water, swinging the boat around to give her a dusting of conifer needles to match his. 

“Aaagh!”

He graced her with a wide, cocky smirk that only broadened when she looked up to pout at him.

“Butt-head!” She said, reaching up uncomfortably to attempt to brush the sticky needles off her damp skin and tangled hair. 

“You started it,” he countered, shifting in the boat to face her before sinking down into a comfortable seat. 

“Fart-face!”

“Heh, you’re a creative one.”

“Pooper!”

“I am that. You are too.”

“I hope a mosquito bites your dick!”

Inuyasha snorted, his eyebrows disappearing behind his bangs. He managed to quell his urge to laugh long enough to send back another retort.

“Now you’re just being vulgar.”

A short distance away, a pair of eyes were puzzled as they witnessed the shenanigans of their friends. 

“What on earth are they doing?” Sango asked, shaking her head. 

“Heads up!” Miroku called before diving to the side to narrowly miss another tree.

Sango was at the helm this morning and between the new position and her preoccupation with her best friend and her fiance’s grumpy one on the raft next over, it was a constant barrage of boat meeting tree for Miroku and his head was slowly coming to resemble the forest floor. 

“Dearest and love of my life,” he said, his voice clearly betraying how much he’d like to throttle her at that moment, “For the love of God or Zeus or whoever it is up there, please focus on the raft!”

Sango blinked, glancing at him as though just realizing he was there and rolled her eyes, shrugging.

“I’m getting the hang of it,” she insisted, redirecting the boat back to the center of the stream to avoid any more run ins with the grasping, snagging trees. She picked at her hair at the base of her neck, plucking out yet another spruce needle and flicking it into the water.

“Of course you are, dear,” Miroku answered sarcastically. Behind him, he heard Sango harrumph before a splatter of water landed on his head.

“Sango!” he yelled, spinning around. Sango was the picture of innocence, her sharp eyes focused and carefully watching the water, her back straight and proud. He groaned, dropping his head before looking up to ogle her again. She was an unconscious beauty, her movements graceful and elegant no matter what she did. It was the first thing that had caught his attention when they first met. 

“What are you smiling at?” her voice asked, accusingly. He glanced up from his perusal of her body to grin wolfishly at her. Her eyes were narrowed with suspicion, despite the hint of a smile on her lips.

“Just deciding which part of you I’m going to lavish first when we get back,” he said, winking

Now, Sango groaned, rolling her eyes and looking away. He caught the hint of red in her cheeks, though, and laughed. Her shy embarrassment for being noticed was a charm he only learned of later, when his overt advances were rebuffed and shirked and only served to draw him in more. He hadn’t been aware that he had such a weakness in his pursuit of the female gender. It was an Achilles heel that obliterated his interest in other dalliances. His smile turned goofy on his face and he turned to refocus on the river. Paddling became more of a necessity as the river flow slowed further still and soon all paddlers were periodically shaking out numb hands and stretching stiff shoulders and finally decided to pull over for a breather on a lovely stretch of sun kissed gravel bed.

… 

“So, have you figured out what you’re gonna do after we get back?”

Kagome glanced up, her hands twisted together as she stretched out her wrists and palms. Her fingers tingled and her palms were numb and it was not looking good for the next three days if she felt this achy in her hands now. She sighed and dropped them into her lap.

“Back to Fairbanks? Or back to the lower forty eight?”

Sango shrugged, tossing the wrapper of her granola bar lunch into the fire, “Both I guess. You’re staying an extra day in Fairbanks right? Why not check out Denali?”

Kagome frowned, considering the thought. “How far away is that? I’d have to rent a car right?”

“I think so,” Miroku piped in, stirring the fading embers in their fire. “How far is it, Inuyasha?”

“Why do you think I’d know?”

“Cause you worked around there for a bit,” Miroku said, giving him a deadpan look. Inuyasha seemed surprised but Miroku shrugged.

“Perks of being in digital forensics,” he said, “I can snoop on my friends.”

“Illegally,” Inuyasha muttered, “Fucker.”

“Hey, Myouga was desperate to find you and filed a missing person report,” Miroku said, raising his hands in mock defence, “It was totally legal!”

Grunt.

Kagome glanced back and forth between Inuyasha and Miroku with obvious curiosity before looking to Sango to gauge her reaction. Sango only looked bored. 

“So…,” Kagome asked, cutting the building tension, “What were you doing in Denali?”

Inuyasha was hard pressed to let go of his current bone with Miroku but he glanced at Kagome and answered.

“Worked at a sled dog kennel,” he answered. Kagome’s face instantly lit up, excitement swelling like a wave before it breaks.

“Sled dogs!” she exclaimed, sitting up and leaning in. Her entire body was electrified and even her hair appeared to stand up. “That’s  _ awesome _ ! At the park?”

It was so hard to hold back his smile at seeing the enthusiasm radiating off of her in waves. He rubbed his chin to hide the smirk as he answered her. “Nah, Jeff King’s kennel, he’s an Iditorod winner, I worked there.”

“Do they do tours? Can I visit! How long does it take to get  _ there _ ?”

Sango was laughing and shaking her head, familiar with her friend’s passion for all things soft and furry. Inuyasha found himself leaning backwards away from the barrage of questions and her wide looming eyes as she continued to lean in closer. With her bright, grinning face taking up his entire field of vision, he suddenly found himself scrambling for words.

“Uh, yes?”

Kagome was practically bouncing. “Well? How far is it? Can I get there and back in one day?”

“Yes?”

“Ok, I’m going,” Kagome declared, punching the air for emphasis, “Help me look it up when we get back, ok?”

“Uh,” Inuyasha stuttered, still adjusting to the beaming joy emanating from her very pores, “Yes?”

The fire had burned down to just a few embers and that was the signal that it was time to pile back into the rafts. The sun was hampered by scattered clouds and so they teetered between too hot, and too cold for the rest of the afternoon. The air at their level was still and without the sound of rushing white water, it seemed almost too silent. The occasional bird twittered here or there, and the gentle slapping of the river against the side of the hollow raft tubes beat out a soft rhythm. In front of her, Inuyasha rummaged around with something in his lap before turning to hand her a water bottle.

“Hydrate,” he said, tone definitive, like a command. Kagome quirked an eyebrow at the order.

“Yes, mom,” she said, teasingly, even as she accepted the offer.

“So, what did you do at the sled dog place?” she asked the back of his head, “Did you race?”

He glanced back at her, finally letting out a chuckle and shaking his head.

“Nah, I was bottom man on the totem pole,” he said, “Just fed them and cleaned the shit.”

“But you were with puppies all day!”

Inuyasha grunted. 

“Was working at a dog kennel a bucket list item or something?” Kagome asked suddenly, after a brief silence.

Inuyasha frowned, glancing over his shoulder.

“Why d’you ask that?”

Kagome pursed her lips together as she considered her response. It was a beautiful day, with happy, fluffy clouds and a clear blue sky. She didn’t want to bring proverbial grey clouds on such a lovely day.

“Just… Just curious,” she tried, “Was there no particular reason you worked there?”

“It paid,” he said, “And I needed money.”

Kagome frowned, her brain piecing the bits and pieces together. 

“So,” she said hesitantly, “you never reconciled with your father’s family?”

Inuyasha paused in his paddling, taking a breath and sighing. For a fluttery moment, Kagome wondered if she had overstepped her bounds again, but she watched his back, resigned, depressed, but without tension. 

“My brother contacted me when I got into college,” he said, “apparently my SAT scores got some attention.”

“Huh,” Kagome said, “didn’t realize I’m traveling with a Neanderthal genius.”

In front of her, Inuyasha snorted. 

“So… what about now?” She continued to press, “are you still in touch with your brother?”

His dark head rolled to the side as he heaved a sigh. With an exaggerated motion that tipped and rocked the raft, causing Kagome to shriek and brace herself, he spun around on his seat to face her. 

“You sure are nosy,” he said, fixing her with a deadpan glare. At first, Kagome panicked, worried the wall of ice would rise again between them. Then she took a closer look at his face, the teasing in his eyes, and narrowed hers. 

“Well,” she huffed, “I was just trying to make conversation.”

He grunted. “Well then,” he said, “Have you found what you’re looking for out here?”

At this, Kagome blinked, surprised by the turn around in subject. 

“What… what do you mean?”

“Everyone comes out here searching for something,” he said, “Have you found it?”

He watched her as she frowned, her brows bunching together as she earnestly contemplated his question. And then, something wistful was added to her expression as she glanced around them, at the valley, the mountains, the sky. The river rocked them like a cradle and the motion was soothing as she leaned back, reflecting on the trip, the toils and the memories. She chewed her lip pensively and he stayed silent as he watched her. Her paddle lay idle in her lap and her fingers fidgeted with her nails. His eyes had always found her mesmerizing, since the first moment he was able to see past Kikyou’s ghost and find Kagome. Playful, bright, sunny. There was something magnetic in the way she wore her thoughts and emotions on her sleeve. But in the past several days, he hadn’t quite studied her the way he did now. The furrow in her forehead that deepened as she continued to ponder his question. The way her lips parted and closed, as if she were speaking to herself. Her eyes searched their surroundings, seeking out the refuge of the wilderness that they were all seeking. Suddenly, he found her mysterious, alluring, and he found himself aching to know what she was thinking. At long last, her gaze landed on him and her eyes smiled into his.

“I don’t know,” she said, smiling sheepishly, “I honestly don’t know what I was looking for in the first place.”

They sat for several breaths, glancing at each other, then glancing down and around, then sneaking a glance at each other again. Eventually, Kagome chuckled, reaching up to tuck a lock of hair behind her ear. His eyes followed the movement with rapt attention, observing the collection of spruce needles entangled in her braids, drawing a short chuckle from his own lungs.

“We spend all our school years being groomed for the rat race,” she said, her eyes distant as she mused aloud, “And after joining it, you realize it’s empty. My work is empty, my apartment is empty. I feel like I’m not really  _ connected  _ with anybody. Maybe I’m romanticizing it, but it feels like there’s something in my monkey brain with a memory of a different way of life and that’s what’s calling to me.”

He watched her take a long deep breath through her nose, her eyes drawing closed as though to concentrate on the scent of the forest as she pulled it inside of herself. When she opened them again, her brown irises deep and sparkling, gazing beyond him at the mountainous horizon. 

“We’re not that much different from our early ancestors,” she said, almost a whisper, “Life back home’s too fast, our goals and pursuits are too abstract. I wonder if that’s what I’m searching for, a simpler way of life.”

Kagome blinked and looked up, meeting his eyes before immediately dropping them to her lap, her cheeks flushing. Raising an awkward hand to her neck, she laughed at herself. “Did that make any sense? Maybe the sun’s getting to me.”

Bashfully, she peeked at him through her lashes, bracing herself for the look of bafflement she was sure he’d have. She was relieved to see that his expression was thoughtful, chewing over her words and testing them. Then he blinked and met her eyes.

“I think you’re right,” he said, then smiled a lopsided smile as he admitted, “It’s part of the reason I came out here.”

Kagome frowned, her curiosity peaking as she wondered what the rest of his reasons were.

“Did you…,” she asked slowly, breaking the silence, “Did you ever find what you came out here for?”

“No,” he said, his voice rising without hesitation. Inside, he was startled, surprised that his subconscious already had an answer to that question. He looked at her, saw her bright, curious eyes. It was a wonder that he felt compelled to share this revelation with her, despite his usual reluctance to even recognize these thoughts within himself. 

“I was never looking for anything,” he said, his eyes downcast, his face solemn, “I was running away.”

“What from?”

Inuyasha snorted, then chuckled, shaking his head. 

“That’s private, nosy one,” he said. But there was a smile in his eyes as he stared at her, almost playful and she was somehow relieved, as if even this denial of information was an intimate exchange and she felt closer to him for it. 

Eventually, Inuyasha blinked, and sighed, and turned around, resuming his long powerful strokes as he propelled their raft forwards to catch up with Miroku and Sango. Kagome followed his lead, noting just how far they’d fallen behind. A peaceful silence stretched between them, one filled with splashing paddles and long, even strokes. She felt her heart beating in time with her breathing and together they beat out a rhythm for her arms to follow. She matched his paddling easily and their raft leapt forward with each stroke. Together, in smooth harmony. 

She didn’t know how long they’re been paddling, just long enough for her arms to begin to tire, when she paused for breath and glanced around. Inuyasha heard her gasp behind him, and he looked up to find out what had caused her surprise. 

They’d floated into a wide, desolate burn area, with the skeletons of trees still reaching lifelessly for the sky. And yet, it was a scene of life, for amidst the charred remains of the forest, a blanket of vibrant pink swayed and bobbed in the breeze, waving at them cheerfully from the shore. The flowers were not foreign to her eyes, they were present in small bunches during their overland trek, but to witness its brilliance at full strength was another thing entirely. 

“Fireweed,” he said over his shoulder, “it makes good jam.”

“You can  _ eat  _ it?” She asked, incredulous. 

“Yup.”

Ahead of them, Inuyasha could hear Miroku’s BBC Planet Earth narrator’s voice giving Sango the full details of the flower, it’s status as a pioneer species, and it’s role in repopulating after a forest fire. He stifled a snort and rolled his eyes, returning to the task of paddling the raft. 

It was eerie, floating past the desolate, gnarled branches of the dead trees. The slender stalks of fireweed flowers bobbed and swayed like a living fire. And when the sun dipped closer to the horizon, it tinted the pinks of the fireweed to redder hue and Kagome couldn’t help but imagine the scene. Licking, flickering flames eating up the underbrush and gnawing at the tough, fire resistant bark of the spruce and pine. The roar of the fire, the cry of the trees as they cracked and splintered. She blinked, and sighed, marveling at how quickly life could bounce back. And then, a slender, lonely shape rose into the clear, blue sky, dark and elegant with wide, powerful wings. A sharp piercing call echoed across the valley and all four rafters set down their paddles briefly, absorbing the serenity of the scene and feeling the call resonate down to their bones. The hawk called again and another winged shape rose up to meet it. They danced as two aerial masters, high overhead, in smooth, graceful arcs. The sunlight, fiery and golden, traced their outlines. As though oblivious to their audience, they flirted with each other, drifting close, feinting, then parting, their wing beats strong and confident. They glided overhead for a minute, maybe two, before drifting toward the distant mountains and out of sight. 

Inuyasha glanced back at Kagome, curious for her reaction, eager to absorb her awe. The yearning on her face surprised him. She had a wistful expression this time, filled with something sad and forlorn. And a loneliness, as if she felt it keenly, the loss of the grace and beauty in the birds’ skyborn performance as they abandoned the flightless humans for a greater and more mysterious beyond. 

* * *

A/N: so this is kind of funny. Since writing forever home, I’ve gotten so used to a non-speaking Inuyasha that I feel so stuck trying to write a conversation between the two of them :P dunno what to do with this talkative Inuyasha. Hope it sounds somewhat natural… hahaha 

This chapter’s quote is from “The Wild Edge of Sorrow” by Francis Weller. 

This chapter title comes from R.D. Laing, Scottish psychiatrist.


	12. Deeper the Solitude

#  **The Call**

~ Kitty

**Chapter 11: Deeper the solitude**

… 

_ “Open your heart, I am calling you. Right from the very start, your wounded heart was calling too.” _

_ ― The Call, by Celtic Woman _

* * *

Before long, Kagome discovered that there was such a thing as too much lazy river. They spent the greater part of the day paddling like mad over long flat oxbows and she was certain her arms would fall off. And they still only barely made it to the Alatna before it was time to pull over. She was quiet, and contemplative as they went through the motions of cooking food and setting up tents and Inuyasha was glancing over at her with concern by the time they gathered around the fire to eat. Mosquitoes, light and buzzing, swarmed around them, just outside the smoky radius of their campfire. 

“You’re awfully quiet tonight, Kagome,” Sango said, giving voice to Inuyasha’s thoughts. Kagome glanced up from her food in surprise, a whole spoonful in her mouth. 

“Mhrhm,” she said working around the bite, “I guess I just realized we’re almost back.”

Miroku, passing out chilled beers from the river, plunked down beside Sango with a sigh. 

“Right?” He said, “Can’t believe we made it!”

“I can’t believe it’s almost over,” Kagome said, “I kind of wish we had another week.”

“It ain’t over yet,” Inuyasha said, cutting in, “We still have a long way to go to get to Allakaket. Don’t go thinking it’ll be a cakewalk.”

“Gee, thanks,” Kagome said, turning to him, her eyes brightening, “Aren’t you just a ray of sunshine.”

Despite her jibe, he found himself smiling at her, glad to see her lighting up again. He shrugged and grunted, prompting her to stick her tongue out at him. The spit and crackle of the fire was comforting, as much as the warmth it radiated. Kagome found herself once again inside Inuyasha’s jacket as she hugged herself and she gratefully pulled the collar up higher against her cheeks. It wasn’t that cold, she just liked feeling his imprint on the coat and having it wrapped around her. Inuyasha, for his part, was grunting and snorting his way through a stunted conversation with Miroku, his patience gradually whittled down to a brittle, thin twig.

“So when are you gonna RSVP to our wedding, huh?” Miroku asked, shifting closer to badger Inuyasha more effectively, “I get that you don’t want to be in the wedding party, but c’mon, you at least gotta show up!”

“Can it!” Inuyasha cried, finally, “I don’t wanna wear dress shoes, I don’t wanna wear a suit.”  _ And more than anything, I don’t want to go back there! _

“Just show up in your underwear then,” Kagome cut in, nonchalantly, tipping her head back to finish off the last of her beer. Inuyasha choked on the last of his rehydrated meal.

“That’s even worse!”

Sango snickered into her drink. 

“Better than naked,” she said. Inuyasha groaned. 

“You should go!” Kagome asked joining Miroku in his peer pressuring, “You haven’t seen your college friends in a while right? It’ll be good to catch up!”

Inuyasha snorted. “What friends?”

“Well, Miroku for one,” Kagome started.

“He’s here right now, mission accomplished,” Inuyasha grumped.

“I’ll be there,” Kagome said. 

Inuyasha tried to cover his momentary pause by responding sarcastically. “Is that supposed to entice me?”

Kagome fired right back. “Well, I don’t know, do you find me enticing?”

To that, Inuyasha didn’t quite have a ready retort and so he grunted. Miroku scooted ever closer.

“Oh come  _ on _ , it’s my  _ wedding _ !” he exclaimed, slinging his arm over Inuyasha’s shoulders. He leaned heavily against Inuyasha, perhaps a little wobbly from the whiskey bottle being passed around. “C’mon roomie, old buddy, old pal!”

“Argh! Get off me! I’m going to bed!” Inuyasha rose abruptly, clearly fed up with their taunting. He stomped off with a huff, a scowl etched deeply into his brow. There was a muffled ruckus behind them as he found his bedding and zippered himself into Kagome’s tent. Then all fell silent save for the popping, crackling fire. 

“Maybe we should send Inu a photo of you dolled up in a bridesmaid dress,” Sango said, winking at Kagome, “Think that would entice him enough to show up?”

Miroku sat up, immediately agreeing with the idea while Kagome just rolled her eyes. They were quickly getting through their beer stash and had made a modest dent in their whiskey which had been dolled out in generous helpings. True to Inuyasha’s prediction so many nights ago, the mosquito presence had intensified as they spilled out from the mountain ravine and settled into the slow and lush river valley. Sango made a nightly effort to fumigate her tent and herself and reached over to saturate herself with another heavy layer of the repellent. 

“Ugh, I think I might turn in soon, too,” Kagome said, squirming and swatting the air around her. While the fire helped some, the mosquitoes were ravenous that night and were an ever present nuisance just outside the veil of smoke. The remaining humans were pressed in close around their fire, so that soot and ash descended on their clothes and hair, embedding into their pores and it would take many weeks of washing and airing out to remove the smell of campfire. But it was a comforting smell and Kagome enjoyed the evening, taking one last bracing swig of amber colored liquor before rising herself. 

Sango watched with amusement and more than a little anxious sympathy, as Kagome waved at the air around her while brushing her teeth. Any pause in her movements, and a little bloodsucker would take its chance for a drink. Sango was not looking forward to performing a similar mosquito avoidance dance later that night. With a quick ‘goodnight’, Kagome dove into her tent, frantically zipping up the fabric door to block out the bloodthirsty pests and an entertaining shuffling and grumbling erupted from their fabric shelter as Kagome landed heavily on top of Inuyasha. Eventually they quieted down and Sango turned back to the fire.

… 

_ The slip of paper trembled as his eyes scanned the neatly written note. Fluttering, it slid out from his fingers like water, falling to the floor. His lungs burned as his brain slowly kicked into gear. And then suddenly, he was in motion, blindly racing upstairs, throwing open doors as he searched for her. A table fell over, a crash as their bedroom door separated from its hinges. _

_ “Why aren’t you here with me? Why have you left me alone?” _

… 

He wasn’t sure what roused him but he was suddenly wide awake, staring at the darkened fabric ceiling with a restless ache pressing against his ribs. He tried to breath, taking in long, sharp draughts of air into his lungs but nothing seemed to sate the compressing feel of his lungs screaming for air. It was manageable, nothing like the frantic terrors when the wound was still fresh. But it was still harrowing and frightening as his body manifested the agony his mind tried to squeeze into a tight little black box inside his heart. 

What had he been searching for out here?

Inuyasha bit his lip in an effort to clench down and stifle the crushing sensation. It both collapsed and rose within him and he cringed as it threatened to spill out. Relief, forgetfulness, he’d been searching for distraction and an escape. But his ghosts had a funny way of collecting at the fringes of his consciousness and whenever he paused, he’d found them haunting him, waiting to be given the attention they craved. Guilt, regret, and hours and hours of reliving the nightmare until he felt himself reeling out of control. Breathing shallowly, he turned over to hug himself in fetal position, bringing up his legs, however hampered by the narrow sleeping bag, in an outward attempt to hold himself together. 

His first glimpse of her, sleeping peacefully beside him, his jacket still tucked tightly under her chin, sent a wash of relief through him, sweet and soothing, and he was startled by the immediacy of his reaction to her. His mind, open and raw, allowed stray thoughts to flit through unregulated and in the flash of just a few seconds, all his consciousness was filled with Kagome. Her frightened, concerned eyes when he’d first tried to hold her gaze. The easy smile that made him feel it was something special saved just for him. Her unabashed awe and glee to first set foot in the Alaskan taiga and her brash enthusiasm to take on whatever the wilderness was going to throw at her. There was bravery in her innocent willingness to plunge into the river, and a resilience that bore her through her repeated beatings by Mother Nature. And gradually, as his recollections of her ceaseless sunny radiance that somehow glowed through even the greyest days of their trip, it came to his awareness that he admired her. Even as she confessed her fatigue of the daily grind waiting for her after they returned, it was with a curious backdrop of optimism despite the futile struggle she described. She was a willow, veiled by a deceiptive curtain of young, green branches but held up by a strong, pliable trunk that could bend but would not break. And lying so close, near enough to feel her breath on his face, inside the shelter of her tent, he suddenly felt a surge of renewed strength, as if her presence bolstered him in his weakness and her radiance was gentle in its encouragement.

Without realizing it, he pulled an arm out from his sleeping bag and reached out to touch her cheek. She was warm, and soft, and his fingers moved without his permission, tracing their way down her chin and finding her lips. They parted as she sighed and then he panicked as her eyes slowly opened to reveal her sleepy, warm gaze. Perhaps she wasn’t fully awake or perhaps she was still dreaming. Her hand came up to find his and her fingertips left fire in their wake. She grasped his hand in her slender palm and pulled him in, smiling as she tucked their joined hands close to her chest. She nuzzled closer and with another happy sigh, drifted back to the land of dreams. 

It was like her warmth flowed into him from their contact and suddenly it was all he could do to return her smile as his eyelids fluttered, and dipped, and he, too, gradually descended back to sleep. And it was a rest that went deeper and farther than a mere respite for his body. 

… 

“Over there! Over there!” Kagome bounced from her seat in the middle of the boat. She had relinquished her position back to Inuyasha and was now in charge of wildlife sightings. Over the course of the morning, she’d spotted several rock bears and bush bears and for a time, she had all four of them convinced a frothy floating clump of bubbly foam was a flock of ducklings. 

“That’s a rock, Kagome,” Inuyasha said, barely glancing in the direction she was pointing. In front of him, Kagome blew a raspberry. 

“ _ Another _ rock bear?” Kagome all but growled in frustration. The river was even tamer today than yesterday. The water was flat and when the wind blew, they were buffeted upstream and had to fight to continue onward to their destination. They were at real risk of boredom in these long stretches of drifting and paddling and they were all sorely tempted to nap their way to town. The sky was grey and the air was cold and so Kagome’s bouncing was more for warmth than excitement over the latest rock mistaken for bear she’d spotted. 

Suddenly, movement flashed in the corner of her eye and she whirled around.

“Bush, or log this time?” Inuyasha asked, voice bored and sarcastic.

“Goose!” Kagome cried, “Baby geese! Four of them!”

“Are you sure?” he teased, obviously less than enthused, as he turned to obliging glance at the direction she was pointing in. Four little fuzzy bodies were huddled against a washed out bank, staring at them as they snuggled against each other.

“Huh,” he grunted, “What do you know. You finally found something.”

“They’re cute!” Kagome said. And then, teasingly, “Are they vicious little fuckers too?”

Inuyasha, for his part, was struggling to comprehend Kagome’s enthusiasm for the common Canadian goose, but chose to favor her with a tolerant look, rather than ridicule her excitement.

“Have you ever tried to feed those things? Geese can be vicious little fuckers too.”

The bright flutter of her laughter brought a smile to his face and warmed his insides as he continued to dutifully paddle the boat forward. Flat water was turning out to be an even worse adversary than the rapids as the chilly wind tried its best to keep them at the foothills of the Brooks Range while they fought their way downriver. Another noisy silence filled the space between them as Kagome settles back down and joined in the labor of getting them further along the Alatna. After days on the river and a week before that, roughing it on foot, Kagome could well and truly declare herself to be exhausted and eagerly looking forward to a hot shower. But they had several days left on serve on the river yet and she groaned as she thought of it, exaggeratingly sinking backward until she fell into Inuyasha’s lap behind her.

“Your puny arms tired?” he teased.

“Yup, paddling’s all up to you now,” she responded, determinedly  _ not _ rising up to his bait.

“Weakling,” he taunted.

“Poop face.”

Her back was warm against his chest and he shifted to more comfortably paddle around her. With her paddle tucked in at the front of the raft, Kagome had her hands free and was gingerly stretching out her sore, tingling fingers.

“Did you sleep ok last night?” Kagome asked, her question startling and abrupt. Inuyasha paused in his rhythmic paddling to frown.

“Why d’you ask?” His first instinct was defensive.

“I vaguely remember you tossing a lot last night.”

“Couldn’t get comfortable,” he said after a longer pause. 

“Bad dreams?”

Grunt.

“Cause I think you were calling out to someone.”

Silence. Things were starting to get a little too close to home.

“I think you were calling someone named K-.”

“It’s none of your business,” he blurted out, cutting her off. Kagome stiffened against his chest for a moment, before heaving a deep breath and sitting up again. The loss of her body heat was profound for him and left him feeling empty. Kagome turned, catching his gaze with a solemn expression.

“You’re right,” she said, “It’s not.”

And now, as though she lost her nerve, her gaze dropped to somewhere around his chest, then lower still to her hands as they toyed with each other in her lap. There must have been some strain in her back as she twisted around to face him, but the moment hung in the air like an eternity as she gathered herself before lifting her eyes back up to his.

“But,” she said, her voice small and made him lean in to hear her, “But I want to make it my business.”

Her voice was a whisper at this point, and as his eyes zoomed out to take in the rest of her face, he saw that she was flushed, her cheeks bright and her brows puckered. “If… If it’s alright with you, I’d really like to get to know you more. I’d like us to keep in touch after we get back. I’d… I’d like us to be friends.”

He couldn’t describe the bizarre stillness that filled the space between them in that moment. There was an earnestness in her face that seemed to be crying out to him, desperately asking him to understand. And there was a part of him, unsure and always suspicious, that sense she meant something more than what she’d just declared. He shifted uncomfortably, he bit the inside of his cheek. His eyes darted around to the waters surrounding them and then to the river bank beyond. His mind was drawing a barren, white blank and simply couldn’t process what she’d just asked of him. And so, desperately, his gaze sought a distraction to remove the uneasy tension suddenly stretching between them. 

And then suddenly, his reprieve.

“Look!”

Perhaps his diversion was clumsy and abrupt, but Kagome sighed and obliged him anyway. Turning, she moved to scan the riverbank he was pointing to, her eyes squinting as she tried to pick out whatever it was that had caught his attention, struggling to pick out brown against brown. With sky reflected in ever moving ripples in the water, and the breeze tossing the branches of the trees, it was difficult to figure out what she should be looking at. And then his warmth was against her back as he leaned down over her shoulder, binoculars in hand. He brought his face close to hers, a conscious choice? So close, she could feel the prick of his growing facial hair against her cheek and a heat rose up in them as she tried to focus on the shoreline. 

And then tapping against her shoulder, replaced by a firm grasp that pulled her closer to his body. Carefully, she brought her eyes behind the carefully aimed binoculars, the round, bobbing circle of focus through the lens disorienting her as she peered through. She narrowed her eyes, wincing almost, as she stared through, until a distinctly non foliage shape locked into her place in her vision.

“Oh my…!”

Again, her breath was stolen from her, trapped inside a small, intimate moment with nature. A moose cow and calf, their gangely, knobby legs holding them high above the muddy riverbank, stared at the colorful floating rafts as they drifted by. The calf was a lighter shade, nearly orange, and now that she’d spotted them, she had to wonder how she could possibly mistake a rock or bush for such distinctive, purposefully moving silhouettes. The mother stood tall and protective, her baby nuzzled close to her body, it’s clumsy, fluttery movements a perfect match for any young, new life. And then the mother shifted, her long, round face swinging around, as she decided these strange trespassers should not be allowed to gawk so unabashedly at her child, and with dainty, careful steps, she led her calf downstream, before plunging into the river. 

“Wait, this river’s deep!” Kagome whispered urgently, tugging at Inuyasha’s sleeve. The heart inside his chest trembled with relief to see the girl before him completely enraptured by the sighting and dropping the subject of their earlier conversation. He relaxed as he answered her.

“The current’s not too strong and moose calves are good swimmers.”

“That’s a relief,” she answered. Kagome still held Inuyasha’s binoculars hostage, following the pair as they swam across the river to the other side. The little calf barely kept its slender head above the water but when they made it to shore, it merely shook itself, water spraying playfully off its skinny hindquarters, before prancing after mom back into the forest.

“No matter what you come out here searching for,” Kagome said, wistfully, “There’s always one thing you’re sure to find.”

Inuyasha stared at her profile, waiting for her to complete her thought. Her face was relaxed and smooth, but for a crinkle around her eyes where they revealed shallow laugh lines as she stared absently after the little wild pair. And then she sighed and shook her head, turning her eyes to gaze back at the mountain range behind them. And then she turned again to face forward and downstream, toward their destination and ticket back to civilization. The humans stayed silent for a breath or two more before Inuyasha picked up his paddle, dipping it deep into the water to surge them forward. His movements were strong and determined, and his grip was tight around the shaft as he waited for Kagome. Would she continue to press the issue? His nerves began to fire up as he watched her back.

To his relief, she only turned to tuck the binoculars away before taking up her paddle again as well. And then the silence was filled, noisily, with a rhythmic splashing and squeaking as the raft sprung forward with each synchronized stroke. The sky was grey and the water was cold. And the forest opened up for them around each bend as though the lush green trees were a veil that slowly lifted to reveal just a bit more of their magical wilderness surroundings to reward their hard labor. But it was always more of the same and Kagome allowed her eyes to glaze over, resting them in a spectrum of greens and browns, as her arms switched over to autopilot. Behind her, Inuyasha wore a frown between his eyes as he pondered Kagome’s gentle knocking against the door to his heart. 

_ I’d like us to be friends. I’d like us to keep in touch after we get back. _

His expression was pensive as he internally mulled over her request.

_ I’d really like to get to know you more. _ She’d said.  _ I want to make it my business. _

And then he wondered.  _ How much should I tell her?  _

… 

The clouds grew thicker and darker and a light drizzle was soon upon them. Dinner was a hasty affair, helped along by the lack of dry fuel for the fire. The cold seemed to seep into Kagome’s bones as water trickled under her raincoat, each raise of her arm as she paddled welcomed a new drop of river water through up her arm through her sleeves. She was shivering by the time Inuyasha scouted a flat patch well draining ground near a tributary to call them to a stop for the day.

While sitting and shivering in a raft was certainly no fun, the effort of stepping out into the cold water, pulling the cold into her feet and then up her legs to her core was almost a final straw for the miserable last several hours and she was biting her lip viciously to keep from complaining. But the necessities of survival needed to be taken care of first. Kagome sloshed and tugged with the rest of them as they pulled their rafts up the rocky bank and tipped them over to dump the water that had trickled in during the day. She very soon found herself under Inuyasha’s large, warm coat as they trudged up the bank. It was another frantic hustle to strip off sodden clothing and somehow start a fire with the waterlogged wood scattered around their chosen campsite. And then around them, a cloud of grey was recognized and Sango shrieked as she dove for her pack to pull out the bug spray.

“Holy fuck! It’s a swarm of them!” Sango was reduced to a flapping, comical pantomime of a flightless bird as she stamped and whirled and swatted at the air around her face. It was a fruitless effort, the swarm would not be dissuaded and it seemed that the more she strove to drive the pesky little things away, the more attention she attracted unto herself.

Thankfully, Inuyasha had a miraculous way with fire and from the damp twigs and sodden logs, a flickering orange light sprung to life and devoured the offered kindling hungrily, giving off mosquito repelling smoke in a spray of little yellow sparks. Kagome was sorely tempted to stand practically in the fire in an effort to both warm up her still quaking insides as well as bathe her bare legs with the smoke to keep the mosquitos at bay. The evening was a short one, quickly stacking up sodden clothes near the heat of the dying embers before making mad dashes to the woods for a final bathroom break.

The sky was still bright, even through the layer of drizzling clouds. But the nearer cloud of buzzing, hovering bloodsuckers forced them into their fabric shelters early. They dove into their tents in a frantic, dramatic kerfuffle and spend several minutes checking every corner for any infiltrating insects. Eventually, Kagome finally breathed a sigh of relief, declaring their tent mosquito free.

“G’night,” she called out to the neighboring tent, receiving a pair of goodnight greetings in return. She lay down beside him, snuggling into her downy sleeping bag and drawing up his jacket around her chin. Her eyes smiled into his before glancing upward, eyeing the swarming, sieging mosquitos and then her expression turned to disgusted dread.

“Oh my god,” she said, “That’s terrifying!”

Inuyasha glanced upward, at the fine mesh material of the tent and saw what had caught her attention. 

There were at least three mosquitos on every square inch of fabric. The little persistent pests thrust their little probing noses through the fine holes in an attempt to reach them through the netting and their high pitched buzzing was loud in the stillness of the night. Kagome gulped, leaning away from the edges and Inuyasha chuckled at her wide eyed apprehension.

“Welcome to Alaska,” he said.

“Holy crap,” she whispered. Carefully sitting up so that not an arm or leg brushed the sides of the tent, she ruffled through her stuff sack, searching for the bug spray.

“That shit’s not gonna change anything,” Inuyasha told her, unconsciously putting a hand over hers to shove the pungent smelling liquid back into the bag. 

“What if I roll over against the sides?” She asked, “I’m gonna have bites over everything!”

Inuyasha rolled his eyes and lay back down. “You’ll be fine,” he said, “Go to sleep.”

Kagome whined to herself softly before burrowing deep inside her sleeping bag so that the only thing he could see was her hair. 

… 

_ “Why aren’t you here? Why aren’t you here with me?” _

… 

Inuyasha jerked awake, half rising from the sleeping pad while his brain gradually came to full awareness. With a soft groan, he let himself fall back against the down layers. Kagome beside him murmured softly in her sleep and for a tense several seconds, he held his breath, holding completely still until he was sure she continued to sleep. And then his thoughts turned toward darker things. 

Kikyou.

They were both cut from the same, flawed cloth and it drew them together inevitably, two lost souls finding each other. There was solace in finding the same damaged scars inside of someone else and he fell into it without a care or awareness of its consequences. He was tired, weary from building and maintaining his walls against a world that felt so incompatibly different from his personal experience and with her, he could set aside that self imposed burden and withdraw into a shared, private, secluded place with her. They would spend afternoons, days, entire weekends in silence, quietly savoring a dark, comforting peace they created with each other’s company. It was an addictive depency he surrendered to willingly.

Love.

Was it love? He was sure it was. A love that soothed and pacified, a cool relief when the outside world overwhelmed him in much the same way he might numb an injury with ice.

But it was also a taxing love, draining, and demanding. Kikyou was jealous in her love, unappeasable and unwilling to share. He hadn’t even been aware of her vines slowly wrapping around his life until he blinked and glanced around, finding himself isolated both mentally and geographically from every supportive connection he’d been on the verge of creating in college. That was why her sudden absence was so devastating to him. 

Even with the advantage of distance both physical and chronological, he struggled to see what had been so burdensome about their love that drove Kikyou to flee so dramatically. Had he not supported her in every way that he could? Had he not loved her with everything that he had? Or were those the very things that drove her away?

The rain tapped a steady and gentle rhythm against the ceiling of their fabric shelter and Kagome’s breathing beside him, deep and even and alive, slowly drew him out of his nighttime musings. Their love had been at stasis, heavy and stagnant without permitting any growth. They both retreated into each other as though to create their own neverland. It had been a prison.

Inuyasha breathed in deeply, his diaphragm pulling a long draught of air into his veins. Gradually, a stray thought that fluttered into his consciousness like a butterfly, it came to his realization exactly what he’d been searching for.

Growth.

He’d exceeded the confines of the cage they’d built around themselves and a deeply buried need inside him was demanding space to breathe and expand. Kikyou had sensed it, known it was there and she could not bear it. And now he realized just why he hadn’t followed after her. He couldn’t. At his innermost core there was a spirit desperately searching for sunlight.

Guilt might have driven him to the farthest reaches of civilization to escape the eyes of friends and family. But he was searching as well. Somewhere in the densely forested mountain sides, lungs and muscles burning as he struggled to survive in the harsh beautiful landscapes, he’d been searching for new life, some kind of purpose or drive, an inspiration to push him forward. And then the realization arrived that he’d sought freedom from his cage in the worst possible way. Because the life and freedom his heart wanted was something that could only be found by facing another person. Not by tucking his tail and fleeing, but by turning around and facing the light. 

Inuyasha shifted, rolling to his side and glancing over to Kagome. His eyes traced her cheeks down to her chin, then over her lips, following her nose up to her eyes. Her lashes were dark and rested lightly against her skin and her brow was smooth and lax with sleep. Even in sleep, there was vivaciousness that seemed uniquely hers, alive and spirited, with the look of someone eagerly waiting for tomorrow. He wondered what she was dreaming about. To what bright, sunny place did her subconscious take her? And then, as though his gaze had been a physical touch that roused her, her brown eyes twitched, then opened slowly and the two of them silently gazed at each other, each searching for the same thing though they both had yet to give voice to that desire.

“Do you…,” his voice felt disembodied and strangely disconnected as he spoke, “Do you still want to make it your business?”

* * *

A/N: phew. Sorry for the long delay between posts. Now that the interesting part of the river is over, I actually have to figure out everyone’s backstory and actually develop the characters… and work has been crazy busy… :(

Hope everyone is having a good preholiday season and has lots of fun, restful plans for the upcoming festivities!

Chapter title is again derived from a John Muir quote.

Toodles!


	13. A Shower forever falling

Just a heads up that this chapter discusses suicide and grief. I tried to be sensitive and informed in the way I approached this topic. Please let me know if you have any concerns about the way it is handled in this chapter. 

… 

#  **The Call**

~ Kitty

**Chapter 12: A shower is forever falling**

… 

_“On no subject are our ideas more warped and pitiable than on death. ... Let children walk with nature, let them see the beautiful blendings and communions of death and life, their joyous inseparable unity, as taught in woods and meadows, plains and mountains and streams of our blessed star, and they will learn that death is stingless indeed, and as beautiful as life, and that the grave has no victory, for it never fights.”_

_― John Muir, A Thousand-Mile Walk to the Gulf_

* * *

Her brown eyes stared at him, wide and innocent and warm. She blinked as she gradually understood his question and briefly, he was afraid she would decline his offer. And then she shifted, bringing her full face into view and pulling the collar of his jacket down below her chin, tucked there snuggly and then she opened her mouth.

“Yeah, I do.” 

Her eyes smiled and her lips curved slightly. Encouragingly. And suddenly given the cue to speak, he found himself at a loss for words and didn’t know where to start.

“I…,” he tried, frowning as he considered how to explain himself, “I’m…”

He jumped to feel her fingertips lightly trace the line of his cheek. While objectively, her face could be described as smooth and neutral, he somehow felt profoundly like she could speak to him with only her gaze and was understanding of his struggle to communicate.

“I couldn’t do it,” he whispered finally.

Kagome’s eyes narrowed as she tried to read into the few scant words he managed to say.

“She wanted me to follow her, but I couldn’t do it.”

There was so much communicated in her silence as she watched him. Her gaze was direct and open, earnest in how it tried to understand him. There was sympathy there, of course, different from pity, and nonjudgmental. And some uncertainty, her brain struggling to fill in the gaps in between his stuttered sentences. Her lips were parted unconsciously, mouthing a question for clarity but the query was held back and instead her stare waited with patience and encouragement for him to find a way to share the darkness that lay in inky shadows behind his eyes.

“When I found her, it was too late,” he said, voice dropping even lower, “She said she’d be waiting for me, but… but I just couldn’t do it.”

… 

_“I’m sorry, Inuyasha, I can’t keep running this race anymore. My only solace is knowing that you won’t let me be alone for long. I’ll see you soon, my love._

_-Kikyou”_

_The slip of paper trembled as his eyes scanned the neatly written note. Fluttering, it slid out from his fingers like water, falling to the floor. His lungs burned as his brain slowly kicked into gear. And then suddenly, he was in motion, blindly racing upstairs, throwing open doors as he searched for her. A table fell over, a crash as their bedroom door separated from its hinges._

_Empty._

_The bedroom was empty, their study was empty. He stood stone still staring at their vacant bedsheets, his heart thudding in his chest like a wild beast driven to a frenzy. And then he heard it. Running water._

_He’d rushed to the bathroom door, nearly twisting off the door knob as it resisted him._

_“Kikyou?!” His voice cracked as he cried her name. “Kikyou! Let me in! Kikyou, please!”_

_Panic was bubbling up from the pit of his stomach. It grew like a ravenous snake, coiling around his guts and reaching upward to swallow his heart._

_“KIKYOU!!!”_

_Another entity entirely took possession of his body. He was hurling himself against the heavy wooden door before he realized it and the pain that flared up from where his shoulder met the unyielding surface went unheeded as he desperately sought to reach her._

_The wood cracked and groaned in protest of his abuse and then gave way in a scattering of splinters and he crawled through the jagged edged gap, his skin tearing in long, deep gashes against the broken door._

_Her hair was long and dark and swirled in the water in graceful, curving lines. Her skin was pale, an eerie paleness that was tinged with grey and somehow sickening the longer he stared at it. At first, he wasn’t sure if the ripples in his vision of her were from his own tears and his breath lodged in his throat so that the only sound he could make was a broken, croaking whisper._

_“Kikyou?”_

… 

The parade of emotions on his face was heartbreaking as she watched him relive whatever nightmare it was that played behind his eyes. He wasn’t giving her much to go on, but the dots she was connecting painted a horrible picture that she wanted to rescue him from.

“I couldn’t do it,” he kept repeating, “She’s waiting for me and I couldn’t follow her.”

Just as he thought he would fall back into the endless loop of darkness, self-loathing, and guilt, he felt her arms come around him and pulled him against her chest so that his ear was to her heart. The rhythmic beating of her pulse seemed to settle him. This slender, small person, alive with a brightness that was occasionally blinding for his tired eyes. She pulled him tighter against her as though to share just a bit of that sunshine with him. He drew in a long deep breath and smelled her scent and his together, mingling with his coat and her sleepwear. There was something remarkably stabilizing about the thought of their scents melding with each other and helped to draw him back up for air. Eventually, he stilled and his breathing returned to a normal cadence and he gently pulled back to examine her face.

“You…,” he said, hazel eyes meeting hers in a strange, painful sort of yearning, “You looked so much like her. At first it was all I could see.”

Her eyes widened and flashed with understanding, then concern.

“What about now?” She whispered, her voice sounding small and frightened of what his answer would be.

Their noses were close and her breath fell against his face, warm and soft, the softest kiss in the world.

“Now I see Kagome,” he said quietly, letting his eyes wander across her face. She let out a sigh, relieved.

“Can… can I stay like this for a bit?” 

Kagome wasn’t sure she could trust her voice to answer, so instead brought her arms around him again. His breath was hot against her chest and she shivered to feel it reach her skin. Gradually, tentatively, his hand came around her waist, pulling her body more firmly against his.

“I should have known,” he murmured against her, “I knew she was struggling under the pressure, and I didn’t help her.”

“Shhh,” Kagome whispered, bringing a hand to stroke his hair, “That’s not true.”

“I wasn’t enough for her.”

“That is absolutely not true!” Kagome pulled back, pushing against his shoulders to pry his body away from hers. She placed both hands on his cheeks, awkward in their horizontal position, and forced him to look her in the eye.

“I didn’t know Kikyou, and I haven’t known you very long, but I can tell you that is absolutely not true.”

His dark brows were heavy and low over his eyes as he gazed across to her. He bit his lip as he squinted, like he was desperately trying to convince himself of her declaration, while at the same time, clinging to the narrative that had been whispered in his mind for the past seven years. 

“She’s alone, and she’s waiting for me.”

“She’s at _peace_ now,” Kagome insisted, “She’s free of her pain now. And she’s right here with you.”

Kagome pressed a small hand to his chest, watching as he closed his eyes and shuddered.

“I’ve lost too,” she said quietly, “We carry those we lose, always. No matter how they leave us. We keep them safe inside our memories. And it’s our duty to live as fully as we can for their sake.”

A silence stretched out like a thin, high note held on violin strings. Gradually, Inuyasha shifted, clasping her small hand and pressing it harder against his chest and then he nodded, and sighed, and moved in closer, wanting the comfort of her arms again. Kagome moved obligingly, immediately enveloping him around the shoulders and sighing. Around them, rain continued to tap against their taught fabric tent and the hum of water and insects persisted outside their little shelter. It was warm and safe where he lay, pressed in close and more vulnerable than he’d ever allowed himself to be. And it was a heady euphoria that washed over him to be revealing these scars for the first time and to feel so wholly embraced for them. Without realizing it, he was drifting, and then, gradually, the dream wrapped around him again.

… 

_The slip of paper trembled as his eyes scanned the neatly written note. Fluttering, it slid out from his fingers like water, falling to the floor. His lungs burned as his brain slowly kicked into gear. And then suddenly, he was in motion, blindly racing upstairs, throwing open doors as he searched for her. A table fell over, a crash as their bedroom door separated from its hinges._

_“Why aren’t you here? Why aren’t you here with me?”_

_She stood before him, hair drenched, skin ghostly pale. Her eyes were piercing as they stared into his and the snake coiled around his heart and squeezed it tight._

_“I’m sorry,” he whispered, half choked as his throat closed around his words, “I’m sorry, I couldn’t do it, I’m sorry!”_

_“Why aren’t you here with me? Why have you left me alone?”_

_“I couldn’t!” He whispered desperately, his eyes begging her to understand, “I couldn’t, I’m sorry!”_

_Her face seemed to morph before him and, briefly, panic and bile rose in his throat as she reached toward his face. But the fingers that touched him weren’t frigid as they were when he’d pulled her from the tub, stiff and lifeless and cold. Her fingers were warm and the touch was gentle._

_“Why didn’t you come to me?”_

_His chest burned and it was only a faint, fleeting thought that registered that the voice asking the questions was deep, formed in a broad chest and a male throat._

_“Why didn’t you rely on me? Why couldn’t you be strong for me?”_

_He blinked and stared at the figure before him. She was crying, her tears mingling with the dampness of her hair and then a pressure valve released in his throat and erupted in a sob as he collapsed to his knees on the slippery, wet bathroom tile._

_She crouched down beside him, her fingertips grazing his chin to bring his gaze back up to her. Her eyes beseeched him, round and sincere. Something rose up inside him and his despair and anguish rushed out in a single, resounding question._

_“Why did you leave me?”_

_She winced at his brokenly voiced question. The apparition didn’t say a word but her eyes continued to bore into him. Gradually, painfully, it dawned on him what her tortured, sad eyes were trying to say, and a hint of comprehension entered his face. He blinked and squinted to examine her more closely, realizing the warmth behind the sadness in her gaze, and he reached out to her face to return her tender gesture. Kikyou seemed to smile, breaking their protracted stare and dropping her gaze down to his chest. Her hand retracted from his face and at first he moved with it, wishing to extend the contact. Then she pressed her palm to his chest, leaning in. When he met her eyes again, a true smile danced across her face, a smile he couldn’t recall her ever wearing in life. And then he felt her presence dissipate around him and to his surprise, the heavy aching emptiness that typically followed in her wake was replaced with a strange, foreign, floating sensation. He was rising, lifted up by a power born from inside himself._

_He thought of cotton grass, bobbing their large, fluffy heads in shy greetings when they first set foot on the taiga together. He thought of fireweed, busily and industriously repopulating the ashy wastelands following a blaze. He thought of the caribou, young and spry with its throbbing velvet lining reaching proudly for the sky. He thought of the flash of silver bodied grayling that shimmered beneath their rafts, darting and dashing through the crispy cold mountain creeks. He thought of the tiny weasel staring at them fearlessly from behind the tree stump and the flashy shrike that hunted beside their camp and the pair of hawks performing their incredible dance amidst a peerless sky. He thought of the moose cow and calf and the pulsing stillness of the ever evolving and growing land they traveled on. The mountains had been teaching him all these years by the example of its woodland inhabitants._

_No matter what you come out here searching for, there’s always one thing you’re sure to find._

_New life. The amazing display of small, insignificant lives fighting to thrive under the watchful gaze of rugged stone monoliths. The grit and resilience of wild hearts entangled together in this eternal dance of life, death, and rebirth, throbbing with a fervent, reverent joy for simply being alive._

_He was alive._

_That by itself is good enough._

… 

Consciousness came to him slowly. He was warm and it was dark and it took him several moments to realize why. Her hands idly stroked the back of his head, pausing when he shifted and sighed and finally raised his eyes to hers. Their intimacy didn’t register right away for him, there was only comfort, and familiarity, and a desire to stretch out this moment for as long as he could. Close enough for their noses to touch, they stared at each other for a time, the passage of which could have been seconds, or minutes, or days. Her eyes searched his and he wondered what she was searching for. He wondered what his eyes were telling her. The air was cool and moist but there was a heat inside their nest of puffy, downy covers, generated by their bodies and concentrated in the space between them. 

“Hi,” he whispered, breaking the serenity of the early grey morning.

“Good morning,” she answered, “Sleep well?”

“Yeah,” he said, his gaze soft, his lips curving gently, “Yeah, I did. Thanks.”

Internally, Kagome gulped at the expression he directed her way. His eyes were direct and she swore he was staring into her soul. But it was with mixed feelings as she continued to meet his eyes, searching. It had been a lot to unpack last night and she’d found herself staring up at the probing, persistent mosquitos milling around the fine mesh of her tent for hours, listening to his even breathing beside her. He never did quite get the full story out and she’s been left to piece together the haphazard picture with only a few hints to guide the way. And the picture that was formed, however tragic, left her conflicted over what her part should be in the present story. 

Outside it was still raining, increasing from sporadic taps to a persistent hum and backlit by the diffused light of the ever present arctic sun, little dark spots with spindly legs laying pressed against the tent fabric. 

“Ew!” Kagome exclaimed suddenly, the distraction of hundreds of insect corpses thoroughly pulling her mind from her melodramatic thoughts, “Are those all mosquitos?”

Inuyasha huffed a chuckle as he glanced up and around them. The swarming army that had been sieging them in their tent had all been vanquished thanks to the gift of rain and their little, limp bodies clung to the damp fabric like flies on flypaper. 

“Yup,” he answered, rolling over to his back. An arm came under her head and she found herself lying pressed against a broad, firm chest and she stiffened briefly, before resolutely forcing her body to relax against his. If he noticed her hesitation, he didn’t give any indication, and instead continued carelessly. “It’s better than last night, isn’t it? At least they’re all dead now.”

“But they’re all stuck to the tent…” Kagome complained. Then she blinked, and frowned, and sat up abruptly.

“Fuck!” She whispered fiercely to him, “Fuck! I left my clothes out to dry!”

It was silent in the tent for a breath, then Inuyasha laughed, tucking his abandoned arm behind his head and grinning toothily at her.

“Sucks to be you,” he teased. Kagome squinted her eyes and stuck out her tongue at him, to which he only chuckled more. She sighed and sat cross legged, glancing around the fabric shelter, the light around them tinged orange and red. Her gaze was flighty, it was a confined space and she couldn’t find something for her eyes to focus on that wasn’t the overly attractive man who’d laid his heart bare to her the night before laying beside her. His braid curled around beside him like a sleeping serpent and his bangs were mussed and wild. The angular face was relaxed and playful, a spark of mischief in his eyes that had been growing slowly since the day they first embarked on this expedition together. And now, beneath all this, there was a serenity that seemed to permeate his aura, surfacing in the languid way his muscles drew his smile to his ears. How could his obvious contented happiness create such anxious restlessness in her? Shouldn’t she be happy to see how comfortable he was with her, despite her looks and similarities with someone who’d torn such a great rift in his mind?

Her distress eventually seemed to reach him and he responded gently.

“The tarp’s doubled over,” he said, sitting up and pointing upward, “Want me to open it up and make a little changing shelter for you? I can try to start a fire, too.”

Kagome’s relief was immediate and Inuyasha had to calm a flutter in his chest when she flashed him an open grateful smile. Her new awkwardness around him did not go unnoticed, but her sincere appreciation for his offer quelled some of his budding apprehension. The return of more primitive concerns like shelter from the elements and a hot cup of coffee was enough of an excuse for both of them to shove past the new glass barrier between them in their minds. Kagome eyed him while he got to work, slipping on a couple rainproof layers before bracing himself for the elements. Following him, Kagome put on an exaggerated look of disgust as she exited the tent to collect her clothes.

“Ugh! This sucks!”

To say it was a miserable morning seemed an understatement. Cold, sodden clothes had an unfortunate tendency to wick all warmth from the body and Kagome was shivering before she could pull the clingy, wet fabric over her legs and hips. She hopped from foot to foot, hugging herself tightly inside Inuyasha’s jacket, peering out from under the tarp he’d set up for her. Sango and Miroku were reluctant to emerge that morning, and despite her shivering, Kagome found herself laughing at the hidden couple while Inuyasha tried his best to encourage them out, cajoling them with a combination of threats and taunts.

“Inuyasha,” a muffled, harried voice sounded from within, “If you think you’re going to lure us out that way, you’re in for a great disappointment.”

“Get your asses out here or I swear to god I’ll tear a hole in your tent!”

“If you do that,” Sango’s voice was hard and steely, “I will tell your brother to permanently end your ramen supply.”

Inuyasha sputtered while Kagome enjoyed the warming glow of her laughter causing stitches in her sides. Eventually, coffee was brewed and consumed against a backdrop pitter-patter of rain and Kagome nudged Sango in an attempt to liven up their spirits, but Sango was inconsolable.

“Drip drip drop, little April shower beating a tune as you fall all around,” Kagome tried, her teeth clattering as she struggled to remember the words, “Drip drip drop, little April shower, what can compare to your beautiful sound!”

Miroku groaned. “No Kagome,” he begged, “Please, just no…”

Kagome pouted at him. “Fine then,” she said, “Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens! Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens!”

Under her breath, Sango joined in. “Brown paper packages tied up with strings. These are a few of my favorite things.”

“That’s better!” Kagome patted Sango’s shoulder while Miroku contemplated all the ways he could strangle Kagome without Inuyasha or Sango being the wiser.

“Cream colored ponies and crisp apple strudel…” The atmosphere was a strange mix of cheery and despondent in which the four humans lugged and dragged and hauled the packed rafts back to the river. Already chilled and shivering, the cold water felt colder than ever as they waded in until the rafts could float without obstruction. And then they were off.

“Doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles, wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings…”

… 

Damp is a very particular brand of misery that seeps into you just like it seeps into your clothing. Even if the vast majority of her body was dry, Kagome felt damp and cold, threw and threw. The cold crept into her in stages, first manifesting in her body’s reluctance to send blood to her fingertips and toes. No matter how much effort she placed in her paddling, the skin on her arms were dotted with goosebumps and her fingers were numb. Movement was her friend, and movement was her enemy. While it produced the warm, beating heat that kept her body functioning, her skin would tingle and crawl as her motion disrupted the tiny, thin layer of warm moisture next to her skin and waft in a puff of cold, chilly air. And then she’d shiver and invite in even more cold. Eventually, her peppy, bright sounding melodies were overrun with her cold stutterings.

“L-let’s go f-fly a kite! Up to th-the highest h-height!”

Inuyasha eyed her with concern, watching her stiff raincoat tremble as the muscles inside fought to generate some kind of life-giving warmth. Repeatedly, he offered his jacket, and repeatedly he was turned down.

“I d-don’t want to get it wet,” she insisted, “It’s still r-r-raining.”

Kagome was startled when she heard an animalistic growl behind her, and before she could turn and send him perplexed and concerned look, his arms descended around her, his paddle holding her hostage in the circle of his embrace. 

“You’re shivering is making _me_ cold, wench!”

“I thought I told you to stop calling me that!”

“Let’s pull over, I’m building you a fire.”

Kagome protested, pushing upward against his arms in an attempt to escape. They were already falling behind as it is, with the dreary weather and the wind appearing determined to ensnare them in the arctic circle. When he released her to steer them back to land, she immediately dipped her paddle into the water, countering his attempts to head for shore.

“I’m fine!” she insisted, pushing upwards against his arms in an effort to escape, “It’s just a little shower.”

“I’ve seen it rain for two months straight!”

“Something wrong?” Miroku called from the raft next over. 

Inuyasha took a recollecting breath before announcing, “We’re pulling over!”

He was rough and gentle at the same time, bodily lifting her up and out of the boat to keep her from needing to slosh through the shallows. He set her down quickly, rushing back to the boat to save it from floating away, and then returned to toss his jacket over her head.

“Strip!” he ordered, before turning to search for standing dead wood, their only hope for fuel that was not waterlogged. Sango came up beside Kagome, her eyes bright and hopeful for the promise of fire.

“Strip!” she said, attempting to pull her tone down to mimic Inuyasha. She laughed while Kagome rolled her eyes.

“I’m not that cold,” Kagome insisted to Sango, peeling off her clothing regardless. Sango shook her head and patted Kagome’s shoulder.

“I’m just impressed how close you two have gotten!” she said, laughing. Kagome rolled her eyes and gave Sango a shove, but she also bit her lip and sighed, her thoughts briefly returning to the very laden baggage she’d learned from him last night.

“Sango,” she said, lowering her voice, “Did you know Kikyou?”

The taller girl gave her a stunned look, freezing for a good full second before whispering incredulously, “He’s talked to you about _Kikyou_?!”

“By your reaction, I can’t tell if that’s a good or bad thing…,” Kagome said, confused apprehension dawning on her face.

Sango recollected herself quickly, shaking her head and taking a long breath. “I’m just surprised he opened up to you about her,” she said, “He _never_ talks about her. Even while he was dating her.”

Kagome studied Sango’s face closely. “Did… Did you know her?”

Sango blew a raspberry, casting her gaze toward the grey skies. “We knew her in the barest sense of the word,” she said, “She wasn’t really a fan of socializing, and I’m pretty sure she didn’t like me and Miroku very well.”

Tipping her head back down, Sango frowned at the grey rocks at their feet. As she continued, her voice took on a defeated tone. “We were already pretty much Inuyasha’s only real friends. He basically disappeared after they started dating.”

She now glanced up to observe Kagome. She was worrying at her lip, listening to all this. Kagome had always been an easy read, her expressive eyes as transparent as a smile or grimace. She could tell her best and oldest friend had a curiosity and attraction for their lone wolf friend and was suddenly concerned that Inuyasha’s ex would throw a wrench in Miroku’s plans. Sango pinched her lips together as she watched Kagome absorb and mull over the new knowledge. While she was onboard with the notion of their two best friends getting together, her loyalties ultimately lay with Kagome on this matter, regardless of how strongly Miroku wanted this to work. And Sango felt her friend deserved the whole picture before jumping in.

“The thing they had wasn’t good for either of them,” Sango said quietly, “But I think it was the easiest thing for both of them. It was escapist. When they broke up, I guess Inuyasha wasn’t ready to face the world again and ran off the Alaska.”

And now, a flurry of expression on Kagome’s face brought Sango to silence. The young woman’s look was almost severe, her brows knitting together tightly as her jaw stiffened, the corners of her lips pulling into a thin, straight line.

“Where…,” Kagome seemed short of breath as she spoke, “Where’s Kikyou now?”

Sango was taken aback, answering without any real thought. “I don’t know,” she said, “Inuyasha never said anything. I just assumed she broke up with him when Miroku told me he’d found Inuyasha was living a log cabin out in the mountains.”

Kagome’s eyes flickered as she seemed to process a very large quantity of information. Sango watched her critically, a spark of curiosity beginning to grow as she wondered what Inuyasha had told her about Kikyou. She never had any great regard for the icy woman, but by Kagome’s reaction, she began to feel there was a dramatic story there that she was missing out on. But Kagome kept the secret, putting on a smile and shining it on Sango with a blatant forcefulness that made her uneasy.

“Let’s hang up our clothes,” she said, “I think the rain’s dying down.”

Once again in his coat, Kagome and Sango busied themselves by wringing out damp clothing and draping it over a collection of convenient driftwood branches. Their conversation drifted to more menial things and any tension from earlier dissipated with the receding rain. Meanwhile Inuyasha hauled whole tree trunks from the nearby forest, sounding like a large, oversized forest beast as he crashed his way through the branches. Kagome’s eyebrows shot up at the sight, equal parts impressed and humored by the image, leaves and twigs sticking out of his hair, with a decent sized trunk slung over one shoulder and tucked under the other. He glanced at her, the determined focus on his face softening a tad to see her swallowed up by his jacket once more.

“Start jumping around or something,” he said, trudging to the bare gravel stretch and tossing the logs down nonchalantly. 

Fire was a finicky flirt for Inuyasha for the next several minutes, some tinder catching briefly before ultimately fizzling out. Eventually, Inuyasha stood abruptly, grumbling a loud “fuck this!” and grabbing a bottle of kerosene and dumping its contents onto the sodden wood. 

“Oh my god, be careful!” Kagome cried, alarmed. Inuyasha grunted as he flicked his lighter. Flame was immediate and he quickly began piling on somewhat dry leaves and twigs to achieve a self sustaining fire. Heat source tended to, Inuyasha turned to Kagome.

Kagome had kicked off her shoes in the process of undressing and she stood barefoot, carefully perched on a couple smooth stones amidst poking sticks and pebbles, and reluctant to risk the soles of her feet to step closer to the fire. Unceremoniously, he bent down and swept an arm behind her knees, catching her with the other when she fell backward with a yelp and carried her to the growing fire. He set her down carefully and she felt him hold his position behind her. 

“Not too hot?” He asked her softly. 

“N-no,” Kagome said, “This is good.”

She wasn’t sure when, but at some point between him quite literally sweeping her off her feet and now, the excited heart in her chest had begun to buzz. He carried her like she weighed nothing at all and when he placed his hands on her arms, bracing her, supporting her, she had to remind herself to breath. She was still unsure what this nameless relationship between them was, but she found herself leaning back into him, her body accepting the intimate stance even if the rational part of her brain raised concerns. Across from them, she saw a mirror image, Sango leaning back against Miroku with his arms wrapped around her. She smiled, gazing over to them, before returning her eyes to the fire. The warm, yellow glow slowly penetrated her cold, trembling skin and dried her clothes. They were all focused on the fire, while unnoticed above them, the golden sun pushed back just a small crack in the clouds to peer down at them below.

The rain had ended.

* * *

A/N: Has anyone ever been literally smacked in the face by the urge to write (or paint, or whatever your jam is)? I totally have so much work I _should_ be doing but just had to sit down and punch this out… I was originally planning to put this fic aside until December :P

Anyways, sorry (again) for how meandery this story is… I’m trying to play things out realistically while at the same time somehow get to my original vision for the end… eh… we’ll see. Thanks for reading and let me know what you think! 


	14. Going alone in silence

A/N: OMG super sorry this took so long! I can’t believe how hectic its gotten in the last several weeks! Without further ado, here’s the next chapter:

* * *

#  **The Call**

~ Kitty

**Chapter 13: Going alone in silence**

… 

_ “A few minutes ago every tree was excited, bowing to the roaring storm, waving, swirling, tossing their branches in glorious enthusiasm like worship. But though to the outer ear these trees are now silent, their songs never cease.”  _

_ ― John Muir _

* * *

“Oh my butt, my butt, my butt,” Kagome moaned as she leaned over to bring her rear end close to the slowly dying fire. Her neoprene shorts, while they would be an advantage  _ in _ the water, worked against her attempts to get dry on land and held moisture stubbornly against her skin. 

“Just don’t burn a hole in you shorts,” Inuyasha said, eyeing her strangely. Her position was both comical and suggestive at the same time and he tried to busy himself with tying down their gear in their raft in preparation for tackling the next several miles of river.

“Totally and completely worth it,” Kagome responded, “I have a whole new appreciation for butt warmer seats in cars now.”

Inuyasha rolled his eyes with a snort before straightening and glancing back at her. He took a brief opportunity to absorb the humorous pose while Kagome chatted with Sango, both girls warming their posteriors before taking to the water again. They stood close enough for steam to visibly rise off their clothing. It was a bizarre sight and for the first time, Inuyasha wished for a camera to capture the ridiculous moment. He glanced up to spot Miroku staring and grinning, prompting him to send a full, heavy dry sack into the man’s abdomen.

“Oof!” Miroku complained, “Hey! I’m allowed to stare, that’s my fiancé!”

Inuyasha huffed and rolled his eyes. “Just get your raft ready,” he ordered, pretending to be very busy with his own straps and packs. From the corner of his eye, however, he enjoyed the humorous view for a moment longer, then decided it was time to head out.

“Alright, all aboard,” he shouted.

Kagome groaned as she reluctantly left the fire’s warm vicinity and helped douse it with a few potfulls of river water. River stones clattered and tinkled as she stepped gingerly over top of them. The sections of her clothing that were still damp made themselves known immediately as cool air flowed overtop of them, raising goosebumps along her arms and legs. But at least her butt was dry.

Fire tended to, Kagome shifted to help push and shove the beached rafts back into the river, squealing when her toes made contact with the cold water. She could practically trace the veiny path her nerves took to relay the biting, frigid sensation up to her brain. She braced herself against the inflated walls of the raft, grimacing as she tried to balance herself enough to lift a leg over and into the vessel. After a second or two of struggle, a sense of deja vu swept over her when a callused, wide hand entered her field of view, very similar to how he’d aided her on land in the tangled alders.

His hands were one of those small features that stuck out to her in a particularly striking way. They were wide and rough, evidence of the rugged life he lived in the mountains. And they were firm, with a strong, secure grip that felt like a vice closing around her hand as he helped her back into the raft. And yet, those rough, firm hands felt careful and delicate in the way they handled hers. She’d offered up her hand to many, many men in her life. Cold, clammy hands, limp sweaty hands. Hard hands, that closed in tight around hers as though to crush her bones. She hated those the most, the type accompanied by beady, leering eyes that saw her for her slim waist and petite frame. The type that jerked sharply at her arms to tip her off kilter. Inuyasha’s hands were different. When they closed in around her fingers, instead of feeling trapped, she felt safe. She didn’t fear his grip, as inescapable as it was, because he let her go freely. There as a steadying presence, but non intrusive in the way that he held her. They were responsive, closing in when she needed them, opening up when she found her center. And it was instinctive, innately aware when he should hold tight, and just how much pressure to impart. His were hands that could nurture life. 

The sun slowly grew in strength throughout the day until it was piercing them with its heat by mid afternoon. They were silent for the most part, grunting and sighing as they paddled. She was hardly aware of it but very quickly, it seemed their entire existence was whittled down to pulling stroke after stroke. Her mind began to fizzle down for a foggy blank and aching fatigue climbed gradually in her arms and back. Eventually, she blinked, startled to realize that the muscles in her shoulders, her forearms and fingers alternatively screamed and seized up from the monotonous exertion. Her back seemed permanently contorted into a stiff slouch and a strange rubbery flatulence from their squeaky raft cried out every time she shifted her seat to stretch it out.

“You should take a break,” his voice spoke up from behind her, “And drink some water.”

She felt his suggestion as a wave of temptation as her arms begged her to accept the offered rest. 

“I don’t wanna be dead weight,” she said instead. She felt a tug on her paddle as he grasped it to pull out of her numb, cramped fingers and she pouted as he tucked it inside the raft. “I can still paddle,” she insisted.

Warm arms crept in from the edges of her peripheral vision and strong hands took hold of hers. Grasping her wrists, they lifted them up in front of them and Kagome had to wince as she took a closer look. Her fingers were pale, as though all her blood had been squeezed out of them from the hours of maintaining the stationary, tense position. They trembled violently when she tried to open them.

“Yer hands look like they’re permanently molded to the paddle shaft,” he retorted. His voice was gruff but his fingers were gentle. He flipped her palms upward and carefully pressed his thumbs into the flesh of her hands and Kagome found it difficult to stifle the sigh as her cramped, locked muscles were kneaded apart. 

“Take a break, stretch your hands, drink some water,” he said, releasing her to take up his paddle again. Kagome allowed a begrudging smile to creep onto her face and she sighed, shaking her head.

“Aye, aye captain,” she said, shaking her arms out before taking hold of one hand’s fingers to force it open. She winced and wanted to whimper from the pain. But it was over quickly and relief soon set in her overexerted muscles. Behind her, Inuyasha snorted.

“Upgraded from ‘mom’ at least,” he teased. The smile widened on her face and she giggled. It was silent for a breath, the water softly lapping at the raft as the minimal current slowly, carefully brought them downstream. Her hands were now throbbing as blood and sensitivity returned to them and then her mind turned to another aching part of her. Groaning, she tried to sit upright, the hours of perching on the makeshift seat in the raft with no back support had done a number on her spine and when she straightened, it was against a soundtrack of little popping cracks as her vertebrae realigned themselves.

“Back stiff?” 

“Mhmm, this is worse than my desk job.”

Kagome was startled when a pair of hands appeared at her shoulders and pulled her backwards. The loss of balance initially made her rigid as she involuntarily froze up. But her body trusted these hands and she relaxed almost as quickly as she tensed, and shortly after, she found herself reclined comfortably against the man behind her, her back singing its relief to finally have a firm, solid backrest. 

“Better?”

“... mhmm…”

Inside, Kagome was sure her heart had stopped beating. Even through the layers of clothing and her life jacket, her back burned warm by the knowledge of their proximity. The excitement her buzzing nerve endings elicited was compounded by her conflicted feelings over their ambiguous and murky relationship and for an extended time, she was silent and anxious. 

Inuyasha, for his part, was torn between two internally screaming voices. One frantically urging him not to push his luck, the other berating him over  _ what the fuck do you think you’re doing, you flaming idiot?! _ She’d been so warm to him these last two weeks, sunny and welcoming, and despite their initial turbulent start, he’d come to feel easy in her presence, comforted even, and he hoped she felt the same. But yesterday had been dark and stormy and he sensed a change in her attitude towards him, cautious now, and uncertain. He’d shared too much, frightened her off. Perhaps she saw him now as pathetic and broken as he saw himself, burdensome, and his actions were an unconscious plea to keep her close.

In the end, it was Kagome, bold and brave, who broke the ice.

“Thanks for opening up to me yesterday.”

Could his brain possibly function any slower? Inuyasha could practically hear the screech in the gears of his mind as he struggled to piece together a reply. In the circle of his arms, her small, slender body turned and then she was staring up at him with bright, shining eyes.

“Thanks for trusting me.” Her voice was soft and warm, there was a smile there, in the quirk of her lips. An oppressive weight suddenly lifted from his chest as relief washed over him. He hadn’t been aware of how much he feared her rejection of his past and it made something inside him shiver and quake to see her react in the opposite direction.

For lack of a better response, he resorted to his trusty fallback. Inuyasha grunted.

The tinkle of her laughter was suddenly the most musical thing to his ears. Her eyes crinkled with humor before blinking and looking aside while she shook her head. They hovered in this excited, peaceful silence for a breath or two longer, her using his chest as a backrest, him quietly appreciating the feel of connection with another breathing body. The wind was with them and they drifted downstream steadily. Deep green scenery drifted by, and far above them, the sun was slowly gaining dominance in the sky and their raft suddenly seemed isolated and private, a little world unto itself and intimate. Eventually, Kagome heard Inuyasha breathe a long, deep sigh and then she found his arms reach around her again, shyly, carefully, and when she made no indication that the encroaching contact was unwelcome, she felt the tickling of rough stubble against her cheek and eventually his chin came forward to rest on her shoulder.

“Thanks,” his voice said, low and deep, and tingles ran up and down her spine to feel his breath against her skin, “Thanks for listening.”

Kagome smiled to herself, tucked securely against his chest. Whatever, she decided, shoving aside the little voice of caution in her mind. With a sigh, she turned her head to press her cheek more firmly against his, enjoying the sensation elicited by their contact. She felt his arms tense briefly, before constructing around her, pulling them together in a tight, warm hug. The forest lining the river bank was thick and lush and green, a deep, dark green both foreboding and inviting and reflected in the water as a gently shimmering mirage. She gazed at the green thoughtfully, reflecting how just a week ago, this land had been strange and frightening to her, a place to be admired from a distance, but not to be trespassed. She no longer felt that way. And while it was still mysterious with a dark and eerie aura, it comforted her to watch it drift by. She had traversed it, fought and toiled her way through it, spied its living secrets and accepted its harrowing challenges. She couldn’t claim mastery of this land yet, she doubted anyone ever could, but she felt a sort of kinship with the wild lives in it, having breathed their air and tasted their water. And the smile on her face deepened, hooded, with a smoldering sparkle in her eye. Because her mind had now drifted to the hermit behind her and how her initial impressions of him were not so different from the wilderness he inhabited. Gruff, impenetrable, and daunting as any snow capped mountain, but alluring in appearance. And then she had to stifle a chuckle, the thought occurring to her that she’d been seduced, both by the beauty of the forest around them, and the attractive mountain guide behind her. And both were hers, for the moment at least, and she felt a surge of happy, warm contentment with this knowledge. The boat rocked them gently and feeling more peaceful than she could remember, Kagome released her mind to drift to sleep. 

… 

After one and a half weeks in twenty four hour daylight, each traveler had fully converted to village time. It was easy to lose track of the hours between nodding off and spurts of paddling. The monotony of the lazy river made the flow of time seem like a single long endless drudge and Kagome alternated between bouts of sleepy fatigue and restless cabin fever. She was heading for delirium with all this mindless paddling and she was going to make sure everyone knew it.

“Just whistle while you work! Dada da da da da da! And cheerfully together we can tidy up the place!”

Inuyasha groaned into his hand. His noises of complaint spurred her on and made her sing even louder. 

“So hum a merry tune! Doo do do do do do doo! It wont take long till there’s a song to help you set the pace!”

“Argh, stop, please!” He practically begged. He had to admit, he was sorely tempted to toss the young woman into the water.

“Different song?” Kagome chirped, “Alrighty then!”

Before he could utter protest, she was off again.

“Hi-ho! Hi-ho! It’s off to work we go!”

“Cut it out with the Disney!”

Huffing, Kagome turned to pout at Inuyasha. She was able to hold her expression for one, perhaps two seconds before the beleaguered look on his face managed to tip her into maniacal cackling. Inuyasha’s face shifted from peeved to hesitant concern for her mental state. It was a minute or two before she managed to calm her giggles.

“Ah, I think I can understand why ancient sailors go mad,” she said with a sigh.

“Because of their crazy crew mates?”

“Har, har, har,” Kagome laughed sarcastically. The sunglasses obstructed her eyes but her lips more than made up for them as she sent him a wide, beaming smile. Perhaps too wide, as she clearly was entering is dissociative state of mind. The tedious boredom was wearing away at her, he observed, and he heaved a sigh.

“Just pick a better song,” he said with no small amount of defeat.

“Um… country roads?”

She was surprised when she suddenly felt a weight on her shoulder. His brow was damp from the beaming sun and the endless paddling. She felt him sigh in exasperation, a slight groan in his throat. Then he sat up abruptly, a frown still decorating his forehead.

“Fine,” he said, “Better than fucking Disney.”

Kagome wasted no time.

“Almost heaven, West Virginia, Blue Ridge Mountains, Shenandoah River! Life is old there, older than the trees, younger than the mountains, blowing like a breeze! Country roads…!”

The river rocked them gently with each push of the paddle. The water was cool when it splashed and sprayed against their hands and faces. Overhead, the sun burned even more of the clouds away until they were a scattering of fluffy white cotton balls slowly drifting across the sky. The air was filled with the twitters of songbirds as they danced and twirled in the tree branches lining the river. They made good time, taking turns as the constant, torturous exercise wore away at their bodies. As they progressed, Inuyasha found himself frowning, a little tendril of thought wriggling its way into the forefront of his mind. 

“I hear her voice in the morning hour she calls me. Radio reminds me of my home far away! Driving down this road I get a feeling that I could have been home yesterday, yesterday!”

They were heading home, or at least Kagome was. It was as if the thought created a vacuum inside of him, empty, barren. Suddenly, the familiar wilderness surrounding them was tinged with a little bit of the unfamiliar, feeling strange and foreign to him as he slowly realized the company he was keeping would be gone soon, in just a matter of days.

He’d been alone for years, stagnating in a strange state of apathy. There had been dark times, usually in the perpetual winter night, when he began to feel a thing like loneliness creeping into his heart and mind. But he’d been lonely all his life, and isolated during his time with Kikyou. He’d felt alone, but less so lonely, merely numb. Now, however, just the thought of returning Kagome and Sango and Miroku back to civilization pierced him more sharply than if a blade were plunged into his body and try as he might to stave off full awareness of this, a tugging in his heart persisted as he watched the back of Kagome’s head as she swayed in time to the words she sang.

“Country roads, take me home! To the place I belong! West Virginia, mountain mama, take me home, country roads!”

… 

It was well into twilight hour when they decided it to high time to pull over and rest. Their rafts belched and squelched as they made contact with the pebbly shallows and the river stones clattered and knocked against each other as they scrambled up the gravel bar, beaching the floating vessels and unloading their packs. The clouds were bedazzling in their hot pinks and oranges, rewarding them for their long day with a display of color unmatched in any manmade creation. All four of them paused repeatedly in their tasks of setting up camp to appreciate the view, punctuated by the sparse calls of water fowl and rustles of the wind in the trees. As soon as she was finished with her share of duties, Kagome immediately dove into a dry bag, tossing up stuff sacks, until she re-emerged with a little black notebook.

“Those colors are awesome!” She exclaimed, pulling out a little watercolor palette and rushing toward the water. She plunked down beside the river, dipping her brushes into the current and precariously balanced her paints beside her. Inuyasha found himself approaching her before he knew it, his heart controlling his feet as it continued to ache over the knowledge that she would soon be gone.

When he was close, Kagome turned to beam up at him, a warm, coy smile. He wondered if she knew just how much that smile crashed through his insides and scrambled his brain. She shifted slightly to make space on the large rock she was sitting on. He sat beside her quietly, a smile slowly growing on his face as he watched her busily mixing her colors to recreate the exact shade of stunning, golden orange scattered across the sky and clouds. Her fingers were clumsy and more than once he leapt to attention to rescue an escaping paintbrush.

“How’re you gonna paint anything?” he asked, “Yer hands can barely function.”

Kagome shrugged. “Que sera sera,” she said, her full attention on the stiff white page of her journal, slowly being stained the brilliant colors of tonight’s sunset. Her hands shook violently as they tried to maintain control of her paintbrush, but her jittery movements added to the painting, accentuating the random, haphazard lines found in nature. They stayed quiet for an extended, peaceful stretch, the combined sounds of trickling water and the swirl of her paintbrush against the surface of her palette creating a soothing soundtrack. He tilted his chin upward, contemplating the energetically colored clouds, and wondered when was the last time he’d taken a moment to simply absorb the powerful serenity of nightfall after a long day of hard work.

“I miss the moon,” Kagome said suddenly. Inuyasha shifted in his seat to glance at her, raising an eyebrow. She was leaning forward on her knees, tapping the wooden handle of her brush against her lip. Then she held still, opening her mouth to nibble the well worn handle. He was captivated by the absent minded motion for a pause, but then the silence stretched out longer and he frowned, trying to decipher meaning in her seemingly random thought.

“Waddya mean?”

The girl sighed, her face serious as though perplexed with herself. She met his gaze and shrugged.

“I miss the moon,” she repeated, “I miss nighttime, I miss the shadows. I don’t know, I just miss it.”

Inuyasha gave her a concerned look, clearly baffled by her statement.

“I like to drive out to the middle of nowhere during the full moon and climb on top of my car and just lay there,” she said casually. He watched the softness in her eyes as she spoke.

“It used to be how I’d make time to think,” she continued, “my reset button.”

He felt he ought to make some indication, an acknowledgement that he was following. When words escaped him, he wound up grunting again.

Kagome laughed, turning away from her art to give him a mock exasperated look. 

“Back to Neanderthal? Come on, man!” She joked. But then her brow puckered to note the hint of distress in his face and moved a hand to his knee. Inuyasha inhaled sharply at the contact, her hand sparked lightning to race up his thigh.

“It’s ok,” she said gently, “I’m just teasing you.”

Kagome sighed, bringing her elbows to her knees as she waited for her paint to dry. Her gaze was over the water but her attention was on the man beside her. Their journey was ending soon, and their association along with it. She couldn’t be sure how the quiet, enigmatic man sharing her rock felt about it, whether he was anxious or relieved, but she liked to think he sat so close, close enough for her to lean against him, because he was reluctant to see them go and that he’d feel their absence when they were gone. 

There was a cheerful clink and clatter in the rocks behind them and Miroku and Sango came up to join the pair at the water’s edge. 

“What are you two up to?” Sango asked.

Kagome shifted to show Sango her artwork, receiving a chorus of praise from her friend. 

“Dinner’s ready soon,” Miroku said, handing Inuyasha and Kagome each of mug of whiskey.

“Cheers to our second to last night in the backcountry!” He exclaimed, striking a triumphant pose with his glass toasted high in the air. The metal mug trembled in his hand, it’s folding handles clattering as he fought exhaustion from the day of paddling. Beside her, Kagome heard Inuyasha heave a sigh and she glanced over to spot him staring glumly down at his drink. Swaying so that her shoulder thumped against his, she mimicked Miroku’s motion, raising her mug to the fiery orange sky.

“Cheers!” Kagome said before taking a hearty swig. It burned all the way down and she coughed, thumping her chest. Inuyasha snorted at her antics, but also raised a hand to steady her mug while the other reached up to pat her back. Miroku, ever sharp eyed for any sign his friend was lowering his walls, smirked at Inuyasha, who glared back and immediately retracted his hands. 

“Woo!” Kagome said, “I can’t believe it’s almost over, I feel like we got dropped off yesterday!”

Sango agreed. “I both can’t wait to get back and into a hot shower, and kind of want to stay out here forever.”

“No work, no bills, just mountains and clean air. I used to think you were crazy,” Miroku told Inuyasha, “But now I think I see the appeal.”

Inuyasha rolled his eyes and snorted. “I’d like to see you survive a full year,” he challenged.

Sango and Kagome both laughed. “Yeah, I think the cold would send us all scurrying back,” Sango conceded.

Dinner was served shortly after and they were all snuggled into their tents soon after that. The long, arduous day quickly had Miroku snoring away but Inuyasha and Kagome lay quietly side by side for a while. He listened to her shift, and settle and shift again. When he turned to glance at her, he jumped slightly to find her eyes focused on him. 

Having been caught staring, she glanced away embarrassed. She nibbled her lip, frowned, and she sighed. She looked back at him and he narrowed his eyes suspiciously, a look that made her giggle.

“I’m gonna miss it out here,” she whispered, “It’s gonna feel like a dream when we get back.”

Inuyasha snorted. “City life’s busy, ain’t it? You won't have the time,” he said, “Besides, there’s not much to miss.”

“I’ll miss you,” she said teasingly, a mischievous glint in her deep brown eyes.

Kagome giggled at him as he opened and closed his mouth dumbly searching for a response. He blinked rapidly, his eyelids struggling to contain eyes that bugged out in surprise of her remark. She glanced away, a hand coming up to tuck a bang back behind her ear.

“I bet you’ll be relieved,” she ventured, peaking back at him from the corner of her eye, “to have us out of your hair.”

Kagome was surprised by the strength of his reaction to her statement. She watched his eyes as emotion flickered through them, until his gaze eventually landed on a fierce, solemn look that seemed to be asking her something he could not quite put into words. His lips pressed against each other and his stare was conflicted, but in the end, all that came out was a sheepish, embarrassed grunt. Kagome sent him teasing look, an eyebrow raised, before softening, a warm smile on her lips. Their eyes searched each other’s face for a breath or two more, so much and so little communicated in the silence. The air seemed thick, somehow heavy and tense, as they both danced on the edge of something neither was ready to recognize. 

And then Kagome sighed and blinked, taking her lower lip between her teeth, and turned to stare at the ceiling. He watched her, her eyes staring hard and bright at the lines in the tent fabric. Her breathing was agitated, shallow, and he wondered what she was thinking about. Her restlessness unsettled him and gradually, a bud of anxiety grew within his chest 

Her eyes were pensive and sober when they met his again. But despite the shift in mood, Inuyasha found himself leaning in, willing and open to hearing her thoughts where with anyone else he might have immediately reverted back to his prickly, defensive self. He was surprised at himself, his attachment to a woman who’d been a stranger barely two weeks ago. All his senses were focused on her as she took a breath, opening her mouth to speak.

“Have you ever thought of getting a job and moving back?”

The silence was excruciating. Inuyasha frowned. A part of him latched on to her question strongly, wishing to take it as an invitation of sorts. Another rejected it immediately, balking at the mere thought of shouldering burdens he’d run away from for years.

“Why should I move back?” He asked, the little defensive child inside rising up in protest to the suggestion of facing society again.

But Kagome actions immediately washed that petulant kid away. Her eyes stared into his, deep, long, and steady, a serious look, both searching and resigned at the same time. When she blinked and broke eye contact, he felt a lost sort of emptiness. She heaved a long, deep breath before sinking down into her down, tucking the sleeping bag securely under her chin. The innocent, comforting gesture eased his ruffled feathers slightly.

“It just seems so lonely to be out here on your own.”

“I don’t need anybody,” he said quickly. He knew it was a lie before the words even left his mouth. But Kagome accepted the lie, and gave a different rebuttal altogether.

“It’s not just about who  _ you  _ need,” she said quietly, softly enough to force him to strain in order to hear her. Her eyes were still aimed at his face but seemed to see through him. There was something tired and longing in her expression, and her gaze flickered as her silent thoughts tumbled through her mind. He wondered just what was giving rise to that expression. And then she blinked at stared directly at him.

“You’re smart,” she said, her eyes fierce and her voice low, “You’re educated. You’re skilled, and you’re privileged. You have a responsibility to get back out there and do some good.”

He gaped at her, struggling to find words to excuse his lack of motivation. But then her look softened and her eyes glazed before refocusing on him with a smile.

“At least that’s what I tell myself when I’m having trouble getting out of bed and going to work.” She sighed and turned away, staring up at the tent ceiling. 

“Maybe it’s not my place to push this decision on you,” she said, “But I know this: you can stay out here, like the moose and the bears and the caribou. You can live and die out here. And you might be fine. And it can be a full life. But that’s all your life will amount to, that’s all you’ll ever be. You have the capability to be so much more.” 

Her eyes searched his face, trying to read the frown creating furrows in between his brows. She could sense him internalizing her words, chewing them, pondering them. That’s enough, she decided. Extracting a hand from her sleeping bag, she reached out to him in a peace offering, a smile shining bright and true on her face when he clasped her hand in his wide palm. He squeezed it tight, a thumb gently stroking in small slow circles.

The next time they made eye contact, the mood shifted again. Her eyes held onto his with a grip that was almost tangible and his breath caught in the back of his throat. Inching forward, Kagome carefully brought her body flush with his. He felt her breath hot against his chest. A slender arm moved tentatively around his waist. His heart pounded in his chest and he was frozen for a moment before his arm came up to pull her closer. He felt her nuzzle her nose against him as she sighed.

“Good night,” she whispered, her voice soft and shy.

Inuyasha gulped, certain there would be no sleep for him tonight.

“G’night,” he replied.

* * *

A/N: Happy holidays everybody!


	15. Paths that lead home

A/N: hokay… so first of all, super duper sorry for how damn long this chapter took. Between holidays and work, it’s been absolutely nuts. Secondly, i just started watching the Witcher on netflix and i swear, geralt somehow looks exactly like how I’d imagine an older live action Inuyasha to look like (minus the fact that geralt’s not Asian). Anyone else see it? No? Just me? I desperately need to see fanart/photoshop of doggy ears on geralt’s head. (The live action show, not the games)

Anywho, on with the call…

* * *

#  **The Call**

~ Kitty

**Chapter 14: Paths that lead home**

… 

_ “Wander a whole summer if you can...time will not be taken from the sum of your life. Instead of shortening, it will definitely lengthen it and make you truly immortal.”  _

_ ― John Muir _

* * *

Kagome was wide awake and clear headed when she opened her eyes the next morning. The noises of the forest and river filtered into her mind absently, natural sounds that had gradually become part of her normal experience and her brain easily filtered through them. She couldn’t identify what exactly had woken her and she lay quietly, stretching her senses as though casting a net. No strange sounds from outside, no overly bright sun rays penetrating the tent fabric. There was no stimulus she could detect that could explain her sudden snap to wakefulness. 

And then a body shifted beside her and Kagome practically leapt out of her sleeping bag. An entire army of tingles ran up her arm like an electric shock and she suddenly realized what her subconscious had been trying to tell her. Her numb hand and fingers practically sizzled as she tried to move them. Spending the night pressed close together inside constricting sleeping bags and against firm ground had its downsides and Kagome was deeply regretting it as she struggled to extract the tingling arm. 

Essential body part rescued, Kagome breathed a sigh and slowly her mind drifted as she waited for her nerves to finish reviving in the numb appendage. The man beside her shifted again, a sigh of a groan slipping from him, and she carefully rolled over to examine her tentmate. 

What a ride it has been, she thought to herself as she took in the lines and contours of his face. His brows were thick and rested heavily above his eyes. His face was lax, the harsh, angular lines smoothed down by sleep and the hazy sunlight. His face was angled towards her, his arm pressing against a lean cheek and parting his lips. Kagome gazed at him for a moment, finding something both endearing and appealing about this hardened mountain man laying beside her, vulnerable and unguarded. She found herself inching forward, a slow, slender hand reaching over to carefully trace the line of his cheekbone before descending down to the corner of his mouth. The brush of his stubble scratched against the flesh of her fingertips. Kagome felt her lips twist as she tried to stifle a giggle, enjoying the ticklish sensation. Then her wandering fingers crept to the edge of his lips, her expression turning distant and reflective. What an allusive smile, those lips carried. In the relaxed state of sleep, they curved in smooth graceful lines like an archer’s bow, full and soft despite the tangled forest of facial hair growing protectively around it. She remembered these lips when she first met him two weeks ago. They had been tight, thinly pressed together over a tense jaw. The eyes they sat under were hard and mean, but her memory colored them in softer shades now that she knew the sadness and pain that lay behind them. 

Memory and perception was a funny thing. Prior to setting off on their adventure, Inuyasha had loomed in her mind like a cranky, sharptoothed demon. The form he took inside her head was hunched and boorish, somehow repulsive despite his naturally handsome face, his behavior and her resulting impression of his had imprinted the image of a sort of touchy human monster. 

Kagome reflected on the moment this mental image was wiped clean away and couldn’t stifle a huff of laughter. She’d never felt the blood drain from her face so fast that night when she charged into his hotel room unannounced. The surprising sight of his chiseled naked body, lean and muscular, quite frankly demolished all her prior developing first impressions and helped her start off on a clean foot with him, and despite the embarrassing encounter, she was glad for it. His transformation in her eyes happened quickly after that. Solidity was perhaps the first real trait she noticed of him. He was like a tree, deeply rooted and uniquely strong and stable with rugged demands of his habitat. He stood tall in her eyes, then, and wide, with calloused hands and a firm grip. 

And then he morphed yet again before her eyes, from unapproachable, distant forest creature to something much, much closer to her heart. He let his vulnerability show through slowly, in bits and pieces, and even now, she knew she didn’t have a complete picture. But the part of the whole that was painted had endeared him in her heart and that was perhaps the selfish, yearning reason she’d suggested for him to return to life the lower forty eight. She wanted his presence in her life to stretch out further than a single, fleeting, two week vacation.

Her hand was still on his cheek when he shifted, and sighed, and slowly blinked open those piercing hazel eyes. His gaze could slice into her and it was a visceral reaction she felt as her insides grew heated by the warmth behind his stare. He seemed to gradually become aware of her hand on his face, she left it there, her eyes searching his as she waited for his reaction. And then he raised a hand out of the sleeping bag to cover hers completely and the touch of his warm, wide hand sent shivers coursing through her. And then his lips spread into a soft, subtle smile while his eyes continued to bear down on her.

“Morning,” he said, sleep still strongly present in his voice, making it deep and husky. 

The light seemed gold and hazy around his face and Kagome had to blink more than once to bring him back into focus. She swore she could sense a part of her melting at the sight of his handsome face with eyes that gazed so softly into hers. For a breath, maybe two, it was all she could do to stare back at him, wondering what it might be like to wake like this every morning. It was only the growing, clanking noise around camp that finally made her blink and shift her attention elsewhere. Coughing slightly, she took a breath to return the morning greeting.

“G-Good morning! Ready for one last day of paddling?”

… 

“So, where’s your little cabin anyway?”

Kagome paused to stretch out her neck, the growing soreness seeding a looming headache in the back of her head. Behind her, Inuyasha snorted.

“Closest point on a map is Wiseman,” he said.

“Where’s that?  _ What’s _ that?”

“Little mining town. It’s further out than Bettles. You want GPS coordinates or something?”

Kagome giggled. Today was much of the same as yesterday. The air was warm and the sky was blue. The breeze caused the dark spruce lining the water to wave at them slowly like they were some slow, serious procession marching down the river. Kagome didn’t think it was possible but the current seemed to flow even slower as the river continued to widen. Long, arching oxbows were tedious and disheartening, particularly with the knowledge that a straight line would have them arriving at their destination in less than half the time.

“Why is this river so windy?” Kagome exclaimed in exasperation.

There was a huff of laughter from behind before his voice answered her question.

“Physics,” Inuyasha said simply. Kagome frowned and turned her head to eye him irritatedly.

“Yeah, and?” She demanded.

“You ever watch a trickle of water going down a smooth surface?”

Now Kagome snorted, turning fully in her seat to give Inuyasha an incredulous stare.

“No,” she said, “I don’t watch water trickling down smooth surfaces. Is this a hobby of yours.”

Inuyasha snorted, but continued, ignoring her mocking tone. “Here,” he said, raising his paddle into her field of view. The water ran down the plastic in little rivers, straight down at first, when the flow was high, but then, as Kagome’s eyes widened, the trickle began to wind, curling into miniature oxbows much like the current they floated on.

“Dunno why it starts off windy,” Inuyasha said, “But as rivers age, they get straighter. More water starts flowing through because there’s a path being carved out for them and with the bigger current, the path gets straightened out. But when there isn’t a deep path, the river starts out curly.”

“Huh,” Kagome said, genuine interest brightening her voice, “Well ain’t that somethin’.”

Grunt.

She blew a raspberry. “Back to caveman talk now are we?”

Grunt.

“Ok, so, how does a river straighten out? Shouldn’t it just keep settling into the original path?”

Inuyasha groaned and dropped his forehead to her back.

“You’re a real chatterbox aren’t you? River’s aren’t stagnant, they change every season. And there’s this thing called momentum, ever hear of it?”

Kagome rolled her eyes at the raft bow. “Oh yeah,” she said sarcastically, “I know  _ all _ about momentum. How’s it factor in here?”

Kagome had to stifle her surprise when Inuyasha’s face came to rest on her shoulder. The rest of his chest pressed warm and close against her back. She felt his breath on her cheek when he spoke next.

“What’s the definition momentum?”

“Is this is test?”

“You know how objects in motion stay in motion, right?” Inuyasha answered for himself.

“Eh…,” Kagome said, “That’s technically inertia, not momentum. But I get where you’re going.”

She felt his snort as a wisp of warm air over her ear and it started a shiver up her spine. 

“Whatever,” he said. A lean, muscled arm reached up to point at the outer curve of the river where the soil was being eroded away, causing a few unfortunate trees to cling for their lives as the river slowly laid claim to the land. The earth was crumbled under itself, losing chunks of dirt and rock to the river waters.

“The water in the river carries momentum,” he said, “As it rounds the curve, it tries to go straight even though the land is forcing it to turn. It gradually scrapes away at it. Eventually, the oxbow will curve so much that it will pinch off, letting the river flow straighter while creating an oxbow lake.”

Kagome blinked, glancing at both sides of the river, one side a vertical cliff of soil while the other was a wide, shallow gravel bed. She tilted her head thoughtfully, genuinely intrigued by this practical application of high school physics.

“That’s actually pretty cool,” she said, turning to smile at him. Their noses nearly bumped each other before Inuyasha sat up straighter, gracing her with a smile in return. 

“Just don’t start asking why the sky is blue or how Miroku ever managed to get engaged, cause I have no fucking clue.”

Kagome laughed, resuming her paddling as she called over her shoulder. “That’s a good one,” she said, “I have no fucking clue myself!”

There was a few minutes of blessed peace as they rounded yet another curve in the river, before Kagome piped up again.

“So how do you get supplies? Do they get shipped in?”

She heard Inuyasha sigh and giggled to herself.

“My shit gets shipped to Bettles, and usually I have it flown to Wiseman from there. My brother pays well enough for them to be extra enthusiastic about getting my stuff in.”

Kagome hummed to indicate she’d heard, then paused briefly. Inuyasha stared at the back of her head expectantly, wondering what she would ask about this time.

“So, how does it work out here?” She asked, “Do you pay mortgage or something out here? Are you renting land or do you own it?”

“You thinking of moving out here?”

Kagome shrugged. “Oh sure,” she said carelessly, “I’m gonna drop my two weeks notice as soon as I get reception.”

Inuyasha was not prepared for the flutter of emotion that raced through his chest as she answered him. Clearly, it was an off handed comment, a joke really. But the thought of her company during the long, dark winter days in his cabin flashed through his mind as a fleeting fantasy. And as soon as it dissipated, an aching void took up residence in his chest that left him breathless.

“It… It depends on where you want to set up,” Inuyasha said, hoping his initial stutter wasn’t noticeable, “There’s a buncha different ways to buy land. Was much easier before, you stick a few sticks in the ground and that was it. Now there’s more hoops to jump through.”

“‘Buy land,’” Kagome repeated, “So you own your little patch of paradise?”

Inuyasha made a face and sighed. “Eh… Technically, my brother does.”

Kagome turned to him with a skeptical look, an eyebrow arched. “Gonna be honest, I’m having trouble pinning down whether you’re on good or bad terms with your family.”

Inuyasha heaved a sigh and rolled his eyes. “I was working for him during college,” he explained, “Started out as a snot nosed kid hacker that kept wreaking havoc on his security systems. Then he started paying me to do it. Was still doing the odd job for him every here or there before I went off grid. He apparently spent a fortune tracking me down and set me up with a place to stay as long as I agreed to step in if he ever needed me.”

Inuyasha blinked, a part of his mind disconnecting even as he continued speaking. He couldn’t remember there ever being a time when he spoke so candidly and openly about his brother. He certainly never spoke so many words strung together in years before encountering this bright young woman with such curious eyes. 

“So you still work for him?” Kagome’s expression told him she had her doubts. “Do you even get internet or cell connection out here?”

Inuyasha snorted. “Money can buy just about anything.”

“Huh,” Kagome said, blowing the sound out her nose, “I guess it can.”

They were entering a straightaway after escaping yet another oxbow and the breeze picked up slightly, pushing them downstream. Kagome raised her paddle high overhead, stretching out her shoulders and sides, creating a chorus of cracks and pops from her back. Inuyasha winced in sympathy.

“So… Is there anything you miss from city life?”

Inuyasha shrugged. “Maybe one or two things.”

“Like what?”

She heard inuyasha sigh behind her and the sounds of paddling cease. 

“Running water -  _ hot _ running water. Food options besides game meat and ramen. Good company…”

“So you’re not as anti social as you let on,” Kagome said, letting her inflection wobble and bend in a teasing tone. 

Grunt. 

“What do you miss the most?”

Kagome leaned back into his chest, sighing her relief as her back finally had a chance to relax. She tried to glance up at his face but the backlighting from the sun made him a tall, looming shadow to her eyes. His voice was thoughtful, however, when he answered her.

“Life is slow here,” he said finally, “And repetitive. And maybe too simple. I’m only stockpiling food and supplies, and then consuming them.”

“I thought your brother sends you work?”

“Only the stuff his guys get stumped on,” Inuyasha said, “But my brother’s an ass to work for, you can never get shit done fast enough. And since I’m on his land, he holds that over me like a fucking guillotine.”

Kagome huffed a laugh, startling him when she brought an arm up to prop against his leg, resting a slender palm atop his knee. As though her hand were a brand, he felt a heat searing into his skin from the naked touch. Suddenly, it became very difficult to follow her conversation.

“Hmm,” she was saying, “He sounds lovely.”

“If you say so.”

The woman reclined in his lap laughed again, absently swirling a finger around his kneecap. Whether the motion was intentional or unconscious, the contact began waking up a sleeping part of him he’d buried a long time ago and he stiffened as he felt it rise. 

“Let’s… Let’s pull over,” he said suddenly, sitting up and using both his hands to push her back onto her seat in the raft, “I gotta piss.”

…

“Never have I ever… pulled an all nighter.”

Three voices rose up in various disgruntled noises of mock indignation. Pulled over on their final gravel bar campground for the night, the four travelers lounged around a crackling bonfire, quickly racing through the last of their firewater before tomorrow’s arrival in the dry native village. Miroku glared glassy eyes at Inuyasha as he swiped his mouth on his sleeve.

“How’d you even manage it?” He complained, “Especially in Kaede’s classes. Her assignments were the worst!”

Inuyasha shrugged, reaching behind himself to readjust the braid hanging down his back. Kagome laughed.

“I bet you were a terrible procrastinator,” she said, “And were always pulling all nighters.”

Miroku rolled his eyes and shrugged. “Only when I wasn’t on a group project with Mr. Time Management,” he said, nodding sarcastically at his ex-roommate.

“I need to be topped off,” Sango chirped up, raising her glass to Kagome. 

As she poured more whiskey, Kagome glanced at Inuyasha.

“How’re you not empty?”

“Cause I don’t do stupid shit,” Inuyasha said, narrowing his eyes at her while his lips belied his amusement with the way they curved upwards. Kagome wrinkled her nose to send him back a pinched, pouty look which he opening chuckled at.

“That’s no fair,” Miroku complained, “I got one! Never have I ever been hit on someone of the same gender!”

“Fucking asshole!” Inuyasha snapped, his eyes turning to glare daggers at the mischievous dark-haired man. 

Kagome perked up as Inuyasha took his obligatory swig.

“So,” she said, scooting forward, “What’s the story anyway?”

“There’s no fucking story,” Inuyasha grumped, grimacing as the large gulp burned its way down, “Jakotsu was an ass and wouldn’t take fucking ‘no’ for an answer.”

“He was also a sadist,” Sango said, leaning in to whisper conspiratorially into Kagome’s ear, but loud enough for them all to hear, “He’d smack Inuyasha’s ass all the time. He didn’t do anything particularly awful, but he’d say things like he wanted to cut off Inuyasha’s lips to make them his own.”

Kagome, who was taking a sip from her mug, coughed and sputtered enough whiskey to clear her nose for the entire next flu season. Her expression was both incredulous and horrified and while Miroku practically fell over himself with laughter, Inuyasha could only snort and shake his head.

“He, um,” Kagome said, her voice raspy from her coughing, “He sounds like he needed some help.”

Sango made a noncommittal gesture. “I think he found his kind eventually,” she said, “And he sent Inuyasha scurrying back to Miroku in the end, right?”

“I did  _ not _ scurry!”

“Po-tay-to, po-tah-to,” Miroku said dismissively, “You’re up Kagome.”

“Hmmm,” Kagome said dramatically, “Never have I ever…”

She trailed off, her eyes scanning the sky as if for inspiration before landing on Inuyasha. The sly smirk she gave him made him gulp.

“Never have I ever seen a grizzly bear in person,” she said, triumphantly raising a glass towards the mountain hermit. He glowered at her as menacingly as he could manage as he took his swig.

The tables turned dramatically after that. Never have I ever worked with sled dogs, never have I ever seen the northern lights, never have I ever hunted, killed, and butchered an animal. Very quickly, Inuyasha found himself leaning heavily on his knees, staring at the cup of water being pressed into hands that had forgotten how to grasp. Her voice was gentle when she called to him.

“You doing alright there, mountain man?”

Even his grunt was slurred. She laughed above him and he liked the sound. The world spun and he leaned into the one stable, welcoming thing his mind was able to recognize, sighing in relief when his forehead came to rest against Kagome’s stomach. Her hands came up immediately to cradle his face and her fingers were cool and felt good against his feverish skin.

“How’s the cranky one doing?” That was Sango’s voice. Kagome answered softly, a smile in her voice that made it sound warm.

“He’s ok, I think,” she said, “I’ll stay up a bit to make sure he drinks some more water. Good luck wrangling Miroku tonight.”

Sango laughed glancing at her fiancé as he teetered and tottered through the motions of cleaning up camp and readying for bed. 

“Sango, my love!” He shouted suddenly, “Come join me in the fortress!”

Sango rolled her eyes while Kagome giggled. 

“He’s just gonna conk out as soon as his head hits the pillow,” she said wryly, “It’s tomorrow night I’m worried about.”

Kagome continued chuckling as Sango obligingly joined Miroku in their fortress of fabric. Then she looked down at her own inebriated tentmate as he struggled to lift his head and bring the water to his lips. She watched him patiently as he sipped, her lips parting into a grin when he finished downing the cup and resumed his muttered curses of the man who’d gotten him into this state.

“Miroku’s a fucking ass,” he said under his breath. Water bottle in hand, Kagome quickly refilled the empty cup before moving behind him.

“Here,” she said as gently as she could, “Let’s untangle this mess.”

She carefully picked up the long, heavy braid, releasing the end and gently pried the plaits apart. Inuyasha stared at the now filled cup as if trying to figure out how it got there in the first place.

“I’m gonna be pissing all night,” he complained. Kagome laughed.

“As long as you make it outside the tent before you do,” she said.

He grumbled a bit more before sighing, lifting his face to the sky. There was a quiet peace for a while as she slowly worked her way from the tangles at the ends of his locks to his scalp. She carefully ran her fingers through the roots of his hair, easing the last few snags.

“Thanks,” she heard him say quietly, “You don’t have to be too thorough. My head’s probably disgusting right now.”

Kagome shrugged. “No more than mine,” she replied.

Grunt.

The work of rebraiding his hair was quick and she smacked her hands together gently when she finished, surveying her handiwork. Inuyasha caught her hand as she moved away, and she turned to him in mild surprise. The look on his face startled her, his brows low, his eyes narrow. He looked like he was in pain and she stood frozen and mute, waiting to hear him explain his actions. For a while he just stared at their joined hands, how her fingers were dwarfed by his. His palms were thickly calloused and rough, but they were sensitive, and appreciated the feel of her soft, smooth palm. And her warmth. There’s a particular kind of warmth conveyed in the touch of skin to skin. More than a transference of temperature. Through touch it seemed, she shared with him an energy. Something flowed between them, slow and subtle, but no less powerful than the river they traveled on, carving out the lands with the same force that could grind away metal and stone. And it flowed straight to his heart and he was surprised by how parched and thirsty his inner beating core had become, feeling it spring forward to take in this flow like a drowning man gulps for air. This desperate, hollow yearning, Inuyasha couldn’t comprehend it. He bit his lip as he allowed himself a second or two more of the balm of her contact before dropping her hand.

Kagome frowned in concern, watching the play of expressions dance across his face. When he made no motion to speak, she slowly came around in front of him and crouched down to peer at his face.

“What’s wrong, Inuyasha?”

His eyes glanced up and stared into hers. His stare, sharp and direct, made her catch her breath and she found herself drawing closer unconsciously, a slender hand resting a fraction of her weight on his knee.

His eyes narrowed for a breath as though stifling a wave of pain. Then his lips parted and he inhaled a long draft of air.

“It’s easy to stay,” he told her quietly, “It’s easy to run away. And it was fine, being out here. It used to be enough.”

Decoding his emotional turmoil certainly was a mental exercise and Kagome frowned deeper as she tried to comprehend his disjointed, statements.

“But then you came,” he continued, “And… I don’t think it’s gonna be enough anymore.”

Only vaguely catching on, Kagome spoke, “What changed?”

His eyes broke contact with hers, hovering now somewhere lower on her face. His eyes saw through her as he answered.

“You, Miroku, Sango. This whole trip. The forest will be so empty when you go back.”

Her fingertips found his chin to bring his eyes back to hers. Her look was sympathetic, warm, with a soft smile of understanding. She gently tucked a stray lock of hair behind his ears, his nerves burning like little signal fires in the wake of her touch. 

“You’re human,” she told him softly, “Humans need other humans.”

And then she forced her face to brighten, taking a deep breath before huffing a short, quick sigh. She stood slowly, pulling him up with her. He wobbled slightly but stood, raising the cup to his lips again with her encouragement.

“Let’s get you to bed,” she said, carefully leading him toward the tent. 

True to his earlier prediction, Inuyasha was in and out several times that night to relieve himself. Kagome lay still on her side, facing away, idly contemplating her last night in the wilderness. She was eagerly looking forward to a hot shower. Her skin was prickling with the feel of dirt and oil. She imagined the feel of clean, soft clothes, and vehicles that did not require human muscle to drive them. Her hair had been braided, tied, and pigtailed throughout the past two weeks and she knew her scalp was going to relish the feel of clean, unbound hair. Her physical body was looking forward to her return to civilization. Her heart was torn.

It was easy, as Inuyasha said, to exist for a moment in the great wilderness. The requirements of work and the burdens of modern day life could be forgotten out here. But she knew she couldn’t stay. It would be empty, just as Inuyasha realized just now. The rest of her life was waiting for her return.

Then she thought of Inuyasha, the hermit that did run away. The hermit that did turn his back on the rest of the world. It was a waste, her words from the day before still rung true. But even more than that, it wasn’t a cure for the pain he’d been running to escape. 

She smiled to herself when Inuyasha rose, again cursing the snoring man in the tent next door, and bumbled his way out of the tent to relieve himself. He must have thought she was sleeping when he returned. After a bit of shuffling and scooting to get himself back inside the sleeping bag, there was a short silence before Kagome felt a touch at her back.

Careful hands picked up a lock of her hair. She felt the strokes of his fingers as they held the dark brown strands. And then softly, a voice that echoed through her and made her heart ache.

“I don’t want you to go. I don’t want to be alone.”

… 

There was still a fair bit of river left before they arrived at the village, but fear of missing their scheduled flight fueled that sore and tired muscles onward and soon, their rafts touched on soft, sandy shores. Signs of human life had materialized slowly out of the forest. First it was a cabin densely surrounded by forest. Then another cabin, this one on cleared land surrounded by sheds and tools. Then another. And then an entire village was visible at the edge of the river.

Kagome wasn’t sure what she’d been expecting from a remote Alaskan native village. The only buildings she could see were weather beaten wooden houses and sheds, small and compact, and clearly hand made and maintained. The sun was painfully bright, a dramatic contrast to the gray rain clouds from just a couple of days ago. Color in the village came from the collection of odds and ends littering the beach and yards. Useful items, brightly colored four wheelers, boats, and netting. Plastic bins and children’s toys and candy wrappers. Foliage grew lush and thick anywhere it could, dotted with purple fireweed. And stretching inland from the sandy beach, a single dirt road that would lead them to the landing strip.

There were no people on first glance, and at first, Kagome felt slightly unnerved by the apparently abandoned buildings. Sango and Miroku also noted the lack of inhabitants and glanced at each other nervously while Inuyasha carried on as usual, beaching the rafts and removing gear. The sand shifted as he stepped ashore as if to swallow his feet and it was hard work.

“So this is Allakaket?” Miroku asked dubiously, glancing around trying to find signs of life.

Inuyasha grunted. “What else would it be?” He grumbled back, “Get to work!”

“Do we need to tell anyone that we’re here?” Kagome asked, still seeking out the village inhabitants and coming up empty. Inuyasha sent her a look, eyebrow cocked.

“What?” He asked, “Like ‘we come in peace’ or something?”

Kagome shrugged and decided to take his lead, assisting with the gear and deflating the rafts. The ground here was far more used and trodden then their previous campsites and dirt began clinging to every surface. Sango wrinkled her nose as she gingerly tried to brush the dirt and muck off the rafts.

“Of course,” she said, flopping her arms as she gave up, “They were pristine the entire trip and now that look like we rolled them in mud.”

“We  _ did _ roll them in mud!” Kagome said, laughing. It wasn’t the first time they’d had to load up all the gear on their backs, and the distance they needed to trek was short and flat, but somehow the knowledge that their journey had come to its unceremonious end  _ and _ required the last half mile to be on foot made their packs and the boats seem that much heavier. At long last, a disheveled man emerged from one of the buildings and sauntered toward the beach. Kagome glanced up, thinking to holler a greeting, but the man ignored them, at most just acknowledging their presence with a quick nod, before turning his attention to a boat engine resting on a bench.

“Let’s go,” Inuyasha said, hefting one of the rafts in hand, his overloaded pack already resting on his shoulders. 

Kagome’s head and eyes were in constant motion as she absorbed the details of the village as they passed through. Inuyasha was reminded of her unabashed wonder and chuckled to himself. There wasn’t a lot of activity, most homes seemed empty save for the occasional dog tied out front. The cabins all seemed built on elevated stumped, perhaps a means of protecting the floor from the cold in winter. And their yards were filled with old and well weather gear. Old cars, model’s she hadn’t seen in decades, rested under layers of dust. She was baffled to see such imports at all and wondered how they could have been shipped in.

“Just like how you get cars shipped in where you’re from,” Inuyasha answered nonchalantly. She glanced at the beads of sweat forming on his face.

“I can take a bit more weight,” she offered, “My pack’s not that heavy.”

Inuyasha grunted but kept right of trudging along. 

“That’s a no then, I guess,” Kagome shrugged, jogging slightly to catch up with his long strides. Inuyasha glanced down at her, a smile quirking his lips to see her bright eyed and infinitely curious about her surroundings. It was surreal, to be suddenly engulfed by the products of man once more after so many days in the backcountry. There was a lot to take in. The village was a mix of modern equipment and rugged practicality. Building materials were clearly sourced from the nearby forest, but log cabins boasted wide satellite antennas. Telephone poles ran along the road and the occasional four wheeler passed them, single drivers or overloaded with passengers young and old staring at the rare sight of through hikers emerging from the woods. The only buildings that appeared to be constructed from imported materials was the medical center and the airport. 

“Airport” was probably not the best term to describe the small, building, perhaps only big enough to fit a single bushplane. There was no terminal, no ticketing desk, no security, and no gate. Inuyasha walked straight up to the building and shrugged off his pack, everything falling to the ground with a clatter and a thud. Miroku looked around while Sango and Kagome gratefully relieved themselves of their loads. 

“Where do we check in?” He asked.

“We don’t,” Inuyasha answered. His braid fell over to dangle in front of him as he stopped down to set up his life jacket on the ground before plopping down on top of it. 

“What time is it?” Kagome asked, glancing around, “How do we know when the plane will get here?”

Inuyasha pulled out a water bottle, the trek inland from the river having been hot, sunny, and sweaty. 

“We don’t,” he repeated.

Kagome puckered her lips, giving him her best peeved pout. She swiped the bottle from his hands for a gulp before handing it back.

“Why of course, Kagome,” she said, smacking her forehead, “Village time, remember?”

Grunt.

“So your caveman tendencies are a function of how close you are to civilization?” She teased him.

Grunt.

Time passed slowly for them. Sango and Miroku both decided to travel more comfortably, changing out of their neoprene shorts into proper underwear and pants. Slowly, as a growing trickle of traffic, the village residents began to emerge on the landing strip. Some came on foot, others by ATV. Young, old, and those in between. An elderly woman, her skin golden and leathery, creased with hundreds of wrinkles, drove right up to them, her dark eyes bright with curiosity. Her smile was gap toothed and unsettling but her movements were friendly.

“See any bears?” She asked, her voice gravelly and heavy with accent and lisp.

“Not this time,” Inuyasha said, producing his beat up hat from seemingly nowhere and pulling it down over his eyes. Miroku piped up, asking if bears were a common sight and they chatted for a while as the minutes ticked slowly by. Eventually, a low buzz in the air alerted all the waiting residents of the approaching plane and in short succession, the pilot touched down and was swarmed by eager villagers crowding in to retrieve their various supplies. 

“That’s our cue,” Inuyasha said, heaving himself up and collecting their gear. Kagome bobbed along behind him, completely taken in by the relaxed aviation proceedings. Even less formal and with less steps to complete than their flight out of Bettles, the four of them were on the plane before she knew it, crammed together in the tiny familiar space. Ducking into the cabin was a mixture of deja vu and unfamiliar. It was as if their bodies had recalibrated to life in the woods and being encased by metal on all sides was a jarring reintroduction to modern living. And yet, the rigid frames of the seats with their packed down cushions were comforting, welcoming them back from their travels and the final sign that their labors on foot and on water were done. Their attitudes were miles different from the last time they were passengers on a small bush plane. Sango and Miroku had their phones out, already flipping through pictures of their adventure. Meanwhile, in the back, Kagome felt the realization of their journey’s end as a rush of fatigue. She was no longer the tense ball of nerves, giddy with excitement at the start of their trek. Comfortably wedged thigh to thigh, she and Inuyasha leaned against each other, each silent with their own thoughts while the few travelers joining their flight thumped their way aboard. Kagome hardly noticed that she was drifting off, or that a warm, strong arm came up and around her shoulders. She was asleep before the plane began to accelerate down the runway, but her dreams stayed behind, still thinking of the jagged, reckless mountains and deep, dark forests. It was hard to accept that this was the end.

* * *

A/N: Couldn’t find a quote I like from John Muir so I pulled a line from the last goodbye. This chapter might be a bit rough… sorry…. work has been a little ridiculously crazy, even during the holidays, so I’m a little beat and hoping things slow down just a little. Posting this with minimal proofreading so definitely let me know if I made any major mistakes :P 

  
  
  
  



	16. Near the heart

# The Call

~ Kitty

**Chapter 15: Near the heart**

… 

_“When one tugs at a single thing in nature, he finds it attached to the rest of the world.”_

_― John Muir_

* * *

Landing in a bush plane was always rough and bumpy. Kagome woke with a start when the rubber tires reunited with the earth, their flying metal crate swerving hard before coming to a stop. Even more startling for Kagome than the choppy landing, she felt the arm around her shoulders squeeze in comfortingly, the press of a cheek against her forehead, and a low, amused voice whispered gently above her. 

“You're OK,” he said, “I’ve got you.”

She blinked rapidly as she regained her bearings, an unconscious hand coming up to grip his shirt. Slowly, she sat up, the veil of sleep lifting off further and a jaw cracking yawn erupted over her face. 

Inuyasha chuckled quietly to himself as he watched her come fully awake. In front of them, Miroku was already on his phone, contacting the hotel to send a shuttle. Sango turned around, her eyes sparkling as she smiled.

“Rise and shine!” She said, “We’re back!”

There was a cofuffle at the back of the plane as helping hands unlatched doors and started tugging out the freight sent to Fairbanks. Loud clanging as metal doors were swung open and the sunlight was harsh as it bounced inside, reflected off the pale pavement they’d landed on. Beside her, she felt Inuyasha sigh, his face, when she glanced up, was solemn, somehow sad. Raising a rigid finger, she gave him a light jab into the meat of his shoulder, causing him to look down at her in surprise. Kagome felt a relief when the corners of his eyes crinkled.

“Cheeky wench,” he whispered to her.

As they disembarked from the plane, the sights and noises from the airfield swept up around them, feeling unreal and barren. The trees were distant on the horizon and the land was flat and dry, hazy with gas and dust and wobbled in the light as the sun baked the pavement. Such a departure from the deep hues of the forest lined river. Sticky and grimy from their two week long trek, the four returning travelers wearily hoisted packs and rolled up rafts, lugging them through the terminal building and back out the other side. It was several minutes before the shuttle would arrive and they slumped against their bags, a heady relief washing over the three city-slickers now that the journey had ended. Kagome tilted her face toward the sun a smile on her lips. She inhaled deeply and scrunched her nose, smelling gasoline and dust. Deep down inside, a part of her grieved, missing the scent of spruce and pine, snowmelt water and lush green grass, moist and gritty earth, and the lingering scent of all the living, breathing creatures that shared the forest wilderness. The absence of life was what struck her most profoundly now that they’d returned.

Miroku and Sango, far more familiar with coming and going from backcountry excursions, adjusted quickly, flipping on phones and checking messages. Kagome opened her eyes when she heard Sango groaned, seeing her friend rubbing her temples as she scanned the little screen.

“So many emails…,” Sango complained. Kagome winced, then smiled to herself, deciding she would much rather keep her electronics off for just a little while longer. 

Eventually, a familiar white shuttle bus turned into the parking lot and Inuyasha and Miroku helped load the dusty, dirt caked gear into the back. The driver wrinkled her nose as she slammed the doors shut and Kagome realized they’d been marinating in river water for nearly a full week. She had to smile to herself as she wondered just how badly they smelled to the rest of civilized company. 

When they arrived at the hotel lobby, Sango turned to Kagome while Miroku checked them all in. 

“Play you for who gets to shower first before hitting the hot tub!” She said, holding up her hands in a gesture that could only mean ‘rock, paper, scissors’.

_‘You can use mine.’_

Inuyasha felt the thought pressing impulsively against his lips before it was even fully formed and he bit back the urge just as Miroku turned around and spoke his suggestion aloud. 

“Why doesn’t Kagome use Inuyasha’s bathroom? That way you both get to shower immediately.”

There was a brief pause while Inuyasha and Kagome both blinked rapidly at Miroku. 

“Eh?!” Inuyasha exclaimed, whatever thoughts he had creating a splash of red across his cheeks. 

Kagome found herself opening and closing her mouth like a gasping fish, both gleefully eager to accept the proposal yet striving desperately to maintain some consideration for the mountain hermit that had just delivered them back to civilization.

“I-it’s ok,” Kagome stammered, “You’ve already been sharing the tent with me. You probably want some time by yourself now…”

“You can use it,” Inuyasha grumbled softly, “I… I have some gear to fix anyway.”

Sango meanwhile sent Miroku a pointed stare, an eyebrow raised while he tried his best to maintain a wholly innocent demeanor. In his mind, this was clearly the win-win option, privacy for him and Sango, privacy for Inuyasha and Kagome. They would thank him later, he was sure. Eventually, the hotel receptionist pulled out the luggage they’d checked in a couple weeks ago and the four of them hauled themselves to their rooms. Grabbing just her necessities, Kagome nervously followed behind Inuyasha, watching the mussed, dirty braid swing back and forth as he stomped to his room. 

“Thanks so much for letting me use your shower, Inuyasha,” Kagome said, feeling shy suddenly, “I really appreciate it.”

Grunt. 

“You can shower first if you want?”

Grunt. 

Kagome heaved an exasperated sigh, puckering her lower lip into a pout. “Last chance to take back the offer,” she said.

Inuyasha paused, turning to her as he reached his room and opened the door for her. 

“It’s fine,” he said, “It’s faster this way.”

The door clicked as it read his room key card and with an abrupt grunt and a jerk, the door swung open. 

The atmosphere around them was night and day different from when they started. What was once testy and awkward, there was now familiarity. There was a solemnity, a recognition that their time together will be short lived and transient, but also something electric as they both internally debated how wise it might be to act on the chemistry their senses told them existed. In that awkward teeter-totter dilemma, Kagome found herself turned coward, retreating to the bathroom and struggling even to undress with the knowledge that a mere flimsy wooden door now separated them. 

Inuyasha, for his part, was once again feeling the city, small and remote though it was, press in on him and sighed as he collapsed onto the couch beside the bed. It was a simple expedition from drop off to extraction and though little had changed, he found his perspective had altered as he contemplated the journey. The solitary wilderness had always been a balm on his beleaguered heart in the wake of Kikyou’s death, but suddenly the call of the mountain no longer eased him the way it had these past seven years. He was uncomfortable in this urban environment but neither did he want to retreat back into the trees. There was a part of him that had grown, like the alpine flora that made the most of the short arctic summer, growing and flowering and suddenly, cautiously, asked for more than the boreal forest could offer. 

The sounds of activity in the bathroom, clattering and shuffling, reached him through the door. And oddly, he found himself neutral as he listened. Running water, often a trigger to reignite the trauma of his past, registered absently in his mind and instead, his consciousness found itself drifting to the girl within. And when the water was finally shut off, he could only stare wide eyed at the figure that emerged.

He had seen her in states of undress once or twice in the last two weeks, sure. But there was something vastly different between frantic changing to fend off hypothermia and sporting a bikini specifically tailored to accentuate her assets. 

Kagome bashfully kept her arms close to her body as she towel dried her hair. The ride downriver had done a number on her and her legs were littered with angry red scratches and painful purple bruises. The two week exertion of heavy exercise had further slimmed her silhouette and drew out definition in her arms and abdomen. She was too skinny, with shadows around her ribs and hip bones. But all these details washed right over him and the vision his eyes remembered was nothing short of fantasy. 

“Um, shower’s all yours,” she said, voice smiling, cheeks flushed, “I’ll… head back to Sango’s room.”

His eyes followed the movement of the towel as she wrapped it around her waist and he completely missed her teasing giggled as she moved to head out the door. It took him several long moments to regather his scattered wits and finally rise to wash the grime and dirt off before hastily rushing down to join everyone at the hotel pool. 

…

“Oh ho ho ho, yesssss!” Kagome groaned as she carefully stepped into the hot, steaming water. Two damn weeks of icy glacier fed waters had caused her to forget how positively divine water could be. She could feel every separate tissue and muscle fiber rejoice as she slowly sat herself down, the water swallowing her up to her neck and very nearly lulling her to sleep right then and there. 

Sango laughed at her, the expression of pure bliss unmistakeable on her friends face. “That good huh?” She teased, dipping her toes in to test the waters. 

She immediately sported the same expression as she, too, eased herself in.

“Ahhh, I’m in heaven!” Sango sighed. Kagome didn’t even bother to open her closed eyes, humming her agreement. The heat slowly penetrated into her sore, stiff bones and she began to carefully test her joints, rotating her ankles and arms to rediscover their range of motion. Locating a water jet, she sighed as she pressed the muscles in her back against the massaging force.

Miroku made his splashing entry shortly after. “Ah, the joys of modern life!”

“Ya’ll look like dumplings in a soup,” Inuyasha’s voice said abruptly. Kagome’s eyes snapped open and she gaped up at him stupidly as he stood by the hot tub. Without effort or strain, each muscle in his abdomen was clearly defined and shifted subtly beneath his skin as he breathed. Tone and bulk was balanced more perfectly than any human deserved and he moved toward her with the ease and grace of a mountain cat. It wasn’t until he grimaced while stepping into the hot water that Kagome was able to blink and thoughts resumed in her head once more. Under the cover of the bubbly, swirling waters, Kagome kicked at Sango to end the smirk that was painted clearly across her friend’s face.

“How the hell can you guys handle this heat?” Inuyasha complained, struggling to even descend knee deep into the pool. Kagome felt herself flushing as she desperately bounced her eyes around the pool area, anywhere else but his abs and chest. She felt faint, perhaps a bit over heated? Sitting up emerge slightly from the hot water, she sighed, shivering as the cooler air danced along her newly exposed skin.

“So, where do you wanna get dinner?” Sango asked, turning to look up at Kagome, “Barbeque? Seafood?”

“You don’t want seafood here,” Inuyasha said, drawing their attention. Kagome’s eyes went wide. He had an arm crossed over his chest in mid stretch, muscles bulging as he held the position. The heat of the tub had produced a sheen of sweat over his skin that glistened as he moved and then Kagome snapped her mouth closed and forced her eyes to the ceiling. 

“Why don’t we want seafood here?” she asked the pipes above them.

Inuyasha eyed her strangely, wondering what she was inspecting so intently in the ceiling but answered her anyway.

“The good stuff gets shipped out,” he said, “Seafood’s not usually good here.”

Miroku considered this fact and shrugged.

“Barbeque it is then,” he said, groaning as he stood. Sango sighed and rose and clearly, they were all preparing to leave. Kagome maintained eye contact with the ceiling and it wasn’t until a chuckling Sango came over to physically guide her out of the pool area that Kagome was finally able to exit. 

… 

Dinner was quick, the greasy, saucy, meaty meal disappearing quickly into stomachs that hadn’t seen non freeze dried meals in two weeks. They wandered the neighborhoods then, taking in the sights of Fairbanks for one last evening. Walking around town, beside smooth, modern buildings, wide, flat roads, and the bizarre grumbles of passing cars, was a surreal feeling when taken in contrast to the last two weeks. A week ago, Kagome existed in a constant state of wonder, her head rotating beyond its capabilities in an effort to fully experience the wild, mountain environment around her, risking her ankles and well being to the turbulent surprises of mother nature. Now as she walked over the rough, hard pavement of the sidewalk, she found a small part of her aching. Lines were too straight, whites were too clean. Scenes that had been ordinary and commonplace all her life suddenly felt wrong and alien. There was something lifeless about the world absent the decomposing leaves and rushing mineralized waters of the mountain forests. Dead things in the forest still breathed and pulsed with life. Dead things in the city were just dead. And that was something she felt unconsciously, a somatic awareness that needled her as she strolled. 

The group eventually wandered into a local tap house, sinking into a comfortable couch in the back with a pint each. A tower of wooden blocks balanced precariously on the coffee table in front of them and Miroku set down his glass with a clank, nudging Inuyasha to initiate a game of jenga. When no amount of pestering could bring the solitary man into playing, Miroku gestured toward the girls. 

“So, when are we coming back for Alaska round two?” Kagome asked, leaning forward to select a wooden block. Inuyasha couldn’t help but to perk up his ears. 

“Man, I don’t know,” Miroku admitted, turning to Sango, “This was sort of going to be our last big thing before marriage and family and all...”

Sango glanced at Inuyasha and Kagome from the corner of her eyes. “Yeah,” she said, agreeing with her fiancé, “It’ll probably be a few years for us at least. But don’t let us hold you back, Kagome.”

Kagome laughed. “Who would I go with besides you crazies? I don’t think I’d be able to find anyone else who’d want to spend their vacation out there with me.”

 _‘I would,’_ the thought passed through his mind swiftly in reaction to her question.

Miroku was developing a knack for giving voice to Inuyasha’s inner thoughts and spoke up quickly. “Inuyasha could go with you! He should go with you tomorrow too! You’re still going to check out Denali right?”

“Yep! And the sled dogs,” Kagome answered, “But, don’t you also fly out tomorrow, Inuyasha?”

“Yeah,” he said, hiding his disappointment behind a swig of his beer. Miroku, ever the creative solution finder, chirped up as he selected another wooden block from the tower.

“Just push it back,” he said, “Those bush pilots are flexible.”

“And where would I sleep tomorrow night, dumbass?” Inuyasha grumbled, although there was that small voice inside that hoped Miroku would also solve that hurdle for him as well.

“There’s two beds in our room,” Miroku answered immediately, “Use ours tomorrow.”

He didn’t want to, but then he wanted to. He didn’t feel quite ready to return to his empty cabin and empty existence just yet, and forced himself to seriously consider the suggestion.

Kagome’s eyes were bright and hopeful when she turned to him. “Better than a cramped tent right?” She asked, smiling, “And it would be good to have company…”

He gazed into her face for a second or two, knowing his answer but putting on a show of struggle before relenting in a forced grumble. “I’ll see if I can change my flight.”

“That would be awesome!” Kagome enthused, beaming, “Two hours is a long way to drive on my own!”

Miroku sat back, satisfied he’d done all he could to set the two up for tomorrow, he turned his thoughts toward tonight.

“Next round’s on me?” He said, standing with an empty beer glass. Sango, however, swiftly put an end to his plans.

“Oh no you don’t,” she said, rising also, “ _You_ need to get back to the hotel and pack. Our flight’s early tomorrow.”

“Oh yikes!” Kagome exclaimed, glancing at her watch, “It’s that late already?”

Outside the sun still shone and it really didn’t feel like the dead of night. Kagome laughed at herself as she rose. “It’s going to be so weird getting back on a normal clock.”

“Oh,” Sango said, gesturing for Kagome and Inuyasha to stay seated, “Don’t cut your night short for us. You guys should plan out tomorrow anyway.”

Miroku protested as he was dragged out.

“Oh come on, Sango!” he whispered, “Didn’t we want to get them drunk?”

“You got him drunk yesterday,” she said, “Anyways, you wanted them to get together, so let them get together.”

Miroku pouted but sighed as he allowed himself to be pushed along. “I wanted to see it happen though!”

Sango rolled her eyes. “If they hook up, did you want to be in the room with a bag of popcorn?”

“Yeck!” Miroku said, conceding, “I just wanted to help them along.”

“You just don’t want to pack,” she said, “Now come on, you wanted alone time without them anyways, right?”

Now, Miroku’s dark eyes perked up. Suddenly much more eager to return to the hotel, he snaked an arm around his fiance’s waist to propel her forward

“Why didn’t you lead with that?” he asked, “Onward! My love! To our chambers!”

Sango covered her face as several other parties along the street turned to stare. But she sighed, shaking her head and leaned in close. A bolt lock, sturdy, somewhat more soundproof, walls, and a real mattress awaited them. To their chambers they went.

… 

Back inside, the remaining pair sat awkwardly in the wake of Miroku and Sango’s departure. Inuyasha shifted in his seat before reaching into a pocket to find a cracked, abused old phone.

“Guess I’ll change my flight,” he muttered, standing to move further toward the back of the bar, where it was marginally quieter. 

She watched him go, her mind painting the image of his bare skin over his clothing. As he paced and swayed she recalled the shift and ripple of muscles illuminated by the sparkly of sunlight against the dancing waters of the river, his sturdy frame standing solid despite the rush of water, against a backdrop of grey carved stone and she secretly filed away the mental image for future enjoyment. Sighing, she sank back into the couch. There was a promise in the thought of tomorrow that was exciting and tantalizing. 

Inuyasha was tense and fidgety when he came back. The press of strangers’ bodies so close by, the sounds of laughter and conversation. His tolerance of crowds was quickly reaching its threshold and he struggled to focus on the girl beside him as she spoke. 

“I heard we can handle the puppies when we get there?”

He grunted, then glanced her way as a silence stretched out. She was staring at him critically, and he immediately felt defensive toward the critical look she gave him.

“What?” he asked testily.

“Are you alright?”

Grunt.

“You seem a little out of it.”

Grunt.

“We can go back if you’re tired?”

“I’m not tired.”

“I’m sorry if you feel pressured to keep me company,” she said suddenly, “I don’t want to make you feel like you have to if you’d rather not.”

Inuyasha was startled by the statement. “Wait, what? I don't,” he said quickly, “I mean, I don’t feel pressured.”

 _‘Then again, maybe tomorrow will be more challenging than I thought,’_ Kagome thought.

Inuyasha huffed a sigh, picking up his glass and downing its contents in a single, long swig.

“It’s just hard to breathe in here.”

Kagome’s eyebrows shot up. She turned her head around to consider the atmosphere of the room. It was comfortable, in her opinion, a constant thrum of chatter and clinking glasses. 

“... Do you want to go back?”

And now he faced his dilemma. Yes, he wanted to get out of there. There were too many people far too close. But no, going back to the hotel meant saying goodnight. Kagome watched his expressions while he grappled within himself. Eventually, she sighed.

“Let’s go outside then,” she offered, “We can walk by the river.”

It was only by returning outdoors and feeling how distant the mountains had become when Kagome was able to get a sense of what Inuyasha meant by having difficulty breathing. When they got to the river, the flash of living green growing along the river’s edge hit her like the strike of a gong echoing into an empty cavern. They wandered to a small foot bridge of the brown, murky waters and Kagome inhaled deep into her lungs before releasing a sigh, leaning heavily against the railings.

“Ok,” she said, “I get you were saying. The air’s different here.”

Grunt.

Kagome rolled her eyes. 

“Were you always the silent, moody type or did the mountains turn you into one.”

Grunt.

“Duuuuuuuude!”

Groaned and dropped her head to hang between her shoulders. Inuyasha glanced at her and huffed a short laugh.

“I never liked people,” he said finally. His eyes returned to the water, dark and swirling. 

“In general? Or just certain people?”

“At first just certain people,” he said, “Then I found out people general were shit.”

“In general doesn’t mean all,” Kagome chided him.

She heard him sigh, listened to the way air flowed cleanly into his lungs, then the long exhale out. 

“I know,” he said, voice resigned and acquiescing.

“And you clearly like _some_ people,” she said leadingly, “Sango, Miroku...”

He gave her a derisive snort in response and she giggled. Then her expression turned somber.

“And Kikyou…”

Inuyasha frowned into the water, a part of him growing suspicious of what she was trying to get at. Without looking at him, she gauged his reaction, wanting to broach the subject but knowing to do so carefully. They stayed quiet for several minutes longer, staring at the water. It was a meditation, and Kagome’s thoughts bounced around haphazardly, though roughly centered around the man beside her. The pain that had pushed him out here, and his reluctance to return. Finally, she decided to press forward and turned to face him.

“Have…,” she started softly, “Have you been able to heal, out here? From what happened with Kikyou?”

He gazed down at her seriously, observing the earnestness in her face. Those wide eyes seemed to command his honesty and he was responding before he really thought about the words leaving his mouth.

“I’ve been able to forget,” he said.

He felt the pain he saw in her eyes at his admission, and sympathy. But it was the truth and she accepted it. She blinked and sighed and allowed her body to lean against his. Their shoulders pressed together and it was a silent comfort that helped ease the harshness of the sterile world around them. The silence was filled with the soft tumble of little waves under the bridge and when she closed her eyes, she could almost take herself back to the long, remote gravel bars alongside the bright, mischievous Iniakuk. And then her eyes fluttered open and remember her present.

“What about now?” She asked eventually, “Can you face it now? Can you forgive her? Can you forgive yourself?”

“I forgave her a long time ago.”

“Have you forgiven yourself?”

He was silent, dark brows drawn together, jaw clenched tightly.

“It still hurts,” he finally admitted.

Her hand moved on its own, reaching up shyly behind his back. Her palm pressed against him and rubbed gentle, swirling motions between his shoulder blades. After a minute or two, he straightened to stand away from her, his eyes skyward.

“You’re really making it hard for me to go back,” he said softly, “Never really noticed how lonely that cabin is.”

He looked at her then, a searching look, his eyes shifting around as they took in her face. She looked up at him with wide eyes, her expression open, earnest, and bright. And hopeful. Inuyasha bit his lip.

“I can’t believe I thought you looked like her,” he said, almost a sigh.

Kagome frowned at this. 

“When I look at you now, I almost can’t remember what she looked like.”

“Can… Can I take that as a good thing?”

“I think so, I can’t mourn her forever, and if I’m not joining her, then I better start thinking about what to do with the rest of my life.”

“Hmm,” Kagome said, puckering her lip and deciding it was time to lighten the mood, “You can start by giving me your number. I’ll call you tomorrow morning after I get the rental car.”

Inuyasha huffed a little scoff, but pulled out his phone. While really, nothing had changed between them, he felt himself breathe easier. Below them, the river continued on, tamed on both sides by paved embankments, traversed by bridges, but still teaming with life and energy and it giggled with the same bubbly voice as in the mountains. The fish still swam, and birds patrolled its shallows. Reeds and water plants rooted into its silty bottom, native flowers grew on display from carefully tended planters, and the sun smiled down on them. The pulse of life was subdued here, in the heart of the city, reeled in and curbed by modern taste, but it was there, as vibrant and colorful as ever. And as long as you listen for it, it will be calling to you.

* * *

A/N: So, wanna start off with a quick apology. The whole raison d'etre for this fic was to sort of commemorate a trip i’d taken last year in Alaska. Because of that, there was a lot of contrived, “gotta make the characters do this, then this, then this”, in order to keep them on track with my trip. I also specifically made an effort to focus more on what they were experiencing rather than consider their growth as characters. all this sort of resulted in a fic without much of a plot. :P

Also, a particular challenge with this fic has been the fact that i wanted Inuyasha to be human, more realistic, and older. Most people I know who are really outdoorsy seem to have a strong handle on their emotions, maybe cause can actually be dangerous to have a loose temper in the wilderness. So I kept finding that there was just no way I could write inuyasha to be his usual brash self as a mountain dude in his late twenties/early thirties… Just couldn’t imagine it… and i kept feeling like if i did try to stay closer to the original series, it would make him seem immature and very much a man child… so i made him broody instead… and can’t decide how much i like it…

Phew, anyways, only the last chapter to go!! And just a heads up, they don’t end up together at the end of this :P (sorry! Maybe in a sequel or something!)


	17. Journey's End

#  **The Call**

~ Kitty

**Chapter 16: Journey’s end**

… 

_ “I am learning to live close to the lives of my friends without ever seeing them. No miles of any measurement can separate your soul from mine.”  _

_ ― John Muir _

* * *

The dream crystallized around him, holding him captive before he realized where it was going. He was home, as much of a home as he could claim to have in the world. He was home but home was wrong. The walls were bare, old, and creaky. His cot, no longer a symbol of rest. The air around him was still and stagnant and he felt as though his lungs were putrefying just standing where he was. The forest outside felt dark and haunted and eerie. He paced inside the cabin, even the sound of his footsteps against the hard wooden planks was hollow, not a musical percussion, but an empty, dull thudding. And when he stepped outside to find sunlight and birdsong, an empty forest greeted him, grey and muted and foreboding. 

“Hello?” he heard his own voice call out, “Is anyone out there?”

Even his echo refused to answer him.

“Hello? Anybody?” he continued calling. His feet were moving but there was no destination. His steps were soundless as he scrambled through the branches and the moss.

“Anyone?” His calls sounded small and pathetic in his ears. He suddenly found himself on his knees on the dark forest floor. The long, jagged branches seemed to close in on him and a low pulsing hum cried out from inside his chest.

“Please,” he called, voiced brought down to a whisper, “Don’t leave me alone.”

He felt the wind blow past him silently, as though it, too, were abandoning him. Loneliness wrapped around him and the looming trees seemed to judge him, mocking him for so confidently declaring his desire for solitude and independence. His own words from just a few days ago came back to him as a jeer.

_ ‘I don’t need anybody.’ _

“Yes, you do,” he whispered to himself, turning eyes up to the branches above his head. 

“Please,” he continued to call out while the cold, stony mountains looked on, “Please, don’t leave me alone.”

… 

It was several seconds of half wakefulness before he realized the low pulsing hum beside him was his phone. A new entered name was glowing on the screen and when he read it, he was sitting upright immediately, answering the call as fast as his fingers could manage.

“H-hey, Kagome, hi,” he stuttered, “Is it time to go?”

Her laughter on the other end was bright and cheerful, but her voice seemed far away when she spoke. 

“Just picked up the car,” she said, “Be back in about fifteen minutes.”

Clothing choice at the tail end of a backcountry vacation was limited, and quite often musky, and that was the very best scenario. Inuyasha couldn’t recall any other time in living history when he’d had so much trouble deciding on his outfit for the day. His pants were all smeared with soot, the stains on his shirts looked about as nasty as they smelled. He mentally berated himself for his lack of foresight in preparation for the day. 

Perhaps he had time to rush to the store.

Something flopped to his feet when he threw open the door. The simple black T-shirt was too small when he held it up, but it was clean. A messily scribbled note in Miroku’s illegible writing fluttered the floor.

_ “You owe me.” _

Inuyasha snorted through his nose, holding out the cotton fabric with a look of disdain. It was clean at least. And he certainly didn’t have any better ideas at the moment. 

The sun was bright when he stepped outside, it’s radiant heat immediately penetrating the thin fabric of his shirt. He lifted a hand to shield his eyes as he approached the car. Kagome gave him a funny look as he opened the door and climbed inside.

“You won’t get cold?”

Grunt.

“Oh! I found your jacket in my pack,” Kagome said, “Should I get it now?”

Grunt.

“It’s going to be a loooooong drive if this keeps up,” she said, the reproach evident in her voice.

“I don’t need it,” he said. And then, after a pause, “Do… you want me to drive?”

“Oh, I’m good!” she chirped, “You got me through the river and even pushed back your flight to keep me company. Just sit back and relax!”

“Hmm, if you say so,” he said, eyeing her askance. Kagome caught the look and turned on him.

“What’s that look for?” she demanded, “I’m a way better driver than a rafter.”

“If you say so.”

Kagome huffed at the obvious doubt in his voice, turning the ignition and putting the car in drive. 

“Just don’t be one of those guys that makes fun of women driving,” she said.

“Not when I’m placing my life in the hands of one.”

Kagome paused to look at him, his expression carefully schooled to an innocent, blank look. It was early that morning, and the sunlight was golden as it reflected off his hair. His lips quirked as he tried to hold her accusatory stare and his eyes had crinkles in their corners with a lively spark that spoke of play. She managed her narrow eyed glare for just a breath or two before the smile pressing against her lips won out and she spared a moment to beam at him before turning her attention to the road.

“Alright, puppies, here we come!”

… 

Kagome turned out to be a much better driver than white-water rafter and while he tried to keep up with her chatter, the lull of the car engine and her gentle voice as it recounted this or that tale eventually defeated him. His sleep was deep and dreamless and Kagome let him rest, laughing quietly to herself when his breathing caught and a soft snore resulted. The densely forested scenery was majestic and with his peaceful presence beside her, the rolling drive flew by quickly. Two hours later, they arrived at a resort near the outskirts of Denali National Park and she pulled the car into a convenient shaded spot, switching off the engine and sighing as she turned to contemplate her companion.

She had plenty of opportunity to study him while they were in the woods, but there was something different about him now. No more obscuring downy layers, or grime, or stubble. She could peer down at his clean shaven face without obstruction, follow the path of his breath as it pulled air down into his lungs and appreciate the swells and shadows in the lines of his arms. The shirt wrapped around him in a snug fit, emphasizing his chest, going taught with each inhale. She allowed herself the visual pleasure for just a moment or two longer before scoffing at herself and chiding her unabashed ogling. There was substance to this man as well. A deep rooted hurt, as well as a resilience that worked to overcome it. And as she gazed down at his prone, reclined figure, she released a tendril of yearning she’d been holding back. A slender hand reached up to touch his face, sliding lightly over his cheek, grazing the lower edge of his lip, before dropping lower down to his shoulder and gently shaking him awake.

“Hey,” she called out softly, “Hey, we’re here.”

Inuyasha blinked sleepily, his eyes hazy and glazed as they slowly came into focus.

“Nngh,” he groaned, sitting up. Kagome laughed at him, poking his shoulder more insistently.

“C’mon!” she said, “Let’s go see some puppies!”

There was a shuttle waiting for them, an entire team of happy, bright eyed dogs painted across its side. The driver checked for their names and then they were off, grumbling down bumpier and bumpier roads to the kennels. The shuttle was crammed full of vacationers and they sat pressed against each other, the rocking bus apparently determined to fuse them at the shoulders. Kagome laughed at him when a child’s face popped over the seat back in front of them and stared wide eyed at the gruff mountain hermit. 

“Waddya want kid?”

His voice was not unkind but the child ducked quickly back to safety against his mother’s side. The woman chided the boy, turning to smile a silent apology. Inuyasha grunted but Kagome smiled back.

“Something tells me you were a mama’s boy,” she teased him. He made a face and snorted.

“I gave her plenty of headaches,” he said, “Teachers were always calling her about something bad I did.”

“That doesn’t surprise me.”

“Well, I bet you were a goodie two shoes,” he told her.

“I was actually really naughty,” she countered, “But I was really good at getting away with everything.”

He glanced over at her, the brightness in her eyes and her naturally rosy cheeks now familiar and endearing.

“Yeah,” he said, a smirk tugging at one side of his lips, “You look like you could get away with murder.”

Her face transformed at his declaration, looking aghast for the briefest of moments.

“What’s  _ that _ supposed to mean?”

“Alright folks, welcome to Husky Homestead!”

The bus lurched to a halt before he could answer her and soon they were all jostling to exit the bus. Several uniformed workers were waiting for the new arrivals, a collection of soft, fuzzy, yawning shapes in their arms and beside him, Kagome squealed to see the young puppies. The visiting children were each handed a puppy first, but then it was her turn and a worker smiled as she deposited a small, squirming bundle into her arms. 

“I’m in heaven,” she declared, turning to him, “I can die happy now.”

He rolled his eyes and grunted. The puppy fiasco served a dual purpose. With so many hands cuddling and stroking them, the pups were quickly socialized and accustomed to strange, eager hands, learning there was nothing to fear from them. Inuyasha watched her, her hands instinctively moving to keep the wriggling mass of fur from tumbling to the ground. He was a light tawny mutt, of completely unidentifiable lineage, all the dogs were. Broadly classified as Alaskan huskies, they were, in fact, a collection of breeds, selected purely for a love of running, and when Kagome commented on how different they looked from their Siberian cousins, he told her exactly that.

“Hound, spitz, terrier,” he said, “They’re a bit of everything. As long as it loves to run.”

“Well,” Kagome said, holding up the pup by the armpits as it attempted to run up and over her shoulder, “This one fits the bill, that’s for sure.”

Regaining control of the fidgety creature, she turned it around to coo into its face.

“Isn’t that right?” she said, “You gonna be a sled dog? Hmm?”

Its movements effectively neutralized, the pup turned up its escape tactics, straining close to wash its tongue across her face. The first lick caught the tip of her nose, the next attempted to slither right up it.

“Yech!” Kagome squeaked, angling her face away, “We only just met, that’s going a bit too far, don’t you think?”

Inuyasha snorted, taking the pup from her, cradling it comfortably by the chest so that all four paws dangled down uselessly on either side of his arm. Sensing it was now held by more experienced hands, the puppy settled down quickly, contenting itself with gazing around as though taking in the view from its newfound height.

“Inuyasha?” a voice sounded from behind. Turning Inuyasha met a familiar face.

“You’re Inuyasha right?” a man stepped forward, hand outstretched, “Remember me? We started here together a few years ago.”

“... Jeb, right?” Inuyasha answered, cautiously taking the offered hand.

“That’s right!” Jeb answered, “Glad to see you’re still alive!”

Kagome giggled while Inuyasha frowned. “Why does everyone say that?”

Then Jeb glanced at Kagome, eyebrows rising.

“Well I see you haven’t been wasting time these last few years,” he said, “Hi, my name’s Jeb. I worked with this grouch a while back.”

Inuyasha rolled his eyes and snorted while Kagome let out a full throated laugh. “Ha! The grouchiness hasn’t changed, I can tell you that.”

“Oy!”

“Ok everyone! Please return your puppies and come this way!” a tour guide called out.

“Hey,” Jeb said, turning to help funnel visitors to the kennel viewing area, “I’ll catch up with you later. Zig’s litter this year are old enough to meet if you want to check them out after the tour.”

Kagome was nodding vigorously before Inuyasha could even begin to respond. The crowds were being ushered to a rickety set of stadium seating and the pair were swept along with it. They sat down side by side, facing a collection of small wooden shelters, each with an excited, pacing dog attached to a pole beside it. Some of the older ones sat patiently, knowing the drill and waited attentively for the next round of activities. The younger ones whined and lunged against their tethers, chain links jangling as the twitchy, fidgety bodies ran circles around their poles, a well worn track marking edge of the chain.

“Why are they all chained up?” Kagome leaned close to whisper her question. Her hair fell against his shoulder and the subtle scent of her shampoo wafted to his nose. He blinked and sniffed to clear his head. 

“They’re unfixed,” he answered, “Unless you want to be swimming in puppies and have no control of the breeding, you gotta keep them all separate.”

She made a noise of understanding, nodding slowly but a frown still decorated her brow. 

“Don’t worry,” he told her, “They’re spoiled as all hell. They get run several times a day and the ones that aren’t in heat get to hang out.”

“Ahh,” she murmured, sufficiently appeased.

The presentation was short but informative. Sled dogs, Kagome came to realize, were bonafide professional athletes, with customized diets, exercise regimens, and a drive beyond any creature she’d ever witnessed. There was a demonstration of a dogsled team sized treadmill and recent mother, Zig, was led through the stands for pets and a break from her puppies. Kagome marveled at the taut bodied creature as she strutted by.

“Wow,” Kagome said, “This dog is  _ ripped _ !”

Inuyasha grunted, an amused smirk tugging at his lips. 

Zip recognized Inuyasha, sniffing his hands carefully as she slowly remembered his scent. Her tail wagged and he was greeted, doggy style, while the surprised handler struggled to bring her forepaws back down to the ground.

“Hey girl,” Kagome heard him whisper, “How you been?”

His hands held the dog gently, finding the ears atop her slender head and pressing in with his thumbs. There was a tender warmth in the way he ran his fingers through the dog’s fur and the expression on his face caught her by surprise. Far more open and relaxed than she’d ever seen him these past two weeks, the canine seemed to create cracks in his usual walls and barriers and though his expression remained muted, there was a glow behind it that made her heart swell to see. Soft, with a pure kind of joy, untainted by shadows of the past, it was a look she wanted to see him wear more often. 

And then Zig had to move on and greet the rest of her fans. They were all eventually moved inside where Jeff King, the man himself, greeted them, leading them through an entertaining demonstration of what life on the Iditarod was like, from humorous mimicry of a variety of methods of keeping warm, to all the gruesome details of the dangers in the Alaskan winter forests. Ultimately, like any other tour, they were led to the gift shop. Just as Kagome started to browse the souvenirs, Jeb came up to then, two three week old puppies in hand.

The sight of the two pudgy, furry sausages had Kagome speechless and Inuyasha enjoyed watching the adoring expression spread across her face, the way her eyes widened and her lips puckered. Outside, Zig’s puppies were being carefully held out for the other visitors to stroke and pet but Jeb simply plopped the warm little bundle into Kagome’s open palms. She immediately brought the small yipping body to her face, giggling then the stubby, sniffling nose bumped up against hers. 

“Oh my gosh,” she murmured, “Jeb, you’re killing me…”

There was something special and touching in the fragility of new life. It had a smell to it and Kagome brought her nose close against the soft, plush body, marveling how her senses instinctively knew the scent and she felt the natural protective instinct that slept inside of every social creature. The second puppy was deposited into Inuyasha’s hands and then Jeb stepped back, offering to snap a picture of the pair.

Kagome immediately agreed, carefully tucking the precious handful against her chest and searching for her phone. 

“Get closer together,” Jeb said, gesturing with his free hand. Inuyasha sighed, shuffling over until they were hip to hip and shoulder to shoulder, each with a little wrinkly-faced sausage in hand.

“So, you think I could sneak out of here with one of these under my shirt?” Kagome whispered conspiratorially to him. He huffed a short laugh, unable to stifle the smile that pulled up the corners of his lips.

“Alright, smile!” Jeb called out to them. Abruptly, Kagome brought an arm around his, leaning in close and holding up the puppy with her other hand. Her stature was a near perfect fit, like two puzzle pieces coming together and he, perhaps, put on a far wider smile than he had intended to. “One, two, three!”

… 

“What was it like to mush them? Is it hard to steer? What about obstacles?”

Kagome had an unending stream of questions that filled nearly the entire two hour drive back to Fairbanks. Having skipped breakfast, and only a light snack for lunch, the both of them were ravenous for a meal when they returned. Surprisingly enough, it turned out that there was a thriving Korean community in Fairbanks, Alaska, and Inuyasha and Kagome were soon sitting across from each other in the basement restaurant of a karaoke bar, their mouths salivating when the plates Korean barbeque beef and pork arrived, sweet and sticky and fragrant.

“It’s exactly like you’d imagine, the dogs know where to go, and if there’re obstacles, then you’re shit outa luck.”

He enjoyed her laughter, sitting back from his plate to admire her. His eyes memorized every laugh line with a desperation, knowing that tomorrow, she’d be gone. There was something utterly breathtakingly sad about that knowledge and it was no small mental effort to keep his mind from mulling on that fact. Taking Kagome herself as an example, he strove to enjoy the moment, taking in as many details as his senses could absorb, so that he could return to this short-lived memory when he returned to his long, solitary days in the exile he’d enforced upon himself. 

Their walk back to the hotel took them back along the Chena river, its tamed, thrumming waters gently humming below them as they strolled the footpath beside it. There was quiet between them, a loud quiet. Like their beating hearts were screaming for each other but neither could voice it. Kagome nibbled at her lip, desperately wanting to say something, anything, that could leave her hanging on a thread of hope that their friendship would extend beyond this singular trip. She watched him carefully, studying him, trying to get just an inkling of what he was thinking.

“So...,” she started, trailing off when he jumped at the sound of her voice. Kagome swallowed, gathering some little courage, “How good’s reception at your cabin? What’s the best way to reach you?”

Inuyasha couldn’t remember the last time his chest squeezed so tight in that way. Somehow, he managed a response.

“It’s not that great,” he said, “Internet’s better.”

Kagome blinked.

“Ah, right,” she said, “For your work right?”

Grunt.

Silence descended while Kagome temporarily lost the courage to go on. Their walking gradually slowed as they drew closer to the hotel, until they came to a full stop all together. They stood quietly by the river, to all appearances relaxed in companionable silence, and yet there was a tenuous thread of the unspoken stretching out between them. And to her surprise, it was Inuyasha who made the offer.

“Can… can I email you?”

The smile she gave him was bright and hopeful and it spurred him on to the point of babbling.

“I can video chat too, all those things. And if… if you really liked this trip, you should come in the winter time. It's real peaceful and the northern lights are cool,” he said quickly, “Dunno, maybe… if you can make it up…?”

“That’d be really nice,” she told him, still smiling. The intensity felt too much for him and he broke eye contact, staring out over the river and shifting uncomfortably. First he moved his weight to his far foot for a moment. And then he took a breath and shifted over to his near foot, and then he was so close, he could feel her body heat beside him, or was it just his nervousness?

His heart fell when he felt her pull away, a stricken feeling of abandonment. And then he felt her fingers shyly find his hand, drawing his attention and causing him to turn his head. 

Her eyes were infinite as he stared down into them. Deep, dark pools, warm, and welcoming. They searched his for a breath, and gradually, formless in his thoughts though crystal clear at the same time, he realized unconsciously the wordless question in her gaze.

The hand that she’d claimed so tentatively squeezed her fingers, his other lifting to dancing lightly over her cheek. There was a thrumming in her ears as he shifted to stand closer. If she leaned in only slightly, it would only be their clothing separating their bodies and her chest flooded with heat as the realization registered in her mind. But all these thoughts were hazy and distant from her consciousness because his eyes were piercing through her, drawing closer, and then there was nothing else in her world outside of him and the small, intimate space between them.

He leaned ever closer, a force beyond his control pressing him onward. His hand found a firmer purchase along her jaw and she shifted slightly, leaning in to his hold. He felt the rush of her breath, short and shallow and warm against his lips. He blinked, eyes searching her face one last time, confirming whether this advance was welcome, and her wide, trusting eyes gazed up at him like a plea. Unbidden, the pinprick feeling of tears began to tickle the backs of his eyes and he was sure the heart inside his chest had never beat faster. 

Their lips met as only a feather light touch but the jolt of sensation shot through his spine and tingled straight down to his toes. His entire body trembled and his lungs drew a sharp, involuntary gasp. They pulled apart a short distance, both seeking to confirm the other’s reaction. When glazed, dilated eyes met with equally glazed, dilated eyes, the wash of relief was sudden and sweeping and he dipped his chin back down to press more firmly against the warmth of her lips, rolling sensations of joy, reassurance, and an aching sort of yearning that bordered sadness gripped him, squeezing his chest as though to silence the loud pounding of his heart. 

“Whoo!” the loud, raucous cry penetrated their ear abruptly and they pulled apart in a daze, minds struggling to catch back up with the present.

Another jeering call sounded from across the street as a group of drunkards stumbled along to the nearby wateringhole. Untangling themselves from each other, Kagome bashfully tucked a lock of hair behind her ear, her blush spread over her entire face and her eyes resolutely locked on the sidewalk. Coughing, she struggled for words as he looked on, strangely unable to look away from the lips he’d only been starting to taste.

“I… I guess we should turn in,” she stuttered, “My flight’s pretty early tomorrow…”

The long, sleepless night passed in awkward silence, each shallowly breathing lump on the two beds hyper aware of every shift and shuffle the other made. And then in the morning, with dark circles under both their eyes, Inuyasha drove her to the airport, gradually feeling himself begin to hyperventilate as an impulse inside him screamed desperately to beg her to stay. He helped her with her bags, she tried to return his jacket, they muttered awkward goodbyes. And he stood on the curb, watching her back grow slowly smaller.

“Hey,” his voice called to her as she was about to enter the airport. Her heart fluttered hopefully as she whirled around.

“Yeah?” she said, suddenly tight chested and short of breath. 

He suddenly seemed to search for words, his mouth open and uncertain. Finally, “I’m staying in Fairbanks a couple more days to get some more gear,” he said, “So my phone will work, you know, for a little longer.”

Kagome waiter, her eyes scanning his face while her heart pounded. 

“Call me when you land?”

… 

She moved with very little motion, almost floating as her feet took her down the jetbridge and into the terminal. The last several hours had been a daze, with the white noise of the plane engine pressing in around her, forcing her perception inward and she’d dreamed of thick, lush alders and breathtaking mountain scapes. The bright light of the terminal invaded her mind with a piercing ray of artificial light and it was a moment before she recognized familiar cafe’s and signs of her home airport. People bustled around her, busy and preoccupied, staring at screens or rushing to a gate. The wheels of suitcases clattered against the hard tile and voices rose up, parents chiding children, business phone calls, announcers paging for an owner to reclaim a lost item. The world around her was suddenly sterile and bare and foreign and Kagome bit her lip as her body cried out its grief over the loss of the wild beauty that had briefly been hers. She felt it now, an emptiness in her flesh and bones and an ache rose up within her for the wild, reckless freedom she’d had for the past two weeks. It was with a disattached, neutral face which she wore as she made her way home, silent, pensive, and conflicted.

Kagome didn’t really think as she moved, throwing her bags to the side upon entering her dark, quiet apartment. She stood at the center of the room, gazing into space, feeling the weight of her daily life returning to her shoulders and she found she didn’t quite want to admit her vacation was over. Suddenly with urgent movements, she crossed the carpeted floor to her discarded bags. The zipper cried out into the silence as she pried the pack open. Reaching in, her hands pulled out his jacket, the scent of campfire smoke and sharp, biting pine, and the fresh, lush green of the Alaskan taiga gushed out and enveloped the air around her. And also him, his own dark, warm scent came around her shoulders in a comforting embrace and she pulled the collar up high against her face. She hugged herself tightly and in her mind, she was transported back to the Alaskan Brooks Range, his strong arms around her and holding her close and warm. Standing frozen, breathing in deeply, her heart gave out a cry that seemed to echo and resonate silently in the empty room. She swallowed hard past a sudden lump that had formed inside her throat. She squatted down beside her bags and after a little further digging and found her cellphone, flicking through her contacts until she found that recently added number. Though she felt their distance keenly, it was a relief that settled into every corner of her unsettled mind as she lifted the phone to her ear. It rang for only a second before a click and then a deep, endearing voice answered.

“Hey.”

… 

**The END!!!**

…

**Short Epilogue:**

… 

**From** : Inuyasha Takahashi

**Sent** : Friday, July 26, 2019

**To** : Miroku theIdiot

**Subject** : Join us on our special day!

Attending? _ X _Y/__N

+1? __Y/_ X _N, Name: ____________

Dietary restrictions? __ No Dairy, __ No Gluten, __ Vegan/Vegetarian, Other:  WTF is gluten???

Click the link to see our registry! <\-- Buy your own damn shit!

* * *

A/N: so… what do you think? I had always really wanted the story to end this way, totally unresolved, because that feeling of loss and yearning was something I experienced when I came back from alaska and drove through the city for the first time in two weeks. It’s so weird how healing it is to be out there, and how empty you feel when you get back. 

Sequel? Well, at the very least, I have a short one in mind to help resolve this unfinished business of Inuyasha and Kagome :P not sure when i’ll get to it but i’m definitely open to ideas/suggestions in the meantime so let me know what you think would make the most sense for them :)

  
  



	18. Tiny epilogue

**The Call**

~Kitty

**Tiny Epilogue**

**…**

_ “With more than half a million square miles, Alaska ranks number one among with 50 states in the area, and number 50 in population. It still represents the ultimate wilderness…” _

_ ― John Muir, The Story of My Boyhood and Youth _

* * *

The snowmobile came to a halt at the edge of the frozen river. It was dark, oppressively so, and the piercing ray of yellow from the machine’s headlights cut a narrow swath through the daytime darkness. And when he cut the engine, the darkness plunged in like a wave washing the world away and there was nothingness around him. The trek into town was a dreary one. With a minuscule population, it was a wonder that any services functioned at all. But he managed to find his way to the airstrip on memory alone, the starlight providing just enough visibility to avoid stumbling over the uneven piles of snow. 

The usual package awaited him. And a parcel he had not been expecting. His name was neatly handwritten on the label in a curving bouncy slant he’d become familiar with other the past several months and his mood lifted dramatically to receive the surprise delivery.

The drive back to his cabin was brief, the parcel tucked protectively into his jacket, beside his heart. And in the yellow flickering light of his cabin, he carefully unfolded the wrappings to find a soft, hand knit scarf and a simple leather folder. His hands caressed the red yarn, enjoying the soft, plush material. Alone in his isolation, with no one to save face in front of, he allowed an unguarded smile to cross his face, eyes warm and soft as he held up the gift. He then turned curiously to the leather folder, flipping it open to find a handwritten note and a collection of painted paper.

_ Hi Inuyasha! _

_ Sucks that you’re internet’s been down these few weeks. Miroku and Sango are worried you got washed away by an avalanche or something. _

_ It must be dark all the time where you are now. Here’s some pictures to remind you what the sun looks like! _

_ Kagome _

Deep green forest, sun kissed mountains, fireweed and willow, caribou, weasel, moose. A snap of a hawk dominating the sky, the flip of a grayling as it snagged an insect on the water’s surface. Some candid, others posed, he flipped through the photos slowly, recalling the circumstances around every picture. A wash of memory flooded through him, the warmth of the sun on his back, the surprise of glacial meltwater on his legs. Her awed, breathless wonder at every small detail of his wild, mountain home. And more prominently, the press of soft warm lips against his. At once, he felt her presence around him, filling up the small, lonely space and he slept easy that night, the gold-tinted colors of her pictures splashed across his dreams.


End file.
